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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 14, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
TP Question by TP on Dec 14, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

My wife abandoned me after 14 years of marriage.
That's ok to me as she was a torture to my parents and me all the time.
The problem is she poisoned my 12 year old son and also emotionally blackmails my son because of which now my son hates me to make his mom happy.
He very rarely answers my calls and never reverts to my messages.
They contact me only when school and class fee are to be paid. Otherwise, I have no whereabouts of my son or what's going on in his life.

Pls advise. I don't wish to get my wife back.

Ans:

Dear TP,

It is unfortunate that the child is caught in this crossfire which never should be the case in the first place.

It is a difficult task to rework the relationship between you and your son as he is more inclined to believe his primary caregiver; which is his mother.

But of course, nothing is impossible. I might want to suggest that you approach a family member who can play a neutral role in bringing your wife to a place where she realises that the role of a father is necessary for the child other than just the financial support.

Also, what made you feel that your son hates you? What gives you an indication to that? But since there is no information on that, I will go by what you have shared.

He must be doing this not just to keep his Mom happy but also he must know that she is his only source of emotional support and that he might lose that if he aligns with you.

You can only try and keep trying that someday he will respond to your calls or texts. Also, a legal separation might assure you visitation rights if you go down that path.

But that’s always the last option as it takes a moment to break a relationship and a lifetime to build one.

So salvage what you have and appeal to someone close to the family to step in and save the day.

All the best!

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I’m married for 14 years and have a 12 yr old son, both working. It was love marriage but before marriage explained me that leaving her ex from her college as it was not true love. After these 14 years, I came to know that they were having physical relation as well and the same hurt me very hard and couldn’t focus on anything and difficult to believe that with whom I spent 14 yr and still there is something can be hidden. Thats not all, on domestic issues whenever we have argument on household work/ expenses/ guiding son on studying etc, if she is not able to answer or didn’t like my response couldn’t control her anger, she tried to stangle me, beat me up, slapping, pour water/ hot tea on me, also not to mention abusing me in front of my son. Also many times she threatened to end her life by taking a knife in hand or by closing door to attempt hanging. That’s why bedroom & washroom door locks are broken in my house. Due to all these I left house twice in these years but due to her repeated apology and affection to my son I returned. Now I think all these are unbearable and need to take some step for resolution. Also as my son is old enough to understand all happenings don’t want ruin his life with all these nuisance. Humble request to advice as I’m under tremendous pain.
Ans: Violence in any form is unacceptable and alone th reason to walk out of the relationship. No one should ensure violence , disrespect or manipulation in any relationship and in your case there are all three of them. In my opinion, you should walk out of this marriage given your partner has proven there's no change at her end.

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Mam , I am married since 2000. I have a male child.My wife is a working lady doing Govt. service . Since 2017 I found her behavior towards me & my child has completely changed . She always used to tell lie .She has affair with one of her colleague . She is being completely supported by her family specifically her mother.Without my knowledge she borrowed around 10 lakhs from neighbors of my rented premise at high rate of interest. When the matter come to my knowledge I cleared 7 Lakhs taking loan from Bank . After that she took more loan & left me. Since then , I never inquired about her, never lodge FIR or apply for divorce.I tried to forget her. I have no affair or any mood for remarriage . Rather ,I took care of my child & after rigorous follow up & support , my son cleared NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.My son is aware of everything.He also has no interest towards her mother. In the mean time she has cleared my bank loan & trying to come to me.For this she is pressurizing me.She has no changes.Please suggest what to do.I have no interest towards her.
Ans: Dear Chandra,
It is unfortunate that you have had to go through this. I am sure that you son also has been affected by all of this.
If I understand this correctly, is your wife attempting a reconciliation and wants to have her family back?
If you and your son have a clear decision on not wanting this, I suggest that the three of you meet and hear what she has to say.
Maybe she feels sorry for all that has happened. Hearing her will offer her some respite and also you can convey your decision on not getting back clearly in a respectful way.
Also, your son may or may not want to have a connection with his mother...but give that a chance as well and let them decide that...

