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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2023

Hello, Maam. Main Software professional hoon aur 1 saal se jobless hoon. Pandemic me WFH ki wajah se mujhe depression ho gaya aur 2 jobs se fire kiya gaya. Finances kafi tight hain. Interview ke calls bhi nahi aate aur tayaari karne ki motivation bhi nahi rahi. Mere skills aur Job expectations me kafi gap hai. Unki expectation hoti hai ke main team manage karun aur mujhe sirf limited technical skill hain. Social anxiety hai to isliye kisise zyada effectively interact nahi kar pata. Isliye mere actual experience aur job expectations match hi nahi hotey. Is hadd tak ki mujhe koi bhi job karne se aversion sa ho gaya hai. Din par din sirf frustrate hota hoon aur har din sirf half-hearted efforts mein guzarta hoon. Main depression ki wajah se zyada kuch efforts nahi dal pa raha hoon. Secondly aaye din ghar me disharmony rehti hai. Aisa nahi hai ke wife is not understanding- aur main har koshish karta hoon ghar ke help karne ki, but even she has her human limits. CBT ke bare me suna tha par people say ki kafi sare sessions karne hote hain and it takes long time. Further, finances ka soch ke main psychologist ka help nahi le raha. Aise treatment se mindset theek hona alag baat hai par job market/ mera job expectations mismatch par kuch khas farak to nahi padega. Yehi soch kar I am not consulting anyone. Mental health par kafi VDOs bhi dekhe- mujhe pata hai mere sath kya ho raha hai but chaah kar bhi apne aap ko in sab se bahar nahi nikal pa raha. Mujhe pata hai somewhere I am sinking in the quick sand. Please, please help me with your advice.

Ans: Main samajh sakti hoon ki aap is samay kaisi chunautiyan hain aur aapki sthiti kaafi kathin ho sakti hai. Aapke vyaktigat aur vyavsayik jeevan ke samasyaon ka samna karna akele hi mushkil ho sakta hai. Aapke liye kuch sujhav hain jo aapko madadgar saabit ho sakte hain:

