I am married for last 23 years. I discovered that my wife has an extra marital affair for more than 10 years now.
She confessed and said she'll move away, but she hasn't.
In addition, I discovered that outside our marriage, she is in relationship with more than three persons at the same time, and always looking for sex.
At times even with those who are the same age as our 20-year -ld daughter.
There is no fun in being with her or continuing the marriage.
Recently she left home after fighting with me and started living in a separate rented home. Kids are with me mostly but they keep visiting her.
While I'm not interested in bringing her back, and that all my faith in the institution of marriage is now lost, what should be my approach in the remaining part of life?
I'm not looking for a life companion now.
Ans: Dear MV, I can only imagine what you must have been through. But it's also nice to hear that you know exactly what you want to do.
This is possibly another phase of your life and it's imperative that you start to look at your life with a fresh pair of eyes.
What I mean to say is: If you could go back in time much before you married, what are the things that still excite you?
Any hobbies, any professional pursuits?
This is the time to focus very strongly on building a good NOW and a fine future which means you need to pay attention to what is it that fires and fuels you as an individual.
Also reconnect with old friends and build new connections solely from the point of view of a social circle.
This will engage you with fresh idea, thoughts and this energy also helps you parent your children better.
All in all, when you are happy, your children also send back the same vibes to you.
The past cannot be changed and there is no point going back especially because you have decided to move on.
Then move on with a giant powerful stride by focusing on creating, building something new as it you can fill it like a new canvas and share it with your children as well.
Do what it takes to have a positive outlook in life; friends, work, hobbies, thoughts...let each of these be a choice that you make so that you always be in a positive frame of mind.
When, you do feel down and out, allow it BUT remind yourself that you have chosen this path and that you will come out strong no matter what.
Wishing you a wonderful life filled with strength and joy!
