I’m 39 male, married for last 10 years and have 2 kids.
We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot.
We live in a joint family with my two elder sisters. One of my sisters got married in 2012 and got divorced.
She lives with me and my other sister got married 4 years ago. She lives with her husband in the same house.
We have a big bungalow. My 2nd sister’s husband’s house is very small and my sister doesn't want to live there that's why she lives in the same house with me. The problem is my wife doesn't want to live there with my sister. She always asks why your sister is not going to her husband’s house? Why is she living here? They don't like each other. They talk to each other for the sake of formality.
I told my sister to go and live with her husband's house but she says 'I don't want to live there with their family; I will live here. This is my parents’ house.'
Because of this I don't talk to her too much. My wife says I don't want to live here with them, let us stay in another house. But I cannot afford another home.
I tell my wife that stay here because we cannot afford another home. This is our home.
But she does not understand and we fight every week about this.
I am stuck and cannot focus on my work because of this. Pls suggest what should I do?

I have been married for a little more than five years and I am living under tremendous stress and depression. We live in a joint family with my parents and an unmarried brother. I had told her all this before marriage. She loves me very much but her attitude towards my relatives has been a matter of concern right from the start. She does not want to keep a relationship with anybody apart from my immediate family. Slowly, she started having problems with my mother also; both have started having minor clashes at home. Many times, it is my mother’s mistake. The main problem is that she is very nagging and complains and gets irritated very frequently at the smallest instance. Frustrated, I planned on separating with her but the news came of her pregnancy and we were blessed with a baby girl. After the baby was born, my wife’s frustration and irritation has increased manifold because of her fear that my mother will give much more love to the baby then she can. So their clashes have increased. Now my wife has been putting a lot of pressure on me to look for a new house away from my parents, since she wants her own space. I already have a home loan on the existing home and a car loan. There is very less scope for me to purchase a new home and I don't want to leave my parents. She just doesn't understand my position and clashes happen between us. Looking at all this, I desperately want to separate from her but can't do so because of our daughter. I love her the most and can't live without her. So I just endure what is happening every day. This has resulted in me slipping into depression. It has affected my work in office as well. I am not performing well, I don't like to speak with any of my friends or relatives, I don't feel like doing anything. I’m living for the sake of my daughter, that's it. Even my parents are not in a position to understand me and my situation so I can't talk to them either. Can you help? Just don’t publish my name.

Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.

I got married in the year 2013 and it was an arranged marriage planned by my parents. I have only one sister who got married in the year 2012. My wife has some issues with my mother and my sister few months after I got married. The primary issue was that my mother and my sister do back biting about her on mobile phone. Although I always denied it and asked my wife to don't focus too much on it. However, last year my wife got call recordings from my mother's phone where my sister was talking meanly about my wife which even I did not like it. I called my wife and brother in law to my place to resolve the differences and it resulted in a better relationship. We recently moved to our newly built house and on the day of the function, my wife saw from a distance my mother and my sister talking to each other in a low tone. She thought they were again talking about her and she got angry. However, my mother denied it and said they were talking about some other issues. My sister came to our place few days after the function and my wife did not talk properly with her. That made my mother angry and she in turn did not talk well with my mother in law who came to our house just recently. Now my wife and mother don't talk to each other and the vibes are quite bad when I enter the house. What can I do to make these complex relations work better?

Hi I am 64 years old. Still workig in a Private company. My mother is 85 years old and she is with me since my father's death in 1985. I have lost my brother in an accident in 1985. I have three sisters all are living in my city only. My mother is almost bedridden. My wife, 62 years old is a heart patient and recently she has fallen and her knee got fractured. My wife and my mother never liked each other and always quarrel. My mother , being very week and helpless, always scolds my wife. We have made an arrangement with a catering guy who takes care of my mother's lunch. But dinner i have to prepare everyday which i have been doing for the last 20 years. My three sisters often come to visit my mother and give her fruits etc etc to please her. The problem is they agree to keep my mother in their homes once in while for two or three days but i have to beg them always when i have to go for any functions or to visit places , temples. But they never come forward to support me even if i am sick or if i have to attend any marriages, functions. This gives a scope for my wife to quarrel with me and many times we have cancelled our tickets just to be at home to look after my mother. Please tell me what to do do. I am also becoming old and want to take my wife with me to attend functions and to show her the places, as a husband. And my wife always quarrels with me that if at this age when we are able to walk and capable of going to places, when can we go ? I am not able to convince my three sister(elder one is already bedridden so i can not ask her )_ nor i am in a position to do justice to my wife's pleas. Please suggest me.