Mental Health Par Dhyan Dein: Depression ko ignore na karen. Aapke liye behtar hoga ki ek mental health professional se sampark karen. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) ek prashansak tarika ho sakta hai aapke vyaktigat samasyaon ko samjhne aur samadhan nikalne ke liye. Isse aapke vichar dhara ko sudharne mein madad milegi.
Din Ka Samay Vyavasthit Karein: Din ke aarambh mein, apne din ke lakshya aur karyakram banaen. Regular dinacharya bana kar rakhein. Job search, upskill, aur apni mental health par dhyan dena sabko ek vyavsayik tarike se karne mein madadgar ho sakta hai.
Self-care: Khud ki dekhbhal bahut mahatvapurn hai. Prayayam aur yoga aapki sharirik aur mansik sthiti ko sudharne mein madad kar sakte hain.
Networking Improve Karein: Social anxiety ko overcome karne ke liye dhire-dhire koshish karein. Online forums, webinars, aur networking events mein participate karna aapko professionals se milne aur communication skills ko sudharne mein madadgar ho sakta hai.
UpSkill Karein: Aap apne technical skills ko aur behtar bana sakte hain. Online courses aur free learning resources ka istemal karke apne resume ko aur mazboot bana sakte hain.
Financial Planning: Apni arthik sthiti ko samajhna aur budget banane mein madadgar ho sakta hai. Aap apni financial priorities ko dobara dekhein aur avashyakata anusaar vyavasthit karein.
Spouse ke Sath Communication: Apni patni ke saath samvedansheel aur khulke taur par baatcheet karein. Aap dono milkar samasyaon ka samadhan nikal sakte hain aur ek-dusre ka saath denge.
Manav Seva: Agar aapke paas samay aur sthiti ho, to kisi samajik sankathan ya seva mein shaamil ho kar aap apne samay ko prayog kar sakte hain. Isse aapko na sirf samajik sukh milega, balki aapka manobal bhi sudhar sakta hai.
Yad rahe ki chote kadam se hi bade parivartan aata hai. Is sab mein dhairya aur samay lag sakta hai, lekin aapko apni sthiti ko sudharne aur naye mauke khojne mein madad milegi. Aur sabse mahatvapurn baat, kisi visheshagya se sampark karna aapke liye labhdayak ho sakta hai, chahe wo job expectations, samasyaon ka samadhan, ya manasik swasthya ho.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Relationship
Hi Anu , This Raaj here this side, I have seen your views on the relationship here on this site . so for that I need your help and your valuable expertise . About myself I am 42 yrs self employed businessman ,I got married in march 2010, it was a arrange marriage . from the day 1 there is a problem and it increases day after day. From the that wedlock I had baby girl . from 2012 situation got worsened matrimonial cases started it continued for next 4-5 yrs . after long battle I got divorced in 2016-17. This divorce cost me a lot , bcoz of that I lost my friends , social stigma, financial lost ( hefty alimony)and lot other problem which are associated with this . Now the main problem comes here , as after my divorce I was not ready to get re marry again but my parents are pressuring mr to get settle again ASAP. After long persuation I said ok …. I started searching my own and parents also started there own . In last 4 yrs I have seen lot of prospects ……..( kissi ko main nahi pasand , kissi ko mera kamm nahi pasand , kissi ko mere parents ke sath rehna nahi pasand …….. kissio ko meri income se problem hai,……………toa kuch mujhe nahi jachi.)there is lot of pressure on me that I should be perfect now after my divorce . after all this I had few good prospects ………….1. she was good but she wasnot happy with my income , she said no to me initially but continued talking and we are still in touch as she moved to Australia in APR 2019.As now we r really very good friends now ,Jab main usme interested tha toa usne na boll diya ………but jab usne dubarra reconsider karke propose kiya toa maine na boll diya. Than in 2020 COVID hits which upsets everybody’s life .360degree . In NOV 2020 I met 1 girl on one of the matrimonial sites ….we shared our details stated talking to each other , she liked me but didn’t responded her positively but continued our talks………in march2021 pata nahi kaise aur kyu …..maine use propose kiya…… maine use milne uske passd gaya ……….we talked …..shared our thoughts ….spend good time ……..but raat ko ghar vapis aa ke maine use NO kar diya . REASON is not known ya kahu toa main darr gaya tha .because of this she also got upst and that makes her depressed. For next 10 days I was so depressed I didn’t had my proper meal ……nothing all. I was in guilt ,that make me depressed for really long . I was only thinking about her only all the time nothing else, On 2nd JULY 21 ko maine pher user message kiya ………. After 2-3 days after my sorry and all that we started talking again. Everything stated good again .now in last week of july 2021 my father got severe heart attack ……and he had a surgery . Now they are pressuring me again that I should get settle soon ……..all my family members and sister and all. Maine Phir usko marriage ke liye tyar kiya aur phir batt ko STOP kar diya . and this tym mujhe gharwalo se aur sab se bahut anbun ho gayi. Ab mujhe samaj aa rahi ki main kya karu . main shaddi to karna chata hoon par kissi pe trust nahi kar pa raha hoon . mere ghar valo ka mujh pe bahut pressure hai . there are some other problem which I would like to disscuss in future . pls help me what should I do , I m feeling helpless . Thanks Raaj
Ans: Dear Raaj,
What is it that you want?
You seem to ready to get into a relationship because your family thinks so, your father had a heart attack and then they pressure you to find a girl to marry.
So, what is it that you want and want to do?
And the possible reason for not striking a chord with the women that you were interacting with. When you have decided what you want, it will show up in your body language, facial gestures and within the conversation. You are possibly still healing from your divorce and are not ready to get into another marriage. So, don't. First, sort your mind out and then think of another relationship.
So kindly, start to think for yourself ignoring what your family tells you. Yes, you need to do that. Family pressure is no reason to get married; of course they mean well and care for you. But, what you want is what matters here.
So, if you want to stop feeling helpless, take charge of your life and do what you think is right for you. Heal from your divorce and think about what you need in another relationship and in your partner. When you ready, then it's time. So, no more helplessness, only strength.

