Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Samrat Question by Samrat on Dec 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

First of all, thanks for your answering my previous question. I am still unable to accept that a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage. Let this kind of situation happens with me . How will I proceed when I come to know that my wife is talking and meeting to another man even after my warning for (let say) more than 5 years and saying that she has not committed adultery ? Your answer will be appreciated

Ans: Dear Samrat,
I apologize if I am incorrect. But I seem to notice that you keep asking the same question in different ways. It will help if you actually state what is bothering you.
You not willing ;to accept a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage'? Is this about someone that you know? Or is it something that you want to know out of curiosity? If it is only a healthy debate that you seek, I suggest that there are other platforms that encourage answers and responses as a debate. You may want to ask these questions there.
If it is indeed about you having this problem with your wife, then ask so...also as Gurus, it becomes easy for us to address a person's challenge if they come straight to the point. I hope I am making sense.

Ifs and Buts in life are many...are you suspecting that your wife is in a relationship outside of marriage?
I ask because you have mentioned: How will I proceed when I come to know...does this mean that you know or you are expecting this or you have your doubts?
If you know, simply ask her...she does have the responsibility within the marriage to let you know of this.

If you don't know or are playing on your doubts due to your beliefs of: I am unable to accept that a woman getting involved despite warning...Then know that your lack of trust will kill your marriage...

So, my suggestion...do come to the point and ask your question directly. You will be able to leverage this platform better and find a path to your challenges.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

Listen
Relationship
I am married for last 23 years. I discovered that my wife has an extra marital affair for more than 10 years now. She confessed and said she'll move away, but she hasn't. In addition, I discovered that outside our marriage, she is in relationship with more than three persons at the same time, and always looking for sex. At times even with those who are the same age as our 20-year -ld daughter. There is no fun in being with her or continuing the marriage. Recently she left home after fighting with me and started living in a separate rented home. Kids are with me mostly but they keep visiting her. While I'm not interested in bringing her back, and that all my faith in the institution of marriage is now lost, what should be my approach in the remaining part of life? I'm not looking for a life companion now.
Ans: Dear MV, I can only imagine what you must have been through. But it's also nice to hear that you know exactly what you want to do.

This is possibly another phase of your life and it's imperative that you start to look at your life with a fresh pair of eyes.

What I mean to say is: If you could go back in time much before you married, what are the things that still excite you?

Any hobbies, any professional pursuits?

This is the time to focus very strongly on building a good NOW and a fine future which means you need to pay attention to what is it that fires and fuels you as an individual.

Also reconnect with old friends and build new connections solely from the point of view of a social circle.

This will engage you with fresh idea, thoughts and this energy also helps you parent your children better.

All in all, when you are happy, your children also send back the same vibes to you.

The past cannot be changed and there is no point going back especially because you have decided to move on.

Then move on with a giant powerful stride by focusing on creating, building something new as it you can fill it like a new canvas and share it with your children as well.

Do what it takes to have a positive outlook in life; friends, work, hobbies, thoughts...let each of these be a choice that you make so that you always be in a positive frame of mind.

When, you do feel down and out, allow it BUT remind yourself that you have chosen this path and that you will come out strong no matter what.

Wishing you a wonderful life filled with strength and joy!

(more)
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I been married for 15 years now. From last 4-5 years, my wife has been getting involved with Random men(Friend circle, internet friends etc). In few times I found out and she promised that she will stop. But In last couple of years, she been deeply involved with a man who is a friend of her. Her friends have been encouraging and helping her to meet him. She keeps giving vague excuses to go out , when i know she is going to meet her. We had multiple discussions and arguments regarding his involvement, but she keep saying she only talks to him as a friend. Her phone is locked, so i cant see the messages between them. But I secretly recorded a few of the conversations she is having with him when I am away at work. I was shocked by the brazen act of her to continue relationship with him inspite of my warnings. I am not thinking of divorce at the moment since the kids are involved. I am not able to figure out what to do, and since it is affecting my career and health and kids well being. Please advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that divorce is still seen as a negative thing in Indian society, and as you rightfully said, it can have an impact on your kids but at this point in time, some form of separation, if not legal, is very much required. You cannot stand by while your partner continues to cheat on you. If it is indeed your misconception, you might have to sit together with your wife and clear it out once and for all. But if you are absolutely sure about this affair, taking some form of strict action is important. Love can fade over the years, but cheating is never acceptable and you have to communicate this with your partner. Let her decide between you and the man she claims is her friend. And, coming to your kids- it is better to have two happily divorced parents than two unhappy parents who were forced to stick together.

Best Wishes!
(more)
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2023Hindi
Listen
Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |939 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello Sir, I am looking at imvesting around Rs.20,000 per month in SIP with good returns and overall balanced portfolio along with some us stock exposure (Parag Parikh kind of funds). Please provide your valuable suggest in which mutual funds should I invest or is ETF better option
Ans: When considering your investment strategy, actively managed funds can offer distinct advantages over ETFs. Actively managed funds are overseen by professional fund managers who actively research and select investments they believe will outperform the market. This active management can potentially lead to higher returns compared to passively managed ETFs.

Furthermore, actively managed funds have the flexibility to adapt to changing market conditions and exploit emerging opportunities. Fund managers can adjust their portfolios in response to market trends, economic indicators, and company-specific developments, aiming to optimize returns while managing risk.

On the other hand, ETFs, while offering low expense ratios and broad market exposure, often deliver only mediocre returns. Since they passively track an index, ETFs are unable to take advantage of market inefficiencies or capitalize on undervalued securities in the same way actively managed funds can.

