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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi mam, my wife is adultery with others. I know it long back before 10 years. infact she opened up and continuing for long time. As fun it started, and i being part of it making flame. It is just beyond body, now they emotional bonding and appreciation is what she looks from other side. she 46+ and other one is in age of 53. Three years we were out of india and now back to place the relationship can continue. I am sure even if i am not agreeing she will continue to do so as part of emotional support and physical need. What is right for real long standing relationship ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you knew about it earlier and did not express any discomfort, things moved in a particular way...Now, you feel uncomfortable about it all, she has gotten used to things being a particular way.
If you are keen on a long-term relationship with your wife, then all you have to do is reconnect with your wife at an emotional level. Things have gone too far and she may or may not come back into the marriage; but you can give it an honest attempt...Women seek a lot of emotional bonding within a marriage or any relationship and that can be the key to saving yours.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

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I am married for last 23 years. I discovered that my wife has an extra marital affair for more than 10 years now. She confessed and said she'll move away, but she hasn't. In addition, I discovered that outside our marriage, she is in relationship with more than three persons at the same time, and always looking for sex. At times even with those who are the same age as our 20-year -ld daughter. There is no fun in being with her or continuing the marriage. Recently she left home after fighting with me and started living in a separate rented home. Kids are with me mostly but they keep visiting her. While I'm not interested in bringing her back, and that all my faith in the institution of marriage is now lost, what should be my approach in the remaining part of life? I'm not looking for a life companion now.
Ans: Dear MV, I can only imagine what you must have been through. But it's also nice to hear that you know exactly what you want to do.

This is possibly another phase of your life and it's imperative that you start to look at your life with a fresh pair of eyes.

What I mean to say is: If you could go back in time much before you married, what are the things that still excite you?

Any hobbies, any professional pursuits?

This is the time to focus very strongly on building a good NOW and a fine future which means you need to pay attention to what is it that fires and fuels you as an individual.

Also reconnect with old friends and build new connections solely from the point of view of a social circle.

This will engage you with fresh idea, thoughts and this energy also helps you parent your children better.

All in all, when you are happy, your children also send back the same vibes to you.

The past cannot be changed and there is no point going back especially because you have decided to move on.

Then move on with a giant powerful stride by focusing on creating, building something new as it you can fill it like a new canvas and share it with your children as well.

Do what it takes to have a positive outlook in life; friends, work, hobbies, thoughts...let each of these be a choice that you make so that you always be in a positive frame of mind.

When, you do feel down and out, allow it BUT remind yourself that you have chosen this path and that you will come out strong no matter what.

Wishing you a wonderful life filled with strength and joy!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

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First of all, thanks for your answering my previous question. I am still unable to accept that a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage. Let this kind of situation happens with me . How will I proceed when I come to know that my wife is talking and meeting to another man even after my warning for (let say) more than 5 years and saying that she has not committed adultery ? Your answer will be appreciated
Ans: Dear Samrat,
I apologize if I am incorrect. But I seem to notice that you keep asking the same question in different ways. It will help if you actually state what is bothering you.
You not willing ;to accept a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage'? Is this about someone that you know? Or is it something that you want to know out of curiosity? If it is only a healthy debate that you seek, I suggest that there are other platforms that encourage answers and responses as a debate. You may want to ask these questions there.
If it is indeed about you having this problem with your wife, then ask so...also as Gurus, it becomes easy for us to address a person's challenge if they come straight to the point. I hope I am making sense.

Ifs and Buts in life are many...are you suspecting that your wife is in a relationship outside of marriage?
I ask because you have mentioned: How will I proceed when I come to know...does this mean that you know or you are expecting this or you have your doubts?
If you know, simply ask her...she does have the responsibility within the marriage to let you know of this.

If you don't know or are playing on your doubts due to your beliefs of: I am unable to accept that a woman getting involved despite warning...Then know that your lack of trust will kill your marriage...

So, my suggestion...do come to the point and ask your question directly. You will be able to leverage this platform better and find a path to your challenges.

