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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |526 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024
Relationship

I’m feeling really lost right now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year, and things started out great. We have a lot in common, and we both enjoy going out with friends. But recently, I've noticed something that’s been bothering me. He works as a bartender, and every time I go to his bar, he gets upset about my friends being there. It feels like he’s trying to push me away from them, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Last weekend, we went out, and after a few drinks, I mentioned how uncomfortable it made me that he talked badly about my friends when they come to his bar. I thought I was being calm about it, but he just flipped out. He started yelling at me in the car, and I was so scared because he was driving way too fast and swerving. I told him I was going to call the cops, but he didn’t listen. Eventually, he pulled over, got out of the car, and started screaming and running around. It all felt so intense and out of control. When he came back to the car, things got physical. I slapped him in an attempt to make him stop, which I regret because I’ve never done that before. In the heat of the moment, he slapped me back and pushed me into a bush. The next day, I had bruises, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. Now, he’s been trying to buy me things and even booked a trip for us, begging me to stay. But I feel so unsure of what to do. I keep telling him that I need space, but it feels like he’s not really understanding the severity of what happened. I’m torn between wanting to make it work and realizing that this situation isn’t healthy. What should I do? Should I give him another chance or listen to my instincts and walk away for good?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, physical violence is never the answer to any problem. I think you already know that. Coming to your main query, I think you should take the chain of events that followed after you confronted him very seriously. It's not healthy to slap and be slapped back and pushed into a bush. I am sure he regrets it just like you, but it can become a pattern. I would strongly urge you to rethink this relationship. If you are keen on keeping it going, I recommend either having an open discussion about what happened to make sure it is never repeated, or even better, consulting a therapist to work through the issues. You can have concerns and queries as to why he doesn't like it when your friends are around- that does not warrant such a harsh reaction.

I hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |526 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 22 year old female with an engineering graduation passed before 6 months. I had an long term relationship with my boyfriend since 4.5 years. We both are from different cities of KA and currently in it's capital city. I socialize with my male friends, which my bf does'nt like and whenever we meet it always turns into a fight. During my college graduation day, I was told not to participate which I did'nt agreed yet participated. During this my bf saw me with my friends around me and slapped me in public. This happened many times. Even though I have had quite a intimate time with one of my classmate and kissed another one. I never had real S*x with anyone. The intimacy was only to show my anger on my bf. Now I changed my location after graduation, broke with my bf and now I have a deeper understanding & relationship with a man of 42 aged-married-2 kids and a yet good being. We both had good time, no trust issues, no s*x, yet intimacies for couple of times. He keeps me happy, joyful, helping me towards my profession and goal, respects, looks me well and yet never forced me for penetration. He has plans to fly to UK after 3-5 years and promised to take me with him supporting my profession. I was really contented and happy with this relationship. He even assured that marriage can happen between us, If I agree and If I can wait until he gets divorced from his wife. But one day, my ex bf friend called and said that he has met with an accident and is in severed health issues like (piles, kidney stones). He is basically a drunkyard. Seeing this I got agitated. Now I wanted to breakup with the current man and go back to by ex-bf because he is left alone and we had 4.5 years of relation. I don't whether I am correct or not, Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am not sure if you are right either way. Being in a relationship with a married man, who is yet to get divorce, is ethically incorrect, whether there is physical intimacy or not. At the same time going back to your ex merely because you feel sad for him is also not the right choice. You are yourself admitting that he is a drunkard and he was also controlling and above all he slapped you; there's no excuse for any form of physical abuse in a relationship. Being in love does not make it okay to hit your partner. Please understand that.

