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Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Sunil Question by Sunil on Jun 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Madam, I am married (arrange marriage) for 10 years with a son of 8 years, I am middle class person and giving Home loan EMI also, because of which no money is saved. My problem is that my wife always demands money and fights for it. She is all aware of my income and expenditures of every month (I have prepared a list and shares with her). I have no habits of alcohol or smoking, but she always fights with me that I spends money on my bad habits and on friends. She always say that you don't take me outside , don't spend on me and blah blah...(I do take her to movies and wherever she wants to go with me or with her friends). She is very short tempered that I avoids talking to her but she finds a chance for fight. For her demands, I left my parental flat and mother and lived with her in a rented house for 5 years and now purchased an independent home also. But, I am fed up of her demands and fights. She even fights when our son is around and even comes near my body as if she wants to hurt me....(although we never had a physical fight). I am very afraid. For your information, she also works as a teacher in a private nursery school (pays half of our home loan EMI) and she is from village background. My father expired long back and mother is living with my younger brother. I even don't meet my close friends frequently (once or twice in a month) because of her fear, as when I meet them she fights on this issue also. I want peace in my life. Kindly help.

Ans: Dear Sunil,
This needs a bit more of finding out what exactly is going on? What is the root cause of anger and the blame game with your wife?
Whatever I suggest will just be a BAND-AID solution and things will flare up yet again. There is deep-seated anger and insecurities rising (from what I understand from you.
The only thing I can say is; spend time with her on an emotional level and maybe this will ease her emotional highs and lows. But, I do feel it is time to have an intervention where as a Couple you are given to tools to work on your relationship.
Do see an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counseling. They will be able to guide you in a very structured fashion as to how to re-start and re-build your marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jun 06, 2024 | Answered on Jun 06, 2024
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Thanks for your suggestions, My reply for your suggestions are as follows: 1. Spend time with her on emotional level: I would like to inform you that except my office hours, I am only with her. At home or outside, she is always with me (she has separate vehicle, but waits for me to come from office to do daily home chores, like bringing veggies, grocery etc. As per her these are my duties). She likes to go for Movies, Natak, Shopping, I takes her for those things as per my pocket capabilities, even I never stopped her from meeting her friends or meeting her parents. She likes my company when I do things as per her demands, but she is so short tempered that even at my simple mistakes she fights vigorously. Earlier, she used to fight with my mother also (who is a cancer patient and not in a good health-my father expired 10 years back). That's why, I left my parental flat. Spending time with her is not a solution as when we spends time together as per her likes she behaves very good, but she comes to her original avatar in no time if her demands are not being met. 2. See an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counselling: As I informed you, I am already burdened with my Home loan and other expenditures and can't afford to pay a therapist as they charge very high and moreover she will never be agree to come to a marriage therapist (this may even come as a new issue for her to fight and she can make allegations that I want to break marriage and I don't have trust on her etc.... etc.....). Only one thing coming in my mind is that to call her parents and take a meeting along with my mother and elder relatives and explain her behaviour to her parents and relatives, if that doesn't work, my close friend, who is a lawyer had already advised to give her a Notice-but that will be my final wayout. Kindly suggest what is better.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
You seem to have already given up.
I cannot tell you what to do or not but only make suggestions that can guide you. It is up to you to decide if you wish to take those suggestions and make an attempt OR go as per what you have decided.
If you are looking at me agreeing with your decisions that damage relationships, it is not on ethical terms here.
So, if you are willing to see a therapist who can fit your budget, I will still say, do that. Else involve a senior family member who can mediate between you and your wife.
If you have decided that all this will not work, then it won't...The choice is yours...

To break relationships, takes a second...to build it all over again can take a lifetime....

