I have nonlogical,opposite thinking n working spouse(wife) with NPD

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If the marriage and the person is important, you know you will do what it takes to get things back to what they were. She is just playing around to get your attention and of others as well.
Your children are the biggest supporters in this journey and YEs, it requires patience.
If you have decided to give up, then you will continue with this fault finding with her. Can you change the past? Then why keep talking about it?
Think about what is important now in the relationship and do just that. It isn't easy, but it isn't impossible either!
And to make this possible, you need to clear your mind from the past baggage and move ahead. I am sure you can do this otherwise you would not have interacted twice with me. You want things to get better and I am sure you can look at the suggestions made and do what's best for the family.

I wish the best!

Ans: Dear Ashok,
Has NPD been clinically diagnosed? There is a lot of material floating on the internet about psychological and mental conditions with online tests very inconsistently concluding that the person taking the test, has a disorder of some kind. So, clinical assessment by an expert is very necessary before coming to conclusions of any kind.

What may seem illogical to you, is logical at some level for your wife. Parallel way of thinking and doing things are not indicative of any illogical behaviour. I am limited here in my suggestions for you as I don't know if she indeed has NPD.
- If NPD has been clinically diagnosed, you may approach the same expert for counselling/coaching sessions to improve communication between you and your wife with focus on certain behavioural therapy

- If NPD has not be clinically diagnosed, it's safe to assume that you and your wife are very different people. Understanding each others' differences and accepting them will go a long way in creating a free flow of communication with no judgements whatsoever. Even if at times, it may seem to be illogical, you can express the same to her and request her help in order for you to understand her better

So, now you know which of the two you need to go with.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When one is used to working and managing home as well, it gets a tad bit difficult to just take care of only the responsibilities at home, It can get very dull and monotonous.
Encourage your wife to take on newer challenges that involve getting physically and mentally fit.
It could be learning a new sport or going to the gym or taking up a project that involves her stepping out of home and interacting with people.
She must make that effort if she wishes to move out of the current lethargy state that she is in.
If she does not take that step, then I suggest meeting with a professional who can help break her mind state to move into a better space.

All the best!