Hi, I am a 48 year old unmarried woman. I stay with my parents and we 3 enjoy our life in our own way. I have 2 married elder sisters and share a loving relation with them. In short I am blessed with a loving and supportive family. But at times I miss having a man in my life. We have tried so hard but nothing materialised on the marriage front.All men in my age group either married or divorced with kids. Do u think its ok to get married if I find someone whom I like. Sometimes I feel i should atleast date someone and if marriage is to happen it will. I am single for a very long time. I am grateful to God for all the good things I have in my life. How to find someone no clue. Have tried thru matrimony no success. Not interested in any dating app. Nor interested in casual dating with a younger guy. I need someone of my age or elder. Pls advise. Thanks..

Ans:

I have a friend who's sailing in the same boat as you.

She's a newly single mom and was very worried during her divorce that she would never find love again. Her husband had already taken up with another woman before their paperwork was finalised.

So I'm going to give you the same advice I gave her -- stop looking.

She did and, a year later, she's in a new but happy relationship.

The guy she's with is someone she always knew as an acquaintance. Post her divorce, they became close and he is fond of the child as well.

There may be challenges ahead but the point is, as soon as she let life take over instead of this obsession to find someone else, a relationship came up unexpectedly and out of nowhere.

So breathe, recover from old wounds and let things happen as they must. Stop planning a second marriage right away. 

 

Ans: It's perfectly okay to have different desires and preferences when it comes to relationships and marriage. People have diverse perspectives on these matters, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to life. What matters most is that you understand and accept your feelings and choices.

If you feel content and happy with your non-married life and prefer to live independently without making adjustments for a partner, that is entirely valid. Some individuals find fulfillment and satisfaction in singlehood, and that is absolutely fine. Not everyone feels the need to pursue romantic relationships or marriage, and that doesn't make you any less of a person.

However, if you occasionally feel lonely and desire love and companionship, that is also natural. It's okay to have moments of vulnerability and longing for emotional connection. You can explore ways to address these feelings without necessarily committing to a traditional romantic relationship or marriage. For example, you might consider building strong friendships or participating in social activities that allow you to connect with others on a meaningful level.

Ultimately, what matters most is that you embrace and understand yourself and your feelings. If you find contentment and fulfillment in your current lifestyle, there is no need to feel pressured to conform to societal expectations. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, regardless of external opinions or suggestions.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or conflicted about your feelings, talking to a counselor or therapist can be beneficial. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and emotions and help you gain clarity about what you truly want in life.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to approach relationships or marriage. Each person's journey is unique, and the key is to be true to yourself and make choices that align with your values and bring you happiness.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is not too old to get married, especially if you find someone compatible. I understand that finding that perfect match is a bit difficult, but it should not stop you from trying. Put yourself out there; I suggest using dating apps. It is the easiest way to find someone compatible. Make sure to mention 'what you want and what you can offer' to attract the right crowd. If you are not too keen on dating someone who was previously married or with kids, mention that in your BIO to avoid matching with such people.

Again, you are never too old to find love. Don't shy away from having an amazing experience, thinking you are too late to the game.

Best Wishes!