Hi, Me and my wife both are of same age. We had an arranged marriage and are married for 8 years. We have two kids. She has ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ and its very difficult to live with her. I am giving her meds without her knowledge since 8 years with which its just manageable and going along. But life has become very troubled. All my dreams and goals remain unfilled. Also if somehow one day meds are not given, it becomes like hell. because of this i am almost completely isolated from my parents and siblings. Talking to her is not a solution and getting expert advise from psychiatrist is also impossible as she wont go to psychiatrist or psychologist. She also has less insight. How to come out of this mess?

Dear Anu, I've been married to my wife for 10 years. In the last 2 years or so I find it difficult to understand her. Once every 2 or 3 months she goes into depression, and brings up old conversations between my mother and sister. It is not that they are perfect; however they have already moved on. She blames I didn't support, if the conversations happened in front of me then I can support but didn't happen. Also, my mother and sister they don't talk to me anything about those conversations. I love her and I have asked her to seek medical help but she doesn't want. I want to help and at the same time I need help.

My wife has schizophernia and mood disorder, married in 2008 we dont know about this and in laws didnt tell us too. I have 2 children 12 and 5. She is sitting all day in room and doing nothing. Eating in odd hours no hygeine My mother looking after the kids. Socially we cannot go anywhere as 1 person need to look after her. We are ging her medicine for last 12 years but nothing happenin What should i do, i am working in private sector and worried about kids

Hi! I am married now for 4 years and have a 18 months old child. My wife is having Borderline Personality Disorder and often talks about ending the marriage but when she is normal, she credits me for such an understanding husband. She doesn't acknowledge that she has such disorder from before marriage. I am very disallusioned about what step to take more so because of my daughter. Shall I go for divorse? Please advice.

Hi Ms. Anu, I need some different way of looking at the mess I am in. We are a very well educated couple married since past 16 years and very well settled (financially) abroad. We married after a courtship with blessings of both families and we do have a kid who is doing well atleast academically. The marriage has been a mess all these years starting within a couple of years after marriage. I do come from a very close knit middle class with a mentality/ upbringing to carryon whatever the odds are for wellbeing of kid also the spouse. My wife come from a pretty broken family where none of the family members are staying together or on routine talking terms. I do strongly feel that she has a borderline personality disorder which she refuses to atleast seek help available even to confirm or reject it. She has no good friends and her relations are very superficial with lot of white lies. Living with her is like walking on needles not knowing when she goes off. It has literally made me and my kid apprehensive every other minute dealing with her. She has given up her career in India and is a home maker here and I do respect that a lot but she is also very apprehensive to try out anything over here in spite of so many opportunities .I really don’t have any problem with it as we don’t have any financial need for it. She has best of everything we have/ earned over here, I never question her regarding even routine needs and try to work around her choices. We are like roommates living in a big house in separate rooms bringing up kid in best possible way. It sort or drains me out both mentally and physically and even affects my professional progress. Every attempt to discuss amicably ends with a fight. She has no social support to even fallback or ask for help. For me I don’t want to divorce her as I do know she won’t be able to survive alone over here or in India also I don’t want this to even put a small mental scar on my kid. I am trying out the best possible way I can but I do fear I might breakdown some day or the other leaving them in bad position. I dont have any affairs, I don’t even drink/ smoke/ gamble. I am just a simple person trying to live comfortably and bringing up the kid in best possible was as every other person.