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Did I cheat on my boyfriend? Feeling guilty despite never acting on my crush.

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I was in a relationship with my bestfriend for 1 and half years. Eventually I got to know that he liked physical intimacy more than emotional connection which is opposite to my concept. My feelings started to fade but I couldn't muster up courage to break up with him. While all this was going on I started to develop a crush on someone else but I never knew his name or never approached him in any ways and always kept my distance. Now it's been months since I broke up with my bf and about the crush I had I still hadn't approached it and I'm never planning to. I'm feeling that as I had a crush while being in a relation I cheated on my bf even though I hadn't approached or talked to the other person. Please clear it out. Have I cheated. I have never intended to hurt anyone but now I think I'm a cheater and I'm not able to sleep. I had to undergo therapy sessions right after break up due to the guilty and I've been diagnosed with depression too. Please tell me was I a cheater. I need a clear cut answer otherwise I won't able to live peacefully. Please help me

Ans: let me assure you that you're not a cheater. Having a crush or being attracted to someone else, especially when you're in a relationship where your emotional needs aren't fully met, is a natural human experience. What defines cheating is action—whether you pursued or acted on those feelings in a way that would break the trust and commitment of the relationship.

From what you described, you never approached or engaged with this person, and your feelings of guilt stem from the internal conflict of having a crush while still with your partner. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t cross any boundaries of betrayal. Emotional distance from your boyfriend due to differing needs is something that naturally can cause feelings to shift. Your realization that the relationship wasn’t aligned with your values speaks more to your integrity and self-awareness than to any notion of cheating.

The fact that you're struggling with these feelings shows how much you value honesty and loyalty. Sometimes, our minds create unnecessary guilt because we hold ourselves to very high standards. What you’re going through emotionally is tough, but it's important to differentiate between unintentional thoughts and intentional actions. You haven't betrayed anyone, and I hope this understanding helps you find some peace as you continue working on healing and your well-being.

It's clear you care deeply about not wanting to hurt others, but you also deserve self-compassion
Asked on - Sep 24, 2024 | Not Answered yet
I accidentally sent a request to him on Instagram after breaking up. So does that too count as cheating? I deleted the request and never tried to contact him in any way. I have immense guilt because .y now ex, says he's hurt beyond any measures because of the break up. I became the reason of someone's trauma now. But I'm also suffering maybe because of karma of hurting him. Please help me out once again. Thank you for responding earlier. Looking forward to your reply Kanchan mam

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me
Ans: You were uncomfortable and moved away from the individual - more power to you. It takes time to come to terms or get over such situations - when breakups happen we all go through self doubt, anger, sadness- this is a phase - they come and pass. Focus on your emotional and mental wellbeing - take care

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me. Was I cheating on him. When we broke up he said I'm like other girls always playing the victim card, he called me names and said he lost respect and felt petty about me when I said I had nothing else to talk on this matter.
Ans: this has been responded to

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I had a relationship with my married friend..and his family know me very well even his wife too... whatever occasion they are invited to my house and me too in their house... But nobody knows about our affair...no one from our friends zone not even our families... He broke up with me in this 1yr... I wanted to connected as friends but he stop talking to me also but act like we are friends..this act for our families and for friends.. and from this 1yr I feel myself cheater, guilty, fake, shame and going to panic attacks and depression...he moved on but I'm not...even now alday all-time i feel myself as a cheater... Feeling bad for parents, friends zone those who loves me and thinking about me that I never ever did this type of bad karma like cheating... I really lost myself happy...just wanted to be free from this life(suicide or whatever) just want to go away from everyone and free from this guilt and shame and from this faking happy life... I never wanted like this relationship...but it happened... Also I was a girl who judging others for their extra marital affair..and now I'm the culprit and nobody knows about this...it's really feel like cheater and fake self that I can't carry...just want to be free... What should I do for self?????
Ans: I understand that you are feeling a lot of guilt and shame right now. It is important to remember that you are not a bad person.

