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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 14, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
TP Question by TP on Dec 14, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

My wife abandoned me after 14 years of marriage.
That's ok to me as she was a torture to my parents and me all the time.
The problem is she poisoned my 12 year old son and also emotionally blackmails my son because of which now my son hates me to make his mom happy.
He very rarely answers my calls and never reverts to my messages.
They contact me only when school and class fee are to be paid. Otherwise, I have no whereabouts of my son or what's going on in his life.

Pls advise. I don't wish to get my wife back.

Ans:

Dear TP,

It is unfortunate that the child is caught in this crossfire which never should be the case in the first place.

It is a difficult task to rework the relationship between you and your son as he is more inclined to believe his primary caregiver; which is his mother.

But of course, nothing is impossible. I might want to suggest that you approach a family member who can play a neutral role in bringing your wife to a place where she realises that the role of a father is necessary for the child other than just the financial support.

Also, what made you feel that your son hates you? What gives you an indication to that? But since there is no information on that, I will go by what you have shared.

He must be doing this not just to keep his Mom happy but also he must know that she is his only source of emotional support and that he might lose that if he aligns with you.

You can only try and keep trying that someday he will respond to your calls or texts. Also, a legal separation might assure you visitation rights if you go down that path.

But that’s always the last option as it takes a moment to break a relationship and a lifetime to build one.

So salvage what you have and appeal to someone close to the family to step in and save the day.

All the best!

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I’m married for 14 years and have a 12 yr old son, both working. It was love marriage but before marriage explained me that leaving her ex from her college as it was not true love. After these 14 years, I came to know that they were having physical relation as well and the same hurt me very hard and couldn’t focus on anything and difficult to believe that with whom I spent 14 yr and still there is something can be hidden. Thats not all, on domestic issues whenever we have argument on household work/ expenses/ guiding son on studying etc, if she is not able to answer or didn’t like my response couldn’t control her anger, she tried to stangle me, beat me up, slapping, pour water/ hot tea on me, also not to mention abusing me in front of my son. Also many times she threatened to end her life by taking a knife in hand or by closing door to attempt hanging. That’s why bedroom & washroom door locks are broken in my house. Due to all these I left house twice in these years but due to her repeated apology and affection to my son I returned. Now I think all these are unbearable and need to take some step for resolution. Also as my son is old enough to understand all happenings don’t want ruin his life with all these nuisance. Humble request to advice as I’m under tremendous pain.
Ans: Violence in any form is unacceptable and alone th reason to walk out of the relationship. No one should ensure violence , disrespect or manipulation in any relationship and in your case there are all three of them. In my opinion, you should walk out of this marriage given your partner has proven there's no change at her end.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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We got married in 2011 our marriage was not love but also not arranged... it was our both second marriage... I was very much clear about my past marriage & my life with my wife. I hoped that she was clear about hers, we shifted to our own house after 3 years of marriage along with our son. But within 6 months of shifting her friend visited her & she went to other city for vacation with our son for 15 days. Till now everything was fine, but then everything changed she decided for further studies & build her career accordingly to which I welcomed her decision. But when she completed her further studies she started seeing or treating me lowly on various issues. I came to know that she had some past with her friend who came to visit her. First she started telling everyone as I am not highly educated we are having Financial Crisis & she has to leave home & stay in other city to earn. I work in a reputed firm & I am financially stable. After year or so she started accusing me that I am not a good father & irresponsible towards my duties towards my son. After some years she cam back to the city where we lived but shifted to other residence with the support her friend who was with her from the time she went to study. Now my son is 12 years old & I am supporting her with all financial needs, she has left me alone to stay & have cleared me that she will not come back to stay with me as everything is over. I feel cheated what can I do.
Ans: Your marriage, being both your second, likely carried with it hopes for stability and mutual support. It's commendable that you supported your wife in her decision to further her education and build her career. However, it seems that her behavior and treatment towards you changed significantly after she reconnected with her friend and pursued her studies.

The shift in her attitude, accusations, and decision to live separately must be incredibly hurtful and confusing. Feeling accused of being an inadequate father and being told you are financially unstable, despite your stable job, would naturally cause significant emotional distress. Additionally, her move to a different residence with the support of her friend and her declaration that everything is over must feel like a deep betrayal.

Given the current situation, it's important to focus on a few key areas: understanding your legal rights, seeking emotional support, and planning for the future.

First, it's crucial to understand your legal rights and responsibilities, particularly regarding your son and the financial support you're providing. Consulting with a family law attorney can help clarify your position and ensure that you're fulfilling your obligations while protecting your interests. An attorney can also provide guidance on potential steps if you choose to pursue a separation or divorce.

Emotionally, this is a very challenging time, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be incredibly beneficial. Professional support can help you process your feelings of betrayal, sadness, and confusion. Therapy can also provide a safe space to explore your emotions and develop strategies to cope with this difficult period.

