Asked on - Jun 06, 2024 | Answered on Jun 06, 2024
ListenThanks for your suggestions, My reply for your suggestions are as follows:
1. Spend time with her on emotional level:
I would like to inform you that except my office hours, I am only with her. At home or outside, she is always with me (she has separate vehicle, but waits for me to come from office to do daily home chores, like bringing veggies, grocery etc. As per her these are my duties). She likes to go for Movies, Natak, Shopping, I takes her for those things as per my pocket capabilities, even I never stopped her from meeting her friends or meeting her parents. She likes my company when I do things as per her demands, but she is so short tempered that even at my simple mistakes she fights vigorously. Earlier, she used to fight with my mother also (who is a cancer patient and not in a good health-my father expired 10 years back). That's why, I left my parental flat. Spending time with her is not a solution as when we spends time together as per her likes she behaves very good, but she comes to her original avatar in no time if her demands are not being met.
2. See an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counselling:
As I informed you, I am already burdened with my Home loan and other expenditures and can't afford to pay a therapist as they charge very high and moreover she will never be agree to come to a marriage therapist (this may even come as a new issue for her to fight and she can make allegations that I want to break marriage and I don't have trust on her etc.... etc.....).
Only one thing coming in my mind is that to call her parents and take a meeting along with my mother and elder relatives and explain her behaviour to her parents and relatives, if that doesn't work, my close friend, who is a lawyer had already advised to give her a Notice-but that will be my final wayout.
Kindly suggest what is better.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
You seem to have already given up.
I cannot tell you what to do or not but only make suggestions that can guide you. It is up to you to decide if you wish to take those suggestions and make an attempt OR go as per what you have decided.
If you are looking at me agreeing with your decisions that damage relationships, it is not on ethical terms here.
So, if you are willing to see a therapist who can fit your budget, I will still say, do that. Else involve a senior family member who can mediate between you and your wife.
If you have decided that all this will not work, then it won't...The choice is yours...
To break relationships, takes a second...to build it all over again can take a lifetime....
All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
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