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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2024

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Suman Question by Suman on Dec 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Sir I know. My wife too know this and she is too supporting me to come out. But I madly love her. I tried to discontinue all contact many times but every time she tells u are my best friend...bla bla. She told me that she has been physical with 3 college friend and 2 colleagues of her and her husband. For her husband promotion, she slept with his boss too. Inspite of knowing all these, I love her. I had not been in any physical relationship with her.tried everything including meditation.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad you came clean to your wife and she is helping you come out of this mess. I am sure you know this, but still, I'd like to point out that you are a lucky man to have a partner such as your wife. Focus on that.

You might be in love but you are also married and that makes your love unethical. And meditation does not help in all things, and it's a tough feat to achieve. I suggest you see a marriage counselor or seek therapy yourself. There's no shame in seeking help. You left your concerns and questions here for me, and that's seeking help too. That is a good start. Now I recommend you see a professional who can help you with structured guidance. Before your marriage falls to pieces, I highly recommend taking proactive steps. Sometimes we can't do it alone and that's when licensed therapists come in. Please think about seeing one.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

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Relationship
HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.
Ans: Dear PP,

If life were that simple enough, why would we be facing challenges at all?

You think if she had loved you, none of this would have happened. You choose to see it from your point of view which is understandable.

What if you take the effort to find out what made her lose interest in you and the marriage?

Women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex. It can be enveloped in emotions and when she is going through an emotionally challenging time (with your mother), it might have been hard for her to be physically close with you.

Did you consider ever resolving the situation between them?

Did you ever ask your wife: “What can I do to help your situation?”

Did you ever find out from her what made her distant from you?

It may sound harsh, but we are talking about much water under the bridge.

If you go on to blame her for cheating on you, when you could and you didn’t, well, it’s not a string place to start if you want to save your marriage.

Do you both want to reconcile and rebuild the marriage?

Communicate, as that’s something that has broken down between the two of you.

It takes two to build a marriage and two to break one. So, time to reflect and look ahead as to what can be done based on what the two of you choose to do.

As far as you not being able to reconcile with the thoughts of her being involved with another man, I suggest before you approach your wife to remedy the situation, kindly settle this thought else tempers are going to fly and things will go from bad to worse. So BREATHE and NOW sit calmly to reflect and act.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Listen
Relationship
HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.
Ans: Dear PP,

If life were that simple enough, why would we be facing challenges at all?

You think if she had loved you, none of this would have happened. You choose to see it from your point of view which is understandable.

What if you take the effort to find out what made her lose interest in you and the marriage?

Women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex. It can be enveloped in emotions and when she is going through an emotionally challenging time (with your mother), it might have been hard for her to be physically close with you.

Did you consider ever resolving the situation between them?

Did you ever ask your wife: “What can I do to help your situation?”

Did you ever find out from her what made her distant from you?

It may sound harsh, but we are talking about much water under the bridge.

If you go on to blame her for cheating on you, when you could and you didn’t, well, it’s not a string place to start if you want to save your marriage.

Do you both want to reconcile and rebuild the marriage?

Communicate, as that’s something that has broken down between the two of you.

It takes two to build a marriage and two to break one. So, time to reflect and look ahead as to what can be done based on what the two of you choose to do.

As far as you not being able to reconcile with the thoughts of her being involved with another man, I suggest before you approach your wife to remedy the situation, kindly settle this thought else tempers are going to fly and things will go from bad to worse. So BREATHE and NOW sit calmly to reflect and act.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2026Hindi
Money
I’m a 35-year-old salaried professional aiming to build a long-term investment portfolio over the next 10 years, with a monthly investment budget of around Rs 15,000. I'm tempted to buy silver as an investment because silver prices today (Rs 330 per gram) look much more 'affordable' than gold prices today approx 15000 per gram). But I also know that price per gram doesn’t reflect actual returns when comparing silver vs gold investment performance. Is viewing silver as a cheaper investment option a mental trap for small investors, or does investing in silver genuinely offer better upside potential in the long run?
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. You are questioning the price tag, not getting carried away by it. This itself shows maturity and long-term thinking. Many investors do not pause at this stage. You deserve appreciation for that clarity.

» Price per gram versus wealth creation reality
– Seeing silver at Rs 330 per gram and gold at around Rs 15,000 per gram creates a strong emotional pull
– Our mind feels silver is “cheap” and gold is “expensive”
– This is a mental shortcut, not an investment logic
– Wealth grows by percentage return over time, not by how many grams we can buy
– One gram at Rs 100 that grows slowly can underperform one gram at Rs 10,000 that grows steadily

» Why silver looks attractive but behaves differently
– Silver has a dual role: precious metal and industrial metal
– Industrial demand makes silver prices volatile and cyclical
– When the economy slows, silver demand can fall sharply
– This leads to long periods of price stagnation
– For a salaried professional with monthly investing, such swings can test patience

» Gold and silver are not growth assets
– Both gold and silver do not create earnings or cash flow
– Their value depends mainly on demand, inflation fear, and currency movement
– Over long periods, they protect purchasing power but rarely multiply wealth
– Expecting strong upside from silver over 10 years is usually unrealistic
– This is especially true when the goal is disciplined monthly investing

» Is silver a mental trap for small investors
– Yes, for many investors it is
– “I can buy more grams” gives psychological comfort
– But comfort does not equal better returns
– Silver often underperforms expectations when held for long durations
– Storage cost, purity issues, and liquidity challenges further reduce actual benefit

» Does silver have any role at all
– Silver can be used as a small diversification tool
– It should never be the core of a long-term portfolio
– Allocation should be limited and purpose-driven
– Treat it as a hedge, not a growth engine
– Overexposure can slow overall portfolio progress

» Better alignment with your 10-year goal
– At age 35, your biggest strength is time
– Regular monthly investing suits growth-oriented assets
– Actively managed equity mutual funds suit this phase well
– Active fund managers can adapt to market changes and protect downside
– This flexibility matters more than metal price movements

» Why market-linked metal products are not ideal substitutes
– They closely track metal prices without adding value
– No active decision-making or downside control
– Returns depend only on price cycles
– This makes long-term compounding weak
– Actively managed funds aim to grow wealth, not just track prices

» Risk, emotion, and discipline
– Silver prices can move sharply up and down
– Such movement can tempt investors to time the market
– Timing mistakes hurt long-term results
– Simple, steady investing works better than reacting to metal prices
– Discipline matters more than affordability

» Tax and liquidity awareness
– Physical silver has making charges and selling spreads
– Tax treatment can reduce post-tax returns
– Liquidity is not always smooth during urgent needs
– These frictions are often ignored at the buying stage

» 360-degree portfolio thinking
– Your Rs 15,000 monthly budget is a powerful habit
– Focus on assets that reward time and consistency
– Use metals only as support, not as drivers
– Growth assets should do the heavy lifting
– Review allocation periodically with a Certified Financial Planner

» Final Insights
– Silver looking affordable is largely a mental illusion
– Long-term wealth is built by return quality, not unit price
– Silver does not offer reliable long-term upside for salaried investors
– Limited exposure is fine, dependency is not
– Staying focused on growth-oriented investing will serve your 10-year goal far better

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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