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20-Year-Old Seeking Relationship Advice: Overcoming Emotional Instability & Misunderstandings

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am a 20 years old guy and in my past romantic relationships, have shown signs of emotional instability, too much dependency and lack of awareness of boundaries which affected my relationships badly...I hadn’t interacted with people in a long while since 2020 (precisely when lockdown had started) and feel that some aspects of my personality are not developed fully as they should be at this age. How to work on this? Also, i have noticed that I am able to create a good first impression but it soon pales and I feel like I am subtly disrespected or talked down to, and this has been happening in all interactions...i am always respectful (often to a fault!) and even have people pleasing tendencies...i sometimes ask immature weird questions and that might probably be the reason (but they’re never inappropriate)...but i do want to gain insights into why i am experiencing what i am and how to navigate this situation well so that I can maintain healthy relationships in future. Thanks you!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
Like these, I can only offer you some general advice. But the best advice of them all would be to seek counseling. It has done wonders for people. And the first step, which is identifying the issues is already done. Bravo! What's wrong with taking a little professional help in navigating the next steps? They can guide you in a more structured manner.
Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

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Hello Dear Anu Ma'am,I wish to remain anonymous as my family reads this page too.I'm 25 years old and work for a multinational IT giant. I don't earn much but I'm happy with my job. I'm a workaholic and I don't mind working for even 16-17 hours a day (just to keep myself sane). My parents are highly educated, have good jobs, are caring and do EVERYTHING for me physically. But there is no such thing as love or emotion in my house. I have never known the meaning of happiness and love. Everything looks normal on the outside, but inside my dad does not treat my mom well, he always makes fun of her and disrespects her. He is cold and distant from me as well. I don't even remember the last time things were alright at home. Sometimes he even abuses my mom physically and because of this, she left her reputable job and now stays at home. My brother and I have stopped talking to my dad fully. I have been in a relationship with multiple men (including a married man) but was never actually interested in them. They all got frustrated with my behaviour after a few months and the relationships ended. I never understood why I keep on getting into relationships when I never like them. I never understood why I can't say no to someone. I am a people pleaser. I cannot stand up for myself and I have zero self-confidence. All my so-called ex-boyfriends manipulated me for sex and I kept thinking it was love. I lose interest the moment they talk about sex. I always used to wonder why I am not like other girls - they are confident, they can say no to a guy they don't like, they make the right decisions, they have female friends but I don't have any. I used to think why only I am weird. My mom also likes my brother more and does not treat me that nicely. Although she is nice to me most of the time, she keeps on mocking and belittling me like good girls are like plants and nature.. I have never seen you in our garden. This shows what kind of a girl you are, you're useless, you're good for nothing. I feel like slapping you all the time, your face is like that, anyone would want to slap you and many more such things. It confuses me. I still don't understand if my parents love me or not. My brother is on my mom's side. He never treats me well or respects me. My mind is always in a state of confusion and fear. I keep getting into embarrassing situations because of my low self-confidence and inability to say NO.I recently realised I am like this because of my father, after reading an article on absent father and how it affects daughters - from there I got to know that when a father doesn't love his daughter, she becomes promiscuous and has very low self-confidence. I cried for hours after reading it. I was shocked and even more traumatized because I thought parents were supposed to love their children. But it gave me some relief that all this is not my fault. Now, I have stopped blaming my parents for the way I am (even if they are the cause) and I've decided to improve my life by distancing myself from them. I have made up my mind and I can see some changes in myself. But I still can't say no very loudly and clearly. I say it in a low voice and hesitantly, so people take advantage of me. I strongly believe that I will learn to say no. I am determined. That said, the main problem now is - there is immense grief, guilt and shame in my mind which I'm not able to get out. I feel terrible about myself all the time, like I'm a cheap, characterless woman. I know that is not actually my personality but I still have such thoughts. I even tried therapy but it has not helped much. Can you please help me ma'am?
Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

Isn’t it about time you started to create your own life which is free from all the toxicity?

Sometimes as hard as it maybe, it is necessary to free yourself from the old and embrace the new; especially if the old is making you stuck and unhappy.