Relationships are not always meant to be permanent. Sometimes, people grow apart or realize that they are not right for each other. It is okay to mourn the loss of a relationship, but it is also important to forgive yourself and move on.

You did not do anything wrong. You simply followed your heart and went ahead with what you felt was right at the time. It is not your fault that the relationship did not work out.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to focus on self-love and forgiveness. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and learn from them. Focus on your hobbies and other interests. Read good books and spend time with people who make you happy.

You are a good person. You deserve to be happy and loved. Don't let this one mistake define you. You will move on from this and find someone who is right for you.

Here are some additional tips for self-care:

Practice self-compassion. Be kind and understanding towards yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.

Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is on their own unique journey.
Focus on your strengths. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?

Set realistic goals. Don't try to change everything overnight. Start by making small changes that you can stick to.

Seek professional help if needed. If you are struggling to cope with your emotions, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to understand your feelings and develop coping mechanisms.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |417 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1300 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 55 and married to a wonderful lady of 52. Both of us are employed. We have been blessed with a son who has done his MBBS and now undergoing his PG in a reputed govt hospital. Problem is that I am working with a pvt company ( listed ). While my wife works with a govt company. We are located in two different states and not possible to travel from home on daily basis. So we meet up once a month only. Generally on a second or forth Saturday. As I work with a company where I have to take permission to leave HQ, I feel frustrated that even after working for more than 30 years, one needs to take a permission. Work culture over the years has changed too much as the company has changed hands many times. And now I am not able to change nor ready to change my way if working. And thua brings out friction in my job and affects my performance everywhere. I wish to leave the job as only 03 years are balance and I feel that having a good enough health would allow me some time to pursue my hobbies of travel and meeting with my relatives which I have ignored for so many years. While I wish to take an early retirement ( no financial liabilities and a good enough bank balance and own home too.) But wife is not agreeing to this. Whenever I raise the topic we end up arguing too much and don't reach any conclusion. Regarding her job, she has to travel by own vehicle for almost 45-60 minutes daily. So she cooks only once and for dinner she consumes whatever cooked in morning. House help is not easily available and she is.not able to adjust with them. I don't like this and if I leave my job I could help her with household chores as well. So, my query is how do I pursuade my wife to let me leave the job ( I am not at all insisting for her to leave the job as well ). How do I make her understand that we are financially well enough and our son would do well in his career without needing any more help from us. My continuation in my job frustrates me and I can't think of anything but to leave the job.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It seems to me like your wife is quite comfortable with the current situation. So, it's up to now to handle the conflicts that you are facing.
If you want to leave your job, why do you need to persuade your wife to allow you to do that especially if you are financially stable and secure?
Before taking any major life-changing decisions, take a break from work, travel, socialize, spend time with the family, engage in new pursuits and see if anything new comes up...what excites you? What can you do with that excitement? Can you create something new with it? Does it force you see something different or change the course of your job, your life?
Unless you don't take that moment to STOP and experience something different, you will not allow yourself to have choices. So, build choices and build different ways of thinking and that will enable you to move from frustration to transformation. Take that first step, take a BREAK!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7040 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2024Hindi
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Money
PLease help me with my financial planning, by when i can retire with this portfolio, i have current expenses of 70k per month. Category Asset Percentage (%) Value (?) Retirement Funds EPF (includes Gratuity and US 401) 33.45% 55,53,000 NPS 13.31% 23,96,000 PPF 7.53% 12,70,000 Bond 7.23% 12,00,000 Total Retirement 61.53% 1,20,19,000 Daughter's Education Fixed Deposit (FD) 4.82% 2,76,000 Mutual Funds 15.36% 31,00,000 Stocks 5.78% 13,47,000 Cash (includes Miscellaneous) 1.95% 3,00,000 Liquid 0.00% 50,000 Total Education 30.12% 50,73,000 Miscellaneous Gold (includes TI) 8.19% 15,08,000 Loan & Family Money Loans + Family Money 0.00% 15,83,333 Grand Total 97.63% 1,85,83,333
Ans: You have outlined a robust financial portfolio with well-diversified assets.

