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Wife's anger, infidelity & disrespect. How to save my marriage?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1218 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Relationship

Hi dear Anu Krishna Madam, I am a regular reader of your suggestions and answers on the questions of relationships since long. You are doing a great work to solve the complications of people's life. I have a long story actually, thanks to you in advance for your patience in reading this. I am male 36 YO, married and having a 4 YO daughter. Mandatory to mention here that I have mother who is dependent on me financially as my father passed away years ago. My relationship with my not been since starting as we got married in 2015. She is having serious anger issues and starts fighting on even little things. She is not very inclined to my mother and my younger sister who got married in 2018 and staying in UK with her husband. My wife is always complaining for one thing or the other. I am working for Central Government and earning well but she is never satisfied and keeps on complaining that my brother in law (sister's husband) is better husband or sometimes compare with other men. I always to fulfil all the requirements financially as well as taking care of baby, helping in household chores but she is never a happy woman. I send my mother and amount of Rs 10000 per month as no one is there to take care of her, mother stays at our hometown and I along with my wife and daughter stays at my work place city. I had to finance the marriage of my younger sister also as my father passed away when the both of us siblings were of age 7 and 3, this was told before my marriage to the family of wife as well as her that this will be required to be managed by me financially. But she complains of this also that I have spent this much money on my sister and mother. I am earning from a young age of 18 years but I don't find any peace at home. I am working like a machine, earning and then she is saying bad things to me all the time. She shouts loudly when fighting so that neighbours also listen and I find it very shameful. Her behaviour towards our daughter also changes frequently and she treats her according to her mood. My mother is not staying with us as when she stayed here for 6-8 months due to her health related issues, she started fighting with my mother also and created huge scenes every now and then. My wife's only attachment is with her own family, her mother, father, unmarried elder sister and unmarried elder brother. Her both the siblings couldn't find suitable matches for themselves, this is also creating a stress for my wife and she in the end throws her frustration on me. She and my self have both tried to commit suicide 2-3 times in the fight on different occasions. Last year she met a younger boy of age 26-27 and they both got attracted to each other. I was along with her and I noticed them smiling at each other at a function. I asked my wife and said to her that if you want to you can ask and talk to that boy. Means I told her to have an open marriage, in the hope that this will atleast make her realise that my husband is happy in my happiness. They both started talking and even met on 3-4 occasions and 2-3 of them secret meetings at our home (only i knew that I didn't pointed out) with physical intimacy. Now due to some unknown reason both my wife and that boy are not talking to each other. Her behaviour had been very rude since that boy came to her life and she never realised that my husband is not pointing out this infidelity also. Now, when that boy is also not there, her disrespect towards me is increasing day by day. She starts fighting even at streets and shouting loudly. I have also given a thought for legal separation but due to my daughter I am not going ahead. I am in a very complex situation and don't understand what to do. How i can make her understand that relationship runs on two people. Please guide me further. One more thing to mention here she is not interested to go for councelling or anything like that. Thanks in advance. Regards.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife is perhaps one of those people who choose to see what's not happening rather than what good is actually happening. It's just a habit that can destroy their peace of mind and of those around them.
You are caught around her drama where she tries to find her happiness all around her when she can perfectly find it within the marriage. So, if there's something small that upsets her at home or does not go according to the way she thinks it should, instead of talking about it to you, she is someone who will find a way out outside and in things that can instantly make her feel better. That 27-year-old has ended up becoming some sort of a distraction and by you allowing it to go further whatever happens or doesn't will be blamed on you.
She's acting like a child in need of attention, incapable of addressing her own emotions, distracting herself with a new toy and then crying out creating drama around it all and oh, blaming you when things go wrong.
Got the picture, here? So, the way out is to actually take her to a professional who can guide her to regulate her thoughts an =d actually infuse her back into a family system. It's possible that her maternal home did not provide a great example in this regard...you might know better...
You can try and get through to her by requesting her to step in for your child's sake else the marriage can deteriorate further...So, give it a try.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Oct 18, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Thanks Anu Ma'am for you valueable response and suggestion. I will again give it a try to take her to professional who can councel her and guide for infusion into a family system. Yes, her maternal home don't provide a great smooth family relationships as her mother always complains about her Late mother in law and husband (my father in law). She always says that my father in law has given all his 15 years earned money from a govt job to his mother (my wife's Daadi). The same pattern of complaining is being followed here also about my mother, though I spend a little portion of (10%) of my income on my mother's care. But still I also listens this type of taunts. The other things you had said that with that 27 year old guy whatever happened will be blamed on me, yes, this has already happened she is saying that she met that guy only after my insistence but the truth is they both were getting attracted and smiling at each other before my go ahead. I definitely want to stay in this marriage for my daughter's sake and will give it a try as per your suggestion. Thank you once again.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1218 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your wife has a streak of wanting people to want her, literally where it comes off as her being possessive of them (I gather this from what you have shared). I only have a one-sided view and don't know fully well why your wife chooses to be possessive.
She does not want to share you or what you earn with your family; it only suggests that she is worried about losing both. It may seem like they are unfounded fears but they exist in real for her.
Obviously your pleas to see a counselor will better her life and it is easier to stay where she is as nothing needs to change. It seems relatively clear that she fears LOSING!
How this got there or did it become even more evident because of the tussles between your family and her; no one knows. You would not completely know what transpired between your wife and your family; but something has triggered within her to hold on to her beliefs.
Anyway, it is difficult to be where you are; but the only way out is to have a person that is neutral to handle this. It could be a mutual friend, a senior member of her side of the family, a person that she idolizes...anyone who can in a very unbiased manner approach the situation and bring out the fears.
In the meantime, you can spend more time with your daughter and give her a sense of protection and care and at the same time ensuring that she empathizes with her mother. Matters like these can go sour overnight and YES, you have held on so long, give it some more time but do facilitate the neutral person to do an Intervention ASAP.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1218 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

