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20 Year Old Sam Confused About Arranged Marriage: Should I Go Through With It?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am sam i am 20 yr old . When I was 17 my parents talked an alliance i said I don't want to get married but they talked about the groomed so much that I accepted to get married then after 1 month i lied to him that I love someone but so he stopped after 2 yrs they are coming back thinking that I am mature now they want me to get married my dad said he want me to get married to that groom and I am flip flopping

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are young...please think of yourself, your career (if you are career oriented) and do find ways to make yourself financially independent first. That will give you focus on what you want in a life partner and then you will not nod your head to just anybody and everybody.
Use the next couple of years to build an identity for yourself will be my suggestion. But if you really think that you want to get married and what your parents think is right for you, then stop using so much of your mind into it. State a few things that you wish to see and have in the groom and if that is satisfied, what more is the problem?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024Hindi
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Hi Ma'am, I am a 29 year old female. My parents recently found a very rich boy who they want me to marry. Initially they asked me to meet him a couple of times and then see if we are a match. However, I met him once and my experience was not great - we have different values in life. I wasn't very happy after that meeting yet I thought I should meet him a couple of times before I make any decision. But now they are building a lot of pressure on me to say yes to him. They are saying things like I will not find anyone better than this, there are no other options out there, this is as good as it gets, I will be throwing away my life if I say no, this is god's blessing that I should just accept. They also said that if I say no, they will just yes to another guy who lives in Canada. I do not understand what is suddenly happening because this was not the case a month ago and they had mentioned that it is my life and if I say no, then it will be a no and there is no pressure. I don't know what to do really, I feel like I am stuck at a cross road
Ans: Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires more than just compatibility on paper. Shared values, mutual respect, and a genuine connection are foundational to a happy and fulfilling relationship. If you feel uncertain or uneasy after meeting this person, it’s worth honoring those feelings and giving yourself time to explore them further. One meeting is often not enough to decide, but neither is it fair for anyone to expect you to commit without clarity.

It might help to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about how this pressure is making you feel. Share your thoughts with them calmly, focusing on your perspective rather than framing it as opposition to their wishes. You could express gratitude for their care while also making it clear that you need space to make a decision that you can feel confident about. Remind them that rushing into a choice you’re not ready for could lead to regret, which is not what either of you wants.

If the pressure continues to escalate, consider involving someone you trust—maybe a relative, family friend, or counselor—who can mediate and help your parents understand your point of view. Sometimes, a neutral perspective can ease tensions and bridge the gap between what they want and what you need.

Above all, remember that this is your life and your happiness at stake. While their love and approval are important, the decision to marry should come from a place of certainty and alignment with your values and goals. It’s okay to take your time, ask for understanding, and prioritize what feels right for you. You deserve a partnership that brings joy, peace, and fulfillment, not one borne out of pressure or fear of missing out.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

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