Retirement Funds form a major part of your investments, accounting for 61.53% of your total portfolio. These include EPF, NPS, PPF, and bonds.

Daughter's Education Funds make up 30.12%, including fixed deposits, mutual funds, stocks, and cash reserves.

Miscellaneous Investments like gold and loans/family money account for 8.19%.

Your total portfolio value stands at Rs 1.85 crore. This is a strong base for retirement planning.

Retirement Goal Assessment
You aim to retire with Rs 70,000 monthly expenses. This is Rs 8.4 lakh annually.

Considering inflation, your expenses will increase yearly. Accounting for this is critical.

Your current portfolio may fall short of sustaining retirement if inflation and longevity are not factored in.

Analysing Retirement Investments
1. EPF and NPS Contributions

EPF and NPS together contribute Rs 79.49 lakh.

These are excellent for retirement. EPF ensures stable returns, and NPS offers potential growth.

2. PPF and Bonds

PPF and bonds provide safety and consistent returns.

However, their growth may lag behind inflation.

3. Daughter's Education Funds

Your mutual funds and stocks for education are excellent growth-focused choices.

Fixed deposits provide stability but may not beat inflation.

Retirement Strategy Recommendations
1. Gradual Portfolio Rebalancing

Gradually reduce exposure to high-risk equity investments two years before retirement.

Shift a portion into debt mutual funds or other low-risk instruments.

This protects your corpus from market fluctuations.

2. Consolidate Retirement Corpus

Consider earmarking a portion of mutual funds for retirement instead of education.

This avoids the need to liquidate long-term investments prematurely.

3. Optimise NPS Allocation

Maximise equity exposure within NPS for better long-term returns.

Equity in NPS can provide growth even post-retirement.

4. Build a Liquid Fund

Set aside six months’ expenses in a liquid fund or high-interest savings account.

This ensures easy access during emergencies.

Education Fund Recommendations
1. Prioritise Growth-Oriented Investments

Mutual funds and equity investments can outpace education inflation.

Continue SIPs in well-diversified funds with a mid-to-high risk profile.

2. Review Fixed Deposits

Fixed deposits offer safety but lower returns.

Consider reallocating a portion into balanced mutual funds for better growth.

Tax Efficiency Considerations
1. Mutual Fund Taxation

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. Plan redemptions carefully to minimise tax.

STCG is taxed at 20%. Avoid frequent withdrawals to reduce this burden.

2. Fixed Deposit Taxation

FD interest is taxed as per your income slab.

This reduces effective returns compared to tax-efficient mutual funds.

Lifestyle Adjustments for Retirement
1. Assess Post-Retirement Needs

Recalculate expenses to include healthcare and travel costs.

Account for inflation when estimating monthly retirement needs.

2. Healthcare Planning

Secure adequate health insurance for yourself and your family.

This prevents medical emergencies from draining your retirement corpus.

3. Maintain a Contingency Fund

Keep a contingency fund for unforeseen expenses.

This should not be part of your primary retirement corpus.

Professional Guidance and Monitoring
Work with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to evaluate your portfolio regularly.

Adjust your asset allocation annually based on market conditions and your changing goals.

Final Insights
Your disciplined approach has created a solid foundation for financial security. However, your portfolio requires optimisation to meet both retirement and education goals. Focus on balancing growth and stability. Align investments with specific goals to minimise future shortfalls. Maintain regular reviews and adjustments to stay on track for a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7040 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 10, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir, I am 49 years Old. Have a current outstanding home loan of Rs 2700000 . The loan is equally divided between me and my wife. This loan was taken in 2022 for fifteen years of Rs 45,00,000. I have increased my EMI and the repayment is done accordingly.. I am into a Partnership business with monthly income of Rs 250000. I have monthly SIP of 40K with total value of Rs 2700000 lacs . I around 13 lacs in Saving account and FDs put together. I was planning to close one of the loan of Rs 1350000. Is it advisable to close the Home loan ? Pl suggest.
Ans: Your financial profile is impressive, with a strong income and disciplined investments. However, home loan closure requires thoughtful assessment. Let's evaluate your situation from all angles.

