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How to balance family needs with sister's childcare requests?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1312 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, My sister is married and lives jus couple of house away from our home both sister and husband work at an MNC they are blessed with baby boy. I to got married recently and we are planning for baby. My wife has an issue wherein my sister almost mon to fri drops her kid at our home from morning to evening stating they have office work and this is affecting my wifes mind i am not sure what i need to do. I want everyone to be happy i dnt want to spoil anything.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ever heard of the word, 'NO'? It's used to draw boundaries. Of course, since it's family that you are talking about here, you can soften the 'NO' BUT never give explanations as people can latch on to that and find another way to push the boundary.

This is what you said:
I want everyone to be happy i dnt want to spoil anything.
>>>
Well, you can't have the cake and eat it too, yeah? Be clear on what you want! When you push back your sister and family, there is bound to be some disappointment from them, but when you know that it's going to help your wife and you, then be firm about it. Someone maybe unhappy and that does not mean that you have spoiled anything...it simply means that they are learning newer ways of adapting to newer arrangements of living and leading life.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1312 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
I’m 39 male, married for last 10 years and have 2 kids. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family with my two elder sisters. One of my sisters got married in 2012 and got divorced. She lives with me and my other sister got married 4 years ago. She lives with her husband in the same house. We have a big bungalow. My 2nd sister’s husband’s house is very small and my sister doesn't want to live there that's why she lives in the same house with me. The problem is my wife doesn't want to live there with my sister. She always asks why your sister is not going to her husband’s house? Why is she living here? They don't like each other. They talk to each other for the sake of formality. I told my sister to go and live with her husband's house but she says 'I don't want to live there with their family; I will live here. This is my parents’ house.'Because of this I don't talk to her too much. My wife says I don't want to live here with them, let us stay in another house. But I cannot afford another home. I tell my wife that stay here because we cannot afford another home. This is our home. But she does not understand and we fight every week about this. I am stuck and cannot focus on my work because of this. Pls suggest what should I do?
Ans:

Dear C,

It’s a small crowd that you are all living in.

Too many people in one home can have its highs and lows. Privacy can be invaded and too many interferences from family members can cause a crack in the marriage.

Having said this, I do empathize with the fact that affordability of another home is an issue here.

So, have you tried getting back to the drawing board, bringing in all the members together and literally asking them to throw all that they have for and against one another.

If not, please initiate this. Simply explaining to your wife isn’t going to solve the problem.

If so many of you live under one roof, then it becomes everyone’s responsibility to pool in physically, financially and emotionally.

Your 2nd sister cannot cite reasons that she doesn’t want to live at her husband’s home. If she lives with you, how is she contributing to the home?

These are things that must be ironed out sooner than later. So, what are you waiting for?

Plunge in, bring everyone into the ring, talk, delegate responsibilities and ask them how they would like to contribute and share.

This will also allow your wife a feeling that you care, but that she needs to know your financial situation as well.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |420 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a healthy boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and dropped the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happened weekly once or twice for 2 month(maximum 10 calls). they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife's reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin. Even he calls my wife's mother sometimes honey (she is very aged 60 years).it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. this is not even a issue for her that's why she did not discuss this with me. that's why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that. 1. Does the words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many friends in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occasionally. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women. Is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your queries one by one.
1. Yes, honey or dear can be friendly too. I cannot tell for sure if he was being friendly or flirty, but these are very common terms.
2. How can him calling your wife, or him being of questionable character make your wife “less pure than other women”? I am not sure how these two are even connected. She spoke highly about your relationship, never engaged in one-on-one conversation with the guy, and even stopped talking to him when he tried to call her separately. What is making you question your wife’s character still?
3. No. This isn’t cheating. Not on your wife’s part. Maybe the man did not have good intentions, but your wife did not indulge him. Even if we look at it from 100 different angles, this is not cheating.
4. When your wife spoke to him, none of you knew about his affair and his character. Then how is she responsible for it? And how is she responsible for his misdeeds anyway?
5. No, this does not affect your wife’s reputation in the society. Again, ask yourself, what is her fault in all of this? You are yourself saying they never met in person, never had a one-off conversation, etc.
Please understand that this man’s behavior is a reflection of his character, not your wife’s. It’s unfair of you to blame her or doubt her.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1312 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and drop the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happens weekly once or twice for 2 month. they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin.it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. thats why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that 1. Does words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many freinds in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occassionaly. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women's. is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is cheating and what is not is purely based on the Book of Rules that each of us have within us; it comes from the way we have been raised on a diet of 'right' and 'wrong' AND from our own experiences.
While validating whether a particular rule works well or not, just put in into context and see it.
- Does that rule keep you away from actually seeing things more openly?
- Does that rule keep you occupied with small things that hold no value?

