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Anu Krishna |1320 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 24, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi My daughter is going through anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts, she is addicted to social media game and chat with online unknown friends, she is in 12th class, kindly help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When it comes to something as serious as suicidal thoughts, kindly do not simply rely on getting suggestions here. Please take your daughter to a professional (she needs it soon). This person will be able to work with her on her challenge areas and get her to a better mind space.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1320 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 09, 2023

Question by AVINASH - Mar 08, 2023Hindi

Relationship

My daughter is facing anxiety for the past three months. There are many thoughts running in her mind and due to that she is unable to concentrate on anything and she is contstatly crying/wailing ?how to cure her?

Ans: Dear Avinash,
I hear you. It's hard to watch one's own child go through any pain or anguish. Since I am not aware of how old your daughter is, I may not be able to give you pointed suggestions but can generally suggest here.
Exams, peer pressure, bullying, sudden changes at home/school/college, relocating homes, changing schools, death or loss of a loved one...anything can cause anxiety or trigger anxiety.
If your daughter is school/college going, find out if something has happened there for her to feel this anxiety.
A change of scene might help but if the root of the problem is not eliminated, then the anxiety is here to stay.
Ensure that she gets a lot of playtime (if she is that age) OR she indulges in sports or physical activity (if she's much older)...the body displaces and releases stress with a lot of movement. Nature, music, having a supportive environment at home can go a long way in easing the symptoms related to anxiety.
Also, talk to her a lot to ensure her that whatever is causing her to feel anxious, will most certainly pass.
If the symptoms persist, kindly consult with an expert or a professional who can deal with these cases.

All the best!

Aruna Agarwal |78 Answers |Ask -Follow

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 22, 2023

Question by Jyotibrata - Apr 11, 2023Hindi

Health

My daughter is 14 years old, At this teen age she is addicted to mobile and using instagram a lot. She is quite narcissist and uploads a lot of photos and do make senior male friends. She is not at all focussing in studies. even she scored low marks in Std-IX for which she had to repeat class-iX and changed the school. I had already consulted a psychiatric and she is under medication. Even I got a pet (rabbit) for her . But still she is not reducing mobile consumption and not going school regularly in new school. Pl guide me what to do.

Ans: I can give you some pointers to check about the addiction to screen time.
1. How much time she is on mobile in the entire day.
2. Why is she liking the attention of senior male friends? ( How much time are we able to spend time with her - Are we always talking about working on herself?) The pressure on you can be tremendous but 3.I will suggest you to be with your child and be along with her and make her feel comfortable with you by being non judgemental for some time till she pairs up with you.
It's going to help her confide in you rather than friends. These type of children who need attention being their major function should not be given too much alone time. Replace the gadget with some thing which is equally reinforcing for her .
It can start gradually rather than doing too much and then not being able to meet your targets.
Can start with only 2 hours a day when you can spend quality time with her.

Anu Krishna |1320 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi

Relationship

My 24 yr old daughter is very anxious about her career. She wants power, money, highest post. So that she is recognised by everybody in the society. As she is from Arts background for which she is regretting. And blaming parents that they have not guided her properly. If she would have taken science stream she might be doctor or engineer by which she can earn money more. Now she is preparing for bank exam. She is doing hard work. But she has closed herself in her room, windows are shut. Not interacting with parents or guests. She is taking medicine stalopam 15 and taken help of psychologist for three sitting which is incomplete. Now she is not willing to go to psychologist because psychologist has not listened to her empathically ( her version). We parents helpless donot know what is our next step. Please can you help me in this regard. Please send reply in my email if possible.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 24, if she is still looking for validation from the external world to create her identity, she's again setting herself up for failure. If she still thinks that money, name and fame is what is going to earn her recognition from the society, she really needs a course that will change her mindset.
As parents, kindly call out such behavior that is messing with her mind. Talk therapy or advice from home isn't going to help anymore...she hasn't had much exposure of what the outside world is like...
Every stream of education brings with it many opportunities that can be explored!
My suggestion would be for her to be part of activities, communities and the like where she will be able to interact with different people from various backgrounds...Even volunteering opportunities can give good exposure...
Now, she may not be willing to do this as she finds comfort in what she is doing by shutting herself from the outside world...again 'CALL OUT' this behavior and that you as parents don't support her self-pity tirade. Also, as parents you can become part of any community or volunteering opportunity that 'shows' her that her parents are not just preaching to her but actually living it...
Just to reiterate, do not feel sorry for her; she will thrive on that sympathy...if you want to see a change in her, then it's time to shake things up so she knows that her parents mean business...remember, she is an adult...so, treat her as one!

Archana Deshpande |75 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi

Career

Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.

Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

Latest Questions

Anu Krishna |1320 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Dr Chandrakant Lahariya |156 Answers |Ask -Follow

Diabetologist, Consultant Physician, Vaccine Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Question by aman - Nov 21, 2024Hindi

Health

Hi, Sir My fasting sugar is 298 and after fasting 1.5hr its 326.. What to do.. Please give ur advice.. Don't Know how this happened.