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |580 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2023
Relationship
Hello Anu, Hope you are doing good!! Background of Persons: I had arranged married since last once year. I already told them before proceeding that I want to continue my carrier and grow forward in the same city. Also, I want to leave in a joint family along with my parents. My spouse is working in government sector. She told me that my Job is transferrable and i am ok moving forward with you. I am working in MNC at good position and also supporting my family members in their business. Problem: My wife is forcing me to leave separately, shift to another city and start from scratch(zero) in different city having different cultural background. She is also working in government sector and not taking transfer to spouse(husband's) city. Even after explaining couple of times, she is resisting to re-allocate. I am ok if she does anything independently for earning in same city. Also, I will help her in getting the job in private sector in the same city. Also, I will get her employed in another sector through my contacts and preparing her. I am not dependent on her in terms of financial things. We are living separately due to work duties and spent time together for a week in every month or two month as per the adjustment from both of us. My spouse is not talking properly to me, threating me to get divorce. I already had financial and social liabilities on myself which my wife is aware about. I had not seen positive responses from her towards myself, my family and goals. I am ready to leave separately in the same city even if she earns or not. Question: It looks to high danger to me moving to different part of the country having different cultures starting from scratch based on assessments on different parameters. What is the better solution for this ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, there isn't much that you can do!
It's possible that your spouse suddenly feels that she might lose more than she gains by any move that she makes. You possibly feel the same.
This only means that both of you have not considered what marriage is and could be. You are using marriage to bring out differences rather than build trust. It's a year and if both of you have not managed to stay true to bringing the best out of each other, I wonder what will make you do that!

Kindly set aside the childish squabbles and suggest to your wife that the two of you need to work on this. Threats may kindly be kept aside...it only widens the gap between the two of you. Bring the conversation to a place where you talk about what it is now and how the two of you want it to be independently to you AND then work on bringing it to WIN-WIN...

Is this possible? Yes, it is provided you channel the conversation as mature adults without threats and pointing our faults and working towards putting the marriage together.

All the best!
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |78 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2023
Relationship
Hello Mr. Ashish, Hope you are doing good!! Background of Persons: I had arranged married since last once year. I already told them before proceeding that I want to continue my carrier and grow forward in the same city. Also, I want to leave in a joint family along with my parents. My spouse is working in government sector. She told me that her Job is transferrable and she is ok moving forward and leaving in my city along with your parents. I am working in MNC at good position and also supporting my family members. Problem: My wife is forcing me to leave separately, shift to another city and start from scratch(zero) in different state having different cultural and traditions. She is also working in government sector and not taking transfer to spouse(husband's) city. Even after explaining couple of times, she is resisting to re-allocate. I am ok if she does anything independently for earning in same city. Also, I will help her in getting the job in private sector in the same city. Also, I will get her employed in another sector through my contacts and preparing her. I am not dependent on her in terms of financial things. We are living separately due to work duties and spent less time together for a week in every month or two month as per the adjustment from both of us. My spouse is not talking properly to me, blocks me, add me to blacklist and threating me to get separated and take divorce. I already had financial and social liabilities on myself which my wife is aware about. I had not seen positive responses from her towards myself, my family and goals. I am ready to leave separately in the same city even if she earns or not. This is impacting my performance in my work. Question: It looks to high danger to me moving to different part of the country having different cultures starting from scratch based on assessments on different parameters. Also, she does not want to take the household chores responsibility. How can be of sure that I can trust her for co-operation in a unknown city? What is the better solution for this ?
Ans: Hello! It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. It's important to address these issues with care and open communication. Here are a few steps you could consider taking:

Open Communication: It's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse. Try to understand her perspective and the reasons behind her resistance to moving to your city or taking up a job in the private sector. Share your concerns and feelings as well. Having a calm and respectful discussion can help you both reach a deeper understanding of each other's needs and concerns.

Seek Professional Help: If communication isn't resolving the issues, it might be helpful to involve a professional, such as a marriage counselor or therapist. They can provide an unbiased perspective and guide you both through productive conversations to find solutions that work for both of you.

Explore Compromises: Is there a middle ground that you both can agree upon? Maybe it's possible for her to find a job in the same city, even if it's not the same sector. Or perhaps you could discuss a timeline for her to explore opportunities in your city. Finding compromises can help address both of your needs and concerns.

Consider Long-Term Plans: Think about the long-term implications of your decisions. Moving to a new city with different cultural norms and starting from scratch can be challenging, especially if you have existing commitments and a stable life where you are now. Evaluate the pros and cons carefully before making a decision.

Personal and Professional Goals: It's important to keep your personal and professional goals in mind. You have worked hard to achieve your position and support your family. Make sure any decisions you make align with these goals while also considering your spouse's desires and career aspirations.

Financial Independence: You mentioned that you are financially independent. If your spouse is also capable of being financially independent, discuss how you both can contribute to your shared expenses and responsibilities, regardless of where you live.

Future Planning: If moving is inevitable, plan ahead. Research the new city, its job opportunities, and lifestyle. Think about how you can support each other during the transition and beyond.

Time and Patience: Complex issues like these take time to resolve. Be patient and understanding with each other as you work through your differences.

