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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1449 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
BG Question by BG on Jan 19, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anuji,
My aunt lost her husband to Covid and is 42 years of age. She is extremely afraid of going to another city, station, elevators.
She panics. This condition was known to her and family after she had a fracture and was taken for CT scan where she panicked and begged for a place by the window.
She was claustrophobic we learned and later she was afraid of going to any place other then just remaining home.

Kindly please help us step by step with your valuable guidance.
Thanking you,
With respects,
BG

Ans:

Dear BG,

I am truly sorry for the loss in the family.

Take your aunt to open spaces like parks, beaches…the fear of closed spaces and gasping for air could be triggered from any past experiences.

It’s the way in which she has perceived the experience in the first place that has become her truth and reality.

This needs to be substituted with the experience of open spaces into closed spaces.

Ask her to imagine a beach while she is in an elevator; but make sure someone accompanies her on these trips till she is ready to make trips by herself.

Work with a mental health therapist if she doesn’t want or refuses to make this change.

All said, do make sure that she is not forced with this and it is a slow process as she is still in the process of grieving.

Please help her heal from the loss before suggesting any changes. She needs the love, care and support of the family.

Be well and happy always!

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How to overcome claustrophobia
Ans: Overcoming claustrophobia, the fear of enclosed spaces or situations, involves a step-by-step approach that blends self-help techniques with the guidance of professionals specializing in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and life coaching. Here's a revised version of the steps you can take:

Knowledge and Awareness: Begin by learning about claustrophobia and its triggers. Recognize that this is a common anxiety disorder and not something isolated to you alone. Understanding its nature can help alleviate some of the fear associated with it.

Gradual Exposure: Ease into challenging situations that trigger your claustrophobia. Start with those that cause minimal discomfort. For instance, if elevators trigger your anxiety, begin by standing near one without getting in, and progressively work your way up to stepping inside for short periods. Gradual exposure can help desensitize your fear response.

Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation practices like deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness. These techniques can assist in reducing anxiety when confronting triggering scenarios.

Visualization: Envision yourself in situations that usually evoke claustrophobia. Visualize yourself remaining calm and composed. This technique empowers you to build a sense of control and confidence.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): Consult with an NLP practitioner who specializes in addressing phobias. NLP can help reframe thought patterns and behaviors associated with claustrophobia, assisting you in altering your perception of triggering situations.

Life Coaching Support: Engage a life coach who is experienced in guiding individuals through overcoming fears. A life coach can provide motivation, encouragement, and practical strategies for managing claustrophobia.

Virtual Reality Exposure: Some professionals use virtual reality to create simulated environments that trigger your claustrophobia in a controlled setting. This method allows you to practice coping strategies within a safe environment.

Support Network: Communicate your struggles with friends and family. Having a supportive network can offer understanding and encouragement during your journey.

Professional Guidance: If your claustrophobia significantly impacts your daily life, consider seeking help from an NLP practitioner or life coach. They can customize strategies and provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

Patience and Progress: Understand that conquering claustrophobia is a gradual process. Celebrate even the smallest victories and maintain patience with yourself.

Remember that you're embarking on a personal journey of growth and transformation. If your claustrophobia is disrupting your life, seeking assistance from a professional well-versed in NLP and life coaching is recommended. Their expertise can provide targeted approaches to help you overcome your fears and enhance your quality of life.

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Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |1146 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
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My grandmother has Parkinson's and got a tube in her nose that extends to her stomach that so we can inject liquids easily as she completely avoids eating food and doesn't even swallow a sip of water. She snatched the tube out of her nose completely and now it cannot be used again. We cannot keep a check on her for full 24 hours but we try our best. Please suggest anything to avoid the snatching as once a tube has been taken out it cannot be re-inserted. And please one more thing that she keeps wetting the bed despite of using diapers. The diaper always leaks out and then my mom has to clean grandmother, her clothes, the bed sheets etc. She gets tired by doing this twice a day as it is a lot of work. Pls suggest something about the bed wetting to how to minimise it. She is around 70 kgs and cannot even get up herself so my mom has to pull her out of the bed which requires a lot of strength. My mom feels pain in her back and shoulder a lot. All of this happening around the house is too much. I will be grateful if you reply.
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Normally soaking happens if we do not change the diaper adequately.
Please ask your Mom to do some upper body work outs through a physios, help.
With respect to the Ryle's tube, it is an irritant that one gets used to. If your Grandmom does not like it and non cooperative not much can be done. But you could check up with her Physician if now and then Parenteral nutrition can be given by hospitalising her