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Relationship
Hi Madam, I am married (arrange marriage) for 10 years with a son of 8 years, I am middle class person and giving Home loan EMI also, because of which no money is saved. My problem is that my wife always demands money and fights for it. She is all aware of my income and expenditures of every month (I have prepared a list and shares with her). I have no habits of alcohol or smoking, but she always fights with me that I spends money on my bad habits and on friends. She always say that you don't take me outside , don't spend on me and blah blah...(I do take her to movies and wherever she wants to go with me or with her friends). She is very short tempered that I avoids talking to her but she finds a chance for fight. For her demands, I left my parental flat and mother and lived with her in a rented house for 5 years and now purchased an independent home also. But, I am fed up of her demands and fights. She even fights when our son is around and even comes near my body as if she wants to hurt me....(although we never had a physical fight). I am very afraid. For your information, she also works as a teacher in a private nursery school (pays half of our home loan EMI) and she is from village background. My father expired long back and mother is living with my younger brother. I even don't meet my close friends frequently (once or twice in a month) because of her fear, as when I meet them she fights on this issue also. I want peace in my life. Kindly help.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
This needs a bit more of finding out what exactly is going on? What is the root cause of anger and the blame game with your wife?
Whatever I suggest will just be a BAND-AID solution and things will flare up yet again. There is deep-seated anger and insecurities rising (from what I understand from you.
The only thing I can say is; spend time with her on an emotional level and maybe this will ease her emotional highs and lows. But, I do feel it is time to have an intervention where as a Couple you are given to tools to work on your relationship.
Do see an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counseling. They will be able to guide you in a very structured fashion as to how to re-start and re-build your marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1218 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am married for 3 years and having 1 year baby boy. My marriage was fixed at matrimony site. After registration my wife used to tell me that she will spent most of her time at her home with her father and mother which is only 5 km within my home. After marriage she used to stay at her father's house almost 9 months in a year and only 2-3 months intermittent break she used to visit my house. She used to made me buy expensive washing machine and other house hold items inspite of having one already there, keep Cooking maid etc. When most of the time she is not staying with me I feel these are all my money wastage. Now she is forcing me to keep all time maid. My salary is only 50k , how can I manage all these expenses and her demand and even after meeting all these she is not staying with me and used to spent all the time at her father's flat. When I say to stay with me she used to give lot of excuses, She and both her parents had visited multiple times in my house before marriage and well aware that my kitchen setup is at first floor and not on second floor and other house hold arrangement. She used to take my baby boy with her for long period of time like 5-6 months and then come for 2-3 weeks and then again went away. We feel we are going distant apart and thinking to drag her and family in Magistrate court to seek right to conjugal life and her directly in court whether she would like to stay with me in my house or at father's place. Needless to say I used to bear all her expenses even she is staying at her father's house and I am staying alone and leading batchelor life. Please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your wife and her parents have not understood that marriage means staying together under the same roof as a couple and going through the highs and lows that come along the way.
If your wife intends to come to live in your home like it's a PG, then ask her to bear half the cost of all that is being bought. Maybe then that will drive sense inside of her.
On the other hand, what is the reason that she is so unwilling to stay longer periods with you? Have you tried to ask her this? I can only suggest:
- ask a two elder family members from both sides to step in and intervene
- go for couples therapy which will help both of you focus on the marriage as husband and wife