Your son is another critical aspect of this situation. At 12 years old, he is at a sensitive age, and the changes in the family dynamic likely impact him as well. Ensuring that he feels supported and loved is crucial. Open, honest communication with him, tailored to his age and understanding, can help him navigate his feelings about the situation.

As you move forward, it's important to consider your own well-being and future. Reflect on what you need to feel supported and fulfilled. This might include setting boundaries with your wife, seeking more time with your son, or finding new ways to build your own happiness and stability.

Maintaining a focus on clear communication, legal clarity, and emotional support will help you navigate this difficult situation. It's understandable to feel cheated and hurt, but taking steps to understand your rights, seeking professional support, and planning for the future can provide a path forward. You deserve to find stability and happiness, even amidst these challenging circumstances.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir/madam, My target is 2 crore corpus by 45 I just saved 5 lacs earning 1 lac per month.I do SIP in 4 SIP each of 5000 monthly. HDFC Flexi plan direct growth-5000, ICICI prudential bluechip fund direct-5000, Kotak flexi cap fund direct-5000, ICICI prudential transportation and logistics fund direct-5000 Please advice me to achieve my goal by 45 years currently I am 35y
Ans: To achieve a Rs 2 crore corpus by age 45, an SIP of Rs 60,000 per month with a 10% annual increase is indeed a strategic approach. Here’s how this plan can align with your target.

Calculating Your Path to Rs 2 Crore
Current SIP Investment: With a starting SIP of Rs 60,000 per month at a 12% CAGR, your investments have the potential to grow substantially over time.

Annual Step-Up: Increasing your SIP by 10% each year harnesses the power of compounding, helping you reach your goal faster. This incremental increase supports growth to match inflation and your rising income.

Expected Growth Rate: With a 12% CAGR, a disciplined 10-year investment horizon should help you accumulate approximately Rs 2 crore. This CAGR is reasonable for equity mutual funds based on historical performance.

Practical Benefits of This Strategy
Power of Compounding: The combination of a 10% step-up and 12% CAGR significantly accelerates growth, turning monthly contributions into substantial wealth over 10 years.

Simplicity in Execution: A single SIP contribution with a systematic increase each year streamlines your investment process, making it easier to manage.

Steps for Success
Commit to the Annual Step-Up: Consistently increasing SIP contributions is crucial. Even during years with market volatility, stick to the increase for long-term gains.

Portfolio Review with a Certified Financial Planner: Annual reviews ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your goals, especially as you approach the 10-year mark.

Final Insights
An SIP of Rs 60,000 with a 10% annual increase and 12% CAGR is a robust plan for reaching Rs 2 crore in 10 years. With disciplined investing and regular review, this strategy should help you reach your financial target by age 45.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am 42 years hold with monthly salary of 3 lakh after tax deduction. My son is 9 years old, and I want him to become doctor. How much money i need to save or invest for him to become doctor, also how much money I need for my risk-free retirement, if i plan it by 55. Kindly Advise
Ans: At the age of 42, you are earning a stable monthly salary of Rs 3 lakh after tax deductions. You have a 9-year-old son, and your dream is for him to become a doctor. Additionally, you plan to retire by the age of 55. I appreciate your foresight in planning for both your son’s education and your retirement.

It’s essential to address both goals with a structured financial strategy to ensure a secure future for your family. Let's break down how you can achieve these two significant objectives.

Estimating the Cost of Medical Education for Your Son

The cost of becoming a doctor in India can vary greatly. Private medical colleges charge a premium, while government colleges are more affordable.

Currently, the cost of a full medical degree (MBBS) at a private college can range from Rs 30 lakh to Rs 1 crore, depending on the institution. For top-tier colleges, this could go even higher.

If your son gets into a government medical college, the costs will be much lower, possibly around Rs 10 lakh to Rs 15 lakh.

Considering inflation, the cost of education could double in the next 10 years when your son is ready for college. This means you might need to accumulate Rs 1.5 crore to be on the safer side.

It's prudent to start a focused investment plan now. This way, you'll be prepared whether he chooses a private or government medical institution.

Strategic Investment Plan for Your Son’s Education

You should invest in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds to accumulate this corpus. Equities provide high growth potential, while debt ensures stability.

Start a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in actively managed equity mutual funds. This will help you build a sizeable corpus over the next 9 to 10 years.

Consider stepping up your SIP contributions annually. Increasing it by Rs 5,000 to Rs 10,000 every year can significantly boost your fund value.

Avoid index funds as they simply mimic the market and may not deliver high returns over the long term. Actively managed funds, with skilled fund managers, are better suited for higher returns.

You can also use Systematic Transfer Plans (STP) to gradually move from equity to debt funds as your son approaches his medical college admission. This will reduce market risk during the final years.

