Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 28, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Anu. I have a fear of snakes however can see them from a distance. There are lots of snakes in my native place and have heard true stories about death of people/ injuries due to snake bites which makes me not to visit my native place. I have seen videos of my friends who have touched snakes and even held snakes around their necks (although with support from the snake park/zoo team) and it makes me feel that they are very brave and I am not. Can you assist me in overcoming this fear?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why would you even want to see snakes from a distance? The fear of snakes is real and I can only imagine how people throw them around their necks and feel joy. But no offence to anyone who loves snakes.

To get rid of your phobia/fear of snakes, ask yourself:
1. Do I live in an area that is dominated by snakes?
2. Am I going to specifically go around searching for snakes to scare me?
3. How often do I visit my native place to keep fearing them everyday?
4. If I do visit my native place, how can I keep myself safe?

These answers will help you find some relief as in it gives you a hold of your thoughts. You also can get into action mode in case, the situation arises. Fears feel real inside the mind, but to challenge them and overcome them is the only way to get past them. Is having the snake around your neck some kind of achievement? Then, you need to someday just go and experience it. I know of people who for eliminating their fears, simply go and DO what scares them in the first place.
If this is not important, then reassure yourself that you live in a safe place and that humans outnumber snakes in that place and that you know what to do when you spot one. Gives you a feeling of reassured control. Hope this helps. But if there is a phobia that is making you lose sleep or appetite, kindly see a professional who works on phobias and it will help you.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2023

Listen
Relationship
How to overcome fear in life
Ans: Overcoming fear is a personal and gradual process, but here are some strategies that can help:

Identify and acknowledge your fears: The first step in overcoming fear is to identify what you're afraid of and acknowledge its presence in your life. Take the time to reflect on the specific fears that hold you back and recognize that they are valid emotions.

Understand the root cause: Try to understand the underlying reasons behind your fears. Sometimes fears stem from past experiences, trauma, or limiting beliefs. By gaining insight into the root causes, you can begin to address them more effectively.

Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. Often, fear arises from a lack of understanding or unfamiliarity. Educate yourself about the things you fear. Whether it's a specific phobia or a fear of the unknown, gathering information and learning more about the subject can help dispel irrational fears.

Take small steps: Overcoming fear doesn't mean completely eliminating it overnight. Start by taking small steps towards facing your fears. Break down the fear-inducing situations into smaller, more manageable tasks. Gradually exposing yourself to these situations can help build confidence and reduce fear over time.

Practice relaxation techniques: Fear can trigger physical and emotional responses, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness, can help you manage these symptoms and calm your mind.

Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support. Share your fears with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide encouragement, guidance, and a fresh perspective. Connecting with others who have faced similar fears can also be beneficial.

Challenge negative thoughts: Fear often accompanies negative thoughts and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by examining their validity and replacing them with more positive and empowering ones. Affirmations and positive self-talk can help reframe your mindset and reduce fear.

Embrace failure as a learning opportunity: Fear of failure can hold you back from taking risks or pursuing your goals. Remember that failure is a natural part of life and often leads to growth and learning. Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again.

Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each step you take in facing your fears and overcoming obstacles is progress worth recognizing. Celebrating your successes can boost your confidence and motivate you to continue moving forward.

Remember, overcoming fear takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if your fears are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |534 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Mam how can I take proactive steps n cope with the fear and how to overcome it
Ans: it's crucial to understand and address the root of your fear. Reflect on the specific behaviors or situations involving your father or uncle that trigger your anxiety. Journaling can be a valuable tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and gain insight into the nature of your fear. Recognizing these triggers is essential for developing a plan to manage them.

Developing coping strategies is the next step. Techniques like deep breathing and mindfulness can help you remain calm in stressful situations. When you start feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on your breathing—inhale slowly through your nose, hold briefly, and then exhale through your mouth. This practice can help ground you and reduce immediate anxiety.

Building a supportive network outside of your family can also provide significant relief. Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a counselor who can offer guidance and a safe space to express your feelings. Talking to someone you trust about your fears can help you gain perspective and reassurance.

It’s also important to gradually build your confidence in handling interactions with your family. Start by setting small, manageable boundaries and practicing assertiveness in low-stakes situations. This can help you develop the skills needed to address more challenging situations when they arise.

If addressing these fears directly with your family feels too daunting, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide strategies to manage your fear and work through any underlying issues. They can also assist in developing communication skills and coping mechanisms tailored to your specific needs.

