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Dating Anxiety: 34-Year-Old Woman Panics at the Thought of Marriage

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |499 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am 34 F , whenever topic of marriage comes, I get panic irrespective of the thing what situation I am in, good bad favourable or unfavorable What is better to take charge of finding husband for you or just let parents find one In any case the one who has to deal will be me. Just in first I will be fully responsible.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marriage is indeed a significant decision and it can be scary to many people. First of all, I want you to understand that you are not alone. Coming to your next question, see there are advantages to both methods- on the one hand, if you find your own partner, you can pick a more compatible person. Whereas, parents have better judgment, most of the time. So, why don't you try a mix of both? For instance, you can create a profile on a dating app and find yourself someone compatible from there. It doesn't immediately have to be for marriage. You can simply get to know each other first and then move things forward. The way to make sure that you find someone who would be interested in marriage is to mention that in your bio- "seeking a connection that can lead to marriage." Once you think you both are ready to talk marriage, you take it to your parents and let them use their years of experience to double-check if the connection is worth pursuing.
Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Mam, Kindly note that i am a 39 yrs old guy who is not married yet. The reason behind me not getting married are basically coz i m unable to get a match at my age and none of proposals that i have seen so far, none of dem have turn positive. Now i feel like even though i want to get married, i ll end up alone in life coz at 39 i feel i will not get any match. I am very scared to living the rest of life alone.So mam i want you to help me out ways to live life alone. How to cope up with peers, relatives and colleagues pressure to get married?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hai. Anu ji. I am at 30 and my parents want arranged marrg for me. I am ok with that. But how do I take my own decisions regarding boys whom I talk. I am intrested in a match where boy is 6 months younger to me and my parents don't want to marry me for a younger guy . They r stuck with old traditions. And how can we convince parents... Also while having discussion with boys how to belive what they say is true. How to decide which guy suits me .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Compatibility in terms of values and mind is something that you must look for.
Looks are a part of liking or not liking someone, I agree BUT do draw focus to whether your value systems on family, money, career, children, food etc match...
This is not about being choosy BUT about gathering necessary information before making a decision. These values are the ones that later go on either to cement the bond or create issues within the marriage. This is a way that you can decide whether a particular boy can be a life partner for you.
As far as convincing parents, in many of my responses I have mentioned: convincing someone against their wishes is a short-live phenomenon. Sooner than later, your parents will end up finding faults and making it harder for you and the boy.
Instead you and your partner attempt to gain your parents' favor by actually showing them why he is the right match for you.
It's easy to talk and convince, but when you actually need to demonstrate it, there's a chance of a WIN.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1431 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Why do hotels in India disallow unmarried couples? A few months ago, I was travelling with my girlfriend (who was my colleague then, we weren't dating then) on a work trip and suddenly, we received a knock on the door at night asking us to vacate the room in Delhi. It was 2 am and we were sleeping on different beds. There was a partition in the room, yet we were asked to pack and leave because some guest had complained. In the middle of the night no one was willing to offer us a room. It was an odd hour so at 4.30 am, I finally told the manager to let my GF hire a room as we had nowhere to go. I waited in the reception area. Isn't it unsafe to take the booking and then ask us to vacate later? Why is India so rude to unmarried couples? A boy and a girl could also be friends sharing a room to save money!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Each hotel use discretion to allow or disallow an unmarried couple from staying in their premises. There could be various reasons which may include activities which are outside of the law. Now, to what has happened to you is very inconsiderate. My question to you is: while booking, did you look at the hotel policies? If it says: unmarried couples allowed, then whatever has happened can be challenged and you can possibly demand a refund for unfair treatment. If it disallows unmarried couples and they have accommodated you, even then they are in the wrong for going against their own policies and then inconveniencing you.
So, clarity on this will give you an idea as to what exactly happened.
I don't know if India is being rude to unmarried couples as each person will view it through their lens and come to a conclusion as to whether it's right or wrong. Always check the hotel policies before booking.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1133 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my first time appearing for GATE, and I’m already feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the preparation. Now that the admit card release is approaching, I’m worried about missing any important details. Could you please explain the step-by-step process to download the admit card and what documents I should carry on the exam day?
Ans: Hello dear.
What is a surprise that you are appearing in the GATE examination 1st time? Everybody goes through this situation. You are on the turn of completing your B.E./B.Tech. and at this point, the anxiety developed not showing good symptoms. Be cool and relax. Since 3-4 years you are well acquainted with the engineering examination pattern. The difference between regular and GATE is that, for GATE, you have to prepare F.E. to B.E. syllabus and that is the only issue. A candidate who remained sincere from 1st year will not have any type of anxiety with GATE. Try to cover the syllabus in depth as early as possible. Now, related to your admit card, visit the GATE website where you will receive an announcement via SMS/email to download the admit card. Follow the steps mentioned in the email and download it. On the respective website, everything is mentioned clearly about the documents to be carried on the examination day. Keep a close eye on the GATE examination. Best of luck for your upcoming examinations in the future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Mr Ramalingam, Good Afternoon. I am 55years old. I had purchased two SBI life policies(Plan Name: SBIL- Smart Privilege Series III- RP and LP) one for self and one for my wife with annually paid premiums of ?1200000/- and ?600000/- respectively in Feb 2023 for Policy Term of 10 years. I have two questions: 1. Is paying annual premium financially beneficial as compared to paying half yearly or quarterly? 2. Should I continue paying the premium after the first compulsory premiums of 5 years or invest the amount in Equity Mutual funds for better appreciation of money? Thank you, Warm Regards.
Ans: Investing Rs. 12,00,000 annually for yourself and Rs. 6,00,000 for your wife in SBI Life Smart Privilege plans requires a thorough evaluation. Your queries about premium payment frequency and policy continuation beyond five years are critical for maximising returns and aligning with your financial goals.

