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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1418 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi My daughter is going through anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, she is addicted to social media game and chat with online unknown friends, she is in 12th class, kindly help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When it comes to something as serious as suicidal thoughts, kindly do not simply rely on getting suggestions here. Please take your daughter to a professional (she needs it soon). This person will be able to work with her on her challenge areas and get her to a better mind space.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi
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My 24 yr old daughter is very anxious about her career. She wants power, money, highest post. So that she is recognised by everybody in the society. As she is from Arts background for which she is regretting. And blaming parents that they have not guided her properly. If she would have taken science stream she might be doctor or engineer by which she can earn money more. Now she is preparing for bank exam. She is doing hard work. But she has closed herself in her room, windows are shut. Not interacting with parents or guests. She is taking medicine stalopam 15 and taken help of psychologist for three sitting which is incomplete. Now she is not willing to go to psychologist because psychologist has not listened to her empathically ( her version). We parents helpless donot know what is our next step. Please can you help me in this regard. Please send reply in my email if possible.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 24, if she is still looking for validation from the external world to create her identity, she's again setting herself up for failure. If she still thinks that money, name and fame is what is going to earn her recognition from the society, she really needs a course that will change her mindset.
As parents, kindly call out such behavior that is messing with her mind. Talk therapy or advice from home isn't going to help anymore...she hasn't had much exposure of what the outside world is like...
Every stream of education brings with it many opportunities that can be explored!
My suggestion would be for her to be part of activities, communities and the like where she will be able to interact with different people from various backgrounds...Even volunteering opportunities can give good exposure...
Now, she may not be willing to do this as she finds comfort in what she is doing by shutting herself from the outside world...again 'CALL OUT' this behavior and that you as parents don't support her self-pity tirade. Also, as parents you can become part of any community or volunteering opportunity that 'shows' her that her parents are not just preaching to her but actually living it...
Just to reiterate, do not feel sorry for her; she will thrive on that sympathy...if you want to see a change in her, then it's time to shake things up so she knows that her parents mean business...remember, she is an adult...so, treat her as one!

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |94 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024
Relationship
I’m feeling really lost right now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year, and things started out great. We have a lot in common, and we both enjoy going out with friends. But recently, I've noticed something that’s been bothering me. He works as a bartender, and every time I go to his bar, he gets upset about my friends being there. It feels like he’s trying to push me away from them, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Last weekend, we went out, and after a few drinks, I mentioned how uncomfortable it made me that he talked badly about my friends when they come to his bar. I thought I was being calm about it, but he just flipped out. He started yelling at me in the car, and I was so scared because he was driving way too fast and swerving. I told him I was going to call the cops, but he didn’t listen. Eventually, he pulled over, got out of the car, and started screaming and running around. It all felt so intense and out of control. When he came back to the car, things got physical. I slapped him in an attempt to make him stop, which I regret because I’ve never done that before. In the heat of the moment, he slapped me back and pushed me into a bush. The next day, I had bruises, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. Now, he’s been trying to buy me things and even booked a trip for us, begging me to stay. But I feel so unsure of what to do. I keep telling him that I need space, but it feels like he’s not really understanding the severity of what happened. I’m torn between wanting to make it work and realizing that this situation isn’t healthy. What should I do? Should I give him another chance or listen to my instincts and walk away for good?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, physical violence is never the answer to any problem. I think you already know that. Coming to your main query, I think you should take the chain of events that followed after you confronted him very seriously. It's not healthy to slap and be slapped back and pushed into a bush. I am sure he regrets it just like you, but it can become a pattern. I would strongly urge you to rethink this relationship. If you are keen on keeping it going, I recommend either having an open discussion about what happened to make sure it is never repeated, or even better, consulting a therapist to work through the issues. You can have concerns and queries as to why he doesn't like it when your friends are around- that does not warrant such a harsh reaction.

I hope this helps.

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |43 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir I am 39 years old. I want to retire at age 50.Now I have 60 lacs in fd in different banks and post office. I have 3.5 lacs in Mutual Fund. I have different properties including home valuing approximately 3.5 Cr.I have no loan.What is my financial position exactly now.How should I plan to get 1 lac monthly after retirement.
Ans: You have a solid financial foundation , Having static property is good to have, unless it is creating any income, otherwise it will be consuming expenses for maintenance. about plan to get 1 lac monthly after retirement at 50 you need to plan certain investments, for 12L(1L per month) per year you need corpus of 3 CR . Retirement Corpus Allocation: Plan to Achieve Your Goal:
1. Maximize FD Efficiency- Shift ?30 lakhs from FDs to debt mutual funds or balanced advantage funds for better post-tax returns (~7-8%). Keep ?30 lakhs in FDs/post office for emergencies and stable returns. 2. Grow Mutual Fund Investments:
Increase equity exposure to at least ?50 lakhs by systematic investments of ?50,000/month in equity mutual funds (e.g., index funds, large-cap funds). By doing this your Expected returns: 10-12% over 10 years, growing the corpus to ~?1.2 crore.
3. Utilize Properties- Explore rental income or liquidate one property closer to retirement to add to your corpus.
If one property generates ?50,000 monthly, you’ll need a smaller investment corpus for the remaining ?50,000.
At retirement allocate-50% in debt funds/FDs for stability and regular income. 50% in equity mutual funds for growth and inflation adjustment. Build an Emergency Fund: Maintain ?10-15 lakhs for unforeseen expenses post-retirement.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede , Founder Prosperity Lifestyle Hub Community.

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |43 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 31, 2024

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Money
Sir, I am a group d railway employee .My total income in hand is 40000. I distribute my money as personal loan emi 14702 (3 years left) Fridge emi 1700 (2 left) For marriage purpose 10000/month Investment mf 5500 (just started 5 months) My expense 4000 Family 5000 Now I have to marriage in January 2026 ,try to arrange money 2 lakhs, I know that's not enough but still I try to make up, after marriage I live in rent of 7000, then my marriage purpose 10000 break into rent and my expense. I bought a land 2 years ago, after 2 years of my marriage I want build my home and then I think I have 2.5 lakh in mf and rest I should take a home loan... Am I right path? Please suggest a proper roadmap for my current financial situation.
Ans: Dear Jay, Its good to see that you are sensitive about the future and concerned about how to achieve it, sere are some suggestions, 1. Savings for Marriage: Target: ?2,00,000 by January 2026-Your current savings approach of ?10,000/month is excellent. By January 2026 (approximately 15 months), you’ll save ?1,50,000. Add the maturity value of your MF investments (?5,500/month for 15 months = ~?82,500 assuming 10% returns). Together, this will bring you close to your target.
2. Post-Marriage (From January 2026)- Adjust Budget for Rent:- Allocate ?7,000/month from the ?10,000 set aside for marriage savings. About Expenses: Consolidate other expenses into ?6,000–?7,000. Continue Investing in Mutual Funds: maintain your SIP. 3. Home Construction Planning (2028)-Assess how much additional funds you’ll need beyond the projected ?2.5 lakh from MFs.lan to take a home loan while ensuring your EMIs remain below 40% of your monthly income (~?16,000). 4. Start building an emergency fund of ?50,000–?1,00,000 gradually to handle unexpected expenses without disrupting other goals. By staying disciplined and regularly reviewing your financial plan. Regards, Nitin Narkhede Mentor, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,

...Read more

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