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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 01, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

When being in a relationship, how long does it take before you really know each other?

Ans: It can take anything from 3-6 months to know if you wish to be with someone for long term. To do so, its important you meet each other's friends - you can learn a lot about a person by meeting their friends. Wishing you the best.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
Hello sir, thanks for your previous response. I am a bit curious about how relationships fall into routine and predictability. We all know that every relationship has a phase where passion wanes and people settle in routine and predictable life. But only some of them get attracted towards potential partners outside while some don't. Why this happens and is it different for men and women?
Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.
Self-Reflection:

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |296 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
What does an adult relationship look like. I am 21 year old and the guy whom i am talking to only text me at night where we talk for 1 hr before I sleep. I talked to him and he said that is the only time I'll be able to give. You should see this as an adult relationship. I have just come out of college and don't know what this is. I crave to talk to him but he only talks to me at night. Is this normal and how much time is enough for 2 people in long distance to talk in a day.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There are no hard and fast rules of a relationship. It is different for everyone. One difference in a relationship between two adults is the burden of responsibilities each has to carry. There’s family, social obligations, and then a busy work schedule. There isn’t as much free time as you have in your youth. The important thing is the quality of the conversation and consistency.

Understand his schedule. Is he swamped with work all day? Does he have a stressful work environment? Does he have other commitments before and after work? Everything together can keep a person understandably busy. But that does not mean he can not find five minutes during the day to reach out to you, even when you have expressed the desire to speak to him.

You should communicate your issue as an ‘adult’. Let him know that you understand his situation but adults also openly discuss their needs and expectations. And when it isn’t aligned, they compromise and meet each other somewhere in the middle, so that both partners’ needs are met.

The bottom line is that neither of you are wrong. Some people crave more communication than others. It does not mean one is more in love than the other. It is merely a matter of personal preference. But you should not be the only one adjusting. If your current situation is not working for you, have a clear discussion and make changes that will work for both of you.

Best Wishes.

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Latest Questions
Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |11 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 15, 2024