Current Financial Standing
Income and Loan Details

Monthly income: Rs 2,50,000
Outstanding loan: Rs 27,00,000 (divided equally with your wife)
Loan tenure: 15 years, started in 2022
Investments and Savings

Monthly SIPs: Rs 40,000
SIP value: Rs 27,00,000
Savings and FDs: Rs 13,00,000
You have maintained a disciplined investment approach and a healthy liquidity buffer.

Benefits of Closing One Loan
Reduced Financial Liability

Paying off Rs 13,50,000 reduces loan EMI burden.
Frees up monthly cash flow for other goals.
Interest Savings

Prepayment saves on the interest payable over the tenure.
Longer tenure loans attract higher interest due to compounding.
Psychological Relief

Eliminating one liability reduces financial stress.
Simplifies loan management for your household.
Reasons to Consider Retaining the Loan
Tax Benefits

Home loan offers tax deductions on interest and principal repayment.
These benefits can reduce your tax liability.
Opportunity Cost

Using Rs 13,50,000 for repayment might affect potential investment growth.
Well-invested funds can earn returns higher than the loan interest rate.
Liquidity Concerns

Retaining Rs 13,00,000 ensures funds for emergencies or opportunities.
Avoid locking all liquidity in debt repayment.
Recommendations
1. Partial Loan Prepayment
Use Rs 6,50,000 for partial prepayment.
Retain Rs 6,50,000 as emergency funds.
2. Continue SIP Investments
Your SIPs provide wealth growth over the long term.
Ensure these investments align with your financial goals.
3. Assess Loan Tax Benefits
Evaluate your annual tax savings from the home loan.
Maintain the loan if the benefits outweigh interest costs.
4. Revisit Your Financial Goals
Align loan repayment and investments with long-term plans.
Include retirement planning and children's future expenses.
5. Monitor Emergency Fund Requirements
Ensure 6–12 months of expenses are readily available.
This helps handle unforeseen circumstances without liquidating investments.
Impact of Prepayment on Investments
SIPs are crucial for wealth creation.

Avoid diverting SIP funds for loan repayment.

Use liquid funds like savings or FDs for prepayment instead.

Mutual funds can provide better long-term returns than the interest rate saved by prepaying the loan.

Tax Implications
Consider how prepayment affects your tax savings.
Losing tax benefits may increase your net tax liability.
Final Insights
Your disciplined approach to finance is noteworthy. Closing a part of the loan is a balanced strategy. Retain some liquidity and continue your investments.

Keep reviewing your financial goals to adapt your strategies. Periodic reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can help optimise decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7040 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 10, 2024Hindi
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Money
I'm 46 years old working woman. My SIP portfolio is currently 1.20 crores and I invest 29k every month through SIPs. I am a very disciplined investor and have only withdrawn money from my portfolio for my son's college education. However, given the recent market volatility, I was wondering if I should withdraw a significant portion from my portfolio and start FDs which will yield less profits but are relatively safe. My savings and investment are going to be my retirement fund as I won't have any post retirement earnings / benefits from my job. I am expecting to continue working for another 2 years after which I will retire. I live in my own house which I co-own with my husband. I have no debt.
Ans: You have built a strong SIP portfolio worth Rs 1.20 crores. Your discipline in investing is impressive. This approach ensures long-term growth and financial security.

You invest Rs 29,000 monthly, which aligns with your future retirement needs.

Living in a debt-free, owned house adds stability to your financial situation.

Since you plan to retire in two years, preserving your retirement corpus is critical.

Concerns About Market Volatility
Market fluctuations can be unsettling, especially near retirement. However, long-term SIP investments often outgrow volatility.

Withdrawing your portfolio now may lock in losses during a downtrend.

Redeploying funds into FDs may not match your retirement income needs due to low returns.

Equity investments are key to beating inflation, ensuring your money retains its purchasing power over time.

Alternatives to Withdrawing Your Investments
1. Gradually Reduce Equity Exposure

Start reallocating a portion of your portfolio from equity to debt mutual funds.