Let’s analyse these aspects comprehensively.

1. Premium Payment Frequency: Annual vs Half-Yearly or Quarterly
Cost Efficiency of Annual Premiums

Annual premiums often cost less than half-yearly or quarterly options. Insurers offer discounts for lump-sum annual payments.

Paying in smaller instalments results in additional administrative charges. This increases the total cost of the policy.

Annual payments ensure immediate allocation of your funds. Half-yearly or quarterly payments delay this allocation, reducing the compounding benefit.

Opting for annual payments is financially efficient, provided cash flow permits it.

Impact on Cash Flow

Annual payments require larger cash reserves. Evaluate whether this impacts your liquidity needs.

If cash flow is constrained, half-yearly or quarterly options provide flexibility. However, they incur higher costs.

2. Continuation After 5 Years vs Investing in Equity Mutual Funds
Performance of ULIPs vs Equity Mutual Funds

SBI Life Smart Privilege is a ULIP (Unit-Linked Insurance Plan). ULIPs combine insurance with investments.

ULIPs have higher charges such as policy administration, premium allocation, and fund management fees. These charges reduce net returns.

Equity Mutual Funds often outperform ULIPs due to lower expense ratios. They focus solely on wealth creation, unlike ULIPs.

Lock-In Period Considerations

ULIPs have a mandatory 5-year lock-in. Beyond this period, the decision to continue depends on fund performance and your financial goals.

Evaluate your ULIP’s fund performance against comparable equity mutual funds. If it underperforms, consider discontinuing premium payments.

Flexibility and Liquidity

Mutual funds offer better liquidity and flexibility. You can withdraw or switch funds based on market conditions.

ULIPs restrict fund switches to options within the policy. Mutual funds provide a wider range of choices.

Advantages of Shifting to Equity Mutual Funds
Higher Returns: Actively managed equity funds generally deliver higher long-term returns than ULIPs.

Lower Charges: Mutual funds have lower expense ratios, maximising your investment growth.

Tax Efficiency: Equity mutual funds have tax benefits, but gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. ULIPs have tax-free withdrawals under certain conditions, but the overall returns may still lag.

Goal Alignment: Mutual funds are better suited for long-term wealth creation and goal-specific planning.

Why Not Index Funds?

Index funds lack active management. They simply replicate market indices without adapting to market conditions.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, strive to outperform the market. They offer better returns when managed by experienced professionals.

Index funds cannot shield against downside risks during market corrections. Actively managed funds provide better resilience in volatile markets.

Evaluating Policy Continuation After 5 Years
Key Questions to Assess

Is the ULIP’s fund performance aligned with your expectations?

Are the charges within the ULIP justified by the returns it offers?

Would reallocating the premium to mutual funds provide better results for your goals?

Strategic Approach

If ULIP performance is consistently below par, you can stop further premiums after five years.

Shift future premiums to mutual funds. Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Retain the accumulated corpus in the ULIP until maturity to avoid surrender penalties.

Steps to Optimise Your Investments
Review Fund Performance: Regularly assess the returns generated by your ULIP. Compare them with benchmark indices and mutual funds.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A CFP can guide you in selecting suitable mutual funds for reallocation.

Diversify Investments: Spread your investments across equity, balanced, and debt funds for optimal risk management.