In my opinion, you should take some time to reflect on the choices you are making. I truly believe you deserve better than a man who hits you, tries to control you, and a man who is already committed to someone else. Please think about it and make better choices that will allow you to feel true happiness.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Anu, I am in relationship for 6 months and now we are in long distance relationship, I have struggled a lot in family love issues, so I always craved for love, but my boyfriend is a bit distant, although he tries his best, but I just can't get over, I feel like i deserve to be loved more and deserve good care and attention, there are always the things which he hurts me almost everyday now, I feel like shutting down my emotions again, I feel very low after his actions, although he has his reasons which are correct too, but little bit wrong too, he does not think deeply about me, because he is immature himself, we are just 19, I don't know and unable to understand what should I do, should I shut myself down and try to study and not talk to him by giving him excuses that I am busy, I really am losing more and more trust from him, and slowly my will to share things is getting lost, although I scream from inside that I want to share but after his actions hurt me, I feel puzzled from inside, he is good, but I don't think he is much into these love and stuffs, he is just chill with his life, as he shows off, so much that I misunderstand him a lot, how can we understand each other better, we just keep hurting each other, because of our different thoughts and perspective, I love him so much, I want to be with him, but his actions make me further distant from him, and he also says he has his own privacy, I don't understand, if relationship is built on trust then what kind of privacy, I don't mean , I don't understand him, i respect his opinion, but because of his perspective, he hurts me too, and doesn't respect my perspective, I feel like relying on him emotionally and always have been, but he thinks I speak too much and he doesn't value it much, and doesn't understand how much hard it is for me to share....I really feel very much overwhelmed and it's not getting any better, every night I feel pain and keeps on crying, it's not stoping, it's becoming a loop, please guide me, what should I do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I can see and hear from you is: that you are dependent on him for you happiness!
Okay, 'I have struggled a lot in family love issues' (as you mentioned) BUT looking for that to be filled from someone externally is only going to disappoint you.
How can you replace family and sibling love and attention from outside?
Also, being 19, both of you are still not mature to put things in perspective. Do understand that every time you complain to your boyfriend and call that a 'perspective', you are just pushing him away...he's just being a boy of 19 trying to have a carefree life and a girlfriend with who he can share and of course, feel 'cool' in his guy gang.
Why are you expecting him to fill in for the missing love? He cannot as whatever he does, he will always fall short as in your mind you will compare with what you ideally would want and he will fall short. Then, the drama will begin where you will complain, he will defend and he will slowly call that his carefree ways and he will say: I am like this only!
And then you will feel hurt and the drama will continue.

First things first; you cannot fulfill what love you lack from outside. Learn to love yourself first. the concept of self-love is rage these days BUT it has always been around in simpler ways from the very beginning. Love what you do everyday, surround yourself with friends that you feel good with, focus on your academic goals...
Loving oneself is the way to go; it might seem a bit difficult at you age to fathom as everything external excites you...So, focus on your self and put less attention in what your boyfriend does or doesn't. Slowly, you will appreciate the things that he does for you...And you will start to feel better from within!
Your self-worth is something only you can grow from within and this cannot be dependent on anything or anyone external. Grow your strength from within!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 10, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello sir, what are the prospects of digital marketing. Is freelance work available in digital marketing. Who can be its buyers.
Ans: Hello,
Digital marketing has a promising future as businesses increasingly rely on online platforms to promote their products and services. With the rise of social media, e-commerce, and artificial intelligence, companies are shifting towards digital strategies to engage customers and drive sales. The industry is constantly evolving, creating a strong demand for skilled digital marketers in areas such as SEO, social media marketing, content creation, paid advertising, and email marketing.

Freelancing Opportunities in Digital Marketing:-

Freelancing in digital marketing is a highly viable career option. Many businesses, especially startups and small companies, prefer hiring freelancers to manage their online presence rather than investing in full-time employees. As a freelancer, you can offer specialized services like:
1. Social media management
2. Search engine optimization (SEO)
3. Pay-per-click (PPC) advertising
4. Content writing and copywriting
5. Email marketing and automation
6. Website development and optimization

Freelancers can find work through platforms like Upwork, Fiverr, Freelancer, and LinkedIn or by directly reaching out to businesses.

Potential Buyers of Digital Marketing Services

The demand for digital marketing services comes from various sectors, including:
1. Small and Medium Enterprises (SMEs): Local businesses aiming for a broader customer base.
2. E-commerce Brands: Online stores looking to enhance visibility and conversions.
3. Startups & Entrepreneurs: New businesses seeking cost-effective digital strategies.
4. Large Corporations: Companies investing in long-term digital branding.
5. Coaches & Influencers: Personal brands needing social media growth.
6. Marketing Agencies: Agencies that outsource specialized tasks to freelancers.