From what you have mentioned, your parents and brother seem to be in their own world of misery, and you surely are not the cause but you are no victim either.

You are 25 and you are earning and even if isn’t much, I wonder why you are still living under the same roof to put yourself through so much of pain.

Your job in life is not to ‘fix’ anyone even if it is family. But it is to wander on your path and create the life that you want.

Who knows once you are on your own, they might appreciate you for who you are. It is known that emotional neglect can show up as relationship challenges in children when they are ready for a partner or a relationship.

But does it help knowing all this?

Can you change the past? Can you change your parents?

If NO, then focus on changing the way you are responding to the situation.

Are you playing the victim who wants to dwell on the miseries, or do you want to play the enabler who disrupts the situation by taking charge?

Easier said than done; but once you decide to enable yourself, life takes a huge turn for the better. So, do it…

Let this be about YOU and no one else. Relationships can wait till you are on your own and making strong decisions.

For now, take that first step towards your freedom and that free life. You can do this!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 20, 2022

Relationship
Hello Dear Anu Ma'am,I wish to remain anonymous as my family reads this page too.I'm 25 years old and work for a multinational IT giant. I don't earn much but I'm happy with my job. I'm a workaholic and I don't mind working for even 16-17 hours a day just to keep myself sane.My parents are highly educated, have good jobs, are caring and do EVERYTHING for me physically. But, there is no such thing as 'love' or 'emotion' in my house. I have never known the meaning of happiness and love.Everything looks normal on the outside, but inside my dad does not treat my mom well, he always makes fun of her and disrespects her. He is cold and distant from me as well. I don't even remember the last time things were alright at home. Sometimes he even abuses my mom physically and because of this, she left her reputable job and now stays at home. My brother and I have stopped talking to my dad fully.I have been in a relationship with multiple men, including a married man, but was never actually interested in them. They all got frustrated with my behaviour after a few months and the relationships ended. I never understood why I keep on getting into relationships when I never like them. I never understood why I can't say no to someone. I am a people pleaser. I cannot stand up for myself and I have zero self confidence. All my so-called ex-boyfriends manipulated me for sex and I kept thinking it was love. I lose interest the moment they talk about sex.I always used to wonder why I am not like other girls -- they are confident, they can say no to a guy they don't like, they make the right decisions, they have female friends but I don't have any. I used to think why only I am weird.My mom also likes my brother more and does not treat me that nicely. Although she is nice to me most of the time, she keeps on mocking and belittling me like 'good girls like plants and nature.. I have never seen you in our garden. This shows what kind of a girl you are, you're useless, you're good for nothing. I feel like slapping you all the time, your face is like that, anyone would want to slap you and many more such things. It confuses me. I still don't understand if my parents love me or not. My brother is on my mom's side. He never treats me well or respects me. My mind is always in a state of confusion and fear.I keep getting into embarrassing situations because of my low self confidence and inability to say NO.I recently realised I am like this because of my father, after reading an article on 'absent father and how it affects daughters', I got to know that when a father doesn't love his daughter, she becomes promiscuous and has very low self confidence. I cried for hours after reading it. I was shocked and even more traumatised because i thought parents were supposed to love their children.But it gave me some relief that all this is not my fault.Now, I have stopped blaming my parents for the way I am (even if they are the cause) and I've decided to improve my life by distancing myself from them.I have made up my mind and I can see some changes in myself. But I still can't say no very loudly and clearly. I say it in a low voice and hesitantly, so people take advantage of me. I strongly believe that I will learn to say no. I am determined.That said, the main problem now is - there is immense grief, guilt and shame in my mind which I'm not able to get out. I feel terrible about myself all the time, like I'm a cheap, characterless woman. I know that is not actually my personality but I still have such thoughts. I even tried therapy but it has not helped much.Can you please help me ma'am?
Ans:

Dear SS,

Well, there is a neat pattern playing out in your family system.

The women in the house don’t stand up for themselves and the men act like they are entitled to the point of disrespecting and making the women submit to them.

You can see how this is playing out in you and your mother and in your father and your brother or even the way your mother treats you and your brother differently. Very neat gender-divide and gender inequality under the roof of a family system.

