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Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi mam, my wife is adultery with others. I know it long back before 10 years. infact she opened up and continuing for long time. As fun it started, and i being part of it making flame. It is just beyond body, now they emotional bonding and appreciation is what she looks from other side. she 46+ and other one is in age of 53. Three years we were out of india and now back to place the relationship can continue. I am sure even if i am not agreeing she will continue to do so as part of emotional support and physical need. What is right for real long standing relationship ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you knew about it earlier and did not express any discomfort, things moved in a particular way...Now, you feel uncomfortable about it all, she has gotten used to things being a particular way.
If you are keen on a long-term relationship with your wife, then all you have to do is reconnect with your wife at an emotional level. Things have gone too far and she may or may not come back into the marriage; but you can give it an honest attempt...Women seek a lot of emotional bonding within a marriage or any relationship and that can be the key to saving yours.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

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Relationship
I am married for last 23 years. I discovered that my wife has an extra marital affair for more than 10 years now. She confessed and said she'll move away, but she hasn't. In addition, I discovered that outside our marriage, she is in relationship with more than three persons at the same time, and always looking for sex. At times even with those who are the same age as our 20-year -ld daughter. There is no fun in being with her or continuing the marriage. Recently she left home after fighting with me and started living in a separate rented home. Kids are with me mostly but they keep visiting her. While I'm not interested in bringing her back, and that all my faith in the institution of marriage is now lost, what should be my approach in the remaining part of life? I'm not looking for a life companion now.
Ans: Dear MV, I can only imagine what you must have been through. But it's also nice to hear that you know exactly what you want to do.

This is possibly another phase of your life and it's imperative that you start to look at your life with a fresh pair of eyes.

What I mean to say is: If you could go back in time much before you married, what are the things that still excite you?

Any hobbies, any professional pursuits?

This is the time to focus very strongly on building a good NOW and a fine future which means you need to pay attention to what is it that fires and fuels you as an individual.

Also reconnect with old friends and build new connections solely from the point of view of a social circle.

This will engage you with fresh idea, thoughts and this energy also helps you parent your children better.

All in all, when you are happy, your children also send back the same vibes to you.

The past cannot be changed and there is no point going back especially because you have decided to move on.

Then move on with a giant powerful stride by focusing on creating, building something new as it you can fill it like a new canvas and share it with your children as well.

Do what it takes to have a positive outlook in life; friends, work, hobbies, thoughts...let each of these be a choice that you make so that you always be in a positive frame of mind.

When, you do feel down and out, allow it BUT remind yourself that you have chosen this path and that you will come out strong no matter what.

Wishing you a wonderful life filled with strength and joy!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

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Relationship
First of all, thanks for your answering my previous question. I am still unable to accept that a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage. Let this kind of situation happens with me . How will I proceed when I come to know that my wife is talking and meeting to another man even after my warning for (let say) more than 5 years and saying that she has not committed adultery ? Your answer will be appreciated
Ans: Dear Samrat,
I apologize if I am incorrect. But I seem to notice that you keep asking the same question in different ways. It will help if you actually state what is bothering you.
You not willing ;to accept a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage'? Is this about someone that you know? Or is it something that you want to know out of curiosity? If it is only a healthy debate that you seek, I suggest that there are other platforms that encourage answers and responses as a debate. You may want to ask these questions there.
If it is indeed about you having this problem with your wife, then ask so...also as Gurus, it becomes easy for us to address a person's challenge if they come straight to the point. I hope I am making sense.

Ifs and Buts in life are many...are you suspecting that your wife is in a relationship outside of marriage?
I ask because you have mentioned: How will I proceed when I come to know...does this mean that you know or you are expecting this or you have your doubts?
If you know, simply ask her...she does have the responsibility within the marriage to let you know of this.

If you don't know or are playing on your doubts due to your beliefs of: I am unable to accept that a woman getting involved despite warning...Then know that your lack of trust will kill your marriage...

So, my suggestion...do come to the point and ask your question directly. You will be able to leverage this platform better and find a path to your challenges.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Relationship
I forgot to tell you that I already have confronted her and she admitted her affair but lied that it was for last 6 years only. She promised me to end her relation with her lover. I don't know if she is still keeping her communication with him.My question to you is that if a wife could cheat her loyal and completely dedicated husband for so many years can I ever trust her? I proposed her to marry her lover but she denied saying that he is good as a friend but not fit to be a husband. I understand that she likes me as a provider but loves him from her heart. If she had love and respect for me she could never have betrayed me ,that too for 12 years. Can I lead rest of my life with an infidel woman whom I cannot trust and respect any more? I accidentally came to know her affair with her lover, I would never know if she had or has multiple lovers over the stretch of 25 years of married life. Advise me sensibly keeping it a secret.
Ans: Dear Shristi,
What's done is done! You can't turn the clock backwards now...Yes, you are hurt by what she has done and trust is lost...now, is it possible to regain that trust?
I will ask you: Do you want to trust her again? it will happen only if you choose it...else the mind will only be focused on how not to trust her. If she does not pick your call, you may assume that she is with the other guy OR if she reads your text message and does not reply, you may assume that she is chatting with the other guy...The possibilities that will crop in the mind will be unlimited and it will bring in unlimited stress. You can see from your own example how your mind has begun to question if she has had multiple lovers...this is the way the mind will torture you.

So, either you decide to trust her OR not; it's up to you...If NO, then you have a lot of decisions to make...If YES, you really must put the past aside and then find a way of building your marriage. It will require both of you to work as a team and bring the best into the marriage. So, what is it that you want? Just focus on that and move ahead!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My wife posts everything on social media. Earlier she used to post about food and travel and our kids. Now if we have a fight or argument, she turns it into a funny reel or feminism post and everyone on her feed starts commenting. I am not on social media but when we meet socially, our common friends have started making fun of me like I am the villain. She calls herself an influencer and says it is helping her reach a wider audience. I told her she shouldn't post without my permission and it is leading to big arguments. I feel it is unfair. What should I do? Please help me sir
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand where you are coming from; it's not just the post. It's about your private life being turned into public content and mockery. Your reaction is valid and yes, it is unfair. I understand her interest in building an online presence, but it has to be separated from your right to privacy. Start with a calm conversation about this; express, verbally, how her posts make you feel. Instead of saying, "You can't post about is," try saying, "When our problems become content, it hurts the relationship and me." Or, you can say, "I am so happy that you are making content, but not when it involves our problems." It's the best way to frame the expression without sounding accusatory. Be clear about your boundaries: no posts about private matters, and consent is key. Give her real-word examples, like how your friends mock you. Try to keep the conversation as less accusatory as possible, to avoid a bigger conflict. Start with communicating your feelings.

Best Wishes

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