With digital marketing becoming a necessity in today’s business landscape, professionals in this field - whether working as employees or freelancers - can expect steady growth and lucrative opportunities. I hope this will help you.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7952 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am ready to invest Rs 2 to 3 lakhs every year. Please suggest the right SIPs and schemes that can help me earn Rs 5 lakh additional income every year.
Ans: You want to invest Rs 2 to 3 lakh every year and generate an additional Rs 5 lakh yearly income.

This requires a strong investment strategy. The right SIP plan will help you build a sustainable income.

Investment Approach for High Returns
Equity mutual funds are the best option for long-term wealth creation.

Actively managed funds can outperform index funds in the long run.

Diversified investment across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds is essential.

Avoid direct funds and choose regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials.

Understanding Return Expectations
The expected long-term return from equity mutual funds is 12% to 15% annually.

To earn Rs 5 lakh yearly, your corpus must be large enough.

You need a disciplined SIP strategy for 10+ years to achieve this.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Equity Exposure: Allocate 80% to 90% in equity funds for high growth.

Debt Exposure: Keep 10% to 20% in debt funds for stability.

Rebalance investments based on market conditions.

Selecting the Right SIPs
Invest in a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Large-cap funds provide stability during market fluctuations.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds offer high growth potential.

A small portion in balanced advantage funds adds stability.

Tax Considerations
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Equity investments should be held for more than a year to reduce tax burden.

How to Withdraw Rs 5 Lakh Per Year
Once you build a sufficient corpus, use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP).

SWP ensures steady cash flow while keeping investments intact.

Proper fund selection reduces tax liability on withdrawals.

Finally
Start SIPs in actively managed equity funds for the best returns.

Choose regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials for guidance.

Stick to a long-term investment strategy for sustainable wealth.

A Certified Financial Planner can help optimize your portfolio for income generation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7952 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

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Money
Hi When the capital gains is rs85 lakhs, can I invest 50 lakhs in bonds and remaining 35 lalks in residential property? Regards
Ans: You have capital gains of Rs 85 lakh. You want to invest Rs 50 lakh in bonds and Rs 35 lakh in a residential property. Your approach is partially correct, but let’s analyse it in detail.

Exemption on Capital Gains Bonds (Section 54EC)
You can invest up to Rs 50 lakh in specified capital gains bonds.

These bonds have a lock-in period of 5 years.

Interest earned from these bonds is taxable.

You must invest in these bonds within 6 months of sale to claim exemption.

Exemption on Residential Property Purchase (Section 54F)
You can reinvest capital gains in a new residential property.

The property must be purchased within 2 years or constructed within 3 years.

If you buy a new property, you must not own more than one house before this purchase.

Can You Use Both Options Together?
Yes, you can combine both options to save tax.

Investing Rs 50 lakh in bonds will give partial exemption.

Investing Rs 35 lakh in property will also give partial exemption.

Any amount not reinvested will be taxed as per capital gains rules.

Alternative Tax-Efficient Options
If saving tax is your main goal, you can invest fully in bonds.

If wealth creation is the goal, consider investing in mutual funds after tax payment.

Actively managed mutual funds can give better long-term returns.

Important Considerations
Liquidity: Capital gains bonds have a 5-year lock-in.

Returns: These bonds offer lower returns than equity mutual funds.

Long-Term Strategy: Investing in mutual funds can help you grow wealth over time.

Finally
Your plan is correct, but you must consider tax rules carefully.

If you need liquidity, avoid investing too much in bonds.

A Certified Financial Planner can help you optimise your investment plan.

Always align investments with your long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7952 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am a college student. I get pocket money of Rs 5,000 and Rs 2,000 additional from my grandparents every month . I have saved Rs 7,200 in my piggy bank. I want to invest this money and become rich. Can you tell me how I can invest and where to invest?
Ans: You have taken an excellent step by thinking about investing early. Starting young gives you a huge advantage in wealth building. Your current savings and monthly income can be used wisely to grow your money.

Understanding Your Financial Position
Savings: You have Rs 7,200 in hand.

Monthly Income: You receive Rs 7,000 every month (Rs 5,000 + Rs 2,000).

Expenses: If you track and limit your expenses, you can save more.

Goal: You want to invest and become rich over time.

Creating a Strong Investment Plan
Build an Emergency Fund

Keep at least Rs 3,000 in a savings account for emergencies.