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Money
Dear Sir, i am an NRI, investing in mutual funds and stocks through NRO account for quite some time and i am planning to move to india approximately in another 2-3 years of time , given that NRO have high taxation, i just wanted to understand how to swiftly transfer mutual funds and taxes from nro account to indian resident account ? Appreciate if you could provide advice as well as SWP method ?
Ans: Dear Rudolf,
As an NRI planning to move back to India in 2-3 years, transitioning your investments from an NRO account to a resident account requires careful planning. First, once you become a resident, you need to convert your NRO account into a regular resident savings account. This involves contacting your bank, providing updated KYC details, and submitting proof of your new residency status in India. Additionally, you must inform mutual fund houses or registrars (like CAMS/Karvy) about your change in residential status by submitting a KYC modification form.
In terms of taxation, as an NRI, you are currently subject to higher taxes on your investments. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds are taxed at 10%, while short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 15%. For debt mutual funds, LTCG is taxed at 20% with indexation benefits, and STCG is taxed according to your income slab. Once you become a resident, the taxation on these investments will continue under resident tax laws, but any new gains after your status change will be taxed according to resident regulations.
To efficiently manage your investments, you can opt for a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual funds regularly while keeping the rest invested. SWP is tax-efficient, as you only pay capital gains tax on the withdrawn portion. After becoming a resident, you can easily set up SWPs to your regular savings account for steady income, while the rest of your investments continue to grow.
So to conclude, it is essential to update your bank and mutual fund KYC details when you return to India to ensure regulatory compliance and take advantage of resident tax laws. SWP can provide regular income while managing taxes efficiently. You need to contact a professional Advisor or CA for managing all your assets.
Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |11 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir - I'm 35 years. Both myself and a better half are working with a monthly income of 3.65L together (2.8L mine + 85K wife's). We have a 5 year old male kid. We have a SBI max gain home loan account with a debt of 12.65L and a parked amount of 26.5L apart from the EMI paid so far from previous 5 years. No EMI on car purchased. EPF ~29L, PPF started for both of us an year back. Also started a monthly SIP of ~1.2-1.5L in MF from Jan'2024 with 8.5L balance so far and will continue the SIP in the below funds atleast for next 10 years. Not considering debt funds as I'm already having EPF and PPF components and will periodically review these funds. 1. Nifty next 50 Index, 2. Small Cap 250 Index, 3. Multi Cap, Active 4. Mid Cap, Active 5. Flexi Cap, Active Better half may quit her job by Mar'2025. We are looking to close home loan by March'2025 and stay EMI/debt free with a peace of mind. Is it a wise decision to close a home loan by this financial year and increase the monthly SIP to 2L from next financial year? Or) invest the home loan balance amount in real estate (preferably buying a land)? especially when the home loan interest of upto 3.5L are tax fee in the old tax regime. Thanks!
Ans: Dear Friend, Given your current financial standing, closing your home loan by March 2025 seems like a wise choice. You have Rs 26.5L parked in the SBI Max Gain account, which already reduces your interest liability. By clearing the remaining Rs 12.65L, you can become debt-free, providing peace of mind and freeing up your EMI payments for additional investments. While the home loan offers tax benefits under the old regime, the psychological comfort of being debt-free may outweigh the potential tax savings, especially since your financial portfolio is already strong.
Once the loan is closed, increasing your monthly SIPs to Rs 2L would be a smart move. Over the next 10 years, equity mutual funds, which historically offer returns of 10-12% annually, can significantly grow your wealth. Since you are already investing in a diversified portfolio of index, small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, increasing these investments aligns well with your long-term goals.
Investing in real estate, particularly land, can provide diversification. However, real estate is typically less liquid and the returns can be location-dependent. If you're confident in the property’s growth potential, this can be a good long-term investment. However, your existing strategy of focusing on equity mutual funds will likely offer better returns and flexibility, given your 10-year investment horizon.
So closing your home loan by March 2025 and redirecting the freed-up funds into increased SIPs appears to be the best route. It balances peace of mind, tax efficiency, and long-term wealth creation, while real estate can be considered for diversification if you find a promising opportunity.
There are many real estate opportunities like REIT or Partial ownership in commercial properties which can also yield between 14 to 22% overall return with about 5 to 8% monthly return and 10 to 12% of Growth in the Asset Value at end of tenure.
Investment is commodities like gold and silver can also yield a return of 8 to 10% with reducing the risk in one sector.
Diversification is the mantra, do not depend on only one or two type of investment avenues. Explore other options as well.

Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Dr Karthiyayini

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |1065 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Sep 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2024Hindi
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Health
I am 75 + ....Around two months back I was diagnosed as dengue positive with platelet count at 75,000. with proper medication, platelet counts were increased to 2,05,000 and fever was subsided.However swellings on both arms and legs persisted.. Off late on my both solders i am suffering severe pain and enable to make any movement, i feel like inner vain of my both hands are getting stretched/pulled (right from my solder to the finger tips and swelling on both hands and legs are still there. My doctor says that it may continue for another two three months and proscribed me only pain killer tablets.Doctor says that there is no specific medicine for Dengue. I got thorough blood and urine test along with other test like scanning, x-ray etc. All the test reports are normal except slightly blood sugar (PP) on higher side and enlargement of prostate gland (which is there since last 10 years and i am on regular medicine (silodosin 8-mg, one tab a day) Kindly advise me with your good suggestions that what could be the cause of this problem and which expert doctor I should consult since it is very difficult situation for carrying out my routine activities and also I can't sleep properly due to severe pain. Thank you
Ans: Post viral illness can trigger different chain of immune reactions
They are mostly self limiting if your lifestyle is well disciplined.
Here are the points towards a healthy lifestyle
1.Early dinner by 6 pm and avoid animal protein and fat at dinner meal
2.Sleeping time to be regulated. Fix a specific time around 9/9.30 pm and unwind from the world particularly off media from 7 pm
3.Regular brisk walking 30 mts a day five days a week
4.Balanaced nutrition and avoid highly refined carbohydrates

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