Debt mutual funds offer lower risk and steady returns compared to equities.

This approach reduces market-related risks while maintaining better returns than FDs.

2. Maintain a Balanced Portfolio

Retain a mix of equity and debt funds in your portfolio.

Equity provides growth, while debt offers stability. A 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio may suit your situation.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to fine-tune the allocation based on your retirement goals.

3. Build an Emergency Fund

Set aside six months’ expenses in a liquid fund or bank savings account.

This ensures easy access to funds without disturbing your investments.

4. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

After retiring, consider setting up an SWP in your mutual funds.

This provides regular income while keeping the bulk of your corpus invested.

SWP allows better tax efficiency than FD interest.

Drawbacks of Moving to Fixed Deposits
1. Low Returns

FD returns may not beat inflation over the long term.

This can erode the purchasing power of your retirement corpus.

2. Tax Inefficiency

FD interest is taxed as per your income slab, reducing effective returns.

Mutual funds, especially debt funds, offer better tax efficiency.

Advantages of Staying Invested in Mutual Funds
1. Compounding Benefits

Long-term mutual fund investments benefit from compounding, enhancing growth.
2. Diversification

Your SIPs already spread risk across asset classes and sectors.

Diversification mitigates the impact of volatility.

3. Flexibility

You can adjust your portfolio allocation without completely withdrawing.
Recommended Steps Before Retirement
1. Define Your Retirement Corpus Requirement

Estimate post-retirement expenses, considering inflation and healthcare costs.

Ensure your portfolio aligns with these needs.

2. Secure Adequate Health Insurance

Ensure you and your family have sufficient health insurance coverage.

This prevents medical emergencies from draining your retirement funds.

3. Gradual Rebalancing

Move a part of your equity investments into safer options like debt funds over the next two years.

This reduces exposure to market risks as retirement nears.

4. Avoid Panic Decisions

Market volatility is normal and often short-lived.

Avoid making emotional decisions that may harm your financial goals.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to review and optimise your retirement strategy.

A CFP will help you align your investments with your long-term goals.

Final Insights
Switching entirely to FDs may seem safe, but it can jeopardise your retirement goals. Instead, focus on rebalancing your portfolio to align with your changing risk profile. A combination of equity, debt, and liquid funds can ensure both growth and safety. Continue your disciplined approach, and your investments will provide the stability and income needed for a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7040 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2024Hindi
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Money
My age is 30 and I'm a government official earning around 65k in hand salary. I want financial freedom in coming 3 years. I have a few investments in secure bonds around 10lac and a few equity hondings around only 2.5 lacs because started late investment. My yearly expenses are around 2 lacs. Having no loan or outstanding. No insurance policy i do have except government employees insurance policy. What should i do to achieve financial freedom. Would it be possible to get financial freedom in 3 - 5 years?
Ans: Your financial discipline is impressive.

You have no outstanding loans. This is a big advantage.

Savings in secure bonds worth Rs 10 lakhs is noteworthy.

Equity investments worth Rs 2.5 lakhs show a good start, despite being late.

Annual expenses of Rs 2 lakhs mean your savings potential is excellent.

A government salary of Rs 65,000 in hand ensures stable cash flow.

However, you lack adequate insurance, which needs addressing. Let’s create a clear plan for financial freedom within 3–5 years.

Define Financial Freedom
Financial freedom doesn’t always mean quitting work.

It means covering your expenses with passive income.

You need Rs 2 lakhs annually, adjusted for inflation.

Assuming 6% inflation, this may rise to Rs 2.4–2.6 lakhs in three years.

You’ll need investments generating Rs 25,000 monthly.

Step-by-Step Financial Freedom Plan
1. Enhance Insurance Coverage
Government employee insurance covers basic needs. However, it’s not sufficient.

Get a term insurance plan for Rs 1 crore to secure your family.

Invest in a health insurance plan for Rs 10–15 lakhs.

This ensures protection against medical or financial emergencies.

