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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |444 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

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Relationship
Mam , I am married since 2000. I have a male child.My wife is a working lady doing Govt. service . Since 2017 I found her behavior towards me & my child has completely changed . She always used to tell lie .She has affair with one of her colleague . She is being completely supported by her family specifically her mother.Without my knowledge she borrowed around 10 lakhs from neighbors of my rented premise at high rate of interest. When the matter come to my knowledge I cleared 7 Lakhs taking loan from Bank . After that she took more loan & left me. Since then , I never inquired about her, never lodge FIR or apply for divorce.I tried to forget her. I have no affair or any mood for remarriage . Rather ,I took care of my child & after rigorous follow up & support , my son cleared NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.My son is aware of everything.He also has no interest towards her mother. In the mean time she has cleared my bank loan & trying to come to me.For this she is pressurizing me.She has no changes.Please suggest what to do.I have no interest towards her.
Ans: Dear Chandra,
It is unfortunate that you have had to go through this. I am sure that you son also has been affected by all of this.
If I understand this correctly, is your wife attempting a reconciliation and wants to have her family back?
If you and your son have a clear decision on not wanting this, I suggest that the three of you meet and hear what she has to say.
Maybe she feels sorry for all that has happened. Hearing her will offer her some respite and also you can convey your decision on not getting back clearly in a respectful way.
Also, your son may or may not want to have a connection with his mother...but give that a chance as well and let them decide that...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I have second marriage and staying 9 years. Now my age is 50 years, and my wife age is 40. We have a 6-year-old son. Me working in a managerial position in an industry, and she is a houses wife. During our married life I have been noticed that no interest in married life. She has no expectation from married life, no responsibility and duty performed towards married life. Always avoid from responsibility and duty. Through the married life she has been found liar in nature and dirty woman very much. Now our son also tells lie and his mother provoke it. I and very much upset for this liar nature. At the time of she tells false about her educational qualification. Though we are staying in a home but staying separate room. My wife nature and behaviour are completely different from her sibling. Now I suspect that she may be illegal issue of her mother. I have maintained the married life only because of considering son future and not find any matching partner. Please advise me how to grow up my son and how to take care him. If I go for divorce what problem, son may face and how to take care him.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are upset with your wife and that is evident. Leave it at that...there is no need to justify this thought by imagining that she might be an illegal child of her mother etc...it does not help you or your case!
Stick to what is bothering you...Ask yourself if you want to continue in the marriage or not...if you are holding back because of your son, then be prepared to accept your wife as she is OR tell her what it is that you do not like about her as qualities. You say that she lies; state clearly what she is lying about...State that you are upset that she lied about her educational qualifications...
State clearly what responsibilities towards married life she hasn't yet fulfilled.
Without this communication, your dislike for her will only increase and you will find more reasons to justify this dislike. Instead, find a way to make things better...I am sure that she will also want this for the sake of your 6-year old son...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |444 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We got married in 2011 our marriage was not love but also not arranged... it was our both second marriage... I was very much clear about my past marriage & my life with my wife. I hoped that she was clear about hers, we shifted to our own house after 3 years of marriage along with our son. But within 6 months of shifting her friend visited her & she went to other city for vacation with our son for 15 days. Till now everything was fine, but then everything changed she decided for further studies & build her career accordingly to which I welcomed her decision. But when she completed her further studies she started seeing or treating me lowly on various issues. I came to know that she had some past with her friend who came to visit her. First she started telling everyone as I am not highly educated we are having Financial Crisis & she has to leave home & stay in other city to earn. I work in a reputed firm & I am financially stable. After year or so she started accusing me that I am not a good father & irresponsible towards my duties towards my son. After some years she cam back to the city where we lived but shifted to other residence with the support her friend who was with her from the time she went to study. Now my son is 12 years old & I am supporting her with all financial needs, she has left me alone to stay & have cleared me that she will not come back to stay with me as everything is over. I feel cheated what can I do.
Ans: Your marriage, being both your second, likely carried with it hopes for stability and mutual support. It's commendable that you supported your wife in her decision to further her education and build her career. However, it seems that her behavior and treatment towards you changed significantly after she reconnected with her friend and pursued her studies.

The shift in her attitude, accusations, and decision to live separately must be incredibly hurtful and confusing. Feeling accused of being an inadequate father and being told you are financially unstable, despite your stable job, would naturally cause significant emotional distress. Additionally, her move to a different residence with the support of her friend and her declaration that everything is over must feel like a deep betrayal.

Given the current situation, it's important to focus on a few key areas: understanding your legal rights, seeking emotional support, and planning for the future.