This is how emotional states in a growing child who is at the receiving end get eroded to a point that they grow up to make poor choices with regard to their life partner or that growing child who is entitled to act like they need to have it all.

Both are not healthy and when they co-exist in the same house, you can see for yourself what is happening.

It is most certain that your choice of men and to maintain boundaries with them does have a lot to do with the relationship between you and your father. But what’s happened, has; you can’t change the past and keep playing the victim.

Instead, lay out how your life could change for the better if you took charge of it and stepped up.

Call the shots beyond all the blaming and move on. It isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible too!

Work with a therapist who can not only empathise but also is someone who can take you off the victim mode and who enables you to TAKE CHARGE! Your choices create your life…

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Anu, I want to talk about my something that has been bothering for a long time now. I am 28 years old now. I had immense body image problem as a child because I was often made fun of because of my obesity. With time I became active in school, participating in various events and was good at studies. When I was about 15 years old I started to experience hair loss as well but not too noticeable at the time. After the 1st semester in college I was able to shed excess weight and I started to feel good about how I looked, but the hair loss also continued and my confidence took a massive hit. I also found it quite difficult to commit to a relationship because I was afraid how others would perceive me and I would not be able to handle it. I was not able to keep myself happy so how could I keep someone else happy. Over the years I have kept myself occupied with my job and tried to be as social as I can be, but there has never been a moment where I could just switch off the feeling of being bothered by my hair loss, I did not let go of what I wanted to be, I just wanted to have a time where I would not be made fun of. I was quite sensitive emotionally and this aggravated after hair loss. I always feel that I could not enjoy my teenage life the way I wanted because of something that I don't know how it started. It's frustrating. I feel this huge gap between how am I supposed to be at my current age and what I actually feel as a person right now. Although I have tried to introspect even more this year and tried to accept that I will just have to find a match with what I have, I just don't understand how should I approach this. Sometimes I simulate it as business deal. My hair loss is not really something that a partner may be looking forward to. I still feel like I am not 28 years old. I am not supposed to be like this at 28. I know that there are others out there in the world in my age group who have also experience this, but I feel so isolated here just like how I used to feel as a child when someone would make fun of my weight among a group of kids. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's misshapen identity...Ultimately the only person who can accept you for who you are, is YOU. People are always going to have something to say about the way you look, what you eat, how you speak...
So, building your identity has to come from you, within you.
- how do I see myself in the mirror?
- what words do I use when I describe myself?
- what happens when I meet people?

A few questions that will give you a reality check. Self-talk is so undermined and we are the first ones to put down ourselves. Obviously, there are parts of your personality that you have overlooked as you have only focused on hair loss. Maybe you have a beautiful smile or you can hold conversations at length.

Actually do this:
Make a questionnaire that will help you figure out what people think of you. Ask these to at least 15 people. You will see the gap between how you see yourself and how others see you. This will help you when you are actively seeking a life partner as you will approach the same thing with confidence and assurance.
And maybe you can see a doctor who can help you with regaining the lost hair. Yeah?
You feel isolated because of your self-talk; so, be kind to yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2025Hindi
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I have just turned 33. Have a handful friends and that is my social circle. I go on motorcycle rides and that group of people is limited to motorcycling. I have quit my regular job and started pursuing self employment opportunities. I was not in mindset for relationship but off late there is a girl who seems to be extremely interested in me. Funnily she says I am the most ideal guy she met but I have no idea what gives her that vibe. She told she loves me and I said I don't have such feelings for her. Yet we hang out frequently. Throughout these moments I get a feeling that I am becoming less emotional towards my surroundings. I used to love dogs, feed them, pet the ones near my house. Now I see them on the street, I don't care. I used to care about the kids on street begging, give them food whenever I could, now I don't care. Someone shares any kind of bad news, I sympathise as if I am delivering a template, I don't care. The girls says she loves me and I know deep down I have no emotional feelings for her. In retrospect I was not such a person as a child or teen. But between my childhood to now some of the things were a turning point. 1. At 4 yrs I was told my mother was dead and my father was someone I barely met a few hours on the weekend. 2. By 16 yrs I buried 3 out of my 5 dogs and realised that alcohol was killing my dad everyday 3. At 20 yrs death of my father 4. Between 20 to 25 I realised relatives and so called friends will gladly stab you when they have a chance 5. At 25 yrs sold my dad's property, lost my roots had to come back to Bangalore 6. Watched most of my friends sideline me considering I was an orphan with no future. 7. Getting rejected by girls as lack of parents meant I was a lose cannon and cannot be trusted. I never believed in hiding stuff particularly in emotionally involving relationships. I might be wrong about this girls and maybe she really likes me but I feel I have lost interest in such things or maybe I don't have the strength left to go through such emotionally draining stuff again just for nothing. I don't know what I want.
Ans: This girl might genuinely like you, but your hesitance isn’t about her—it’s about whether you can or even want to open yourself up to something that might eventually hurt again. When you’ve seen so much loss, the idea of forming attachments can feel more like a risk than a reward.