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
My wife aged 40 years left me after 20 years of marriage. We had one son aged 19 years also. She is citing mental torture by me as the main reason for her decision. She is never allowing to negotiate on the separation issue and is refusing to attend meetings with parents, elders, relationship counceller etc. She only tells that she had suffered a lot till now and will never stay with me in future. She insists for settlement of a house or equivalent money in cash and divorce. I insisted that the past disputes were minor in nature and not sufficient ground for divorce/separation and assured that I will be more careful in future and will never make her sad. Still she is reluctant and avoids any thing that brings reunion possible. She is not having any crush on another person but intends to live a solitude life. She found a job and is living independently without my son. Pl guide me what to do TSR
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It seems clear that your wife does not want a reconciliation. If that is the case, it's better to engage a lawyer that can clearly state the terms of divorce settlement. If mutual consent does not work, this might not be very amicable...hence the lawyer drawing up the terms is a wise option.
I understand that you might want to give the marriage another chance, but if she is unwilling, what can you do? Try and request her for one conversation and express your desire to reconcile...but if she is firm...don't push the agony anymore...find a capable lawyer who knows how to draft a clear agreement of what you want to retain and what is fair for her. Also, if she isn't taking care of the child, then it becomes evident that you are responsible solely for him.
Think quickly and wisely and do the right thing...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |440 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Money
Hello Vivek Sir, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi Sanjay,

It is great that you are investing since 2017. Long investments and patience always gives results.
You can easily achieve your goal corpus by the time you turn 58, if investment done correctly.
The funds you mentioned have so much overlapping and scattered. It needs rework and complete reallocation. Maximum of 5 funds should be there. Take the help of a professional to align your portfolio with your goal and customized profile.
A random portfolio like yours can create an opposite impact.
Also try to increase the monthly SIP by 10% each year. This will take care of inflation power.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10925 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Money
Hello sir , I am 62 yrs and now have 25 lakh surplus money , where to invest if mutual fuds please recommend the good funds to me with %.thanks
Ans: Your discipline in building surplus funds deserves genuine appreciation.
Reaching this stage reflects patience, planning, and financial maturity.
At 62, your focus rightly shifts toward stability and steady income.
At the same time, growth must continue to fight inflation.
A balanced approach is therefore very important now.

» Age, Life Stage, and Investment Context
You are in the early retirement transition phase.
Capital protection becomes more important than aggressive growth.
Regular income matters more than high returns now.
Volatility should be controlled carefully.
Liquidity should be available for emergencies.
Tax efficiency must be managed smartly.

Mutual funds still suit this phase well.
They offer flexibility, transparency, and diversification.
They also allow gradual withdrawals when needed.

» Core Investment Philosophy at 62
Your money must work without stressing you.
Every rupee should have a clear purpose.
Risk should be measured and intentional.
Returns should be reasonable and repeatable.
Cash flow should feel predictable.

Avoid chasing market highs at this age.
Avoid locking funds for very long periods.
Avoid complicated structures and opaque products.

» Recommended Asset Allocation for Rs.25 Lakh
This allocation balances safety, income, and growth.
It also manages market ups and downs.

– Equity-oriented mutual funds: 35%
– Debt-oriented mutual funds: 55%
– Hybrid-oriented mutual funds: 10%

This structure keeps volatility under control.
It also allows reasonable growth over time.

» Role of Equity Mutual Funds at Your Age
Equity is still necessary even after 60.
Inflation reduces purchasing power every year.
Medical costs rise faster than general inflation.
Equity helps your money stay relevant.

However, equity exposure must be limited.
It must also be diversified and disciplined.

» Equity Mutual Fund Allocation – 35%
This equals around Rs.8.75 lakh.

Suggested internal split is as follows.

– Large, established companies focused funds: 25%
– Flexibly managed equity strategies: 10%

Large company exposure provides stability.
Business models are proven and resilient.
Earnings visibility is generally better.

Flexible equity strategies add adaptability.
Fund managers adjust based on market conditions.
This reduces risk during market corrections.