Ans: These readings are indicative that you have diabetes. It will be useful to know how you developed diabetes but that is secondary. Key is you need to start on medications immediately.

Diabetes control require lifestyle modifications in terms of weight reduction, atleast 30 min of moderate intensity physical activity five days of week or more. Dietary modifications and possibly low calories diet.

In addition, you would need anti diabetic medications in consultation with a physician.

Best,
Dr Chandrakant Lahariya
Centre for Health: The Specialty Practice
Safdarjung Enclave, New Delhi

Dr Chandrakant Lahariya |156 Answers |Ask -Follow

Diabetologist, Consultant Physician, Vaccine Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi

Health

Hello i am 53 old last month my HbA1c 63 mmol /mol, what should i do in food items which its includes or excludes . how much excercise or walking, or any other best idea for control the sugar.

Ans: You have diabetes and this require lifestyle modifications in terms of weight reduction, atleast 30 min of moderate inetsnity physical activity five days of week or more. Dietary modifications and possibly low calories diet.

In addition, you would need anti diabetic medications in consultation with a physician.

Best,
Dr Chandrakant Lahariya
Centre for Health: The Specialty Practice
Safdarjung Enclave, New Delhi

Anu Krishna |1320 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Question by Sukhvinder - Nov 16, 2024Hindi

Relationship

My wife has a younger sister who is staying with her parents along with one son aged 12 years . She has troubled marriage from Day 1 though she is not divorced. She is non working. My In-laws are well off with Pension /rental income closing to 1.25 lacs/month from 3 properties worth 5.5 cr . Since sister in law is non -working , I have strong fear and hint that my in laws will give the major portion of property to her so as to give her sustainable rental income while my wife might get only 20% of property share . My wife has soft corner towards her sister and parents and i know she wont utter a word for this. I need to understand how can the interests of my wife be safeguarded with equal distribution of rights and property . Am also skeptical of my father in law putting legal document too with an arrangement as I mentioned above.

Ans: Dear Sukhviner,
Why should you have a strong fear? Is the money yours? Have you earned it? If your wife herself is not bothered by it, what makes you worry?
What you earn through your effort belongs to you and what is given to you is a bonus. So, do not bank much on that bonus as you have no control over it. Focus on your work and put in efforts in it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Milind Vadjikar |680 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi

Money

Epfo me father name mismatch hai kaisa hoga dahi

Ans: Hello;

To correct a mismatch in your father's name in your EPF account, you may;

1. Update online
Go to the "Manage" section in EPF portal, and update your father's name. Make sure the name matches with that in your Aadhar card. This request will have to be validated by your employer.

2. Submit a joint declaration
Submit a joint declaration with your employer to the Regional PF Commissioner. You will need to include valid supporting documents.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |680 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Question by guru - Nov 16, 2024Hindi

Money

I have worked in 2 company's, at 1 company they remitted eps even though am not eligible for pension scheme becouse of higher wages, second company also contributed to eps, by submitting nesesary documents i withdrawn both epf and eps amount from both the accounts, now the problem is, if I started a new job in a company how can I approach the company to not contribute on eps, what if contribution was made again because of eps account? Please help me ????

Ans: Hello;

You can talk to the HR team of your new employer and discuss these aspects. Submit a written request over mail/letter, if need be.

Check with you peers in the new establishment.

Such errors are not expected from professional organisations.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |680 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Question by K - Oct 07, 2024Hindi

Money

My details are not correct in my uan when I am trying to activate my uan it shows details are mismatched with aadhar...I need to recorrect it but my previous employer was not responding for the joint declaration form.....what i have to do now sir

Ans: Hello;

Get it corrected vide joint declaration through your current employer.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |680 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2024Hindi

Money

Am 47 with a corpus of 5 crores spread across PF, NPS, PPF and Equity MF. Approximately 50% in MF and rest in debt instruments. Can I retire now considering a life expectancy of around 90 years. If I can retire how should I plan for my cash flow to provide for 12 lacs per year ? Flat is paid for and future expenses for the kids are included in this, future education also is a seperate corpus of fifty lacs additional planned for. Please advise.

Ans: Hello;
What is the extent of future expenses for kids included in the retirement corpus of 5 Cr?

Kindly clarify so as to advise suitably.

Thanks;

Milind Vadjikar |680 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Question by AV - Nov 21, 2024Hindi

Money

Sir, we are 60+, my husband retired from IAF 15 years tenure, at present we get pension and rent our gross income is 12 l per annum. We live in rented accomadation. We have not finished our children marriage. Son 33 daughter 26. We don't have any other savings. Please guide us.

Ans: Hello;

If you begin with a monthly sip of 30 K in a combination of large cap fund and balanced advantage fund (50:50) then you may expect a corpus of,
25 L after 5 years
48 L after 8 years and
70 L after 10 years.

A return of 12% is considered.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

Milind Vadjikar |680 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Question by Rakesh - Nov 21, 2024Hindi

Money

Sir I want to invest in mutual fund but I m confuse....what kind of fund I have to invest

Ans: Hello;

You should seek advice from a mutual fund distributor/certified financial planner to guide you to the most appropriate funds suited to you.

Happy Investing;

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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