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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vikram Question by Vikram on Apr 29, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My wife has an extreme fear of lizards and also all reptiles. She is completely panicked if a lizard enters the house and simply cannot function. Please advise how she can overcome this fear.

Ans: Dear Vikram,
Has this fear something new or has it been from a young age?

Whichever it is, the incident is being replayed over and over again when she sees a lizard. It means that, that incident has to ease in the mind for a better reaction/response when she sees a lizard.
The easiest way is to 'DULL' out that memory and make it vanish. It's a very effective way to train the mind to literally erase that memory without replacing it with anything.

It's a phobia and if you feel it requires an expert, seek one...for an expert who can deal with anxiety related to a phobia, it will be a matter of minutes to help your wife.

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu. I have a fear of snakes however can see them from a distance. There are lots of snakes in my native place and have heard true stories about death of people/ injuries due to snake bites which makes me not to visit my native place. I have seen videos of my friends who have touched snakes and even held snakes around their necks (although with support from the snake park/zoo team) and it makes me feel that they are very brave and I am not. Can you assist me in overcoming this fear?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why would you even want to see snakes from a distance? The fear of snakes is real and I can only imagine how people throw them around their necks and feel joy. But no offence to anyone who loves snakes.

To get rid of your phobia/fear of snakes, ask yourself:
1. Do I live in an area that is dominated by snakes?
2. Am I going to specifically go around searching for snakes to scare me?
3. How often do I visit my native place to keep fearing them everyday?
4. If I do visit my native place, how can I keep myself safe?

These answers will help you find some relief as in it gives you a hold of your thoughts. You also can get into action mode in case, the situation arises. Fears feel real inside the mind, but to challenge them and overcome them is the only way to get past them. Is having the snake around your neck some kind of achievement? Then, you need to someday just go and experience it. I know of people who for eliminating their fears, simply go and DO what scares them in the first place.
If this is not important, then reassure yourself that you live in a safe place and that humans outnumber snakes in that place and that you know what to do when you spot one. Gives you a feeling of reassured control. Hope this helps. But if there is a phobia that is making you lose sleep or appetite, kindly see a professional who works on phobias and it will help you.

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

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Relationship
Dear Sir, thank you for taking time. My daughter is 10 year old. She is too scared of death - she imagines that parents may die early or she may die. She starts crying silently whenever such a thought comes. What would be the best way to make her comfortable and stop her worries? She lost her grand mother (my MIL) when she was 5 whom she was very attached to. She did cry that day but the fear seems to be there for her ever since. We have made sure she does not have lot of screen time and we don't show her movies/cartoons that are not suitable for her age.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with fear and anxiety related to death. It's understandable that she would be scared, especially if she has experienced the loss of a loved one at a young age.

Here are some suggestions for ways to help your daughter feel more comfortable and ease her worries:

Listen and validate her feelings: It's important to let your daughter know that it's okay to feel scared and worried. Listen to her concerns and validate her feelings by acknowledging them. You can say things like "I understand that you're feeling scared right now, and it's okay to feel that way."

Reassure her: Let your daughter know that you and her other loved ones are doing everything you can to stay healthy and safe. You can also reassure her that most people live long, healthy lives and that it's unlikely that anything bad will happen to her or her family members anytime soon.

Teach her coping skills: You can help your daughter learn coping skills to manage her anxiety. For example, you can teach her deep breathing exercises, visualization techniques, or mindfulness practices. You can also encourage her to engage in activities that she enjoys and that help her feel calm and relaxed, such as reading, drawing, or playing outside.

Seek professional help: If your daughter's anxiety persists and is interfering with her daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A mental health professional who specializes in working with children can help your daughter develop coping skills and work through her fears in a safe and supportive environment.

Remember that it's important to be patient and understanding with your daughter as she works through her fears. With your support and guidance, she can learn to manage her anxiety and feel more comfortable and secure.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

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Relationship
Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10924 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2025

Money
Hi Sir, I started a SIP of 3k from 3months investing in Nipon India Small Cap fund. I started investing via \xis bank mobile app. Please suggest me if thats the safe way to do through bank app. And I am willing to start another SIP of 3k per month. Planning to do it on groww app. Please suggest some good SIP plans and guide me on how good and safe to start via groww app.
Ans: I appreciate your early step into disciplined investing.
Starting SIPs shows long-term thinking.
Beginning small builds confidence and learning.
Your willingness to ask questions is healthy.

» Your Current SIP Action Review
– You started SIP of Rs 3,000 monthly.
– SIP duration is three months.
– Investment is through a bank mobile app.

This shows good initiative.
Early habits shape future wealth.

» Understanding Your Chosen Fund Category
– The fund belongs to small-sized companies category.
– Such funds are high risk.
– Such funds give high volatility.

Returns can be uneven yearly.
Patience is very important here.

» Suitability Of Small Company Funds
– Small companies grow faster sometimes.
– They also fall harder during corrections.
– Not suitable as first-only investment.

Exposure should be limited initially.
Balance is essential.

» Starting Early
– You started without waiting for perfection.
– Many delay investing unnecessarily.
– Action matters more than perfection.

This mindset helps long-term success.

» Risk Awareness Is Necessary
– Small company funds fluctuate sharply.
– Short-term losses are common.
– Emotional control is required.

Three months is too short to judge.
Time horizon should be long.

» Minimum Suggested Time Horizon
– Such funds need at least seven years.
– Shorter periods cause disappointment.
– SIP helps reduce timing risk.

Consistency matters more than returns initially.

» Bank App As Investment Platform
– Bank apps are generally safe.
– Transactions are regulated.
– Holdings are stored with registrars.

Platform safety is not the main risk.
Investment choice matters more.