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am married for 3 years and having 1 year baby boy. My marriage was fixed at matrimony site. After registration my wife used to tell me that she will spent most of her time at her home with her father and mother which is only 5 km within my home. After marriage she used to stay at her father's house almost 9 months in a year and only 2-3 months intermittent break she used to visit my house. She used to made me buy expensive washing machine and other house hold items inspite of having one already there, keep Cooking maid etc. When most of the time she is not staying with me I feel these are all my money wastage. Now she is forcing me to keep all time maid. My salary is only 50k , how can I manage all these expenses and her demand and even after meeting all these she is not staying with me and used to spent all the time at her father's flat. When I say to stay with me she used to give lot of excuses, She and both her parents had visited multiple times in my house before marriage and well aware that my kitchen setup is at first floor and not on second floor and other house hold arrangement. She used to take my baby boy with her for long period of time like 5-6 months and then come for 2-3 weeks and then again went away. We feel we are going distant apart and thinking to drag her and family in Magistrate court to seek right to conjugal life and her directly in court whether she would like to stay with me in my house or at father's place. Needless to say I used to bear all her expenses even she is staying at her father's house and I am staying alone and leading batchelor life. Please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your wife and her parents have not understood that marriage means staying together under the same roof as a couple and going through the highs and lows that come along the way.
If your wife intends to come to live in your home like it's a PG, then ask her to bear half the cost of all that is being bought. Maybe then that will drive sense inside of her.
On the other hand, what is the reason that she is so unwilling to stay longer periods with you? Have you tried to ask her this? I can only suggest:
- ask a two elder family members from both sides to step in and intervene
- go for couples therapy which will help both of you focus on the marriage as husband and wife

This can be a start point and then you can evaluate based on how things turn out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi dear Anu Krishna Madam, I am a regular reader of your suggestions and answers on the questions of relationships since long. You are doing a great work to solve the complications of people's life. I have a long story actually, thanks to you in advance for your patience in reading this. I am male 36 YO, married and having a 4 YO daughter. Mandatory to mention here that I have mother who is dependent on me financially as my father passed away years ago. My relationship with my not been since starting as we got married in 2015. She is having serious anger issues and starts fighting on even little things. She is not very inclined to my mother and my younger sister who got married in 2018 and staying in UK with her husband. My wife is always complaining for one thing or the other. I am working for Central Government and earning well but she is never satisfied and keeps on complaining that my brother in law (sister's husband) is better husband or sometimes compare with other men. I always to fulfil all the requirements financially as well as taking care of baby, helping in household chores but she is never a happy woman. I send my mother and amount of Rs 10000 per month as no one is there to take care of her, mother stays at our hometown and I along with my wife and daughter stays at my work place city. I had to finance the marriage of my younger sister also as my father passed away when the both of us siblings were of age 7 and 3, this was told before my marriage to the family of wife as well as her that this will be required to be managed by me financially. But she complains of this also that I have spent this much money on my sister and mother. I am earning from a young age of 18 years but I don't find any peace at home. I am working like a machine, earning and then she is saying bad things to me all the time. She shouts loudly when fighting so that neighbours also listen and I find it very shameful. Her behaviour towards our daughter also changes frequently and she treats her according to her mood. My mother is not staying with us as when she stayed here for 6-8 months due to her health related issues, she started fighting with my mother also and created huge scenes every now and then. My wife's only attachment is with her own family, her mother, father, unmarried elder sister and unmarried elder brother. Her both the siblings couldn't find suitable matches for themselves, this is also creating a stress for my wife and she in the end throws her frustration on me. She and my self have both tried to commit suicide 2-3 times in the fight on different occasions. Last year she met a younger boy of age 26-27 and they both got attracted to each other. I was along with her and I noticed them smiling at each other at a function. I asked my wife and said to her that if you want to you can ask and talk to that boy. Means I told her to have an open marriage, in the hope that this will atleast make her realise that my husband is happy in my happiness. They both started talking and even met on 3-4 occasions and 2-3 of them secret meetings at our home (only i knew that I didn't pointed out) with physical intimacy. Now due to some unknown reason both my wife and that boy are not talking to each other. Her behaviour had been very rude since that boy came to her life and she never realised that my husband is not pointing out this infidelity also. Now, when that boy is also not there, her disrespect towards me is increasing day by day. She starts fighting even at streets and shouting loudly. I have also given a thought for legal separation but due to my daughter I am not going ahead. I am in a very complex situation and don't understand what to do. How i can make her understand that relationship runs on two people. Please guide me further. One more thing to mention here she is not interested to go for councelling or anything like that. Thanks in advance. Regards.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife is perhaps one of those people who choose to see what's not happening rather than what good is actually happening. It's just a habit that can destroy their peace of mind and of those around them.
You are caught around her drama where she tries to find her happiness all around her when she can perfectly find it within the marriage. So, if there's something small that upsets her at home or does not go according to the way she thinks it should, instead of talking about it to you, she is someone who will find a way out outside and in things that can instantly make her feel better. That 27-year-old has ended up becoming some sort of a distraction and by you allowing it to go further whatever happens or doesn't will be blamed on you.
She's acting like a child in need of attention, incapable of addressing her own emotions, distracting herself with a new toy and then crying out creating drama around it all and oh, blaming you when things go wrong.
Got the picture, here? So, the way out is to actually take her to a professional who can guide her to regulate her thoughts an =d actually infuse her back into a family system. It's possible that her maternal home did not provide a great example in this regard...you might know better...
You can try and get through to her by requesting her to step in for your child's sake else the marriage can deteriorate further...So, give it a try.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

