I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats.
My wife is also working and she also having descent salary.
I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old.
My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life.
My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc.
Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her.
We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her
and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take
medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier.
Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init.
I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?
All the best!