Considering your desire for balanced returns and exposure to US stocks akin to Parag Parikh-like funds, actively managed funds offer a more suitable option. They provide the potential for superior performance while aligning with your investment objectives and preferences. Working with a Certified Financial Planner can help you identify the most appropriate actively managed funds to include in your portfolio.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |939 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello, I am 25 years old. Due to personal reasons I invest in only 100% equity mutual funds that do not invest in banking stocks. Currently I am investing in 3 mutual funds: Nippon India Power & Infra direct growth, Taurus Ethical fund and Tata Ethical fund. I have set Tata ethical fund aside as a retirement fund. Can you suggest where can I invest more (sectoral mfs or gold etf etc.)to correctly diversify my portfolio.
Ans: Given your current allocation to 100% equity mutual funds without exposure to banking stocks, let's explore other avenues for diversification while respecting your investment preferences.

One option is to consider adding a component of debt instruments to your portfolio. Debt mutual funds can provide stability and income generation, complementing the growth-oriented equity funds you're already invested in. Look for funds with high-quality debt securities and a track record of consistent returns.

Another avenue to explore is allocating a portion of your portfolio to gold. Gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds can act as a hedge against inflation and currency fluctuations, diversifying your portfolio and reducing overall risk.

Additionally, you might consider increasing your exposure to international equities. Investing in global markets can provide access to a broader range of opportunities and reduce reliance on any single market or economy.

Ultimately, the key is to maintain a balanced portfolio that aligns with your risk tolerance and long-term financial goals. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can help you navigate these options and tailor a diversified investment strategy that suits your needs.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |939 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Listen
Money
I have a lumpsum amount of 20lakh to invest but have no idea how to invest to get a steady monthly income.
Ans: It's understandable to feel uncertain about how to make your lump sum work for you. As a Certified Financial Planner, I'm here to help navigate this journey with you. Have you considered the power of diversification?

Diversification is like spreading your bets across multiple horses in a race rather than putting all your money on just one. In the investment world, it means allocating your funds across different types of assets like stocks, bonds, and maybe even commodities or real estate investment trusts (REITs). This way, if one asset underperforms, others may compensate, reducing overall risk.

Active funds are managed by professional fund managers who actively research and select investments they believe will outperform the market. This active management can potentially lead to higher returns compared to simply tracking an index.

Regular funds, accessed through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD), provide a structured approach to investing. Your MFD can offer personalized advice and support, helping you navigate the complexities of the market and make informed decisions.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a portfolio that balances risk and reward, tailored to your unique circumstances and financial goals. Together with a Certified Financial Planner and your MFD, we can design a strategy that aims to provide you with a steady monthly income while safeguarding your financial future.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |939 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |939 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, I'm an 18 year old male, recently turned on January of this year, the first thing I did was to open a bank account. I have saved around 1Lakh approx, to be specific 96-97K, from the past two and an half or so year. Currently I have no debt, I don't use credit card, currently no loan. I have a debit card which I use to purchase stuff, my spending is very frugale, except from needs. I have recently opened a demat account and invested around 26-27K in the Indian market, to get a gist of things actually work. I have divided the money into Index/ETF, mid cap and Large cap. Mostly the money is in Index. What should be my next steps to grow, and can you suggest me some demat accounts that are good to use, currently am using INDmoney. I also have plans to study abroad, especially do my bachelor's. I need an amout of around 40-45Lakhs, a safe side of 50Lakhs, if the duration of the study is 3-4years with 2 years extra of work visa what should I do to repay the loan and still have money to progress forward with my career.
Ans: Firstly, congratulations on taking proactive steps towards financial responsibility at such a young age. Your disciplined approach to saving and investing is truly commendable.

As you embark on your journey to grow your wealth and prepare for your studies abroad, it's crucial to strategize wisely. Have you considered the potential benefits of diversifying your investments through actively managed funds rather than relying solely on passive index funds? While index funds offer broad market exposure, active funds are managed by professionals who aim to outperform the market.

For your demat account, have you thought about seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner or a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) to ensure that you are making well-informed investment decisions? Digital platforms are convenient, but the personalized advice and support from a certified professional can add immense value to your investment journey.

As for planning for your education abroad, have you contemplated exploring investment avenues beyond the stock market? Given the specific timeframe and financial goal, alongside potential currency fluctuations, it's crucial to explore a mix of investment options that align with your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Wishing you the very best as you navigate these financial decisions, and may your journey be filled with learning and growth.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |939 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Listen
Money
Sir what are the best thematic mutual funds giving high returns . Can you share a few. I just found icici infra structure fund . Similarly can you suggest any thematic funds giving high returns onky for lumpsum investment for 3to 5 years tome frame
Ans: Naveen,

It's wonderful to see your proactive approach towards exploring thematic mutual funds for potential high returns. Thematic funds can indeed be enticing with their focus on specific sectors like infrastructure, technology, or healthcare. While thematic funds have the potential for high returns, they also come with increased risk due to their concentrated exposure.

Have you considered the risks associated with investing in thematic funds? As these funds are heavily dependent on the performance of a particular sector, fluctuations in that sector could significantly impact your investment. To mitigate risk and ensure a more balanced portfolio, it might be beneficial to diversify your investments across different sectors by considering diversified active equity funds.

Certified Financial Planners often recommend a diversified approach to investing as it helps in spreading the risk and capturing opportunities across various sectors. By opting for diversified funds, you can benefit from the growth potential of multiple sectors while managing the inherent risks associated with thematic funds.

It's essential to align your investment choices with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Before making any investment decisions, I encourage you to consult with a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized guidance based on your unique circumstances.

Invest wisely, stay diversified, and may your financial journey be filled with growth and stability.
(more)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x