Ultimately, facing your fears is about building resilience and self-awareness. By taking these proactive steps, you can gradually shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more in control and empowered in your interactions with your family. Remember, it’s a process, and being patient with yourself as you work through these challenges is key.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7948 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 12, 2025Hindi
Listen
I am 44 now. How much SIP should I do every month to have a sum of 3 crore at the age of 60?
Ans: To build a corpus of Rs. 3 crore by age 60, you need a well-structured investment plan. Below is a detailed breakdown to help you achieve your goal.

Understanding Your Investment Horizon
You are 44 years old now.
You have 16 years to invest.
A longer investment horizon helps in wealth creation through compounding.
Key Factors That Influence Your Goal
1. Expected Return on Investment
Investing in actively managed mutual funds can help grow wealth over time.
Historical data suggests equity funds deliver 12-15% CAGR over the long term.
Choosing the right funds is important for achieving consistent returns.
2. Monthly SIP Requirement
The amount you need to invest depends on the expected return.
Higher returns require a higher equity allocation in the early years.
Gradually shifting to safer funds helps protect your corpus closer to retirement.
How Much Should You Invest?

To accumulate Rs. 3 crore, your monthly SIP should be:
If returns are around 12% CAGR → Invest Rs. 52,000 per month
If returns are around 14% CAGR → Invest Rs. 42,500 per month

