Namaskar Mam,My question is i am 50 years old male have family of 2 children ,wife and parents,my problem is i have not regular source of income apart from interest income from fd.My wife is not in good terms and fight me daily for new flat for better living ,i am not understanding how to carry life with peace with wife ,i require your professional help

Ans: Dear AKB, why does money ever come into a marriage; I wonder!

Well, we do need money to keep the family running, right?

Somehow, external happenings of someone earning more can get into the marriage cropping up as comparisons.

What started as a mere seed of comparison, slowly starts to become a huge tree with fruits of poison robbing even the small successes that you might have had.

Even that seems never enough leaving you with a feeling of inadequacy.

This affects marriage compatibility and comes out as anger, sadness, violent outburst, finger pointing which is evident in your marriage.

At the same time, I am sure your wife does not really intend to hurt you with these behavioural displays.

And that’s why externalising the situation to be your fault arises and she does not want to think that her perceptions are what are causing the situation.

Either you sit her down and bring her down to facts of the matter that this is how life is going to be and this is the money is what you can bring.

If it’s still an issue and she has a hard time accepting this reality, involve an elder member from her family to communicate with her.

Show her the mirror as to how her wants are unequal to what money is coming in and how this regular chatter might be affecting the children as well.

If anyone needs professional intervention, it’s both of you going to a therapist and not a psychiatrist.

The expert can help out things into perspective where both of you can rebuild your relationship with renewed mind spaces.

Happy rebuilding!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!

Ans: Dear Ashok,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
What you are looking for is something people used to put out as an ad in the newspaper...well, you might try your luck through the old route as well.
Another place that I see 60+ individuals find like-minded people is exclusive trips organized for senior citizens. You can go onto the internet to get more information on this. This will enable you to travel and see places and also connect with similar people with similar interests.
You can also join organizations like Rotary where people meet and who knows you might come across someone who shares your thoughts and views.
There are also Dating apps for the older population which again you can try and figure out if that is the place that you want to explore.
What you are looking at is perhaps driving away your loneliness and what I am suggesting is ways in which you can connect with different people which may lead to you finding a companion for yourself.

All the best!

Ans: Please do not take such decision immediately. It is a good thing that you want to secure your children's future. But as of now, i dont see any such need to sell off your flat. your children may not need this much of money for their education or they may need more. Both the other houses can be rented out and the rentals can be invested in mfs. These funds may be tagged only to their education. Any additional requirements can be funded through education loans.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your financial challenges. It sounds like you're facing cash flow issues despite a decent income. Let's work on a plan to improve your financial situation:

Budgeting: Start by tracking your expenses meticulously for a month. Identify areas where you can cut back or eliminate unnecessary spending.
Emergency Fund: Build an emergency fund to cover at least 3-6 months of living expenses. This buffer can help you avoid going into debt during unexpected financial setbacks.
Debt Management: If you have high-interest debt, focus on paying it down aggressively. Consider consolidating debts or negotiating lower interest rates with creditors.
Increase Income: Look for ways to increase your income, such as taking on a side hustle or upgrading your skills to qualify for a higher-paying job.
Invest Wisely: Invest in a diversified portfolio that aligns with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Consider seeking professional advice to optimize your investments.
Financial Education: Educate yourself about personal finance and money management. Understanding financial principles can help you make informed decisions and avoid common pitfalls.
Seek Professional Help: If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider consulting a financial advisor or counselor who can provide personalized guidance and support.
Remember, improving your financial situation is a journey that requires patience, discipline, and commitment. Start small, set achievable goals, and gradually work your way towards financial stability and prosperity.