Leverage Tax Benefits: Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise tax liabilities under the new mutual fund taxation rules.

Taxation Insights
ULIPs offer tax-free maturity proceeds under Section 10(10D) if annual premiums do not exceed Rs. 2,50,000.

Mutual funds are subject to the following tax rules:

Equity mutual funds: Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains on equity funds are taxed at 20%.
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Consider these rules when deciding between ULIPs and mutual funds.

Key Takeaways
Annual premium payments are cost-effective if cash flow permits.

Continuing ULIPs beyond five years depends on their performance and alignment with your goals.

Equity mutual funds are a better option for wealth creation due to higher returns and lower charges.

Diversify investments and consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised advice.

Final Insights
Your decision to invest in ULIPs was a thoughtful one, considering their insurance benefits. However, for long-term wealth creation, mutual funds could offer better appreciation. Evaluating the performance of your ULIPs after five years is crucial. If they underperform, consider reallocating your premiums to equity mutual funds for enhanced returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir I am planning to invest Rs.2000/= per month in SIP and the duration will be 10 years. What will be the return on the due date
Ans: Investing Rs. 2000 per month in a SIP for 10 years is a wise decision. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) provide disciplined and goal-oriented investing. Let’s assess your plan, its potential returns, and the key aspects of such investments.

Benefits of a 10-Year SIP
Power of Compounding
SIPs leverage compounding, helping your money grow faster over time. Starting early allows compounding to work better for you.

Market Volatility Management
SIPs mitigate risks of market volatility. They encourage purchasing more units when prices are low.

Affordable and Flexible
Starting with Rs. 2000 ensures affordability and consistency. Flexibility to increase contributions is an added benefit.

Wealth Accumulation Potential
A 10-year SIP can generate substantial wealth. Equity-based funds generally outperform other investments over the long term.

Expected Returns from Your SIP
Equity mutual funds typically yield 10-12% annual returns over the long term. With Rs. 2000 monthly, you could accumulate Rs. 4-5 lakh in 10 years.

Debt funds yield lower returns, around 6-8%. These funds are safer but less suitable for long-term goals.

Balanced funds blend equity and debt. They balance risk and return, yielding 8-10% annually.

Your choice of fund type affects your returns. Selecting the right fund category is crucial.

Factors Influencing Returns
Fund Selection
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds. Professional fund managers optimise portfolios for better performance.

Market Conditions
Equity market performance directly impacts returns. Long-term investments reduce the risk of short-term volatility.

Tax Implications
Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Understanding taxation helps in planning redemptions.

Expense Ratios
Funds charge fees for managing investments. Actively managed funds have slightly higher costs than index funds. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure professional advice for these costs.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds lack flexibility. They mimic indices and cannot capitalise on market opportunities.

They do not protect against downside risk during market crashes. Actively managed funds can adjust to such scenarios.

Active funds offer higher returns when managed well. Professional management adds value to your investment.

Why Regular Funds with CFP Guidance?
Direct funds save costs but lack personalised advice. A Certified Financial Planner offers tailored strategies for your goals.

Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials ensure professional monitoring. They also simplify documentation and compliance.

How to Proceed
Set Clear Goals
Define your financial goal for this SIP. Is it for wealth creation, education, or retirement?

Assess Risk Appetite
Choose funds aligning with your comfort level. Equity funds are ideal for higher returns but come with risks.

Review Performance
Select funds with consistent track records over five to ten years.

Diversify Investments
Consider investing in different categories for balanced risk and returns.

Review Periodically
Assess performance annually. Switch funds if they consistently underperform.

Insights on SIP Taxation
Gains on equity mutual funds held for over a year qualify as LTCG. Only gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab rate.

Consider these rules while planning withdrawals. Tax-efficient withdrawals maximise returns.

SIP Advantages Over Other Investments
SIPs outperform fixed deposits and traditional insurance plans. They offer better liquidity and inflation-beating returns.

Real estate requires significant upfront capital and involves illiquidity. SIPs are more flexible and accessible.

Gold investments lack the potential for high returns compared to equity funds.

Common Mistakes to Avoid
Delaying Investments
Starting early maximises compounding benefits.

Stopping SIPs During Market Lows
Continue investments even during market downturns. They offer opportunities to buy units at lower prices.

Ignoring Goal Alignment
Match your SIPs with specific financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 2000 per month for 10 years through SIPs is a smart choice. It can help you achieve long-term goals and build wealth steadily.

Focus on selecting funds aligned with your objectives. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio for optimal performance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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