Building a Risk-Free Retirement Plan by Age 55

Your retirement target is just 13 years away. You will need a substantial corpus to ensure a comfortable, stress-free retirement.

Assuming you want to maintain your current lifestyle, you will likely need at least Rs 1.5 lakh per month post-retirement. Factoring in inflation, this amount could double in 13 years.

To retire with a monthly income of Rs 3 lakh, you may need a retirement corpus of around Rs 6 crore. This will ensure that your investments can generate the required cash flow without depleting the principal.

You should focus on maximizing your existing savings and investing in a balanced portfolio of equity and debt mutual funds. This combination will provide growth and stability.

Steps to Achieve a Secure Retirement Corpus

Increase your existing investments in equity mutual funds. Equities have the potential to deliver inflation-beating returns over the long term.

Invest in diversified equity funds and large-cap funds for stability and growth. These funds can perform well in different market cycles.

Avoid direct equity funds if you are not a seasoned investor. Investing through mutual fund distributors with CFP credentials ensures expert guidance and consistent monitoring.

As you get closer to your retirement, gradually move a portion of your portfolio to debt funds. This shift will protect your accumulated wealth from market volatility.

Debt funds are tax-efficient compared to fixed deposits. They offer indexation benefits, which can lower your tax liability on long-term capital gains.

The Importance of Tax Planning

Under the latest tax rules, equity mutual funds attract long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax at 12.5% if the gains exceed Rs 1.25 lakh annually. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt funds are taxed based on your income tax slab. It's wise to hold debt funds for over three years to avail indexation benefits and reduce your tax outgo.

Plan your withdrawals systematically to stay within the LTCG exemption limit. This will minimize your tax liabilities during retirement.

Setting Up an Emergency Fund and Adequate Insurance

Ensure that you have an emergency fund of at least 12 months' worth of expenses. Keep this amount in a liquid fund for easy access.

You should also have adequate term insurance to protect your family's financial future in your absence. The cover should be at least 10 times your annual income.

Additionally, review your health insurance policy to cover unforeseen medical expenses. As you approach retirement, healthcare costs are likely to increase.

Avoiding Real Estate and Other Risky Investments

Real estate investments require significant capital and lack liquidity. It may not be the best option if you are aiming for a flexible, liquid portfolio.

Focus instead on mutual funds, which offer higher returns, tax efficiency, and easy access to your money when needed.

Avoid mixing insurance with investments. Do not consider ULIPs, endowment plans, or any investment-cum-insurance policies. These often come with high charges and low returns.

Reviewing Your Financial Plan Regularly

It's important to review your investment portfolio annually. This ensures that your funds are performing optimally and aligned with your goals.

A certified financial planner (CFP) can help you adjust your portfolio based on changing market conditions, new tax laws, and your evolving needs.

Rebalance your investments periodically to lock in profits from high-performing funds and reinvest in underperforming areas with growth potential.

Additional Strategies to Accelerate Your Goals

Consider investing any annual bonuses or extra income into your SIPs or lump sum investments. This will further boost your retirement and education funds.

You can also explore side income opportunities or upskill in your current profession to increase your earnings. This additional income can help increase your savings rate.

Start exploring Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs) for some diversification. These bonds offer tax-free returns on maturity and can serve as a hedge against inflation.

Finally

You have a clear vision for your son’s future and your retirement. Your steady income and disciplined approach are strong assets.

Focus on increasing your SIPs, diversifying your investments, and planning your taxes efficiently.

Stay consistent with your financial strategy. By following this structured approach, you can achieve both your goals well in time.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear Mr. Ramalingam Kalirajan, I am 43 years old, with 39 year wife and 7 year daughter. Between myself and wife, we draw 1.6 Cr per annum as salary. Currently our portfolio stands at 8 Cr+, consisting of: 1) 2.3 Cr in US stocks 2) 1.9 Cr in real estate (plots of land) 3) 1.8 Cr in Mutual funds in India 4) 0.75 Cr in Equities in India 4) 0.7 Cr in PF 5) 22L in PPF 6) 26L in SGBs 7) 75L in Cash/FDs 8) 10L in NPS 9) 25L in Gold 10) 20L in LIC policies 11) 10L in Medical Insurance 12) Additional 3L in SSY One Loan worth 40L. Our monthly expenses is approx 1.8L Kindly let me know whether with this investment, when can we retire?
Ans: Your current portfolio and income level offer a strong foundation, and with some tailored planning, you can achieve a comfortable retirement.

Current Portfolio Assessment
Your financial assets stand at an impressive Rs 8 crore+ diversified across Indian and US equities, mutual funds, real estate, gold, and provident fund instruments. The following is a high-level review of each segment:

US Stocks: With Rs 2.3 crore in US equities, you benefit from global diversification. However, US markets can be volatile, and currency risks may impact returns.