This can be a start point and then you can evaluate based on how things turn out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Janak

Janak Patel  |7 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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Money
Please advice on my portfolio. I'm 50 years old married freelancer with no children so end up doing investments through STP's. Right now I have 1 crore in ICICI Agressive Hybrid, 1 crore in HDFC Balanced Advantage, 50 lakh PMS with ICICI Contra, 50 Lakh PMS with Abbakus. 30 Lakhs HDFC Mid Cap. 30 Lakhs Oswal Business Cycle. Apart from that I have 20 lakhs in PPF. Please advice
Ans: Hi Saket,

Your portfolio is a mix of investments across MFs, PMS and PPF.
Assuming PMS is all equity, the asset allocation reflects approximately an 80:20 ratio in Equity:Debt respectively, which seems fine.
As your objectives or goals are not available, it would be difficult to indicate if they suit your profile.

Most of the MF schemes mentioned are fine with a good track record. The exception is the Business Cycle scheme - this is a new scheme and being sectoral it will attract very high risk, its approximately 10% of your portfolio value so continue if you understand the risk.
Alternately you can consider a Flexi-cap or Multi-cap MF scheme that are well diversified and for a 7+ years of time horizon.

PMS services - if your experience with the PMS services are good and they meet your expectations for returns, then do continue.

PPF - plan to utilize it as a tax efficient instrument to withdraw funds at the time of retirement. Continue to contribute max possible and complete lock-in period of 15 years and keep extending the account with contributions. Over the next 10-15 years you can accumulate a good corpus which will be completely tax free for withdrawal.

An observation/suggestion as its not indicated - As you are freelancer, suggest emergency funds - please plan to have at least 6-9 months expenses in an investment which has high liquidity and safety e.g. FDs. In extreme eventualities like the pandemic or a personal crisis, this fund can support the immediate needs.

As you are going to be moving towards your retirement in a decade or so, I recommend you contact a Certified Financial Planner who can add value to your portfolio and provide a personalized evaluation and guidance taking into consideration your family profile, goals and requirement of the future while assessing risk and tax efficiency.

Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

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Janak

Janak Patel  |7 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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I bought an apartment in Delhi in the year 2002 for 5 lacs (own funds) Plus 15 lacs bank loan for 15 years at interest rate of 10%. Now want to sell it for199 lacs. Please advise on following 1. How to work out cost of acquisition considering interest paid on bank loan and expenses incurred from time to time to upkeep the flat around 5 lacs. I don't have bank interest certificate. 2. What will be capital gains tax calculation if I sell it now with both options old v/s new. Please advise. Raghav.
Ans: Hi Neeta / Raghav,

At the high level the below should help you.