Remember that both partners need to compromise and work together for a successful and fulfilling marriage. It's important to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and understanding each other's perspectives as you navigate through these challenges. If the situation becomes increasingly difficult to handle, seeking professional help can provide guidance and clarity.
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Latest Questions
Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2023

Career
Can you please give me any tips for preparing for GRE?
Ans: Hello Vishal,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear about your plans on preparing for the Graduate Record Examination (GRE). To prepare well and secure good grades, I would suggest the following tips:

1. Get to know the structure or format of the GRE
2. Make a study plan
3. Make use of authentic GRE study resources or guides
4. Practice on a regular basis
5. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses in each component of the GRE. Also, pay more attention to the areas that require improvement.
6. Sharpen your mathematical abilities by solving maths problems
7. Write Essays and pay heed to the format, flow of the essay, and clarity.
8. Enhance your vocabulary through vocabulary apps and flashcards.
9. Brush up on your reading skills by reading journals, newspapers, and literature.
10. Appear for Mock Exams
11. Understand the mistakes you have made in the mock exams and learn from them.
12. Do not practice continuously, engage in brief breaks during study sessions to remain alert and concentrate better.
13. To acquire more guidance, make use of GRE test prep books, engage in courses online, or consider hiring a teacher.
14. Register for the GRE exam well before you intend appearing for the test in order to obtain a seat.
15. If you plan on appearing for the GRE in offline mode, ensure that you visit your exam centre beforehand.
16. Be mindful of any modifications in the structure of the GRE or its rules as well as any updates.
17. Maintain a Healthy Balance
18. Master Time Management. Answer easy questions first and save the difficult ones for later. Avoid dedicating ample time to one question.
19. Stay Confident and remain assured to earn good grades in the test.
20. On the day of the test, carry all the required materials, including the ID and the admission test card.

Preparing for the GRE examination requires one to put in a lot of effort and time. I would suggest that you create a study plan in accordance with your personal strengths and weaknesses.

For more information, you can visit our website.
(more)
Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 24, 2023
Career
I have completed my BE in Mechatronics in 2016. Then i started working in embedded electronic segment. But now i want to do masters from USA with top universities in power electronics. What is process. Which university will be best. Is power electronics will be good choice as academically i am from mechatronics background but professionally i am from embedded and power domain.
Ans: Hello,

To begin with, thank you for contacting us. I am glad to hear about your plans on pursuing a Master's degree in the USA. As an answer to your question, I would like to let you know that it is indeed possible and rather a fruitful step to shift from a Bachelor's degree in Mechatronics to a Master's degree in Power Electronics in the United States. Take the following steps into consideration.

1. Conduct a thorough study and choose: As the first step in the process, I would recommend that you conduct an extensive study on the field of your choice i.e. power electronics and take into account the employment possibilities it has to offer. Although you have a background in mechatronics as previously mentioned by you, you should make sure that the field of power electronics matches your career objectives and interests, and for the same, I suggest that you get in touch with field experts as they will be able to advise you better.

2. Select Universities: There are a number of universities that are renowned for their programs in the field of power electronics. I recommend that you conduct a comprehensive study and list universities. University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, University of California, Berkeley, Stanford University, and University of Michigan are among the prominent ones. In addition, the university’s location, scholarship opportunities they have to offer, the experience of faculty members, and the likelihood of you securing admission should also be taken into account.

3. Appear for the GRE and English Proficiency Tests viz., IELTS or TOEFL: Majority of the universities in USA require students to prepare for and undertake the GRE i.e. Graduate Record Examination. You may also be required to prove your fluency in the English language through appearing for English competency tests viz. the IELTS or TOEFL, if English is not your first language.

4. Submit a Strong Personal Statement or Statement of Purpose: Next, I would suggest that you draft a strong personal statement or Statement of Purpose that outlines your reasons for wanting to pursue a Master's degree in Power Electronics, how your training in mechatronics as well as your hands-on experience in the embedded and power sectors will help you succeed, and the reasons behind selecting the universities you intend applying to.

5. Submit Academic Marksheets and Endorsement Letters: Along with the SOP, you will also need to submit your BE program marksheets, and obtain strong recommendation letters from instructors and employers who can attest to your educational and work abilities.

6. Take necessary courses: As mentioned earlier, you have a background in mechatronics and now wish to pursue your Master's in Power Electronics. To aid in your transition from mechatronics to power electronics, and to fill in the knowledge gap between your training in mechatronics and the particular demands of power electronics, you may be required to appear for certain prerequisite courses. The courses that you may be required to appear for are mentioned on the websites of the universities.