Avoid aggressive mid and small company focus now.
They bring sharp volatility and emotional stress.

» Why Actively Managed Equity Funds Matter
Markets are not always efficient in India.
Corporate governance quality varies widely.
Sector cycles change unpredictably.

Active managers can avoid weak businesses.
They can reduce exposure during excess valuations.
They can increase quality bias during uncertainty.

This flexibility matters more after retirement.

» Debt Mutual Funds as the Stability Anchor
Debt funds will form your portfolio backbone.
They provide stability and predictable behaviour.
They also support regular income planning.

At 62, debt allocation should dominate.
It protects capital during equity market falls.

» Debt Mutual Fund Allocation – 55%
This equals around Rs.13.75 lakh.

Suggested internal structure is below.

– Short maturity focused debt strategies: 25%
– Medium duration debt strategies: 15%
– Conservative income-oriented debt strategies: 15%

Short maturity funds reduce interest rate risk.
They are suitable for near-term needs.
They offer better predictability.

Medium duration funds balance return and risk.
They work well for three to five years horizon.

Income-oriented debt strategies support steady cash flow.
They also smooth overall portfolio returns.

Avoid credit risk heavy strategies at this stage.
Chasing extra yield can damage capital.

» Tax View on Debt Mutual Funds
Debt fund gains are taxed at slab rates.
This applies to both short and long holding periods.
Plan withdrawals in lower income years.
This improves post-tax outcomes.

» Hybrid Mutual Funds – Limited but Useful
Hybrid funds combine equity and debt exposure.
They reduce volatility through internal balancing.
They simplify allocation management.

However, allocation must remain limited.

» Hybrid Mutual Fund Allocation – 10%
This equals around Rs.2.5 lakh.

Choose conservative hybrid orientation only.
Debt portion should dominate clearly.
Equity portion should be controlled.

This segment acts as a shock absorber.
It also supports smoother returns.

» Liquidity and Emergency Planning
Always keep liquid access available.
Unexpected medical or family needs can arise.

Ensure at least twelve months expenses remain accessible.
This can be through savings or liquid-oriented funds.
Do not invest entire surplus tightly.

» Withdrawal Strategy Planning
Investment is only half the journey.
Withdrawal planning matters equally now.

Use a staggered withdrawal approach.
Avoid redeeming equity during market downturns.
Withdraw debt portion first during volatility.

This protects long-term growth potential.

» Market Volatility and Emotional Comfort
Market corrections are unavoidable.
Your portfolio must allow peaceful sleep.

The suggested allocation reduces panic risk.
It avoids sharp portfolio swings.

Emotional comfort is a hidden return.
It matters greatly after retirement.

» Rebalancing Discipline
Portfolio balance will change over time.
Equity may grow faster in bull markets.

Review allocation once every year.
Shift excess equity gains into debt.
This protects accumulated profits.

Do not rebalance too frequently.
Avoid reacting to short-term noise.

» Inflation Protection Over Retirement Years
Inflation silently erodes fixed incomes.
Medical inflation is especially dangerous.

Equity exposure counters this risk.
Active management further improves protection.

Without equity, retirement corpus shrinks in real terms.

» Estate and Nomination Discipline
Ensure nominations are updated everywhere.
This includes mutual funds and bank accounts.

Create a clear will if absent.
This avoids future family disputes.

Review beneficiaries regularly.

» What Not to Do at This Stage
Avoid chasing high return promises.
Avoid locking funds into illiquid structures.
Avoid concentration in single themes.
Avoid frequent portfolio tinkering.

Simplicity supports longevity planning.

» Monitoring and Review Framework
Review portfolio annually, not daily.
Track alignment with life needs.
Adjust only if life circumstances change.

Market noise should not guide actions.

» Final Insights
You have reached a position of strength.
Your surplus reflects years of discipline.
The goal now is sustainability, not speed.

A balanced mutual fund approach fits well.
It offers growth, income, and flexibility.
It respects your age and responsibilities.

With proper allocation and patience,
your money can support you comfortably.

Stay invested with clarity and confidence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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