Best Investment Approach for You
1. Choose Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Avoid index funds as they only mirror market returns.
Actively managed funds outperform markets over the long term.
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps in selecting the best-performing funds.
2. Diversification for Stability
Invest across large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds.
Large-cap funds provide stability, while mid-cap and flexi-cap funds give growth.
This mix balances risk and returns effectively.
3. Adjust Your SIP Over Time
Start with an amount you are comfortable with.
Increase SIP by 10% every year for better wealth accumulation.
A gradual increase helps fight inflation and boost returns.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
1. Ignoring Fund Performance
Do not invest blindly without checking fund history.
Funds with a proven track record should be preferred.
A CFP can help in selecting funds with consistent returns.
2. Investing in Direct Mutual Funds Without Guidance
Direct funds seem attractive due to lower expense ratios.
However, they lack advisory support from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Regular funds ensure expert monitoring and better long-term returns.
3. Redeeming Investments Too Soon
Stay invested for the full 16-year period.
Early withdrawals disrupt compounding and reduce growth.
Invest only the money you won’t need in the short term.
Tax Considerations for Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds – LTCG (above Rs. 1.25 lakh) taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains (STCG) – Taxed at 20%.
Debt mutual funds – Gains taxed as per income tax slab.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimize tax liability.
What to Do as You Approach Retirement?
At age 55, start shifting funds from equity to hybrid and debt funds.
This reduces volatility and protects the accumulated corpus.
Keep some part in equity even after retirement for continued growth.
Final Insights
You need to invest Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 45,000 per month to reach Rs. 3 crore.
Stick to actively managed equity funds with a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds.
Increase SIP annually and stay invested for 16 years.
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps in fund selection and risk management.
By following this plan, you can achieve financial security and a stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2025Hindi
Listen
How accurate are routine gynecological check-ups in detecting cancer? Do you think women can opt for specialised screenings for certain types of cancers? Please advice.
Ans: A gynecological examination, while a part of routine cancer screening, is not highly accurate on its own for detecting most cancers, particularly in early stages; a pelvic exam is particularly poor at detecting ovarian cancer, and a Pap smear is primarily used for cervical cancer screening, meaning further tests like biopsies are usually needed for definitive diagnosis of most gynecological cancers.
Certain screening test are available to rule out cancers:
For women, the most common screening tests to rule out cancer include mammograms for breast cancer, Pap smears (along with HPV tests) for cervical cancer, and regular pelvic exams.
Mammograms:
An X-ray of the breast that can detect cancerous lumps early when they are easier to treat.
Pap smear:
A test that examines cells collected from the cervix to identify abnormal cell changes that could develop into cervical cancer. Me
HPV test:
Detects the human papillomavirus (HPV) which is a major risk factor for cervical cancer.
Co-Test: HPV WITH DNA
Endometrial cancer
Endometrial cancer often presents early with vaginal bleeding after menopause. Routine transvaginal ultrasound can be done.
IF NEEDED endometrial biopsy done and sent for testing for grading the endometrial cancer.
Ovarian cancer
A CA-125 blood test can indicate high levels of a biomarker that may be a sign of ovarian cancer along with other tumor markers CEA, LDH, AFP, ca19.9 Roma index
If needed MRI can be done to detect the extent of spread.
Self-breast examination
Once a month post menses can help patient to detect sny lump in breast or axilla or any nipple changes.
These screening methods help in early diagnoses n treatment of cancers in early stage.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2025Hindi
Listen
Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2025Hindi
Listen
Health
I am 45 years old with a 12 year old daughter. What are the early signs of gynecological cancers, such as cervical or ovarian cancer, that women may overlook? Can early detection help improve survival rates?
Ans: Early signs of ovarian, cervical and breast cancer
1). OVARIAN CANCER:
Bloating
Abdominal pain cramps and discomfort
Pelvic pain
Change in bowel habits
Increase frequency of urination or dysuria
Fatigue
Irregular bleeding
Weight loss
CERVICAL CANCER:
Abnormal continuos vaginal discharge
vaginal bleeding after sex.
vaginal bleeding after menopause.
vaginal bleeding between periods or periods that are heavier or longer than normal.
vaginal discharge that is watery and has a strong odor or that contains blood.
pelvic pain or pain during sex.
BREAST CANCER
Lump in breast
Lump in axilla
Redness on lump if breast
Abnormal venous dilation on breast
Orange peel appearance of breast skin
Abnormal or bloody discharge of nipples
Pap smears, mammograms and colonoscopies all offer a way to detect cancer early —
The 2 tests used most often (in addition to a complete pelvic exam) to screen for ovarian cancer are transvaginal ultrasound (TVUS) and the CA-125 blood test.
Regular gynecological exams, including Pap smears and HPV tests, are used to help screen for cervical cancer.
Mammograms
Self-breast examination helps in early detection of breast cancer.
Yes, early detection of ovarian, cervical, and breast cancers significantly improves survival rates, as cancers caught in their early stages are more treatable and have a much higher chance of successful treatment compared to when diagnosed at later stages; this is why regular screening for these cancers is strongly recommended.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1008 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 38 year old F,working in a PSU and with my husband(41 years) we have take home salary of 2.5 lacs per month. current assets: residential flat 65 lacs 1bhk flat 18 lacs liabilities: emi-51000 p.m home loan 30000(remaining tenure 10 years) 1bhk loan 10000(remaining tenure 10 years) car loan 11000(remaining tenure 3.5 years) total loan outstanding-33.5 lacs investments(TOTAL) MF(1 FLEXICAP,1 MID CAP,1 ELSS) 28000 P.M MF BALANCE TILL DATE 8 Lacs PF 38 LACS PF CONTRIBUTION P.M 32000 P.M NPS YEARLY 50000 NPS balance till date 250000 LIC CONTRIBUTION COMPLETED FOR 15 YEARS SUM ASSURED 5 LACS (TO BE MATURED ON 2035) POST OFFICE LIFE INSURANCE(STARTED ON APR 2014) 2750 P.M (TO BE MATURED ON 2041) PPF 2 Lacs gold ornaments 21 lacs (approx) term insurance of 1 cr taken by my husband mediclaim 20 lacs Monthly Fixed expenses are around 2lacs including education expenses for 2 boys(age 11 & 2 years), taking care of parents,medical bills. We cannot accumulate any emergency funds at all and there is no liquid cash in hand at the end of every month. Please guide whether we are saving enough for our future and kids.
Ans: Hello;

A quick glance on your asset build up indicates major flaws:

1. As usual emphasis on inefficient lic/endowment policies as investment.

2. If you want to invest in gold as an asset class then SGB, ETF, gold funds are better ways.

Buying gold jewellery is not a problem but then it should not be counted as an asset but just an ornamental/fashion value.

I am fully aware about the emotional attachment ladies have towards their jewellery so it becomes difficult to liquidate.

Also if investment in gold as an asset class is the objective then it is redundant to pay making charges and GST on the same. Not applicable to gold etfs/funds and SGBs.

You have to save more for higher education of your kids considering burgeoning inflation in the education sector which is not captured in WPI or CPI index.

EPF, Mutual funds and NPS should have your highest allocations to achieve your goals.

Sell the one bhk if possible and reinvest sale proceeds in balanced advantage or multi asset allocation funds for future of your kids.

Increase NPS allocation substantially for your retirement.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x