» Limitations Of Bank Apps
– Limited guidance provided.
– Product pushing is common.
– Advice is not personalised.

Banks focus on convenience.
Planning depth is usually missing.

» Bank Staff Support Limitations
– Staff change frequently.
– Knowledge levels vary.
– Long-term accountability is absent.

This affects continuity of advice.

» Safety Of Investments Versus Platform
– Funds are held in your PAN.
– Platform failure does not erase investments.
– Units remain safe with fund house.

So platform safety fear is minimal.
Decision quality matters more.

» Planning Another SIP Thought
– You want another Rs 3,000 SIP.
– Total SIP becomes Rs 6,000 monthly.

This is positive growth behaviour.
But structure needs correction.

» Platform Comparison Perspective
– You plan using another app.
– Such apps promote self investing.
– Guidance quality is limited.

Ease should not replace planning.

» Direct Platform Reality Check
– Such apps promote direct plans.
– Expense difference looks attractive.
– But hidden costs exist.

Cost is not only expense ratio.
Mistakes cost more.

» Disadvantages Of Direct Plans
– No personalised advice.
– No behaviour guidance during falls.
– No portfolio review support.

Investors act emotionally without guidance.
This hurts returns badly.

» Decision Errors In Direct Investing
– Panic selling during market falls.
– Overconfidence during rallies.
– Frequent fund switching.

These mistakes destroy compounding.
They are very common.

» Lack Of Accountability In Apps
– Apps do not call you.
– Apps do not stop wrong actions.
– Responsibility lies fully on investor.

This is risky for beginners.

» Why Regular Plans Add Value
– Guidance helps discipline.
– Asset allocation stays balanced.
– Behavioural mistakes reduce.

Value is beyond commission.
Support matters during volatility.

» Role Of MFD With CFP Credential
– Certified Financial Planner gives structure.
– Advice aligns with goals.
– Long-term handholding exists.

This improves investment experience.
Returns become smoother.

» Cost Versus Value Perspective
– Direct plans save small percentage.
– Wrong decisions lose big percentages.

Net outcome matters more.
Peace of mind matters too.

» Your Current Portfolio Concentration Risk
– Only one equity category exposure exists.
– Risk is concentrated.
– Diversification is missing.

This increases volatility risk.
Balance is needed urgently.

» Importance Of Diversification
– Different funds behave differently.
– Market cycles impact unevenly.
– Balance reduces shock.

Diversification improves consistency.

» Ideal SIP Structure For Beginners
– One aggressive component.
– One stable growth component.
– One flexible allocation component.

This spreads risk evenly.
Comfort increases automatically.

» Why Avoid Multiple Apps
– Tracking becomes confusing.
– Discipline weakens.
– Reviews become difficult.

One guided platform is better.
Simplicity improves adherence.

» Data Security Perspective
– Apps are regulated.
– Data security standards exist.
– Risk is minimal.

But advice quality remains missing.

» Behaviour During Market Corrections
– Small company funds fall sharply.
– Beginners panic easily.
– SIP stoppage becomes tempting.

Guidance prevents wrong reactions.

» Emotional Support Value
– Markets test patience.
– Fear appears suddenly.
– Someone must guide.

Apps cannot replace humans here.

» Why Starting With Only Small Companies Is Risky
– Volatility is high.
– Returns are uneven.
– Confidence may break early.

Balanced start builds trust.

» Gradual Exposure Approach
– Start with core stability.
– Add aggression slowly.
– Increase risk with experience.

This improves journey comfort.

» SIP Amount Increase Strategy
– Rs 6,000 is fine initially.
– Increase annually with income growth.
– Discipline matters more than amount.

Time creates wealth here.

» Tax Awareness Brief
– Equity funds tax applies on selling.
– Long-term gains have limits.
– Short-term gains are taxed higher.

Holding longer improves efficiency.

» Avoid Frequent Changes
– Switching funds harms compounding.
– Costs increase silently.
– Discipline reduces regret.

Stick to strategy firmly.

» Monitoring Frequency
– Review once a year.
– Avoid monthly checking.
– Noise causes confusion.

Long-term vision matters.

» Avoid Social Media Influence
– Tips are often misleading.
– Past returns are highlighted.
– Risk is hidden.

Structured advice avoids traps.

» Role Of Goal Mapping
– Define why you invest.
– Time horizon matters.
– Risk choice depends on goals.

Without goals, investing feels stressful.

» Emergency Fund Reminder
– Keep emergency money separate.
– Do not mix with SIPs.
– Liquidity is essential.

This prevents SIP stoppage.

» Insurance And Protection Check
– Health cover should be adequate.
– Life cover matters if dependents exist.

Protection supports investment continuity.

» Long-Term Wealth Mindset
– Wealth grows slowly.
– Patience beats intelligence.
– Process beats prediction.

Consistency wins always.

» Common Beginner Mistakes To Avoid
– Chasing last year returns.
– Using too many apps.
– Ignoring allocation balance.

Awareness saves money.

» How A CFP Helps In SIP Planning
– Designs suitable allocation.
– Reviews yearly changes.
– Guides during volatility.

This partnership adds value.

» Confidence Building Perspective
– You already started investing.
– You are learning actively.
– Improvement is natural.

This journey will get smoother.

» Platform Safety Final View
– Bank app is safe.
– App based platforms are safe.
– Investment safety lies with fund house.

Decision quality matters more.

» Final Insights
– Starting SIP is a good step.
– Small company exposure is risky alone.
– Diversification is necessary now.
– Avoid self-direct platforms initially.
– Regular plans with CFP guidance add value.
– Consistency and discipline build wealth.

You are on the right path.
Correct structure will improve outcomes.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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