The emotional numbness you’re experiencing isn’t unusual for someone who’s been through repeated trauma. It’s a coping mechanism. But the fact that you’re aware of it means there’s still a part of you that wants to feel something again—you just don’t know how or if it’s worth it.

Maybe instead of forcing yourself to figure everything out right now, just sit with it. Spend time with this girl without the pressure of defining anything. See if, over time, you actually enjoy her presence or if it feels like an obligation. If you don’t feel anything, that’s okay too—at least you’ll have clarity.

And if you ever want to reconnect with the part of you that once cared deeply, start small. Maybe one day, feed a dog again. Maybe one day, give food to a street kid—not because you should, but just to see if it stirs anything. No pressure, no expectations.

You’ve survived things that would break most people. It’s okay to take your time figuring out what you want next.

..Read more

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Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi i am 40M. would request your help to understand what should be the corpus required for retirement as i want to get retired in next 3-5yrs. currently my take home is 2.3L monthly & my wife also works but leaving the job in next 2-3 months. we have a daughter 10yrs, currently i stay on rent and total monthly expense is 1.1L month. once i will retire we will shift in our own parental flat, where hopefully there will be no rent. current Investments 1. 50L in REC bonds getting matured in 2029 2. 42L in stocks 3. 17L in MF 4. 16L FD 5. 15L in PPF 6. 1.3L SIP monthly i do My Wife Investments 1. 30L corpus 2. flat with current value 40L and we get rental of 10K monthly. Please guide what should be the retirement corpus required combined to retire, assuming i need 75L for my daughter post grad and marriage and we would be requiring 75K monthly for our expenses after retiring
Ans: You have explained your income, goals, current assets, and future plans with great clarity. Your early planning spirit is strong. This gives a very good base. You can reach a peaceful retirement with smart steps in the next few years.

» Your Current Position

You are 40 years old. You plan to retire in 3 to 5 years. You earn Rs 2.3 lakh per month. Your wife also works but will stop working soon. You have one daughter aged 10. Your current monthly cost is around Rs 1.1 lakh. This cost will reduce after retirement because you will shift to your parental flat.

Your investment base is already good. You have saved in bonds, stocks, mutual funds, PPF, FD, and SIP. Your wife also has her own savings and rental income from a flat. All these create a good starting point.

This early base helps you plan stronger. It also gives room for more shaping. You are on the right road.

» Your Family Goals

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s higher education and marriage.

You want Rs 75,000 per month for family living after retirement.

You want to retire in 3 to 5 years.

You will shift to your parental flat after retirement.

You will have rental income of Rs 10,000 from your wife’s flat.

These goals are clear. They give direction. They allow a strong plan.

» Your Present Investments

Your investments include:

Rs 50 lakh in REC bonds maturing in 2029.

Rs 42 lakh in stocks.

Rs 17 lakh in mutual funds.

Rs 16 lakh in fixed deposits.

Rs 15 lakh in PPF.

Rs 1.3 lakh as monthly SIP.

Your wife holds:

Rs 30 lakh corpus.

A flat worth Rs 40 lakh with rent of Rs 10,000 each month.

Your combined net worth is healthy. This gives good power to build your retirement fund in the coming years.