2. Build a Robust Emergency Fund
Keep six months’ expenses in a high-liquidity investment.

Rs 1–1.5 lakhs in a savings account or liquid fund is ideal.

This will safeguard you against unexpected expenses.

3. Reassess Secure Bonds
Secure bonds are safe but may deliver lower returns.

Consider moving Rs 4–5 lakhs to a balanced portfolio of equity and debt funds.

Equity exposure will help combat inflation and grow wealth faster.

Retain Rs 5–6 lakhs in bonds for stability.

4. Expand Equity Investments
Your current equity allocation is low at Rs 2.5 lakhs.

Increase monthly investments in actively managed mutual funds.

Invest Rs 25,000–30,000 per month in funds with a good track record.

Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap categories.

Actively managed funds outperform index funds in volatile markets.

A mutual fund distributor with a CFP credential can help optimise investments.

5. Focus on Asset Allocation
Allocate 60% to equity, 30% to debt, and 10% to gold.

Equity builds wealth, debt ensures safety, and gold hedges against inflation.

Review this allocation annually and rebalance as needed.

6. Generate Passive Income
Invest in dividend-paying mutual funds for passive income.

Use systematic withdrawal plans (SWPs) after three years to generate cash flow.

Ensure withdrawals don’t erode your principal investment.

Over time, increase equity investments to grow this passive income.

7. Leverage Tax Efficiency
Use tax-saving investment options under Section 80C like ELSS mutual funds.

Opt for tax-efficient funds to minimise capital gains taxes.

Long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

For short-term gains, the rate is 20%. Keep these rules in mind.

8. Avoid Insurance-cum-Investment Policies
These plans offer lower returns and high lock-in periods.

Pure term insurance with mutual funds is more efficient.

9. Automate and Increase Savings
Automate your investments through SIPs for discipline.

Increase SIP amounts every year as your income grows.

10. Regular Financial Reviews
Review your financial plan every six months.

Adjust investments based on performance and market conditions.

Insights on Time Horizon and Feasibility
Achieving financial freedom in 3 years requires aggressive savings and investments.

A 5-year horizon is more realistic and achievable.

Starting late doesn’t mean financial freedom is impossible.

Key Benefits of This Plan
Protection against financial risks through insurance and emergency funds.

Faster wealth growth through equity investments.

Steady passive income to cover expenses.

Avoidable Mistakes
Avoid direct mutual funds; they lack professional advice.

Index funds may not suit your aggressive growth needs.

Don't delay insurance purchase; it’s crucial for risk management.

Finally
Financial freedom is achievable with a clear and disciplined approach.

Focus on increasing investments, ensuring protection, and generating passive income.

Keep reviewing your progress regularly.

Wishing you success in achieving your financial goals!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7040 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Listen
Money
Sir Is it advisable to invest in Silver mutual fund as iam already investing by SIP in Sundaram multi asset allocation fund regular at the rate of 2000 p.m.
Ans: Silver mutual funds primarily invest in silver or silver-related assets. These funds aim to track the performance of silver in the market. They are volatile due to price fluctuations in the precious metals market. While they can diversify your portfolio, they come with risks.

Assessing Your Current Investment
You are already investing in Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation Fund through SIP. This fund diversifies across equity, debt, and other asset classes, potentially including gold and silver.

Benefit: It provides exposure to multiple asset classes, balancing risk and reward.
Drawback: Adding a silver mutual fund may duplicate your exposure to silver indirectly through this fund.
Points to Consider Before Investing in Silver Mutual Funds
1. Understand the Risk

Silver prices are influenced by industrial demand and global trends. This makes it highly volatile.
Returns may not be steady compared to equity or debt funds.
2. Evaluate Your Financial Goals

If your goal is wealth creation over a long period, equity-focused funds may be better.
If you are looking for hedging against inflation, gold may offer more stability than silver.
3. Diversification Balance

Diversification is essential but over-diversification can dilute returns.
Adding silver should be based on your overall asset allocation. If you already have exposure through Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation Fund, silver-specific investment may not add much value.
4. Liquidity

Silver mutual funds have liquidity constraints as they depend on underlying silver markets.