1. Cost of acquisition can include the purchase price and the cost of improvement, so the upkeep expenses to maintain the property cannot be consider, but if you made any form of addition/alterations to the property then you can include it.
The interest paid on loan is eligible for tax benefits, it cannot be included in the cost of acquisition.

2. Old Rule - using the CII for calculations indicate Capital gains of Rs130 lacs, the capital gains tax (20% on difference after indexation) works out to be approximately Rs26 lacs. Note exact dates of purchase/sale will determine the CII values to be used, assumed FY2002-3 and FY2024-25 for now.
New Rule (2024 budget) - Capital gains = difference of sale and cost price i.e. Rs179 lacs, tax of 12.5% on it is approximately Rs22 lacs.

Note - you can add/reduce the cost/sale price with expense incurred in transacting the property e.g. brokerage.

Options to save tax on the Capital gains amount
1. Reinvest in another residential property within 1 year prior and 2 years after sale date or construct within 3 years after sale date.
2. Invest in NHAI bonds - has lock-in period and the interest earned is taxable.

Please contact a CFP or a Tax consultant for further guidance.

Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6689 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Money
Please review my MF Portfolio Sir....Bandhan Small Cap Fund - 11000, Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund -15500, Kotak emerging equity Fund - 7000, Tata digital Fund - 7000, Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund - 12000, HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund - 12500, With setp up of 10% every year. is this portfolio Good ?? should I change something ?? Also, I want to start another 5000 SIP, which fund should I go for ?. My age is 28 yrs My goal is wealth creation, i can invest for long term. As of now I don't have any urgency
Ans: I’m glad to see you’ve taken active steps towards wealth creation. At 28, with a long-term investment horizon and no immediate need for liquidity, you’re well-positioned to build substantial wealth through disciplined investments.

Let’s evaluate your portfolio and offer insights for further improvements, including recommendations for your new SIP.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Your portfolio reflects a diverse range of funds, which is essential for reducing risks and optimizing growth. Here's a detailed evaluation of each component:

1. Bandhan Small Cap Fund – Rs 11,000
Small-cap funds have high growth potential but are also highly volatile. It’s great for wealth creation over the long term, but ensure you're prepared for volatility in the short term.

You’ve allocated 16% of your current SIP to small caps. That’s reasonable given your age and long investment horizon.

2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs 15,500
This is a flexi-cap fund, which means it can invest in large, mid, and small caps based on market conditions. These funds offer a good balance of risk and reward.

With about 22% of your SIP allocated here, it adds diversification to your portfolio. This fund provides the flexibility to adjust to market conditions, which can be a key strength.

3. Kotak Emerging Equity Fund – Rs 7,000
Mid-cap funds like this have the potential to offer high returns with moderate risk. Mid-caps often strike a balance between the stability of large caps and the growth potential of small caps.

Your allocation of 10% to mid-cap is fine for your long-term goal, as these funds can generate wealth if held for 7-10 years.

4. Tata Digital Fund – Rs 7,000
A sectoral fund like this focuses on the digital or technology sector, which can be lucrative. However, such funds tend to be highly volatile and depend on the sector's performance.

While sectoral funds can provide high returns, their risks are high due to concentrated exposure. It's a good idea to limit your exposure here, and you’ve done well by keeping it at around 10%.

5. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs 12,000
Another mid-cap fund in your portfolio, this allocation increases your exposure to mid-caps. While mid-caps have good growth potential, too much concentration in this category can amplify risk.

You’ve allocated 17% to mid-caps overall, which is slightly on the higher side. You may want to reduce this exposure slightly to balance your risk.

6. HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs 12,500
Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs) dynamically manage the portfolio between equity and debt. This ensures lower volatility while giving reasonable returns.

