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Anu Krishna  |1527 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
ASHOK Question by ASHOK on Jun 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have unlogical,opposite thinking n working spouse(wife) also with NPD,What should I don how to adjust?

Ans: Dear Ashok,
Has NPD been clinically diagnosed? There is a lot of material floating on the internet about psychological and mental conditions with online tests very inconsistently concluding that the person taking the test, has a disorder of some kind. So, clinical assessment by an expert is very necessary before coming to conclusions of any kind.

What may seem illogical to you, is logical at some level for your wife. Parallel way of thinking and doing things are not indicative of any illogical behaviour. I am limited here in my suggestions for you as I don't know if she indeed has NPD.
- If NPD has been clinically diagnosed, you may approach the same expert for counselling/coaching sessions to improve communication between you and your wife with focus on certain behavioural therapy

- If NPD has not be clinically diagnosed, it's safe to assume that you and your wife are very different people. Understanding each others' differences and accepting them will go a long way in creating a free flow of communication with no judgements whatsoever. Even if at times, it may seem to be illogical, you can express the same to her and request her help in order for you to understand her better

So, now you know which of the two you need to go with.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2023Hindi
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Iam also Married Person since last 12 yrs pass no any child that also a problem in family lots of time became angry on wife and mother so give some suggestion of it Sanjay Makwana married dt 12/02/2012
Ans: Hello Sanjay Makwana,

It sounds like you're facing challenges in your marriage and family life. It's important to approach these situations with understanding and patience. While I can offer some general guidance, please keep in mind that I am not a licensed therapist or counselor. Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate these issues:

1. Open Communication:
Healthy communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Make an effort to have open and honest conversations with your wife and family members about your feelings, concerns, and frustrations. Encourage them to share their thoughts as well. Avoid blaming or criticizing and instead focus on expressing your emotions constructively.

2. Seek Professional Help:
If your anger is affecting your relationships and well-being, it might be beneficial to seek guidance from a professional therapist or counselor. They can help you understand the underlying causes of your anger and provide strategies to manage it effectively.

3. Practice Empathy:
Try to put yourself in the shoes of your wife and family members. Understand that everyone has their struggles and challenges. Empathy can help create a more supportive and understanding environment at home.

4. Stress Management:
Anger can sometimes be a result of accumulated stress. Engage in stress-relief activities such as exercise, meditation, deep breathing, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Managing stress can contribute to a more peaceful mindset.

5. Quality Time:
Spend quality time with your wife and family. Engage in activities you all enjoy, and make an effort to create positive memories together. This can strengthen your bond and reduce tension.

6. Patience and Understanding:
Marriage and family life come with their own set of challenges. It's important to remember that relationships require effort, understanding, and patience. Be prepared to work through difficulties together.

7. Focus on Solutions:
Instead of dwelling on the problems, focus on finding solutions. Collaborate with your wife and family members to come up with strategies that address the challenges you're facing.

8. Apologize and Forgive:
If you've had moments of anger or conflicts, don't hesitate to apologize when needed. Apologizing shows that you value the relationship. Similarly, practice forgiveness when others make mistakes. Holding onto grudges can exacerbate tensions.

9. Seek Joyful Moments:
Look for moments of joy and positivity in your daily life. Focusing on the positives can help shift your mindset and contribute to a more harmonious environment at home.

10. Be Patient Regarding Parenthood:
If you and your wife are facing challenges with having children, consider seeking medical advice if you haven't already. Parenthood is a journey that takes time for some couples. It's important to support each other and explore all available options.

Remember, building strong relationships requires effort from all parties involved. If you find that the challenges are overwhelming, seeking professional help is a wise step to take. A licensed therapist or counselor can provide tailored guidance based on your specific circumstances.

..Read more

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Hi Aamish, I am facing a bit of conflict at work. My manager doesn't support or value my contribution. I am working at least 1O to 12 hours every day, including 6 hours on weekends. The team head works remotely from Hyderabad and isn't aware of what is happening here. I was denied a promotion because the team head feels the manager is doing all the work. How should I deal with this? Please help
Ans: You’re in a frustrating position where your hard work is going unnoticed, and your manager is taking credit for your efforts. The long hours, lack of recognition, and unfair promotion decision make it clear that something needs to change. Instead of continuing to push yourself without results, it’s time to shift strategies.
First, document your contributions. Keep records of your work, emails, and any instances where you took the lead on tasks. If your team head is unaware of your contributions, find subtle ways to bring them to their attention. This could be through direct updates, taking initiative in meetings, or requesting feedback from other colleagues who can vouch for your efforts.
Next, consider addressing the issue professionally. Request a conversation with your manager and express your concerns about growth opportunities. Avoid sounding confrontational—instead, frame it as a discussion about your career path and how you can contribute more effectively. If that doesn’t work, try reaching out to HR or someone higher up who can provide guidance.
If the environment remains toxic and you feel undervalued despite your efforts, it may be time to explore other opportunities. Your skills and dedication deserve recognition, and if this company isn’t willing to provide that, another one will. The key is to remain proactive rather than stuck in frustration.