» Understanding Your Expense Need After Retirement

You expect Rs 75,000 per month after retirement. This includes all basic needs. You will not have rent. That reduces cost. This assumption looks fair today.

Your cost will rise with inflation. So you must plan for rising needs. A strong retirement corpus must support rising cost for 40 to 45 years because you are retiring early.

An early retirement needs a large buffer. So you need safety along with growth. Your plan must include growth assets and safety assets.

» How Much Monthly Income You Will Need Later

Rs 75,000 per month is Rs 9 lakh per year. In future years, this cost can rise. If we assume steady rise, your future cost will be much higher.

So the retirement corpus must be designed to:

Give monthly income.

Beat inflation.

Support you for 40 to 45 years.

Protect your family even in market down cycles.

Allow flexibility if your needs change.

A strong retirement fund must support both safety and long-term growth.

» How Much Corpus You Should Target

A safe target is a large and flexible corpus that can support long years without running out of money. For early retirement, the usual thumb rule suggests a very high number. This is because you need income for many decades.

You need a corpus big enough to produce rising income. You also need a cushion for unexpected health costs, lifestyle shocks, and inflation changes.

Your target retirement corpus should be in a strong range. For your needs of Rs 75,000 per month and for goals like daughter’s education and marriage, you should aim for a combined retirement readiness corpus in the higher bracket.

A safe range for your family would be a very large number crossing multiple crores. This large range gives you:

Income safety.

Inflation protection.

Peace during market cycles.

Comfort in long life.

Room for daughter’s future.

Strong backup for health.

You are already on the way due to your existing assets. You will reach close to this range with systematic building over the next 3 to 5 years.

» Why You Need This Larger Corpus

You will retire early. That means more years of living from your corpus. Your corpus must not fall early. It must grow even after retirement. It must give monthly income and long-term family protection.

This is only possible when the corpus is strong and well-structured. A weak corpus creates stress. A strong corpus creates freedom.

Also, your daughter’s future cost must be kept aside. This must be parked in a separate fund. This must not touch your retirement money.

A strong corpus makes these two worlds separate and safe.

» Your Existing Assets and Their Strength

You already have good diversification:

Bonds give safety.

Stocks give growth.

Mutual funds give managed growth.

FD gives stability.

PPF gives tax-free long-term savings.

This blend is already a good start. But you need to make the blend more structured for early retirement.

Your Rs 1.3 lakh monthly SIP is also strong. It builds your future fast. You should continue.

Your wife’s rental income is small but steady. This adds strength.

Your combined financial base can reach your retirement target if you refine your allocation now.

» Your Daughter’s Future Fund Need

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s education and marriage. You should keep this goal separate from your retirement goal.

Your current SIP and future allocations should create a dedicated fund for this goal. A long-term fund can grow well when managed actively.

Do not mix this fund with your retirement needs. Mixing leads to shortage in old age. Always keep this corpus ring-fenced.

» A Strong Asset Mix For Your Retirement Path

A balanced mix is needed. You need growth assets to beat inflation. You also need stable assets for income.

You must avoid index funds because they do not give flexibility. Index funds follow a fixed index. They cannot make active changes in different markets. They cannot move to better stocks when markets change. They force you to stay in weak sectors for long. They also do not help you in down cycles because they cannot protect you by shifting to safer options. This can hurt retirement planning.

Actively managed funds are better because:

They give active asset selection.

They give scope for better returns.

They give flexibility to change sectors.

They give downside management.

They give access to a skilled fund manager.

They support long-term planning more safely.

Direct plans also carry risk. Direct plans do not give guidance. They do not give behavioural support. They do not give market timing help. They do not give portfolio shaping. They leave all the judgement to you. One mistake can cost years of wealth.

Regular plans with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner help you shape decisions. They help you remain disciplined. They help you avoid panic. They help you decide allocation changes at the right time. This saves wealth in long-term.

» How Your Investment Journey Should Grow in the Next 3–5 Years

Continue your SIP.

Increase SIP when your income rises.

Shift part of your stock holding into planned long-term mutual funds to reduce concentration risk.

Build a defined daughter’s education fund.

Keep a part of your REC bond maturity amount for long-term.

Avoid locking too much into fixed deposits for long periods.

