Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1304 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
MANNY Question by MANNY on Feb 04, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi, Anu krishna I am shekhar from Hyd, My wife always comparing the life with rich people. for that she build the pressure on me any thing . But I am explaining actual situation but she did not understand. Already once i tried for business for 3 years for her satisfaction earn the money. But that 3 years we loosed any thing and once upon time I tried attempted suicided. Then I come back and re-started my professional job. Now again i am in well position but not my wife expected level. Now my wife again and again pressurizing, earn the money. How can I explain to my wife smoothly without disturbing her mind. please help me

Ans: Dear Manny,
You cannot keep yielding to your wife's demands of becoming rich by comparing you to other rich people. No money is enough money and this is something that must understand.
If she isn't happy with your current professional job, no matter what you do, she has decided not to approve of it.
Money is not earned only by doing business but it can come through a job as well. You cannot be under this pressure of earning more money as it will start to affect your mental and physical health.
Kindly speak with her by putting down the problem as you face it or else request someone from her family to speak with her.
Money is not everything but when we compare ourselves to someone who makes more money than us, the mind becomes stressed and almost obsessive that we can make more mistakes. Time for you to speak up your mind and do what you think is right as what you need right now is stability from your losses. Speaking your mind will also help you manage your stress better. Your wife may not understand this now, but someday she will understand why you had to do this and continue with the job for the time being.
All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1304 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1304 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi Madam, I am married (arrange marriage) for 10 years with a son of 8 years, I am middle class person and giving Home loan EMI also, because of which no money is saved. My problem is that my wife always demands money and fights for it. She is all aware of my income and expenditures of every month (I have prepared a list and shares with her). I have no habits of alcohol or smoking, but she always fights with me that I spends money on my bad habits and on friends. She always say that you don't take me outside , don't spend on me and blah blah...(I do take her to movies and wherever she wants to go with me or with her friends). She is very short tempered that I avoids talking to her but she finds a chance for fight. For her demands, I left my parental flat and mother and lived with her in a rented house for 5 years and now purchased an independent home also. But, I am fed up of her demands and fights. She even fights when our son is around and even comes near my body as if she wants to hurt me....(although we never had a physical fight). I am very afraid. For your information, she also works as a teacher in a private nursery school (pays half of our home loan EMI) and she is from village background. My father expired long back and mother is living with my younger brother. I even don't meet my close friends frequently (once or twice in a month) because of her fear, as when I meet them she fights on this issue also. I want peace in my life. Kindly help.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
This needs a bit more of finding out what exactly is going on? What is the root cause of anger and the blame game with your wife?
Whatever I suggest will just be a BAND-AID solution and things will flare up yet again. There is deep-seated anger and insecurities rising (from what I understand from you.
The only thing I can say is; spend time with her on an emotional level and maybe this will ease her emotional highs and lows. But, I do feel it is time to have an intervention where as a Couple you are given to tools to work on your relationship.
Do see an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counseling. They will be able to guide you in a very structured fashion as to how to re-start and re-build your marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?
Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help
Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3911 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Listen
Career
my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in morning shift from 6.30 am to 1.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tiredness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Priya Madam,

You have not provided information regarding the number of hours your son sleeps.

(1) Given that your son is only 8 years old, it is important to ensure he gets a minimum of 8 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours in the afternoon. Sleeping hours can be reduced once he enters the 6th Standard.

(2) Ensure he receives a balanced diet and nutritious food to sustain his energy levels. (3) Encourage him to maintain regular water intake to prevent dehydration. (4) Facilitate opportunities for him to take regular breaks and engage in play. (5) A 3rd standard student can't study for extended periods. He should study for 25 to 30 minutes, followed by a 10 to 15-minute break after each 25-minute study session.

(6) I am providing this information for general awareness. Parents should refrain from physically assaulting their children to achieve compliance, as this can undermine their self-confidence. (7) They should engage in more polite and loving communication with the children. (8) Children frequently observe their parents and tend to emulate their actions. Ensure that the environment at home is tranquil. (9) Addiction to electronic gadgets may also result in fatigue. (10) Regarding the Study Planner, it has been previously stated that regardless of whether he studies in the morning or evening, he should engage in study sessions of 25 minutes followed by a 10-minute break after each session. He will not experience fatigue, and the output will be increased. Hope, this answer will help you, Madam.

All the BEST for Your Prosperous Son's Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x