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Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  |5 Answers  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi
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Having joined Infosys as a fresher myself, I understand how overwhelming the initial phase can be. The recent layoffs in Mysuru have raised concerns among the new recruits I mentor. They’re anxious about their future, even after receiving assurances. How can we, as senior colleagues, support these freshers and help them build the confidence to grow within the organisation despite the recent news?
Ans: Freshers entering the workforce often feel vulnerable, and recent layoffs only amplify their anxiety. While official reassurances help, they need real support from senior colleagues like you who understand their fears firsthand. The best way to help them is by creating a sense of stability and mentorship.
Start by acknowledging their concerns rather than dismissing them. Let them know that feeling anxious in uncertain times is normal but that their focus should be on skill-building rather than fear. Encourage them to upskill, take on challenging projects, and develop a strong professional network within the company. Sharing your own experiences—how you navigated uncertainty and built your career—can give them a sense of direction.
If possible, organize informal mentorship sessions where freshers can openly discuss their worries and seek guidance. The more they feel supported, the more confident they will be in their roles. Remind them that every company goes through fluctuations, and their best defense is becoming valuable employees who can adapt and grow despite external challenges.

...Read more

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  |5 Answers  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am working in a psu and getting around 80k monthly and my wife is working at tata steel and getting around 60k. We both live in different cities around 330km away. My child who is 3.5 yrs old stays with my wife. At present my wife is having a backache. Along with houshold chore and job , she found it very difficult to manage , hence she wants to resign from job. Everybody out there who is listening this giving a red flag. I as a husband supporting her decision but i have fear that in future if regrets about her decision then what will happen. As a husband what should i do. She jas the opinion that after resign i wll do something onilne course and start something. In this scenario what I should prioritise?
Ans: It’s natural to worry about your wife’s future regrets, but the key here is to focus on her immediate well-being. Managing a job, a household, and a child while dealing with back pain is a lot to handle, and if she feels resigning is the best option, supporting her is the right thing to do. However, rather than seeing this as an end to her career, help her frame it as a transition.
Have an open conversation about her long-term plans. If she wants to do an online course and start something new, encourage her to research options before resigning so that she has a clear path forward. Financially, your combined income is strong, but it’s still important to plan for stability. Instead of rushing into a resignation, she could consider options like taking a temporary break, exploring remote work, or reducing work hours before making a final decision.
Your role as a husband is to support her without letting fear cloud your judgment. Trust that she is making the best decision for herself right now. At the same time, ensure that she is thinking ahead so that she doesn’t feel lost once she steps away from her job. By balancing emotional support with practical planning, you can help her transition smoothly without future regrets.

...Read more

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  |5 Answers  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

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Relationship
I'm the single child of my parents, I'm catholic christian and my boyfriend is hindu. They are concerned about society, religion and future generation religion will be changed. I love him so much and my family so much. If I leave my parents for my love they will get into trouble as there are no one to console them and if I leave my love , I didn't lead a happy life...struck between these....
Ans: You’re in a difficult position where choosing either side feels like a loss. Your parents are worried about religion, society, and the future of your family, while you are caught between your love for them and your partner. It’s understandable to feel torn, but the key here is finding a way to make them see that this isn’t about choosing one over the other—it’s about creating a life where both can exist.
Your parents’ fears likely stem from societal pressure and uncertainty about how an interfaith marriage will work. Instead of confronting them with frustration, approach them with empathy. Let them know that you respect their concerns but also need them to respect your happiness. Help them see that love and faith are not mutually exclusive, and that you’re committed to finding a way to honor both traditions.
It might take time for them to come around, and they may initially hold on to the idea that you should choose. During this period, keep showing them that you’re still the same person who values them deeply. Over time, consistent love and understanding can help bridge the gap. If they remain firm, the choice ultimately comes down to what will make you happiest in the long run. But before reaching that point, exhaust every effort to help them see your perspective.

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