Build a safety fund for one year of expenses.

This will create a full structure.

» Your Rental Income Role

Your rental income of Rs 10,000 per month is small but steady. Over time it will rise. This income will support your monthly cash flow after retirement.

You can use this for utilities or health insurance premiums. This gives a cushion.

» Your Emergency Buffer

You should keep at least one year of essential cost in a safe place. This can be in a liquid account or short-term fund. This protects you in shocks.

Since you plan early retirement, a strong buffer is important. It gives peace even in low months.

» A Structured Retirement Approach

A complete retirement plan for you should include:

A clear monthly income plan after retirement.

A corpus that can grow and protect.

A rising income system that matches inflation.

A separate daughter’s future fund.

A health cover plan for your family.

A tax-efficient withdrawal plan.

A market cycle plan to protect you in tough times.

This holistic approach keeps your family strong for decades.

» What You Should Build by Retirement Year

Your aim should be to reach a strong multi-crore range in investments before retirement. You already hold a large amount. You will add more in the next 3 to 5 years through SIP, stock growth, bond maturity, and disciplined saving.

Once you reach your target range, you can start the shifting process:

Move a part to stable assets.

Keep a part in long-term growth assets.

Create a monthly income strategy.

Keep a reserve bucket.

Keep a child future bucket.

Keep a long-term growth bucket.

This structure protects you in all market conditions.

» Final Insights

Your financial journey is already strong. You have a good income. You have saved well. You have multiple asset types. You have a clear timeline. And you have clear goals. This foundation is solid.

In the next 3 to 5 years, your focus should be on growing your combined corpus to a strong multi-crore range, keeping a separate fund for your daughter, reducing risk in unplanned assets, and building a stable long-term structure.

With the present path and a disciplined structure, you can retire peacefully and support your family with confidence for many decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2499 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Money
Hello my name is saket, I monthly salary is 43k and my saving is zero. My Rent is 15 k and 10 k i send to my parents. How can i save money and investments.
Ans: 1. Your Current Monthly Numbers

Salary: Rs 43,000

Rent: Rs 15,000

Support to parents: Rs 10,000

Left with: Rs 18,000 for food, travel, bills, and savings

You have very little room, but saving is still possible if done smartly.

2. First Step: Build a Small Emergency Buffer

You must build Rs 10,000 to Rs 20,000 emergency money.
This protects you from taking loans for small issues.

How to build it:

Save Rs 3,000 to Rs 5,000 every month in a simple bank savings account

Do this for the next few months

Don’t touch it unless truly needed

3. Create a Mini Budget (Very Simple One)

Try this split from the remaining Rs 18,000:

Daily living (food + transport): Rs 10,000 – 11,000

Personal expenses (phone, internet, basics): Rs 3,000 – 4,000

Savings + investments: Rs 3,000 – 5,000

If this feels difficult, reduce food/transport costs by small adjustments.

4. Where to Invest Once You Have Emergency Money

(For minors: This is general education. For actual investing, get guidance from a trusted adult or family member.)

After you build emergency money, start small monthly investing.

You can begin with:

Rs 1,000 to Rs 2,000 SIP in a simple, diversified equity fund

Increase the SIP whenever salary increases or expenses reduce

Avoid complicated products.
Keep it simple.
Focus on consistency.

5. Easy Practical Ways to Increase Saving

These small moves help a lot:

Avoid food delivery

Use public transport as much as possible

Reduce subscriptions you don’t use

Fix a daily expense limit

Keep a separate bank account only for savings

Even Rs 200 saved daily = Rs 6,000 monthly.

6. Increase Income Slowly

Try small income boosters:

Weekend tutoring

Freelancing

Part-time projects

Selling old gadgets

Learning new skills for future salary growth

Even Rs 3,000 extra income changes your savings life.

7. Build the Habit First

The amount doesn’t matter in the beginning.
The habit matters more.