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Ravi Mittal  |514 Answers  |Ask -

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
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How do I 32M get over my insecurity with 30F? (Seeking Advice) Met this girl via matrimony exactly 2 months back. We connect well. Our families have met recently and it went well. Somehow we found a lot of connections between our families. That's just a bonus. Her family likes me a lot and they wanted to do Roka when they met us last week. I had told her, that no matter our bond, we should talk a lot and give it 3 months before going for roka. We live in different metro cities and have met twice now. About her: She is 30, well behaved & spoken(most important thing for me), smart, good looking, and is extremely polite. She is an army brat, has had a lot of freedom from family. Due to her father's job, they kept getting posted to different cities so she doesn't really understand family part of things. She's in a IT job. About me: I'm 32, okayish guy, in IT. To take things ahead I need to know my partner's past. I have no judgements at all but need to know stuff. Getting to know things over time bothers me a lot. I've tried to work on it, and have always made sure I don't bother the other person too much. After a month of talking, she told me that she had a casual boyfriend for an year. All her friends were dating in Bangalore and she decided to try it out. Found a guy through bumble and started dating him. So, according to her there were no feelings, just a person for her to go to places with, have drinks, and party. She likes drinking a lot and I have never taken a sip. She said that it was just a phase and she was immature. This happened between 2018(Nov) to 2020(march). So, it's been like 5 years. Never dated anyone after that. Since covid(2020) she's been living with her parents due to wfh. I have been completely ok with that but new things surfaced and they are messing with my head. While snooping around her facebook I figured out who that person was and this guy is super close to a person in my distant family. In fact they both were flatmates until their respective marriages. This distant cousin of mine knows me and knows her really well. These 3 used to hangout a lot and he has seen her come to their flat regularly. Infact, she had a good bond with my cousin as well. There are things that bother me and I really can't shake things and feel super awful in my gut. She mentioned that she and her ex had a common love for drinking and regularly visited pubs, got drunk, and partied. This means that they would be staying at each other's place as well. This is something super old but bothers me a lot. Specifically the fact that she would be drunk partying with someone for an year and sleeping with him, with no feelings. Secondly, I found some posts where she has liked a post about this guy on fb/insta from mid-2021. I have already confronted her twice to share everything and we shall never discuss this again but this bothers me a lot. Secondly, now that I know the timelines I can figure out what photos have been taken by her ex. There's even a photo of her sitting on a messy bed, where she's cutting her bday cake. They celebrated it together. I found my cousins page and some other pages from which I knew it's the guy's room/flat. I know everyone has a past. She has come clean to me but somehow my brain is so split. Sometimes her nature and behaviour with me make me not care about anything. And then I know the bed, flat, and her actions with some guy. Then there is this angle where the ex's flatmate is my distant cousin and knows about her well.
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I understand that it is important for you to need to know her past and you mentioned that you merely want to know, and would not judge. But judging is exactly what you are doing. A lot of people have exes, a lot of people have occasional drinks- we can't judge people based on their past. She has opened up to you and all you are doing is snooping around. To be honest, it seems like you are really more concerned about her ex and past than about how amazing a person she is. I have only one piece of advice, if you think you can't get past her past, let her go. No one deserves to be judged by their past.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7595 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

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I am 49 and plan to retire in 2 years time.. I currently have a MF corpus of about 1.8 Cr, a PF of about 1 Cr and properties worth 2 Cr. I have been investing in MF's since 2014 through SIP's and currently have 70K monthly SIP. Please advise if I would be comfortable in 2 years, my estimated monthly expense post retirement would be approx 2 Lakhs per month
Ans: Your current corpus of Rs. 1.8 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 1 crore in PF is significant. The additional Rs. 2 crore in properties adds to your wealth but doesn’t provide immediate liquidity. Let us evaluate if your corpus will sustain your post-retirement expense of Rs. 2 lakh per month.

Estimating Post-Retirement Corpus Requirement
You plan to retire in 2 years, at age 51.

Assuming a life expectancy of 85 years, the corpus needs to last for 34 years.

An expense of Rs. 2 lakh per month means Rs. 24 lakh annually.

Adjust this amount for inflation to calculate future needs.

Current Investment Contributions
Your Rs. 70,000 monthly SIP builds your corpus over the next 2 years.

SIPs offer rupee cost averaging, reducing market volatility impact.

Assess the fund performance regularly to maximise growth.

Diversification of Investments
Your corpus is spread across mutual funds, PF, and properties.

PF provides a stable, fixed return but lacks flexibility.