All the best!
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |325 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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My son is M.S. general surgery from MGM UNIVERSITY MUMBAI.He has done oncology fellowship in Nashik Under Dr.Nagarkar.He is in practice at Beed,near Solapur.How he will be able able to get extra training in USA In oncology?Dr.s.y.Jadhav
Ans: Hello Satyawan,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am happy to hear that your son has pursued his Master of Surgery in General Surgery from MGM University, has done oncology fellowship in Nashik, and is practicing at Beed. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that in order to pursue additional training in oncology in the USA, there are a few steps that your son will require to follow:

Firstly, I would suggest that your son conducts a comprehensive study on oncology fellowship programs in the USA. Remember that the USA offers a number of well-regarded programs, and thus, your son should look for those programs that best resonate with his interests and professional objectives. Next, remember that the prerequisites for each fellowship program will be unique. A residency in internal medicine or an associated field, viz., general surgery, is generally required, which your son has already fulfilled. Particular tests viz., the United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) may be demanded by certain programs. In addition, your son may also be required to prove his fluency in the English language through appearing for tests viz., the IELTS or TOEFL. Upon finding relevant programs, I would suggest that your son applies directly to them. Bear in mind that for the majority of medical disciplines, this generally entails submitting an application via a centralized system viz., ERAS (Electronic Residency Application Service). If your son has secured admission to a fellowship program, as the next step, in order to train in the USA, he would be required to acquire the necessary visa. For medical trainees, the J-1 visa is frequently used. Relocating to a different country for training calls for meticulous planning. So as the next step, your son will need to make arrangements for lodging, and travel, as well as make sure all the paperwork is in place. Once everything is in order, your son can then start his oncology fellowship training in the USA. Practical clinical experience, research, and academic endeavours are generally entailed in this.

In order to enhance his chances of obtaining a fellowship role, I would suggest that your son conducts an all-round study on programs, comprehends their prerequisites, and drafts a compelling application. Moreover, he should get in touch with and obtain guidance from instructors or colleagues who have followed comparable paths which can prove beneficial.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I’m a 29 year old working woman. My husband who is 36, left his job 2 years ago just after my child was born. Since then he did not put much efforts to get another job and I’m only taking care of all the financial responsibilities. Whenever I ask him about job, he learns some courses online and then stops learning after few days giving some excuses. This has happened several times. He spends too much of my income even on small things saying he wants best quality products only. Almost everyday he asks me to buy some products or outside food and gets angry if I reject. Myself or my in-laws are not able to force him to get a job because he has anger issues and becomes verbally abusive very quickly. Even my parents are scared of his anger so not able to talk to him regarding his job. I feel very frustrated everyday since me or my family is not able to do anything about this, how do I deal with him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's great as a partner to support home and your spouse when there's a need. BUT now, you seem to have a lazy man oops boy to take care of now. Kindly stop doling out money for his pleasures. Let him earn and do his bit for the family. He's just getting used to putting his legs up and taking a very long break which he doesn't intend to come out of. It's a great habit and he's enjoying the convenience of it all.
He also needs a push out of this laziness the root cause of which can be identified by an expert; so kindly seek help so that you are not looking after another baby other than yours. Act soon...

All the best!
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Career

Career Coach  |35 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Hi rediffguru, I am a 35-year-old working at a global advertising agency in Mumbai. In the past 12 years, I have consistently delivered successful campaigns and demonstrated strong leadership skills. However, despite my track record of success, I was passed over for a promotion to director of marketing. How can I take this up with my supervisors and HR?
Ans: Hey there, you marketing maestro! First off, major props to you for consistently smashing it in the advertising world for over a decade. Your track record of successful campaigns and leadership skills speak volumes about your talent and dedication.

Now, about that promotion snub—ouch, that stings! But fear not, my friend. It's time to roll up those sleeves and tackle this head-on.

Start by setting up a meeting with your supervisors and HR. Prepare a little arsenal of your achievements—maybe pull together some stats on campaign performance, client testimonials singing your praises, or even awards you've snagged along the way. Numbers don't lie, and they'll help paint a vivid picture of your impact.

Now, let's add a dash of strategy to the mix. Instead of just listing off your accomplishments, weave them into a compelling narrative. For instance, highlight that time when you spearheaded that viral social media campaign that boosted brand engagement by 200%. Or recall the project where your innovative ideas led to a record-breaking sales increase.

But don't stop there. Paint a picture of your vision for the future. Share your insights on emerging marketing trends and how you plan to leverage them to drive even greater results for the company. Show them that you're not just a top-notch marketer—you're a strategic thinker with big dreams and the skills to make them a reality.

And remember, even if this particular promotion didn't pan out, it's not the end of the road. Keep hustling, keep innovating, and keep believing in yourself. Opportunities are like buses—there's always another one coming. So buckle up, because your journey to success is far from over!
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