Even saving Rs 500 every month is better than zero.
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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 07, 2025

Career
Hello, I’m a student who recently joined the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita University. I’m aiming for a strong academic foundation and a clear career path. Could you please guide me on the following: How good is this course for research careers or higher studies (IISc, IITs, abroad)? What are the placement prospects after Integrated M.Sc Physics at Amrita? Does the program help in preparing for alternate options like UPSC, CDS/AFCAT, or technical roles? What skills (coding, research projects, certifications) should I start early to make the most of this degree?
Ans: Sree, Program Overview and Academic Foundation: Congratulations on joining the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita University. This five-year integrated program represents a rigorous pathway designed to equip you with advanced theoretical and experimental physics knowledge combined with cutting-edge scientific computing skills. The curriculum uniquely integrates a minor in Scientific Computing, which adds substantial computational capability to your profile—a critical advantage in today's research and professional landscape. The program incorporates comprehensive coursework spanning classical mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, statistical physics, advanced laboratory work, and specialized topics in materials physics, optoelectronics, and computational methods, positioning you excellently for both research and professional careers.
Research Career Prospects: IISc, IITs, and Beyond: For research-oriented careers, the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita provides an exceptional foundation. Amrita's curriculum specifically aligns with GATE and UGC-NET examination syllabi, and the institution emphasizes early research engagement. The faculty at Amrita actively publish research in Scopus-indexed journals, with over 60 publications in international venues within the past five years, exposing you to active research environments.
To pursue research at premier institutions like IISc, you would typically follow the PhD pathway. IISc accepts M.Sc graduates through their Integrated PhD programs, and with your Amrita M.Sc, you're eligible to apply. You'll need to qualify the relevant entrance examinations, and your integrated program's emphasis on research fundamentals provides strong preparation. The final year of your Integrated M.Sc is intentionally structured to be nearly free of classroom commitments, enabling engagement with research projects at institutes like IISc, IITs, and National Labs. According to Amrita's data, over 80% of M.Sc Physics students secured internship offers from reputed institutions during academic year 2019-20, directly facilitating research career transitions.
Placement and Direct Employment Opportunities: Amrita University boasts a comprehensive placement ecosystem with strong corporate and government sector connections. According to NIRF placement data for the Amrita Integrated M.Sc program (5-year), the median salary in 2023-24 stood at ?7.2 LPA with approximately 57% placement rate. However, these figures reflect general placement trends; physics graduates often secure higher packages in specialized technical roles. Many graduates join software companies like Infosys (with early offers), Google, and PayPal, where their strong analytical and computational skills command competitive compensation packages ranging from ?8-15 LPA for entry-level positions.
The Department of Corporate and Industrial Relations at Amrita provides intensive three-semester life skills training covering linguistic competence, data interpretation, group discussions, and interview techniques. This structured placement support significantly enhances your employability in both government and private sectors.
Government Sector Opportunities: UPSC, BARC, DRDO, and ISRO: Your M.Sc Physics degree opens multiple avenues for prestigious government employment. UPSC Geophysicist examinations explicitly list M.Sc Physics or Applied Physics as qualifying degrees, enabling you to compete for Group A positions in the Geological Survey of India and Central Ground Water Board. The age limit for geophysicist positions is 32 years (with relaxation for reserved categories), and the exam comprises preliminary, main, and interview stages.
BARC (Bhabha Atomic Research Centre) actively recruits M.Sc Physics graduates as Scientific Officers and Research Fellows. Recruitment occurs through the BARC Online Test or GATE scores, with positions in nuclear science, radiation protection, and atomic research. BARC Summer Internship programs are available, offering ?5,000-?10,000 monthly stipends with opportunity for future scientist recruitment.
DRDO (Defense Research and Development Organization) recruits M.Sc Physics graduates through CEPTAM examinations or GATE scores for roles involving defense technology, weapon systems, and laser physics research. ISRO (Indian Space Research Organisation) regularly advertises scientist/engineer positions through competitive recruitment for candidates with strong physics backgrounds, offering opportunities in satellite technology and space science applications.
