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Should I Marry My Girlfriend Who Has a Genetic Condition?

Aamish Dhingra | Answer |Ask -Follow

Life Coach - Answered on Mar 12, 2025

Aamish Dhingra is a life coach, educationalist and founder of Cocoweave Coaching International, which provides professional training to empower individuals and organisations.
With over seven years of experience in human resources, he specialises in corporate training, life coaching services and team coaching. His expertise lies in solving complex problems, leading innovative projects and delivering impactful solutions that drive growth and transformation.
Aamish completed his BBA (bachelor of business administration) from Amity University and MBA from Jamia Hamdard University, both in Noida.
He holds a PCC (professional certified coach) certification from the International Coaching Federation, USA, and a credentialed practitioner of coaching certification from the International Coach Guild, Australia.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi

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Hello, I am in relationship with a girl and she is started getting white patches. I am scared to marry her as it passes on genetically but at the same time I feel guilty of leaving her. I am so stuck in my life. What should I do?

Ans: It sounds like you’re facing a deep internal conflict - one between fear and love, between logic and emotion. And that’s completely human. Ask yourself - What are you truly afraid of? Is it the uncertainty of the future? The possibility of judgment? Or is it the weight of responsibility that love brings?
Relationships are rarely about guarantees. They’re about choices - choosing to stand by someone despite the unknowns, despite the imperfections. But the real question isn’t about her condition. It’s about you. What do you value more - certainty or connection? Fear or commitment? What kind of partner do you want to be, not just for her, but for yourself?
Because in the end, it’s not about genetics. It’s about who you choose to be when faced with uncertainty. So, who do you want to become?
Wishing you success,
Aamish Dhingra
ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach
Co-Founder, Cocoweave Coaching International, Delhi

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Question by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2022Hindi

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Love Guru, First let me tell you to be anonymous while publishing reply on this. I am having multiple health problems that might lead to early death as well. I don't want to hide this from my life partner. I'm in love with a girl, whom I can't marry as the law won't allow it under the Sapinda relationship (ed: referring to marriage between cousins within the Hindu community) clause. She too is madly in love with me. Recently she met a boy, whom she thinks she can marry and settle. I'm more than happy to hear that as I am not sure with my regularly weakening health condition, I can be with her for life. I have already asked her to go forward with the marriage proposal. I don't know if can live without her. Somehow I'm getting a feeling that I'm running away from my responsibility. Not sure what to do. Can you please advise?

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You’re not running away from responsibility, you’re sparing her the responsibility of playing caregiver to you as your health deteriorates and, more importantly, leaving her bereft of a life partner at a young age.

I’m sorry to hear that you have such severe issues but, as difficult as it is for you, I do think this is the right decision if you’re putting her happiness before yours.

The fact that she’s agreed to marry someone else also should also tell you that, inherently, even she is hesitant about your situation.

Moreover, there’s the Sapinda clause, legally speaking, which won’t permit you to marry... you haven’t disclosed just how closely the both of you are related here.

So, all circumstances considered, I think her moving on with someone else is in her best interests.

I wish you health and happiness.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

Question by DD - Sep 22, 2022Hindi

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Dear mam I am 22 years old boy.And I feel like I am in depression past 6 months because of my own eyes which makes me cry every dayI have a disease called glaucoma which will make me blind.And thinking about that it hurts me kills me due to this I can't even imagine anything good will happen to me.And I have girlfriend who loves me more than anyone. What should I do? My eyes are not perfect.I have a power of -18 in both eyes.It's not good for anyone to marry a blind guy like me, which kills me even more.Do you think I should I marry her with my imperfection?

Ans:

Dear DD,

I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Life isn’t fair and the odds can be heavy, but the one who weathers it all, is a true soldier.

I assume that you have consulted eye specialists to assess the condition of your eyes and that you have done everything in your power to arrest or slow down the condition.

Having said this, the girl that you love has every right to know about what you are going through and yes, she must have the option to choose if she wants to spend the rest of her life with you.

Whatever and however life takes you along, meet it with a smile.

Feeling sorry for yourself is the worst thing you can do right now. Who knows, you might find a support group of people who are going through a similar situation as yours.

Lift your chin up and learn more on how you can arrest the deterioration of the eyes.

Be in the healing energy of Nature everyday and most importantly allow the love and support of your family to become your strength as you move on with force and faith.

All the best.

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