I guess, you must think of it: is this really cheating? When your wife says that she has stopped talking to him, what makes you still obsess over it?
Also, her rule book says that 'honey' and 'dear' might not be a big thing...Plus, how can she control what another person says...yes, she could have objected and she didn't but not that she played on it.

See, the second doubts have crept in, the mind goes all over the place...even if there are no flirty messages, you will still find something problematic to confirm that what you were thinking in the first place.
So, maybe you need to look within to understand if there are jealousies and insecurities within you and that is what is occupying your mind. If Yes, then address this; speak with your wife and it's fine to tell her that you feel hurt and that you don't like it. When you are frank, a lot of things get sorted out...she may very well understand your point of view...and on your part, as you have said: she used to reply less and not respond much to him...
Do you want unnecessary thoughts drive a wedge in your marriage? Speak it out and things fall in place...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7066 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
Due to inflation I have withdrawn 1 cr from mutual funds where to invest now
Ans: With inflation reducing the purchasing power of money, investing strategically is essential. Redeploying Rs 1 crore effectively requires considering your financial goals, risk appetite, and time horizon. Let’s explore how you can create a robust plan to counter inflation and achieve financial stability.

Define Your Financial Goals
Before investing, clarify your financial objectives.

Short-Term Goals: Any requirements within the next 3 years, like buying a house or a car.

Medium-Term Goals: Goals 3–7 years away, such as children's education or large purchases.

Long-Term Goals: Goals beyond 7 years, such as retirement planning or wealth creation.

Diversify Across Asset Classes
To mitigate risk and enhance returns, diversification is critical. Here’s a breakdown:

1. Debt Instruments for Stability
Liquid Funds: Ideal for parking money for 6 months to 2 years. Offers better returns than savings accounts.

Short-Duration Bonds: Provides stable returns with lower risk for medium-term needs.

Fixed Deposits: For guaranteed returns, but ensure the interest rate beats inflation.

2. Equities for Long-Term Growth
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): Invest in equity mutual funds gradually to counter market volatility.

Diversified Mutual Funds: Suitable for moderate-risk investors seeking long-term wealth creation.

Blue-Chip Stocks: Focus on financially strong companies for stable returns over time.

3. Gold as a Hedge Against Inflation
Allocate 5–10% of your portfolio to gold.

Consider Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs) or gold ETFs for better liquidity and tax benefits.

4. Real Assets for Partial Stability
REITs (Real Estate Investment Trusts): Offers exposure to real estate without the burden of direct ownership.

Avoid investing in physical real estate solely for returns, as liquidity and high costs are concerns.

5. Emerging Options for Diversification
International Funds: Provides exposure to global markets, balancing domestic risks.

Balanced Advantage Funds: A mix of equity and debt dynamically managed based on market conditions.

Focus on Tax-Efficient Investments
Equity mutual funds have favourable tax treatment but check the new LTCG rules.

Consider investments like ELSS for tax-saving benefits under Section 80C.

For debt funds, remember their gains are now taxed as per income slabs.