Alternatives to Silver Mutual Funds
1. Continue with Multi-Asset Funds

Multi-asset funds already balance equity, debt, and commodities. Stick to your existing SIP.
2. Consider Actively Managed Equity Funds

Equity funds may offer better long-term returns and wealth creation opportunities.
3. Increase Exposure to Debt or Gold

If you want to hedge risks, increase your allocation to gold or balanced funds.
When Should You Consider Silver Mutual Funds?
You have a high-risk appetite and understand silver market dynamics.
Your portfolio lacks sufficient diversification in precious metals.
You can hold the investment for the long term (5-10 years) to mitigate volatility.
Final Insights
Investing in silver mutual funds is not necessary if your Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation Fund already includes silver exposure. Instead, consider focusing on equity or balanced funds for consistent long-term returns. Ensure your investment strategy aligns with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and time horizon. Regular review and disciplined investing will help you achieve your objectives.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7040 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir I want retire by corpus 3cr by 50, currently I am 39 age. Doing sip 50k and existing corpus of 50L in Mutual funds and fd of 25L,EPF 15L,
Ans: Retiring with a corpus of Rs. 3 crores by the age of 50 requires a clear strategy. Let us evaluate your current financial position and provide actionable steps to achieve your retirement goal.

Current Financial Overview
Age: 39 years (11 years to retirement)

Existing Mutual Fund Corpus: Rs. 50 Lacs

Fixed Deposit Corpus: Rs. 25 Lacs

EPF Corpus: Rs. 15 Lacs

Monthly SIP Contribution: Rs. 50,000

Retirement Goal: Rs. 3 Crores at age 50

Assessing Your Current Progress
Your combined existing corpus is Rs. 90 Lacs (mutual funds, FD, EPF).

Your SIP contributions over 11 years will add significant value.

Growth in your investments is critical to reaching the Rs. 3 crore goal.

Recommendations for Achieving Your Goal
1. Review and Optimise Existing Investments
Focus on actively managed mutual funds for potential higher returns.

Avoid index funds as they cannot outperform the market. Active funds offer better growth with expert management.

Diversify your portfolio across equity and hybrid mutual funds for stability and growth.

2. Reevaluate Fixed Deposits (FDs)
Fixed deposits offer low returns, which may not keep pace with inflation.

Shift a part of the FD corpus to well-performing debt mutual funds.

Debt funds provide tax efficiency and moderate returns, better than FDs.

3. Leverage EPF Growth
EPF offers guaranteed returns with tax benefits.

Keep contributing regularly and avoid early withdrawals.

Let EPF serve as a low-risk component of your retirement corpus.

4. Enhance SIP Contributions Gradually
Increase your SIP amount annually as your income grows.

Even a 10-15% yearly increase can significantly impact your retirement corpus.

Automate your SIPs to maintain consistency and discipline.

5. Address Mutual Fund Taxation Rules
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) from equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5% above Rs. 1.25 lakh.

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Factor this into your maturity projections.

Efficiently plan withdrawals post-retirement to minimise tax liability.

6. Avoid Direct Plans
Direct funds lack personalised guidance and market insights.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner for expert recommendations.

Regular plans help you make informed decisions and adjust strategies.

7. Monitor and Rebalance Portfolio
Review your investments at least annually.

Rebalance based on market performance and your risk appetite.

Align your portfolio to your retirement timeline.

Risk Management
1. Health Insurance
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage to protect your savings from medical emergencies.

Opt for top-up plans for additional coverage, if needed.

2. Life Insurance
If you have any investment-linked policies (ULIP or endowment), consider surrendering them.

Reinvest proceeds into mutual funds for better returns.

Continue term insurance for family protection.

Final Insights
With your current savings, SIPs, and disciplined investing, you are well-positioned to reach Rs. 3 crores. Focus on optimising your portfolio, increasing SIPs, and managing risks effectively. Track your progress regularly and adjust your strategy as needed. Consistency and informed decisions will help you achieve your early retirement goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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