7. Plan your Finances: Studying in the USA can be a costly affair, and so I suggest that you plan your finances adequately. Take into account your financial circumstances. Also universities in USA offer ample scholarships and assistantships, look into the possible financial aid options that universities have to offer.

8. Make Applications to Universities: As part of the application procedure you will need to submit all the necessary documentation, pay the required application fees, and adhere to application deadlines. I suggest that you complete each university’s online application procedure.

9. Apply for a Visa: On receiving a Letter of Acceptance from the university, as the next step in the process, you will be required to apply for a student visa. Generally, an F-1 visa is required to study in USA. I suggest that you submit the required paperwork and adhere to all the visa prerequisites.

10. Prepare to Migrate: The final step in the process will require you to make all the necessary arrangements. Arrange for accommodation, obtain a medical insurance, and make arrangements for other requirements in the country. Understand the customs and academic standards of the country.

As an answer to your query whether power electronics is a good choice or not, I would like to tell you that as you have expertise in the power and embedded sectors, this field can be a fantastic one. Different sectors viz., electric vehicles, renewable energy, consumer electronics, etc. all depend on the field of power electronics. As mechatronics frequently includes the combination of mechanical systems, control systems, and electronics, your knowledge in the field of mechatronics can offer a distinct viewpoint.

Lastly, the university that you select should resonate with professional ambitions and research pursuits with the filed of power electronics. I would suggest that you conduct a thorough study on not only the courses but also the expertise of the faculty members at each university to ascertain which one best suits your educational and professional goals.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2023
Career
I am doing WILP M.Sc IT first year BITS It is a course of 2.5 years in BITS. Can i join for 2nd year in abroad universities
Ans: Hello,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear about your plans on deciding to pursue the 2nd year of your WILP M.Sc IT BITS Pilani program at a university overseas. As an answer to your query, I would like to inform you that a number of factors including overseas universities’ guidelines as well as your BITS Pilani program’s acknowledgement play a vital role in deciding whether or not you are eligible to pursue the second year of the program at a university abroad. Please take the following factors into account:

1. Consider the program’s acknowledgement and accreditation: Accreditation or getting certified guarantees a student that his/her degree is legitimate and recognized by universities across the globe. As the first step in the process, I would suggest that you make sure that the pertinent academic institutions in India as well as overseas, both recognize as well as accept the WILP M.Sc. IT program at BITS Pilani.

2. Get to know the Transfer Guidelines: Transfer students are generally accepted by certain universities. Nevertheless, they possess unique prerequisites and constraints, and thus, in my opinion, it’s best to consult your preferred universities overseas in order to understand their guidelines with respect to the credit transfer from other schools/universities.

3. Familiarize Yourself with prerequisites for Admission: For transfer students, varying prerequisites for admission may be set forth by varying universities. I suggest that you get to know and adhere to not only their education criteria but also their prerequisites for language competency.

4. Ensure a coherence between the course curriculum: You will need to make sure that there is a coherence between the course of study that was completed by you at BITS Pilani and the program of study at the international university. Remember that in order to fill in any gaps, you may be needed to appear for other extra courses.

5. Plan your Finances: Pursuing studies overseas can be a costly affair, and for this reason, you will need to ensure that you have sufficient funds to pay for your living costs, tuition fees, as well as other miscellaneous expenditures.

6. Get in touch with education counselors: To better comprehend the consequences and the steps involved in the process of transferring to a foreign university, I highly recommend that you get in touch with education counselors at BITS Pilani as they will be in a better position to offer specialized advice based on your circumstances.

7. Get to know the Application Deadlines: You should get to know the last date to apply to your preferred universities overseas. For that, I recommend that you start planning well in advance and send in your application as per schedule.

8. Follow Visa and Immigration Prerequisites: There are visa and immigration prerequisites associated with studying overseas that you will be required to look in. To be able to study in your preferred country, I suggest that you adhere to the visa requirements in order to acquire the appropriate authorization.

I would like to inform you that transferring to an overseas university to pursue the second year of your studies is indeed possible. Nevertheless, you will need to take into account all the aforementioned aspects and plan meticulously. To see if you qualify and to understand the likelihood of transfer, I recommend that you conduct an extensive study and directly get in touch with each university as each may have unique prerequisites and guidelines.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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