Maintain an Emergency Fund
Allocate 6–12 months' worth of expenses in a highly liquid asset.

Use this as a buffer against unforeseen events and avoid dipping into your investments.

Periodic Review and Rebalancing
Monitor your portfolio regularly to ensure alignment with goals.

Rebalance annually to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Investment Do’s and Don’ts
Do’s
Diversify investments across multiple asset classes.
Prioritise inflation-beating returns, especially for long-term goals.
Invest systematically rather than in lumpsum for volatile markets.
Don’ts
Avoid direct real estate for investment purposes due to illiquidity and transaction costs.
Do not invest the entire corpus in high-risk options.
Steer clear of schemes offering unrealistic returns or unregulated avenues.
Final Insights
Reinvesting Rs 1 crore requires a clear strategy that matches your financial goals and risk tolerance. Diversify across equity, debt, gold, and emerging instruments for stability and growth. Keep inflation in check by focusing on tax-efficient and inflation-beating investments. Regular monitoring and adjustments will ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7066 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Money
Hello sir. My age is 41 . I have taken a different loan stage wise as need. My salary is 72000 and loan+credit card bill is around 68000 so it is very difficult to manage it. I have home loan of 18000 emi Personal loan emi 18800 pending emi 50 Personal loan EMI 11500 pending emi 24 Personal loan EMI - 4000 pending emi 30 Two wheeler loan EMI 3400 pending emi 12 Credit card due is 100000 I have buy 1 BHK flat on 4 th floor before 11 year as it market value remain same so I think to sell out for clear some due So it is advisable or not. Is any bank/institute/financial support is in market to provide a single loan to clear all your different loan n we need to clear only one EMI ???
Ans: Your current financial situation involves high debt obligations relative to your income. Managing these efficiently is crucial to improve cash flow and financial stability. Let us address the situation step-by-step and evaluate your options for reducing debt stress.

Current Financial Snapshot
Income: Rs 72,000 per month.

EMI Obligations: Rs 68,000 monthly across home, personal, and two-wheeler loans.

Credit Card Debt: Rs 1,00,000 outstanding balance.

Assets: A 1 BHK flat purchased 11 years ago, with little to no appreciation.

Challenges in Your Financial Scenario
High Debt-to-Income Ratio: A significant portion of your income goes towards EMIs.

Multiple Loans: Managing several EMIs increases stress and creates inefficiency.

Flat’s Value Stagnation: Limited appreciation in your flat reduces its utility as an investment.

Assessing the Sale of Your Flat
Potential Benefits
Clearing Debt: Selling the flat can reduce or eliminate some debts.

Cash Flow Relief: Reduced EMIs can provide more breathing room for monthly expenses.

Simplification: With fewer loans, managing your finances becomes easier.

Potential Risks
Loss of Asset: Selling the flat reduces your property portfolio.

Market Conditions: Stagnant market value may not yield significant proceeds.

Rent Costs: If you sell, you may need to spend on rent, impacting cash flow.

Considerations Before Selling
Assess the flat’s current market value and selling potential.

Calculate the total debt you can clear with the sale proceeds.

Evaluate the impact on future living arrangements and rental costs.

Exploring Debt Consolidation
Single Loan to Replace Multiple Loans
Many banks and NBFCs offer debt consolidation loans.

A single loan replaces all your current debts.

You pay only one EMI, making it easier to manage finances.

Benefits of Debt Consolidation
Lower EMI: Consolidation can reduce overall EMI through extended tenure.

Reduced Interest Rates: Personal loans and credit cards have high interest rates. A consolidated loan may offer lower rates.

Simplified Management: Fewer payment schedules reduce the risk of missed EMIs.

Key Considerations
Evaluate the total cost, including processing fees and interest.

Check your eligibility and credit score for better loan terms.

Avoid taking new loans after consolidation to prevent a debt spiral.

Reducing Credit Card Debt
Immediate Actions
Prioritise paying off your credit card balance due to high interest rates.