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I am 37 year old Commerce Graduate. I was in an unorganized business, which cannot be pursued any farther. Will it be wise to do CPA at this age without formal experience in Accounting, for a decent job? Is there any other course to pursue?
Ans: Amit Sir, A CPA (Certified Public Accountant) at the age of 37 can be a viable option for those without formal accounting experience. The CPA is a globally recognized certification that can open doors to various roles in accounting, auditing, and finance. It provides a solid foundation and increases credibility in the finance or accounting industry. However, there are challenges, such as the learning curve and experience requirements.

To overcome these, you could supplement with basic accounting courses and work experience. Alternative courses you can consider include Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA), Financial Risk Management (FRM), Certified Management Accountant (CMA), Post Graduate Diploma in Management (PGDM) or MBA, and Digital Marketing or E-Commerce.

CFA and FRM are globally recognized credentials that can lead to roles in finance, investment banking, or wealth management. CMA professionals are in high demand in banks, investment firms, and large corporations. MBAs can help transition into management or higher-level positions, while digital marketing or e-commerce can offer opportunities for entrepreneurship and business growth.

Age should not be a barrier for you in pursuing any course or certification. Leveraging prior experience, such as management, customer relations, and strategic thinking, can also benefit a corporate role. In conclusion, pursuing a CPA at the age of 37 is a viable option, but preparation and experience are essential.

All the BEST for your Prosperous Future.

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

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sir i am commerce gratuate prepared 2 years for CA coul'd not succeed what are the diff career op for me
Ans: Shri, Some basic reasons for failing CA exams include poor time management, inadequate conceptual clarity, poor presentation skills, neglecting revision, and lack of practice with mock exams. To improve, create a realistic study schedule, focus on crucial topics, practice time-bound mock tests, and use reference books and ICAI study materials. Practice structured answers and follow ICAI language to align with exam expectations. Avoid rote learning and focus on understanding the "why" and "how" behind concepts. Take multiple mock tests and review performance critically to identify weak areas. Stay motivated by setting short-term goals and rewarding yourself for achieving them.

Despite not clearing the CA exams, there are numerous fulfilling career paths for commerce graduates. Some of these include the following, out of which you can choose the most suitable for you and you are interested in:

Financial Analyst/Investment Banking involves financial analysis, research, and dealing with securities, stocks, and bonds. Tax Consultant/Tax Advisor offers tax planning, compliance, and advisory services. Financial Planner/Wealth Manager helps manage finances and long-term wealth goals. MBA can lead to leadership roles in marketing, HR, finance, operations, and entrepreneurship. Banking and Insurance offers stability and growth opportunities. Entrepreneurship requires strong initiative and risk tolerance. Accounting and Audit roles enhance job prospects globally. Digital Marketing, Data Analytics, Human Resources, Stock Market Trading, Corporate Law, and Public Sector Jobs offer job security, stability, and benefits.

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

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My son is doing BBA( 1st year.) Which extra course help him future.
Ans: Shubham Sir, The BBA degree is a strong foundation for a career in management, business, and entrepreneurship. To enhance his skills and employability, consider taking additional courses that align with his interests and career aspirations. General skills for business and management include data analytics and business intelligence, digital marketing, financial modeling and investment analysis, project management, communication and soft skills, and industry-specific skills like finance, marketing, entrepreneurship, supply chain and operations, and human resources. Technical skills include basic coding and IT skills, accounting software, artificial intelligence and machine learning for business, and cybersecurity basics.