Indian Mutual Funds: Rs 1.8 crore in mutual funds provides a balanced exposure to India’s economic growth. Actively managed funds, as in your case, often perform better than passive index funds during volatile times, thanks to professional fund management.

Real Estate: Rs 1.9 crore invested in plots can be beneficial for capital appreciation, though liquidity can be an issue.

Provident Funds: PF and PPF investments totalling nearly Rs 92 lakh offer stability and tax-efficient growth, ensuring a low-risk component in your portfolio.

Gold and Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs): Rs 25 lakh in gold and Rs 26 lakh in SGBs is wise for hedging against inflation. SGBs also provide annual interest, adding to your cash flow.

NPS: Rs 10 lakh in the NPS provides a good long-term pension-building tool, with tax benefits as well.

Cash/FDs and SSY: With Rs 75 lakh in cash and fixed deposits, along with Rs 3 lakh in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), you have liquid and secure funds. SSY also benefits your daughter's future education needs.

Insurance: You have Rs 20 lakh in LIC policies and Rs 10 lakh in medical insurance. LIC policies offer low returns, so there could be better options.

Monthly Income Needs and Expenses
Your monthly expenses are approximately Rs 1.8 lakh, which translates to Rs 21.6 lakh annually. To retire, you’ll need to ensure your portfolio can generate sufficient cash flow to meet these needs while adjusting for inflation.

When Can You Retire?
Let’s analyze a few factors in deciding your retirement age:

Current Wealth and Inflation: The Rs 8 crore+ portfolio is substantial. However, assuming retirement in the near term, your wealth must outpace inflation to sustain lifestyle costs. Healthcare inflation, in particular, is rising faster than general inflation, which is essential to consider.

Target Corpus for Retirement: Based on your expenses and the 1.8 lakh monthly need, a sustainable corpus would require generating regular income without depleting the principal. A retirement corpus around Rs 10-12 crore, invested smartly, should suffice.

Projected Asset Growth: Your mutual funds, equities, and provident funds are likely to grow at a rate above inflation over the years. A mix of debt and equity allocations, with regular rebalancing, can further optimize returns.

Considering your assets and income, you could potentially retire within the next five years if you follow these steps:

Steps to Achieve a Comfortable Retirement
1. Consolidate and Optimize Your Portfolio
Evaluate LIC Policies: Traditional insurance policies like LIC typically yield low returns, often not keeping up with inflation. Surrendering these and reinvesting in mutual funds can increase returns and offer better liquidity.

Debt Reduction: Your Rs 40 lakh loan should ideally be cleared before retirement. This will reduce monthly expenses and allow you to allocate more funds toward growth investments.

Limit Cash Holdings: With Rs 75 lakh in cash and FDs, you have a substantial amount in low-yield instruments. Consider moving part of this into balanced or debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.

Enhance Equity Allocation in India: Indian equities historically offer high returns over the long term. Given your risk capacity, boosting exposure to large and mid-cap mutual funds can help counter inflation.

2. Increase Exposure to Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Advantages of Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds can outperform passive index funds, especially in volatile markets, by utilizing research-driven strategies. Your existing Rs 1.8 crore in mutual funds can be expanded with selective additions to diversified funds.

Utilize Regular Funds: Direct funds often lack guidance from certified professionals, which could lead to missed opportunities. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) with regular funds helps in maintaining structured growth with regular advice.

3. Maximize NPS Contributions for Tax Efficiency
Increasing your monthly contributions to the National Pension System (NPS) can offer a larger retirement corpus while giving you tax benefits under Section 80CCD.
4. Systematic Withdrawal Planning
Upon retirement, a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from your mutual fund corpus can help meet monthly expenses in a tax-efficient manner. Since SWP withdrawals are taxed only on the gains portion, it’s more tax-efficient than traditional withdrawals.

SGB Interest and Dividend Income: The Rs 26 lakh in SGBs provides annual interest income, which can add to your monthly cash flow. Dividend-paying stocks and funds can further supplement this income.

5. Health and Life Insurance Review
While you already have Rs 10 lakh in health insurance, consider an additional health insurance policy for critical illness or top-up covers. Medical costs tend to rise, especially in retirement.
6. Create a Contingency Fund for Emergencies
You can allocate part of your FDs or liquid funds as a contingency fund for emergencies. This fund should cover at least two years’ worth of expenses, so around Rs 35-40 lakh should be set aside.
Final Insights
With your impressive asset base, you’re well on track toward early retirement. Implementing these strategies could enable you to retire comfortably within the next five years while maintaining your lifestyle and financial security.

The key will be continuous review and fine-tuning of your portfolio, considering both growth and protection. With disciplined planning, you can achieve a financially secure, stress-free retirement for yourself and your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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