Convert the outstanding balance into an EMI option if your bank allows.

Avoid using credit cards until the balance is cleared.

Long-Term Management
Use credit cards only for essentials and pay full balances each month.

Set spending limits to ensure better control over usage.

Optimising Your Budget
Reduce Expenses
Categorise expenses and cut non-essential spending.

Use public transport or carpooling to reduce travel costs.

Review utility bills and optimise usage to lower costs.

Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List loans by interest rate and tenure.

Focus on high-interest loans like personal loans and credit cards first.

Use any bonuses or windfalls to prepay loans.

Generating Additional Income
Renting the 1 BHK Flat
If selling the flat is not feasible, consider renting it for extra income.

Use the rent to reduce EMI pressure or build a repayment fund.

Freelancing or Part-Time Work
Explore freelance opportunities that match your skills.

Use additional income to pay off debts faster.

Alternatives to Consider
Restructuring Loans
Approach your lenders to restructure loans with extended tenure or reduced EMI.

Ensure that restructuring terms are affordable and sustainable.

Balance Transfer
Transfer high-interest personal loans to lenders offering lower interest rates.

Use this to reduce overall interest burden and EMI.

Benefits of Working with a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner can provide a customised debt repayment plan.

They help manage finances effectively while maintaining focus on long-term goals.

Guidance ensures disciplined execution without additional debt accumulation.

Final Insights
Selling your flat can clear significant debt, but consider rental costs and market conditions. Debt consolidation can simplify EMIs and reduce interest costs, but evaluate its feasibility. Focus on paying high-interest loans first, optimise expenses, and explore additional income streams. Avoid accumulating further debt to regain financial stability. A structured approach will help you achieve long-term financial freedom.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7066 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi there - I have the following real estate portfolio - India - 2 Apartments fully paid and a single storey landed property (ancestral), 1 overseas property valued at 5 CR with around 2.4 cr loan pending. Currently, the landed property in India is rented out and I receive a meagre rent monthly of 10K INR. I was thinking of handing over to a builder to build an apartment complex and keep 3 apartments for myself based on what the builders offers (Of course I will have to buy 1 apartment and have the rent from those offset the other 2 apartments that the builder will give me). Either this, or I build another level on top and rent out the two separately. I this case I will have to invest additional 30L. Financially, I was wondering what would be a better option? I have no intention of staying there for another 15 years at least.
Ans: Your real estate portfolio is diverse and well-structured, with properties in India and overseas. This portfolio offers you flexibility, but it also requires careful decision-making to maximise returns and reduce liabilities. Let us assess your current situation and evaluate both options you are considering.

Strengths in Your Portfolio
Debt-Free Indian Properties: Fully paid apartments and an ancestral landed property offer financial stability.

Income Generation: While the rent of Rs 10,000 is modest, it provides a consistent income stream.

Overseas Property: Although it has a pending loan, its Rs 5 crore valuation indicates strong equity.

Challenges to Consider
Low Rental Income: The Rs 10,000 rent from the landed property is not financially impactful.

High Loan on Overseas Property: The Rs 2.4 crore liability needs to be managed strategically.

Future Commitment: Both your proposed options require significant time, effort, and financial resources.

Assessing Option 1: Handing Over to a Builder for an Apartment Complex
Advantages
Increased Asset Value: Converting the property into an apartment complex increases its market value.

Additional Income: Renting out multiple apartments can yield higher rental income.

Minimal Upfront Investment: The builder covers most costs, reducing your financial burden.

Ownership of Multiple Apartments: Retaining three apartments ensures future flexibility.

Disadvantages
Dependence on Builder’s Offer: The deal heavily depends on the builder’s terms and reliability.

Extended Timelines: The construction period could delay income generation.

Market Risks: Renting or selling multiple apartments depends on market conditions.