This helps you avoid withdrawing from investments in urgent situations.

Invest Your Rs 7,200 Wisely

You can start a mutual fund SIP with a small amount.

Avoid index funds as they only match market returns.

Actively managed mutual funds can give better long-term growth.

Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner help in tracking performance.

Save and Invest from Your Monthly Income

Try to invest at least Rs 2,000 per month from your pocket money.

Increase it when you have extra cash.

The longer you invest, the more wealth you can create.

Where to Invest?
Actively Managed Mutual Funds

These funds are managed by experts to get the best returns.

They perform better than index funds in most market conditions.

Avoid direct funds as they do not provide professional advice.

Recurring Deposits for Short-Term Goals

If you need money in 1-2 years, invest in a recurring deposit.

It is safe and gives better returns than a savings account.

Avoid Stocks for Now

Direct stock investing requires time and knowledge.

Mutual funds are a better option to begin with.

Habits to Build Wealth Faster
Increase Your Investment Every Year

Even adding Rs 500 more each year makes a big difference.

The power of compounding will multiply your wealth over time.

Track Your Expenses

Reduce spending on unnecessary items.

More savings mean more money for investment.

Continue Investing for 10+ Years

Wealth grows best when you invest for the long term.

Do not withdraw money for short-term needs.

Final Insights
You have made a great decision to start investing early.

Begin with mutual fund SIPs for long-term growth.

Save a fixed amount from your pocket money every month.

Increase investments every year for better returns.

Stay patient and let your wealth grow over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7952 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Money
Dear Guru, I am 32 year old IT professional, earning monthly 1,30,000-/. I have started doing SIP from April 2024 in Navi nifty 50 index fund Direct - Rs 3000, Motilal Oswal nifty next 50 index fund - Direct Rs 3000, Mahindra Manulife Mid cap 150 Direct - Rs 4000, Quant Small Cap 250 Direct - Rs 3000. Do I need to diversify my portfolio or all Selected MF are fine? I will do 10% setup every year and want to achieve 1 cr in next 10 year.
Ans: Your investment journey is on the right track. You have started early, and that's a big advantage. You are also increasing SIPs every year, which will help reach your target. But, your fund selection needs some improvements.

Issues with Your Current Portfolio
Too Much in Index Funds

You have two index funds, both in direct plans. These funds will only match the market returns.

Index funds do not outperform in volatile or falling markets.

Actively managed funds can generate better returns with expert fund management.

Direct Plans May Not Be the Best Choice

Direct funds may seem to save costs, but they lack professional guidance.

Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner provide expert fund selection.

A good financial expert helps in tracking and rebalancing investments.

Small-Cap Fund Has High Risk

Your small-cap fund can give high returns but also faces deep corrections.

Small caps can take years to recover from market crashes.

It is better to keep them at a lower allocation.

Mid-Cap Allocation Needs Review

Mid-cap funds perform well in growing markets but fall more during market crashes.

A balanced mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds works better.

Suggested Portfolio Adjustments
Shift from Index Funds to Actively Managed Funds

Replace both index funds with a flexi-cap or large-cap active fund.

Active funds can generate better risk-adjusted returns than passive funds.

Increase Large-Cap Exposure

Your portfolio lacks a strong large-cap presence.

Large-cap funds provide stability in tough market conditions.

Reduce Small-Cap Exposure

Keep your small-cap allocation to 10-15% of your total investments.

Shift some amount to a multi-cap or flexi-cap fund for better balance.

Will You Achieve Rs. 1 Crore in 10 Years?
A 10% annual increase in SIP is a smart approach.

With improved fund selection, your goal is achievable.

Market fluctuations will impact growth, but disciplined investing helps.

Other Important Steps for Wealth Growth
Emergency Fund: Keep at least 6 months' expenses in a liquid fund or FD.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have a good medical policy for financial security.

Term Insurance: If you have dependents, get a pure term life cover.

Tax Planning: Invest in ELSS funds if you want to save tax under Section 80C.

Final Insights
Your SIP habit is excellent, but fund selection needs improvement.

Avoid direct and index funds; choose actively managed regular plans.

Diversify with large, mid, and small-cap funds for stability and growth.

Stay invested for the long term and rebalance when needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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