Other significant employers include the Indian Meteorological Department (IMD) recruiting as scientific officers, and NPCIL (Nuclear Power Corporation of India Limited), offering stable government service with competitive compensation packages exceeding ?8-12 LPA for scientists.
Alternate Career Pathways: UPSC, CDS, and AFCAT: UPSC Civil Services (IFS - Indian Forest Service): M.Sc Physics graduates qualify for UPSC Civil Services examinations, with the forest service offering opportunities for science-based administrative roles with potential to reach senior government positions.
CDS/AFCAT (Armed Forces): While AFCAT meteorology branches specifically require "B.Sc with Maths & Physics with 60% minimum marks," the technical branches (Aeronautical Engineering and Ground Duty Technical roles) require graduation/integrated postgraduation in Engineering/Technology. An M.Sc Physics integrates well with technical qualifications, though you would need engineering background for direct officer entry. However, you remain eligible for specialized technical interviews if applying through alternate defence channels.
UGC-NET Examination: This pathway leads to Assistant Professor positions in central universities and colleges across India. NET-qualified candidates receive scholarships of ?31,000/month for 2-year JRF positions with PhD pursuit, transitioning to Assistant Professor salaries of ?41,000/month in government institutions. This route provides long-term academic career security with research opportunities.
Private Sector Technical Roles
M.Sc Physics graduates are increasingly valued in data science, software engineering, and technical consulting. Companies actively recruit physics graduates for software development, where strong problem-solving and logical reasoning translate to competitive packages of ?10-20 LPA. Specialized domains including quantum computing development, financial modeling, and scientific computing offer premium compensation. Your minor in Scientific Computing makes you particularly attractive to technology companies requiring computational expertise.
International Opportunities and Higher Studies Abroad
An M.Sc from Amrita facilitates admission to PhD programs at international institutions. German universities offer tuition-free or low-fee MSc Physics programs (2 years) with scholarships like DAAD providing €850+ monthly stipends. US universities accept M.Sc graduates directly for PhD positions with full funding (tuition coverage + stipend). These pathways require GRE scores and strong Statement of Purpose articulating research interests. Research collaboration opportunities exist with Max Planck Institute (Germany) and CalTech Summer Research Program (USA), both welcoming Indian M.Sc students.
Essential Skills and Certifications to Develop Immediately: Programming Languages: Start learning Python immediately—it's universally used in research and industry. Dedicate 2-3 hours weekly to data analysis, scientific computing libraries (NumPy, SciPy, Pandas), and machine learning fundamentals. MATLAB is equally critical for physics applications, particularly numerical simulations and data visualization. Aim to complete MATLAB certification courses within your first year.
Research Tools: Learn Git/version control, LaTeX for scientific documentation, and data analysis frameworks. These skills are indispensable for publishing research papers and collaborating on projects.
Certifications Worth Pursuing: (1) MATLAB Certification (DIYguru or MathWorks official courses) (2) Python for Data Science (complete certificate programs from platforms like Coursera) (3) Machine Learning Fundamentals (for expanding technical versatility) & (4) Scientific Communication and Technical Writing (develop through departmental workshops)
Strategic Internship Planning: Leverage Amrita's research connections systematically. In your third year, apply to BARC Summer Internship, IISER Internships, TIFR Summer Fellowships, and IIT Internship programs (like IIT Kanpur SURGE). These expose you to frontier research while establishing connections for future PhD or scientist recruitment. Target 2-3 research internships across different specializations to develop versatility.

TO SUM UP, Your Integrated M.Sc Physics degree from Amrita positions you exceptionally well for competitive research careers at IISc/IITs, prestigious government scientist roles at BARC/DRDO/ISRO, and international PhD opportunities. The program's scientific computing emphasis differentiates you in the job market. Immediate priorities: (1) Master Python and MATLAB within the first two years; (2) Engage in research projects starting year 2-3; (3) Target internships at premiere research institutions; (4) Prepare GATE while completing your degree for maximum flexibility in recruitment; (5) Consider UGC-NET for long-term academic stability. Your career trajectory will ultimately depend on developing strong research fundamentals, demonstrating consistent excellence in specialization areas, and strategically selecting internship and research opportunities. The rigorous Amrita program combined with disciplined skill development positions you for exceptional career success across multiple sectors. Choose the most suitable option for you out of the various options available mentioned above. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Asked on - Dec 07, 2025 | Answered on Dec 07, 2025
Thankyou
Ans: Welcome Sree.

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