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Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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My son is 13, diagnosed with anxiety spectrum at age 8.His medications have reduced , takes fluvoximine 50 at night, but has social media addiction,what should i do?

Ans: Managing a child's social media addiction, especially when they have underlying mental health concerns like anxiety, can be challenging but crucial for their well-being. Start by having an open and non-judgmental conversation with your son about his social media use. Express your concerns about how excessive screen time can impact his mental health and overall well-being.Establish clear rules and boundaries around screen time and social media use. This could include limiting the amount of time he spends on social media each day or setting specific times when he's allowed to use it.
Lead by Example: Model healthy screen time habits yourself. Show your son that you prioritize face-to-face interactions, hobbies, and other activities over excessive screen time.Encourage your son to engage in offline activities that he enjoys and that promote social interaction, physical activity, and creativity. This could include sports, hobbies, art, or spending time with friends and family.Keep an eye on your son's social media use and monitor the content he's consuming. Consider using parental control apps or settings to limit access to certain apps or websites.If your son's social media addiction is significantly impacting his mental health or daily functioning, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating addiction and/or anxiety. They can provide individualized strategies and support for managing his social media use in a healthy way.
Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies: Help your son develop healthy coping strategies for managing his anxiety, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, or engaging in calming activities when he feels overwhelmed.
By taking proactive steps to address your son's social media addiction and providing support for his anxiety, you can help him develop healthier habits and improve his overall well-being. Remember to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding, and seek professional support if needed.

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Hi Mam, Hope you are doing well. I am very worried about my son who is now 12.5 years old and studying in 7th standard in a very reputed school. Since childhood, he has no interest in studies, unless we doesn't seat in front of him, he doesn't study. Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class and the result is he doesn't get good marks in the exam. When we scold him for studies, he does it for that particular time only and then get back to his non-interest mode again and start to run from studies. He will play video games, goes to play around with his friends, he will find some or the other reason for not doing studies or homework. The irony is that he is not interested in any sports or any other kind of activities. In every summer holidays, we make him to join some sports or music classes, but there also he doesn't show interest and do things just for the sake of showing. From last year, we have started sending him to tuitions also, but no change in attitude. This year we have found a teacher of his reputed school who is retired and taking tuitions, we are sending him to her and she is charging a big amount for tuitions. please guide how can we change his attitude and make him more serious in any activity he does as he doesn't have interest in anything (we have observed doing everything we can).
Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..

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