Certifications and competitive exams can add value to his resume, such as Google, Microsoft, and Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA). Global business awareness is crucial, and practical experience is essential. Internships in industries of interest and participating in startup incubators or entrepreneurship contests can provide practical exposure. A suggested roadmap for a successful BBA career includes focusing on foundational skills, gaining technical knowledge, starting internships or part-time projects, and preparing for competitive exams like GMAT or certifications like CFA.

All the BEST for your Son’s Prosperous Future, Sir.

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
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My daughter studying bsc biotechnology 1st semester please suggest me about her future career
Ans: The decision by your daughter to pursue a BSc in Biotechnology opens up a wide range of career opportunities in diverse and rapidly growing fields. After completing her BSc, she can either pursue further education or enter the job market directly. Options include MSc in Biotechnology (or Related Fields), MBA in Biotechnology/Healthcare Management, PhD in Biotechnology, PG Diploma Courses, and pursuing a master's degree in top countries for biotechnology.

After BSc, she can work in various sectors and roles, such as lab technician, research assistant, quality control analyst, healthcare and pharmaceuticals, agricultural biotechnology, environmental biotechnology, food and beverage industry, bioinformatics, government jobs, or entrepreneurship. High-paying and in-demand fields include medical biotechnology, bioinformatics, industrial biotechnology, agricultural biotechnology, environmental biotechnology, and genetic engineering.

The best study and career locations for MSc/PhD are IISc Bangalore, IITs (Kharagpur, Kanpur), JNU Delhi, University of Hyderabad, and government initiatives like DBT (Department of Biotechnology). Skills she should develop include technical skills, research and analytical skills, soft skills, and certifications.

To build a strong foundation in core biotechnology subjects, she should participate in internships or summer research projects. After BSc, she should prepare for entrance exams, network, and consider financial considerations.

All the BEST for your Daughter’s Prosperous Future.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3989 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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Confused about the future after doing bsc biotechnology. In which subject I should do msc ? Ok india or abroad? Which biotechnology sector have high paying jobs ?
Ans: Biotechnology is a promising field with numerous career paths. Choosing the right specialization and study destination depends on interests, career goals, and financial considerations. Some popular specializations include Biotechnology, Microbiology, Biochemistry, Bioinformatics, Food Technology, Environmental Biotechnology, Medical Biotechnology, Genetic Engineering, and Industrial Biotechnology. Studying in India offers affordable education, access to reputed institutions, and a growing biotech industry. Abroad offers exposure to advanced research and technologies, higher-paying jobs, and better industry connections. High-paying sectors in biotechnology include pharmaceuticals and biopharma, healthcare and diagnostics, bioinformatics, industrial biotechnology, agricultural biotechnology, and environmental biotechnology. High-paying countries for biotechnology careers include the USA, Germany, Canada, Singapore, and India.

For those looking for cutting-edge research and higher-paying jobs, consider studying abroad in countries like the USA, Germany, or Canada. For those preferring affordable education and a long-term plan to settle in India, pursue MSc in a specialized field from top Indian institutes. Opt for fields like Bioinformatics, Medical Biotechnology, or Industrial Biotechnology, which offer the best combination of high salaries and demand. All the BEST for your Prosperous Future.

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

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Sir Greetings! is it true that now UGC wont differentiate rather treats equally both regular and correspondence degree or PG. Even correspondence students are eligible and apply for both govt and private sector jobs. I heard even companies need to accept correspondence degree done in India. Sir please clarify without any ambiguity in this regard. This is Q has been bothering me for quite sometime
Ans: Anirvinna, The University Grants Commission (UGC) and other regulatory bodies in India have made significant efforts to ensure that distance education degrees are treated as equivalent to regular degrees. The UGC states that degrees obtained through distance or online education from recognized institutions are equivalent to regular degrees, applicable for both government and private sector jobs. The Distance Education Bureau (DEB) ensures the quality of distance education programs and oversees compliance. Distance education degrees are valid for all government jobs, professional courses, and private sector acceptance. However, some organizations may prioritize candidates with regular degrees for certain roles due to perceptions of classroom rigor or networking opportunities. The UGC has encouraged universities to offer quality online programs, reducing the stigma associated with correspondence education. To enhance career prospects, consider pursuing correspondence programs from well-reputed institutions with strong alumni networks and industry connections. All the BEST for your Prosperous Future.

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