How to Stop Taking Rejection Personally? Advice for a Highly Sensitive Person

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!

Ans: First, I want to acknowledge your remarkable self-awareness and the wonderful life you’ve built. You’ve achieved a great balance professionally, financially, and personally, and you have a beautiful, supportive family. It’s fantastic that you’re committed to continuing to grow and improve for yourself and your loved ones.

Managing emotions, especially strong ones, is an essential skill that can benefit every aspect of your life. To start, it's important to understand what triggers your intense emotional reactions. Keeping a journal can be incredibly helpful. Write down when you feel extremely happy or angry, and note the events leading up to those emotions. This process will help you recognize patterns and triggers.

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for managing emotions. These practices help you stay present and reduce the intensity of emotional responses. You might find guided meditation apps like Headspace or Calm useful as they can provide structure and consistency. Try dedicating a few minutes each day to these practices, and you’ll likely notice a calming effect on your mind and body.

When it comes to regulating emotions, specific techniques can be very effective. Cognitive reframing, for instance, involves challenging and changing unhelpful thoughts that lead to extreme emotions. Grounding exercises, such as focusing on what you can see, hear, and touch, can bring you back to the present moment and reduce emotional overwhelm. Taking a moment to pause and reflect before reacting can also make a significant difference.

Developing empathy is another crucial step. Try to understand others' perspectives more deeply. This can diminish negative emotions and biases, leading to better communication and stronger relationships. When you feel your emotions rising, practice expressing them calmly and constructively. Use "I" statements to convey your feelings without placing blame, such as "I feel upset when...".

If you find that managing these emotions on your own is challenging, seeking professional help is a wise decision. A therapist or counselor can provide personalized strategies and support. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, is effective for managing emotions and developing healthier thinking patterns.

Incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can also help regulate your emotions. Exercise reduces stress and boosts overall well-being. Whether it’s yoga, running, or even a daily walk, physical activity can make a substantial difference.


Practicing gratitude can shift your mindset from negative to positive. Consider keeping a gratitude journal and writing down a few things you’re thankful for each day. This simple practice can have a profound impact on your outlook and emotional health.



Remember, improvement takes time and effort. Start small, gradually incorporating these practices into your daily routine, and celebrate your progress along the way. By working on these areas, you'll not only improve your emotional regulation but also enhance your overall quality of life and strengthen your relationships with your family and colleagues.

You’re on a great path, and your commitment to growth is truly admirable. Keep pushing forward, and you'll continue to thrive both personally and professionally.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
Like these, I can only offer you some general advice. But the best advice of them all would be to seek counseling. It has done wonders for people. And the first step, which is identifying the issues is already done. Bravo! What's wrong with taking a little professional help in navigating the next steps? They can guide you in a more structured manner.
Hope this helps.

Ans: it is great you know you need to work on yourself - join public speaking sessions, work on your confidence , know that saying a no is not being rude - this will require you to do a lot of reflection and talking to yourself - all the best.

Ans: Dear Sir/ Madam,

As humans we bound to overthink and question back and self-doubt. It's important to process the emotions then accumulating.

Try this the next time you feel negative-

Firstly, negativity or any feeling is just an emotion and every emotion is giving you feedback so that you can take can action. So, it works like a feedback mechanism.
Now, in the above situation where your manager said the presentation was all over the place or lacked clarity- it meant you should present the same from his perspective or from the audience’s perspective. As the person who is going to see the presentation should be able to understand and be in the same alignment as you are.

Have a discussion with your manager and ask where all did, he/she feels the presentation lacked clarity, ask what else you should have looked at to make it more valuable etc.

Once you get the feedback go back to the presentation and relook from his/ her perspective now then possibly that would make sense to you.

Idea is to process the information and see how you can make it better. Self-doubt is ok to have as it will help you relook but if you are sulking in that emotion, it will spiral down which is what happens most often. So, the next time when you get negative feedback look at from a perspective of working on yourself to be even better.

If you were not good then you wouldn't be in that job in first place. Remember that.

Thanks
Ashwini
Maverick Minds
www.ashwinidasgupta.com