Key Considerations
Assess the builder’s reputation and financial stability.
Ensure transparent legal agreements with clear terms and timelines.
Evaluate the market demand for apartments in the location.
Assessing Option 2: Adding a Level and Renting Out Units
Advantages
Control Over Property: You retain full control over the construction process.

Quicker Completion: Adding a level is faster than constructing an entire complex.

Modest Investment: Rs 30 lakh is a smaller upfront commitment compared to other options.

Steady Rental Income: Renting out two units provides immediate and predictable cash flow.

Disadvantages
Limited Growth Potential: This option adds only incremental income and asset value.

Construction Challenges: Managing permits and construction quality requires your involvement.

Upfront Cost: The Rs 30 lakh investment may impact your liquidity.

Key Considerations
Plan for the Rs 30 lakh investment without disrupting other financial goals.
Ensure proper permissions for adding another level to the property.
Research rental demand and pricing for the additional units.
Financial Implications
Loan on Overseas Property

Prioritise repaying the Rs 2.4 crore loan to reduce interest costs.
Consider liquidating underperforming assets to reduce liabilities.
Rental Income Potential

The builder option may yield higher income but involves delays and uncertainties.
Adding a level provides immediate income but limits long-term growth.
Liquidity and Cash Flow

Avoid over-committing funds to construction or renovation.
Maintain an emergency fund to address unforeseen expenses.
Alternative Investment Suggestions
Instead of solely focusing on real estate, you can consider diversifying into financial instruments for balanced growth:

Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Offer consistent growth potential with professional fund management.
Provide liquidity and flexibility to align with financial goals.
Hybrid Funds
Blend equity and debt investments for stability and moderate growth.
Ideal for generating consistent income while preserving capital.
Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP)
Generate monthly income from investments while ensuring capital preservation.
Provides a reliable alternative to rental income.
Regular Funds vs Direct Funds
Regular funds ensure expert guidance and portfolio optimisation by Certified Financial Planners.
Direct funds require self-management, which may lead to errors and missed opportunities.
Tax Considerations
Capital Gains Tax: Selling any property will attract long-term or short-term capital gains tax.
Tax Savings: Reinvesting proceeds in financial instruments can optimise tax liability.
Final Insights
Both options for your ancestral property have pros and cons. The builder option offers long-term growth but requires careful negotiation and patience. Adding a level provides immediate income with lower financial risk.

Diversifying into financial investments can complement your real estate portfolio, providing liquidity and consistent returns. Assess your financial priorities and future plans before committing to a decision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1312 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am 38 years old. I have been living abroad since I was 21 years old. I have been focused on my career since then. I got married in 2021 in India and just after 4 months living in India, we again moved abroad. This country was new for me and my my wife, but my brother was already settled in this country with his family. As I was living away from my family for many years, me and my wife decided to live in a joint family with my brother’s family. However, I was quite busy adjusting to my new job, my wife couldn’t adjust well to my side of the family, my brother, his wife and my mother. After living together with everyone for a year, me and my wife decided to live separately from my side of the family. Now after 5 months my wife became pregnant and we both wanted to have a child. So even though my family was quite close and could have supported us during this time. I decided to sponsor my in laws on a visa so that my wife could feel supportive during this time. We had a girl child and I have avoided to communicate to my family during this one year so that my wife doesn’t get any stress or anything from my family. However as soon as we had a child, I have invited my mother and my brother family to visit my daughter. Now my in laws have started quarreling with me once in a while. And they convinced my wife to go to India with them. My wife has been living in India since last 6 months, they would never let me see my daughter over the phone call, and whenever I called them they would ask me for the money/gifts. Let me add to that when I went abroad, my wife was not working initially and I used to give her 30% of my salary and I used to bear all the expenses. When my in laws started living with us, I over heard them talking if I continued having relationship with my side of the family, she would buy her a home in India and take my daughter away from me. Now recently I came to India to get everything sorted, I do not think my wife would be willing to come with me without my in laws. How could I convince her to start over and repair our relationship for us and our beautiful daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7066 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hai, I am 46 yr old. I have been investing in SBI Energy Opportunities Fund regular growth plans since 1 year through SIP. The performance of this fund is not as expected compared to other funds. Should I continue my investment or lokk out for other better options. If so, please suggest some good investment options
Ans: Sector-specific mutual funds like the energy-focused fund you are investing in carry higher risks. They are more volatile compared to diversified mutual funds. This volatility happens because they depend heavily on the performance of a particular sector.