Properties offer wealth accumulation but are less liquid for immediate needs.

Mutual funds remain a primary source of liquidity and growth post-retirement.

Evaluating Monthly Withdrawals Post-Retirement
Withdrawals should balance your monthly expenses and ensure corpus longevity.

Avoid withdrawing large amounts in the early years of retirement.

Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for withdrawal strategies.

Role of Inflation and Healthcare Costs
Factor in inflation’s effect on expenses over 30+ years.

A 6% inflation rate doubles your monthly expense in 12 years.

Allocate for increasing healthcare costs with age.

Importance of Emergency and Medical Coverage
Keep at least 6 months' expenses in a liquid fund for emergencies.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance for unexpected medical costs.

Tax Efficiency in Withdrawals
Equity mutual funds' LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund returns are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Plan withdrawals to minimise tax liability on gains.

Active Funds vs. Direct Funds
Actively managed funds optimise returns by responding to market changes.

Direct funds lack professional support, affecting long-term efficiency.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to select regular funds.

Disadvantages of Relying on Real Estate
Properties are illiquid and may take time to convert to cash.

Rental income may not cover Rs. 2 lakh monthly expenses reliably.

Maintenance and property taxes further reduce returns.

Recommendations for Portfolio Restructuring
Increase Allocation to Growth Assets

Continue SIPs in equity mutual funds for growth potential.

Review funds for consistent performance and portfolio alignment.

Add Balanced and Debt Funds for Stability

Include balanced advantage and debt funds for steady income.

Debt funds reduce overall portfolio risk.

Plan a Withdrawal Strategy

Use the SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for predictable income.

Withdraw from equity funds after 3 years for tax efficiency.

Avoid Over-reliance on PF and Real Estate

PF offers safety but limited returns.

Use properties strategically for potential downsizing or sale.

Final Insights
You are on track to retire comfortably, provided you optimise your investments. Plan your withdrawals carefully, factoring in inflation and tax efficiency. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your portfolio and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7595 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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Money
I like to know which MF to be selected for investing in a SIP among same types of funds with equal performances and risks but with different NAVs.
Ans: When selecting a mutual fund for SIP among funds with similar types, performances, and risks but different NAVs, consider the following aspects:

1. Net Asset Value (NAV) Does Not Reflect Fund Performance
A lower or higher NAV does not indicate better returns.

NAV reflects the fund's per-unit value and changes daily.

Investment growth depends on percentage returns, not NAV values.

2. Expense Ratio and Fund Costs
A lower expense ratio can improve net returns.

Actively managed funds with skilled fund managers may charge slightly higher fees.

Ensure you evaluate the cost-to-benefit ratio before making a decision.

3. Fund Manager's Track Record
Review the fund manager's expertise and past performances.

A consistent manager with strong market knowledge can add value.

Avoid funds with frequent management changes.

4. Fund House Reputation and AUM
Choose funds from a reputed fund house with a strong track record.

A large Asset Under Management (AUM) ensures better stability and liquidity.

Avoid funds with excessively low AUM, as they may face liquidity issues.

5. Tax Implications of the Fund
Assess how long-term and short-term capital gains will affect returns.

Equity mutual funds have specific tax rates: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Debt funds follow your income tax slab, affecting post-tax returns.

6. Investment Goals and Time Horizon
Align the fund choice with your financial goals.

Longer-term goals may benefit from equity-focused funds.

Short-term goals may require hybrid or debt-focused funds.

7. SIP Benefits in Any NAV
SIPs help average out purchase costs over time, reducing the impact of NAV differences.

Avoid basing decisions solely on NAV, as SIPs work on rupee cost averaging.

8. Focus on Portfolio Composition
Examine the fund's portfolio mix and sector allocation.

Ensure diversification aligns with your risk appetite and goals.

Avoid funds with concentrated exposure to risky sectors.

9. Assess Consistency of Returns
Look at rolling returns and consistency across market cycles.

Funds with stable returns in volatile markets are preferable.

Avoid funds with high volatility in performance.

10. Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds passively track benchmarks, lacking flexibility in volatile markets.

Actively managed funds can outperform by leveraging market opportunities.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to suitable active funds.

11. Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Regular funds offer ongoing advice and monitoring by a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD).

Direct funds lack professional support, which is crucial for long-term goals.

Certified Financial Planners provide insights and manage your portfolio efficiently.

Final Insights
Choosing the right mutual fund involves evaluating beyond NAVs. Focus on long-term potential, cost efficiency, and alignment with goals. SIPs, combined with expert advice, will help you achieve financial stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |45 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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