Having 18% of your portfolio in a BAF adds stability and cushions against market fluctuations. This is an excellent choice for long-term wealth creation with moderate risk.

Diversification and Risk Management
Your portfolio is diversified across different types of equity funds—small-cap, mid-cap, flexi-cap, and sectoral funds. However, there’s a concentration of mid-cap and small-cap exposure, which could increase risk during market downturns. Since you are aiming for long-term wealth creation, I recommend a more balanced allocation.

Steps to Improve Diversification:

Reduce Sectoral Exposure: The Tata Digital Fund's high concentration in one sector can increase risk. You may want to limit sectoral funds to 5-7% of your overall portfolio.

Balance Mid-Cap Exposure: You’ve invested in two mid-cap funds. Consider reducing one to moderate your overall risk exposure.

Adding Another SIP of Rs 5,000
You mentioned starting a new Rs 5,000 SIP. Given your long-term horizon and focus on wealth creation, here’s what I suggest for further diversification:

1. Large-Cap Fund
Adding a large-cap fund will bring more stability to your portfolio. Large-cap funds tend to be less volatile and provide consistent returns, especially during market downturns.

This can act as a safety net, balancing the volatility of your small and mid-cap funds.

2. Hybrid or Dynamic Allocation Fund
If you're looking for more stability, you might consider adding a balanced or hybrid fund to your portfolio. These funds invest in both equity and debt instruments, which can stabilize your portfolio during market fluctuations.

A hybrid fund would complement your existing BAF and reduce overall portfolio risk.

3. International Equity Fund
You can also consider diversifying internationally by adding an international equity fund. These funds provide exposure to global markets and help diversify country-specific risks.

This can help balance the portfolio if Indian markets face periods of stagnation.

Disadvantages of Index and Direct Funds
Since you've opted for actively managed funds, I want to reinforce that you're on the right track. Index funds, although lower in cost, are passive and do not have the potential for outperformance in dynamic markets. In contrast, actively managed funds offer better opportunities as professional fund managers constantly analyze the market to maximize returns.

Also, it's wise to invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who can guide you based on your financial goals and risk profile. While direct funds may save on expense ratios, they often lack personalized advice, which can cost you in the long term.

Final Insights
Your current portfolio has a solid foundation for long-term wealth creation, with a strong emphasis on small and mid-cap funds for growth. However, it would benefit from some adjustments to balance risk and improve diversification.

Consider reducing your sectoral and mid-cap exposure slightly to manage volatility.

Adding a large-cap or hybrid fund to your new SIP will provide more stability.

Investing for the long term with periodic reviews will ensure you stay aligned with your goals.

Stay disciplined with your investments, increase your SIPs regularly as planned, and avoid frequent changes. With a long-term vision and the right fund selection, your portfolio can grow significantly over time.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6689 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 18, 2024Hindi
Money
Hlo sir, im vijaylaxmi 24 yrs old i want to do sip please suggest which fund is best to invest
Ans: Vijaylaxmi, it’s great that you want to start investing at the young age of 24.

Starting early gives you the benefit of time.

Your investment horizon is likely to be long, which is ideal for SIP investments.

Before selecting any fund, it's important to understand your financial goals.

You need to assess your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial objectives.

Since you are young, you can afford to take some risk, but that should align with your comfort level.

If you want to build wealth over the long term, equity mutual funds would suit your needs.

They have the potential to offer higher returns in the long run compared to other asset classes.

However, you should stay invested for at least 5-7 years to ride out market fluctuations.

Diversification Across Funds

It’s crucial to diversify your investments across different fund categories.

Diversification will reduce risk by spreading your money across different sectors and asset classes.

You can consider investing in large-cap funds, multi-cap funds, and mid-cap funds for diversification.

Each type of fund comes with its own level of risk and potential return.

Large-cap funds are more stable, while mid-cap and multi-cap funds can offer higher returns but come with higher volatility.