You are rightly evaluating your investment as it has underperformed. Let us analyse and suggest alternative approaches for better returns.

Challenges with Sector-Specific Mutual Funds
High Dependency on a Single Sector: Sector-specific funds rely on one sector. If the sector struggles, your returns may decline.

Volatility: These funds are highly cyclical and sensitive to market conditions.

Not Ideal for SIPs: Systematic investments in sector-specific funds may not yield consistent returns. This is because the sector may not perform well during the investment period.

Benefits of Diversified Mutual Funds Over Sector-Specific Funds
Risk Mitigation: Diversified mutual funds invest across various sectors. This lowers the overall risk.

Consistent Performance: They tend to perform steadily across market cycles, offering balanced returns.

Flexibility: These funds adjust their portfolio allocation to changing market conditions.

What Should You Do with Your Current SIP?
Review Your Financial Goals
Decide whether the energy sector aligns with your long-term goals.

Monitor Fund Performance
Assess the fund's returns against its benchmark and peers over a 3-5 year horizon.

Gradual Exit Strategy
Avoid stopping SIP abruptly. Gradually reduce your exposure while reallocating to other funds.

Alternative Investment Options for Better Results
Actively Managed Equity Funds
These funds provide professional management to adapt to market changes.
They offer growth by investing in multiple sectors and market capitalisations.
Balanced Hybrid Funds
These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt.
They offer growth potential while ensuring stability in returns.
Flexicap Funds
These funds invest in large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
They give you a balance of risk and reward over time.
Why Regular Funds and Not Direct Funds?
Certified Guidance: Regular funds provide access to expert guidance from a certified financial planner (CFP).
Monitoring: A CFP tracks your investments and adjusts your portfolio.
Tax Efficiency: Regular funds help optimise tax liability through planned withdrawals.
Direct funds require you to manage all these aspects alone, increasing complexity and potential errors.

Taxation Considerations for Switching Funds
Equity Funds: Gains exceeding Rs 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5% for long-term capital gains (LTCG). Short-term gains (less than 1 year) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan your fund switches carefully to minimise tax impact.

Final Insights
Sector-specific funds, while appealing, may not align with your financial goals due to high risks and volatility. Moving to diversified or balanced mutual funds can ensure consistent growth with reduced risks. Opting for regular funds under a certified financial planner ensures professional guidance and effective portfolio management.

Invest wisely to secure stable and rewarding financial growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1312 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu I ma married man with age of 54 & my wife is 52 years. We are married since 30 years and we are not having good sexual relationship. She is more keen but i have some issues with my health. From the beginning I have disorders and do even ejaculate very soon. Because of this our relations are not that good. Now we are on the verge of separation but due to childrens who are quire grown up and settled in their life they are strictly against this decision of ours. My wife wants divorce from me and wants to settle down with someone else and at present there is no such person in her life. I also want divorce but of the last thought. How can I regain my sexual life again please let me know.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's really sad all the years of togetherness becomes nothing in front of physical relationships.
My suggestion would be to work on whatever is coming in between the two of you; which means what is stopping you from having a good sex life must be addressed.
It could be simple medical treatment or mind techniques to work on these challenges. Divorce in my opinion in your case, seems to be an impulsive move taken in frustration. Think it through and calmly address the main issue and work at it. Request your wife also to be a part of this. Do reconsider your decision to separate by trying to work out the differences. Even after that if things persist, then you know what you want to do. But at least give it a try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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