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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vikram Question by Vikram on Apr 29, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My wife has an extreme fear of lizards and also all reptiles. She is completely panicked if a lizard enters the house and simply cannot function. Please advise how she can overcome this fear.

Ans: Dear Vikram,
Has this fear something new or has it been from a young age?

Whichever it is, the incident is being replayed over and over again when she sees a lizard. It means that, that incident has to ease in the mind for a better reaction/response when she sees a lizard.
The easiest way is to 'DULL' out that memory and make it vanish. It's a very effective way to train the mind to literally erase that memory without replacing it with anything.

It's a phobia and if you feel it requires an expert, seek one...for an expert who can deal with anxiety related to a phobia, it will be a matter of minutes to help your wife.

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu. I have a fear of snakes however can see them from a distance. There are lots of snakes in my native place and have heard true stories about death of people/ injuries due to snake bites which makes me not to visit my native place. I have seen videos of my friends who have touched snakes and even held snakes around their necks (although with support from the snake park/zoo team) and it makes me feel that they are very brave and I am not. Can you assist me in overcoming this fear?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why would you even want to see snakes from a distance? The fear of snakes is real and I can only imagine how people throw them around their necks and feel joy. But no offence to anyone who loves snakes.

To get rid of your phobia/fear of snakes, ask yourself:
1. Do I live in an area that is dominated by snakes?
2. Am I going to specifically go around searching for snakes to scare me?
3. How often do I visit my native place to keep fearing them everyday?
4. If I do visit my native place, how can I keep myself safe?

These answers will help you find some relief as in it gives you a hold of your thoughts. You also can get into action mode in case, the situation arises. Fears feel real inside the mind, but to challenge them and overcome them is the only way to get past them. Is having the snake around your neck some kind of achievement? Then, you need to someday just go and experience it. I know of people who for eliminating their fears, simply go and DO what scares them in the first place.
If this is not important, then reassure yourself that you live in a safe place and that humans outnumber snakes in that place and that you know what to do when you spot one. Gives you a feeling of reassured control. Hope this helps. But if there is a phobia that is making you lose sleep or appetite, kindly see a professional who works on phobias and it will help you.

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

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Dear Sir, thank you for taking time. My daughter is 10 year old. She is too scared of death - she imagines that parents may die early or she may die. She starts crying silently whenever such a thought comes. What would be the best way to make her comfortable and stop her worries? She lost her grand mother (my MIL) when she was 5 whom she was very attached to. She did cry that day but the fear seems to be there for her ever since. We have made sure she does not have lot of screen time and we don't show her movies/cartoons that are not suitable for her age.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with fear and anxiety related to death. It's understandable that she would be scared, especially if she has experienced the loss of a loved one at a young age.

Here are some suggestions for ways to help your daughter feel more comfortable and ease her worries:

Listen and validate her feelings: It's important to let your daughter know that it's okay to feel scared and worried. Listen to her concerns and validate her feelings by acknowledging them. You can say things like "I understand that you're feeling scared right now, and it's okay to feel that way."

Reassure her: Let your daughter know that you and her other loved ones are doing everything you can to stay healthy and safe. You can also reassure her that most people live long, healthy lives and that it's unlikely that anything bad will happen to her or her family members anytime soon.

Teach her coping skills: You can help your daughter learn coping skills to manage her anxiety. For example, you can teach her deep breathing exercises, visualization techniques, or mindfulness practices. You can also encourage her to engage in activities that she enjoys and that help her feel calm and relaxed, such as reading, drawing, or playing outside.

Seek professional help: If your daughter's anxiety persists and is interfering with her daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A mental health professional who specializes in working with children can help your daughter develop coping skills and work through her fears in a safe and supportive environment.

Remember that it's important to be patient and understanding with your daughter as she works through her fears. With your support and guidance, she can learn to manage her anxiety and feel more comfortable and secure.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

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Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1841 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

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