Why Not Index Funds?

You might hear people suggesting index funds, but let’s evaluate them.

Index funds simply track a market index like Nifty 50 or Sensex.

They don’t have active fund management, which means there’s no expert to make decisions during market ups and downs.

Although they have lower costs, their returns may not always outperform actively managed funds.

With actively managed funds, a professional fund manager selects stocks, making adjustments to take advantage of market opportunities.

The Benefits of SIP in Actively Managed Funds

SIP or Systematic Investment Plan is an excellent way to invest in mutual funds.

It helps you invest a fixed amount regularly, regardless of market conditions.

This instills financial discipline and reduces the impact of market volatility through rupee cost averaging.

You won’t need to worry about timing the market; SIP takes care of that for you.

Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, especially when you stay invested over the long term.

When you invest through SIP in an actively managed fund, you get the expertise of a fund manager making strategic decisions to maximize returns.

Regular Funds Over Direct Funds

Now, let’s talk about the mode of investment.

Direct funds may seem attractive because they have lower expense ratios, but investing through regular funds offers benefits.

Regular funds give you access to the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD).

Their advice can help you make informed decisions about your portfolio, especially if market conditions change.

A regular plan allows you to get ongoing support for your investment journey.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner can help you align your portfolio with your financial goals.

They bring a deeper understanding of markets and can help optimize your asset allocation over time.

Flexibility in Fund Choices

While selecting funds, ensure that you pick flexible options.

Some funds are rigid and only invest in a certain category of stocks, which can limit their performance during different market cycles.

Flexible funds, like multi-cap funds, allow the fund manager to shift between large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions.

This flexibility can increase the fund’s chances of delivering consistent returns over time.

Equity Fund for Long-Term Goals

If your goal is long-term wealth creation, equity mutual funds are your best bet.

They generally outperform debt funds, FDs, and other conservative instruments over time.

Equity funds can offer better inflation-adjusted returns.

These funds invest in the stock market, which is why their potential for growth is higher.

However, they come with short-term volatility.

So, it’s important to have patience and a long-term perspective when investing in equity funds.

Growth or Dividend Option?

When investing in mutual funds, you will have to choose between the growth and dividend options.

Since you are young and likely looking to accumulate wealth, the growth option is more suited for you.

The growth option allows your investment to compound over time, as any profits earned by the fund are reinvested into the fund.

The dividend option provides periodic payouts, which is more suitable for investors seeking regular income.

In your case, you may not need regular income right now, so the growth option will help you build a larger corpus in the long run.

Taxation on Mutual Funds

When investing in mutual funds, it’s important to understand the tax implications.

For equity mutual funds, long-term capital gains (LTCG) are taxed at 12.5% after Rs 1.25 lakh.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

This means if you sell your equity mutual fund units before three years, the gains will be taxed as STCG.

If you hold the fund for longer than three years, any gains above Rs 1.25 lakh will be taxed as LTCG.

Since your investment horizon is long-term, this will work in your favor as you can take advantage of the LTCG benefit.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Income

In the future, when you achieve your financial goals, you can convert your SIP investments into a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP).

An SWP allows you to withdraw a fixed amount of money from your investment at regular intervals.

This is an effective way to create a steady stream of income from your mutual fund investment.

It can be particularly useful for retirement planning.

Since you are young, you have plenty of time to grow your investments before you need to rely on SWP.

Final Insights

At the age of 24, starting an SIP is a brilliant move.

Your time horizon allows you to take on equity market risks, which can result in higher long-term returns.

Diversify your investments across different fund categories to balance risk and return.

Actively managed funds offer better prospects than index funds due to the expertise of fund managers.

Choosing the growth option will help you accumulate wealth faster, as your profits will be reinvested.

Remember to stay invested for at least 5-7 years to maximize your returns.

As you move forward, work with a Certified Financial Planner to review your portfolio and make adjustments when necessary.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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