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Is a 1-hour night text the norm for adult relationships?

Ravi Mittal |298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi

Relationship

What does an adult relationship look like. I am 21 year old and the guy whom i am talking to only text me at night where we talk for 1 hr before I sleep. I talked to him and he said that is the only time I'll be able to give. You should see this as an adult relationship. I have just come out of college and don't know what this is. I crave to talk to him but he only talks to me at night. Is this normal and how much time is enough for 2 people in long distance to talk in a day.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There are no hard and fast rules of a relationship. It is different for everyone. One difference in a relationship between two adults is the burden of responsibilities each has to carry. There’s family, social obligations, and then a busy work schedule. There isn’t as much free time as you have in your youth. The important thing is the quality of the conversation and consistency.

Understand his schedule. Is he swamped with work all day? Does he have a stressful work environment? Does he have other commitments before and after work? Everything together can keep a person understandably busy. But that does not mean he can not find five minutes during the day to reach out to you, even when you have expressed the desire to speak to him.

You should communicate your issue as an ‘adult’. Let him know that you understand his situation but adults also openly discuss their needs and expectations. And when it isn’t aligned, they compromise and meet each other somewhere in the middle, so that both partners’ needs are met.

The bottom line is that neither of you are wrong. Some people crave more communication than others. It does not mean one is more in love than the other. It is merely a matter of personal preference. But you should not be the only one adjusting. If your current situation is not working for you, have a clear discussion and make changes that will work for both of you.

Best Wishes.

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Ans: Dear Anonymous,

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Am a female age 27 with stable job met a guy through online platform age 37,he is always trying to control me and humiliating me always but sometimes he is very caring but he is not interested to talk about future planning. Now I dont know whether to move forward with this relationship or should I leave it very much confused.?

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Hi, I am 31 yr old girl and in relationship from last 7 months. My bf is not talking to me over call or messages. On my messages he is replying only once or twice in a day. Is it okay? When I want to know the reason for the same every time his answer is he was busy in study or job? What should I do ? Is I am overthinking on him?

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Sometimes people are truly busy in their work place especially if they have meetings of deadlines coming up. But, if you are feeling that your partner can put a little more effort and reply to your messages, you are not wrong. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, do not ignore it. Talk to him directly. Tell him that you do not appreciate the way he is acting. There is nothing wrong in standing up for what you think you deserve. And as a matter of fact, you do not deserve to feel this way in a relationship. Talk about it.

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Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????

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