First, it's crucial to understand your legal rights and responsibilities, particularly regarding your son and the financial support you're providing. Consulting with a family law attorney can help clarify your position and ensure that you're fulfilling your obligations while protecting your interests. An attorney can also provide guidance on potential steps if you choose to pursue a separation or divorce.

Emotionally, this is a very challenging time, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be incredibly beneficial. Professional support can help you process your feelings of betrayal, sadness, and confusion. Therapy can also provide a safe space to explore your emotions and develop strategies to cope with this difficult period.

Your son is another critical aspect of this situation. At 12 years old, he is at a sensitive age, and the changes in the family dynamic likely impact him as well. Ensuring that he feels supported and loved is crucial. Open, honest communication with him, tailored to his age and understanding, can help him navigate his feelings about the situation.

As you move forward, it's important to consider your own well-being and future. Reflect on what you need to feel supported and fulfilled. This might include setting boundaries with your wife, seeking more time with your son, or finding new ways to build your own happiness and stability.

Maintaining a focus on clear communication, legal clarity, and emotional support will help you navigate this difficult situation. It's understandable to feel cheated and hurt, but taking steps to understand your rights, seeking professional support, and planning for the future can provide a path forward. You deserve to find stability and happiness, even amidst these challenging circumstances.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7335 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Money
Sir Namaste, I have been investing 20000 in almost Funds approx 18 funds, and in some funds 1 Lakhs total investments value is 25 Lakhs, few are performing well and few are under performing, I'm 44 years old,,, Large, Mid And Small Funds with ratio of 40% - 50%- 10%..
Ans: At age 44, having Rs. 25 lakhs invested in mutual funds is commendable. However, managing 18 funds may create unnecessary complexity. Below is a detailed evaluation of your portfolio and suggestions to optimise it for better performance and alignment with your goals.

Strengths of Your Portfolio
Significant Investment Corpus
You have built a sizeable corpus, which is a strong financial base.

Diversification Across Market Caps
Allocating 40% to large-cap, 50% to mid-cap, and 10% to small-cap is balanced.

Focus on Long-Term Investing
Staying invested for the long term helps in compounding wealth.

Areas for Improvement
1. Over-diversification

Holding 18 funds may result in overlapping stocks and reduced diversification benefits.
Tracking and managing so many funds can be challenging.
Recommendation

Consolidate your portfolio to 5-7 funds across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap categories.
2. Underperforming Funds

Some funds in your portfolio are not performing well.
Continuing with such funds may drag down overall returns.
Recommendation

Review the 3-year and 5-year performance of each fund against its benchmark.
Replace consistently underperforming funds with better-performing ones.
3. Small-Cap Allocation

Small-cap funds have higher growth potential but also higher volatility.
A 10% allocation may not significantly impact overall returns.
Recommendation

Increase small-cap exposure to 15%-20% if you can handle moderate risk.
4. Fund Overlap

Multiple funds in similar categories (e.g., large-cap or mid-cap) may hold the same stocks.
This limits the benefits of diversification.
Recommendation

Use fund analysis tools to identify overlapping holdings.
Retain funds with distinct investment strategies.
Optimised Portfolio Allocation
Here is a suggested allocation for better management:

Large-Cap Funds (40%-50%): Stable returns with low volatility.
Mid-Cap Funds (30%-40%): High growth potential with moderate risk.
Small-Cap Funds (15%-20%): Higher returns for long-term goals.
Steps to Optimise Your Portfolio
1. Consolidate Funds

Retain 2 large-cap, 2 mid-cap, and 1 small-cap fund.
Add a flexi-cap fund for dynamic allocation across market caps.
2. Increase SIP Contributions

If feasible, increase monthly SIP amounts to enhance long-term corpus.
Prioritise funds with consistent performance and low expense ratios.
3. Rebalance Annually

Review your portfolio once a year to align with market conditions.
Rebalance to maintain your desired asset allocation.
4. Focus on Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds can outperform the market in India.
Avoid index funds or ETFs as they limit flexibility and adaptability.
5. Monitor Performance Regularly

Track fund performance against benchmarks and peers.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for detailed insights.
Tax Considerations
Equity mutual funds attract LTCG tax of 12.5% for gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh.
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
Recommendation

Avoid frequent redemptions to minimise tax liabilities.
Redeem funds strategically to maximise tax efficiency.
Final Insights
Your portfolio shows strong financial discipline and focus on long-term goals.

Consolidating your funds will simplify management and improve returns.

Focus on high-performing funds while maintaining diversification across market caps.

Rebalancing annually will help in staying aligned with your financial objectives.

