My wife abandoned me after 14 years of marriage.
That's ok to me as she was a torture to my parents and me all the time.
The problem is she poisoned my 12 year old son and also emotionally blackmails my son because of which now my son hates me to make his mom happy.
He very rarely answers my calls and never reverts to my messages.
They contact me only when school and class fee are to be paid. Otherwise, I have no whereabouts of my son or what's going on in his life.
Pls advise. I don't wish to get my wife back.

Ans:

Dear TP,

Have you considered legal separation?

The reason I ask this is, you can have visitation rights to your son through legal recourse.

It is unfortunate that your wife has not allowed your son to form his relationship with you. But emotions running high can either cerate or ruin things depending on what the perceptions are.

A 12-year-old needs his mother, and he is impressionable and the emotional blackmail along with your wife leaving home has left him scarred.

As a child, he needs to be loved and provided a loving home.

So obviously, he is going to lean into the parent with who je is currently living with.

If you do have a choice of someone being able to talk to your wife and help patch things up, kindly do that else legal separation seems the only way to be able to maintain some contact with your son.

All the best!

Ans: Violence in any form is unacceptable and alone th reason to walk out of the relationship. No one should ensure violence , disrespect or manipulation in any relationship and in your case there are all three of them. In my opinion, you should walk out of this marriage given your partner has proven there's no change at her end.

Ans: Dear Chandra,
It is unfortunate that you have had to go through this. I am sure that you son also has been affected by all of this.
If I understand this correctly, is your wife attempting a reconciliation and wants to have her family back?
If you and your son have a clear decision on not wanting this, I suggest that the three of you meet and hear what she has to say.
Maybe she feels sorry for all that has happened. Hearing her will offer her some respite and also you can convey your decision on not getting back clearly in a respectful way.
Also, your son may or may not want to have a connection with his mother...but give that a chance as well and let them decide that...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It seems clear that your wife does not want a reconciliation. If that is the case, it's better to engage a lawyer that can clearly state the terms of divorce settlement. If mutual consent does not work, this might not be very amicable...hence the lawyer drawing up the terms is a wise option.
I understand that you might want to give the marriage another chance, but if she is unwilling, what can you do? Try and request her for one conversation and express your desire to reconcile...but if she is firm...don't push the agony anymore...find a capable lawyer who knows how to draft a clear agreement of what you want to retain and what is fair for her. Also, if she isn't taking care of the child, then it becomes evident that you are responsible solely for him.
Think quickly and wisely and do the right thing...

All the best!

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.