Stay invested with discipline to achieve your financial milestones.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7335 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
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Money
Namaste ???? ji Mere pass 2 lac rupees saving hai mujhe bataye mein kis sector me invest karu ya fir koi achhe stock jo king term k liye best ho apni ray de?
Ans: It’s great that you are considering investing for the long term. Here is a detailed plan for you:

Start with a Diversified Mutual Fund
Direct investment in stocks requires time, research, and expertise.

A diversified mutual fund is better for beginners and long-term growth.

Choose actively managed flexi-cap or large-cap equity funds.

These funds balance risk and reward effectively.

Avoid Sector-Specific Investments Initially
Sectoral funds or stocks (like technology, pharma) are volatile.
Invest in these only after building basic financial knowledge.
Build a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Instead of investing Rs. 2 lakh at once, use SIPs.
Invest Rs. 10,000–20,000 monthly in equity mutual funds.
This spreads risk and captures market fluctuations effectively.
Emergency Fund First
Keep at least Rs. 50,000 in a savings account or liquid fund.
This acts as a safety net for emergencies.
For Direct Stock Investment
If you want to invest in stocks:

Focus on companies with strong fundamentals and consistent growth.
Avoid high-risk penny stocks or speculative trades.
Look into large-cap companies with leadership in their industries.
Examples of industries to consider:

Banking and Financials: Well-established players for consistent returns.
Consumer Goods: Reliable performance even in volatile markets.
IT Sector: Long-term growth prospects with global exposure.
Key Points to Remember
Invest with a horizon of at least 5-10 years for meaningful growth.
Diversify your investments to reduce risk.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for detailed guidance.
Stay disciplined and avoid emotional decisions during market fluctuations.
Final Insights
Starting with mutual funds is the safest and most efficient way.

Direct stocks require significant time and understanding.

Ensure your investments align with your goals and risk tolerance.

With the right approach, Rs. 2 lakh can grow into significant wealth over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7335 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Nikunjji, i am 45 years old & taken the following Mutual fund SIP for long term (approx 15-20 yrs) 1) Aditya birla sunlife india Gen next fund growth @ Rs. 3000/- per month 2) HDFC retirement saving fund equity plan growth plan growth option - Rs.10000/- per month 3) Aditya birla sunlife digital india fund- growth plan - Rs. 5000/- per month 4) Nippon india large cap fund - growth plan - Rs100000 lumsum 5) Parag parikh flexi cap fund-growth - Rs. 100000 lumsum 6) HDFC flexi cap fund growth option - Rs. 50000 lumsum 7) Aditya birla sunlife equity hybrid 95 fund growth - Rs. 50000 lumsum Request you to please review my above plan & advise taking into consideration the long term planning
Ans: Your portfolio reflects a disciplined approach to long-term wealth creation. Investing with a horizon of 15-20 years is an excellent strategy. Below is a detailed assessment and suggestions for optimisation.

Strengths of Your Portfolio
Diversification Across Asset Classes
Your portfolio includes equity-focused funds and hybrid funds. This diversification reduces risks.

Allocation to Flexi-Cap Funds
Including flexi-cap funds provides balanced exposure to large, mid, and small-cap companies.

Focus on Growth
Growth options in your funds allow compounding over the long term.

Systematic Investments
SIPs ensure disciplined investing and rupee-cost averaging.

Lump Sum Investments
Lump sum investments supplement SIPs by capturing market opportunities.

Areas for Improvement
1. Portfolio Overlap

Multiple funds in your portfolio might overlap in underlying investments.
For instance, flexi-cap and large-cap funds may invest in similar stocks.
Overlap reduces diversification benefits.
Recommendation

Evaluate fund portfolios with a Certified Financial Planner to identify overlap.
Retain funds with distinct investment strategies.
2. Sectoral Funds Risk

Sectoral funds focus on specific industries like technology or consumption.
These funds are highly volatile and carry higher risk.
Recommendation

Limit sectoral fund exposure to 10% of your portfolio.
Instead, focus on diversified funds for consistent growth.
3. Hybrid Fund Allocation

Hybrid funds mix equity and debt, offering balanced risk and returns.
However, they might underperform pure equity funds in long bull markets.
Recommendation

Reassess hybrid fund allocation based on your risk tolerance.
Consider increasing equity fund allocation for long-term goals.
4. Tax Efficiency

Equity mutual funds have specific tax implications under new rules:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%.
Recommendation

Plan withdrawals to optimise tax liabilities.
Avoid frequent withdrawals to maximise compounding.
Suggestions for Portfolio Optimisation
1. Consolidate Mutual Funds

Retain 4-5 funds across different categories: large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap.
This reduces complexity and improves portfolio tracking.
2. Increase SIP Contributions

SIPs offer the advantage of disciplined investing and rupee-cost averaging.
Increase your SIPs gradually to enhance long-term corpus.
3. Focus on Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds outperform index funds in emerging markets like India.
They adapt to market conditions and deliver superior returns.
4. Review Fund Performance Annually

Monitor fund performance against benchmarks and peers.
Replace consistently underperforming funds after consulting a Certified Financial Planner.
5. Maintain an Emergency Fund

Keep 6-12 months’ expenses in a liquid fund or FD.
This ensures liquidity for unforeseen needs.
Retirement Planning Considerations
1. Corpus Target of Rs. 8 Crores

Achieving Rs. 8 crore requires consistent investments and strategic planning.
SIPs and lump sums in equity mutual funds are ideal for wealth creation.
2. Inflation Adjustment

Plan your retirement corpus keeping inflation at 6-7% annually in mind.
Ensure your investment strategy beats inflation over the long term.
3. Health Coverage

Health costs rise significantly in retirement.
Review your health insurance coverage to ensure sufficient protection.
4. Withdrawal Strategy

Adopt a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) in retirement.
This ensures steady income while preserving your corpus.
Additional Considerations
1. Avoid Emotional Decisions

Market volatility is normal in long-term investments.
Stick to your plan and avoid reacting to short-term fluctuations.
2. Revisit Goals Periodically

Review your financial goals every 2-3 years.
Adjust your portfolio if your financial situation or goals change.
3. Stay Informed

Understand the funds you invest in.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner for insights and guidance.
4. Avoid Direct Funds

Direct funds may seem cost-effective but lack expert advice.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures informed decisions.
Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured for long-term wealth creation.

Consolidate funds to reduce overlap and complexity.

Focus on actively managed funds for superior returns.

Limit sectoral exposure to balance risk and reward.

Maintain discipline in SIPs and stay invested for the long term.

With these strategies, you can achieve your financial goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024
Relationship
I have a question that I’ve been too embarrassed to ask anyone, but I feel like it’s time to get some clarity. I’m a woman in my early 30s, in a stable relationship, but recently, I’ve been noticing something that’s throwing me off track. I’ve been having a lot of intense sexual thoughts that I can’t seem to shake off. It's not just about attraction to my partner; these thoughts are more spontaneous and often come at the most random moments. They feel almost uncontrollable, and it’s starting to affect how I see myself. I feel like I’m living in two worlds – one where I’m a responsible adult, and the other where these lustful feelings seem to take over, and it’s hard to focus on anything else. I’ve tried suppressing them, distracting myself, but it feels like they come back stronger, almost like my mind has a mind of its own! It’s frustrating, and honestly, I’m not sure if I should feel guilty or empowered by these urges. How do I handle this without feeling like I’m losing control? Any tips on how to balance my desires with my everyday life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Lust and behaviors that arise from it are just one aspect of your life not the only thing. When you get consumed with it in a way that it starts to impact your daily living, then hey, you have to do something really heavy to make a change.
Now, what can that be? A new skill, a hobby...these kind of challenges keep the mind in a learning mode and channelizes your energies into another thing as well.
But of course, do make sure that you and your partner are also having your share of intimacy. This along with learning something new can ideally do the magic. Also, put on those gym shoes, running shoes or anything that gets you enough physical activity. See where all this goes...
On, and guilt, is quite a wasteful job in your case...so drop it and focus on newer things that keep you on your toes.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I need some advice that’s a bit out of the ordinary. I’ve been married for 8 years, and my wife and I have recently been discussing investing in property together. The twist is, we have very different ideas on what to do with it. I’ve always been more of a numbers person—thinking about it as a solid financial investment. I want to buy something that will increase in value over time and add to our financial security. On the other hand, my wife sees it more as a home. She’s emotionally attached to the idea of a cozy, dream house, somewhere we can raise our family and enjoy life together. So, we’ve been butting heads a bit, as I’m leaning more towards an investment property in a growing area, while she’s looking for something more in line with what we want to live in now. It’s getting a little tense between us because I feel like she’s not seeing the financial side of things, and she thinks I’m too focused on money and not on our happiness. Is there a middle ground where we can both be happy?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, it's dream v/s practicality, yeah?
When you get to a stalemate situation like the one you and your wife are in, the best way is to go back to the Square A.
Start where you began when you married...list down what's important to each of you and somewhere in your case, it will lead not just to her wants and yours, but it will go back to money and financial prudence. When you hit this, come to an understanding as to how you will overcome this; it has to be mutually agreed upon. Then bring your current home buying issue and solve it just like the way you sorted your differences over finances. Try it...it will work...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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