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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AP Question by AP on Sep 12, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam!
Let me get straight into my story... I have 3 best friends. We were very close.
One of them, say A, was in a relationship with a girl named B. We kind of set it up in 2019 but soon he lost interest. But she was into him. She begged him but he didn't respect her feelings. This went on for a year then she slowly began to move on.
Meanwhile, the girl and I got close. When he didn’t respond to her, she would cry to me and I pacified her. We became good friends but it escalated and we got into a relationship. I didn't discuss it with my friends. I informed them only after we became serious. It broke our friendship. I had asked my friend A many times about her and he’d said it’s all over so I never thought of discussing. I wasn’t aware that he was thinking about patching up with her. Now none of my close friends talk to me. Since most of my other friends are common to both of us, my entire school friends’ circle is lost. I feel very lonely. I know it’s my mistake. I shouldn't have done it. I never expected him to consider reuniting with her. Now I feel guilty for cheating my best friend. I feel like I abducted his girlfriend from him. What should I do now?
Should I break up my relationship? I know this won’t change anything now. But at least after a few years I can hope my friends will accept me. At the same time, I am into her so much and so is she but I feel terribly guilty and miss my friends. I am totally confused.
Would like to know your thoughts on my situation!!

Ans: Dear AP,

I don’t know how old you are, but it seems to me that you have broken some unwritten Bro Code.

But honestly, from your story all I can fathom is that you are choosing to feel guilty simply because your ‘close’ friends as you call them, ignore you.

Isn’t it immature of you to actually not be able to make a decision in life that involves you and your relationships, or do you need the blessings of your so-called friends for it?

As far as you are concerned, things were over between your friend and the girl.

So, did you need to take their permission to date her?

Also, what about your other friends? Did they not bother to even hear from you once and choose to see things your way and patch thing between you and your friend?

Instead, they decided to play the judge and pronounce you guilty for an act that doesn’t seem to need that verdict.

So, do you still want to swim in the sea of guilt and see your relationship with the girl wash away with time OR do you want to go surf that tide and take charge of your decision? Get the drift here?

Step Up; all the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

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Hello, I had a question for Anu ma'am. I have been in a relationship with a guy since 2021. He is a very sweet, loving, caring guy, is always patient with me, tries to understand me, puts in more effort than I do, loves me more than any guy ever would. I love him too but I have been sleeping with my best friend. She has a boyfriend too. We both feel that we've never experienced this kind of love before with any guy. We want to be together but also do not want to hurt these two guys. They've done a lot for us. Sometimes we think of running away but we know that no one's family would support us since we're of the same gender. I feel very helpless and stuck. Neither can I let my guy go, nor can I let my best friend go. I love them both. Could you please help me out?
Ans:

Dear A,

Before you confuse yourselves and others, seek professional help from someone who specialises in sexual orientation and challenges from it.

It can be very confusing to deal with this alone especially in a society that can scoff at same gender relationships.

Surround yourself with a lot of love and people who value you for who you are.

You need an independent view who can ask you questions that will put things into perspective and help you negotiate better with your confusions.

Remember confusions precede clarity, so never stop and keep moving.

Love yourself and your best friend even more as that’s what is going to help the two of you sail through this challenging time.

Sexual orientation moving away from what’s ‘normal’ can be scary and can throw us off balance as we have suddenly cut off the oxygen supply of support: which is society, family and friends who may or may not understand this.

Whatever this is, the confusion needs to be handled, so bring a third person’s expertise to move ahead. It definitely helps!

All the best!

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |170 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me
Ans: You were uncomfortable and moved away from the individual - more power to you. It takes time to come to terms or get over such situations - when breakups happen we all go through self doubt, anger, sadness- this is a phase - they come and pass. Focus on your emotional and mental wellbeing - take care

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |170 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me. Was I cheating on him. When we broke up he said I'm like other girls always playing the victim card, he called me names and said he lost respect and felt petty about me when I said I had nothing else to talk on this matter.
Ans: this has been responded to

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was in a relationship with my bestfriend for 1 and half years. Eventually I got to know that he liked physical intimacy more than emotional connection which is opposite to my concept. My feelings started to fade but I couldn't muster up courage to break up with him. While all this was going on I started to develop a crush on someone else but I never knew his name or never approached him in any ways and always kept my distance. Now it's been months since I broke up with my bf and about the crush I had I still hadn't approached it and I'm never planning to. I'm feeling that as I had a crush while being in a relation I cheated on my bf even though I hadn't approached or talked to the other person. Please clear it out. Have I cheated. I have never intended to hurt anyone but now I think I'm a cheater and I'm not able to sleep. I had to undergo therapy sessions right after break up due to the guilty and I've been diagnosed with depression too. Please tell me was I a cheater. I need a clear cut answer otherwise I won't able to live peacefully. Please help me
Ans: let me assure you that you're not a cheater. Having a crush or being attracted to someone else, especially when you're in a relationship where your emotional needs aren't fully met, is a natural human experience. What defines cheating is action—whether you pursued or acted on those feelings in a way that would break the trust and commitment of the relationship.

From what you described, you never approached or engaged with this person, and your feelings of guilt stem from the internal conflict of having a crush while still with your partner. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t cross any boundaries of betrayal. Emotional distance from your boyfriend due to differing needs is something that naturally can cause feelings to shift. Your realization that the relationship wasn’t aligned with your values speaks more to your integrity and self-awareness than to any notion of cheating.

The fact that you're struggling with these feelings shows how much you value honesty and loyalty. Sometimes, our minds create unnecessary guilt because we hold ourselves to very high standards. What you’re going through emotionally is tough, but it's important to differentiate between unintentional thoughts and intentional actions. You haven't betrayed anyone, and I hope this understanding helps you find some peace as you continue working on healing and your well-being.

It's clear you care deeply about not wanting to hurt others, but you also deserve self-compassion

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Nayagam P

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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
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Sir,my son got mtech cse in SRM kktr,btech AI DS in PSG ITECH Coimbatore and btech IT in TCE ,madurai which one to choose ,pls share your advise sir
Ans: Based on the following insights/information, advise your son to choose the most suitable option for him. Your son's options include an MTech dual degree in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) from SRM Institute of Science and Technology (SRM KKTR), a BTech in Artificial Intelligence and Data Science from PSG Institute of Technology and Applied Research (PSG ITECH), Coimbatore, and a BTech in Information Technology from Thiagarajar College of Engineering (TCE), Madurai. SRM KKTR is a deemed university with A++ NAAC accreditation, known for its integrated MTech programs that combine undergraduate and postgraduate studies, offering extensive research opportunities and strong industry exposure in a metropolitan setting. SRM consistently reports high placement rates with an average package over ?7 lakh. PSG ITECH is a reputed private institute focused on emerging technologies like AI and data science, with robust industry linkages and an 85% placement rate, average packages around ?6.5 lakh, and focus on hands-on learning in AI, machine learning, and big data analytics. TCE Madurai, an autonomous private college with A+ NAAC, excels in IT education with strong academics and around 80% placement rates; it is well-recognized regionally, with median salary packages around ?7 lakh, supported by a vibrant alumni network and industry contacts.

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Ans: At age 45 with 13 years of experience in admin executive, HR executive, and BPO roles, re-entering the job market after a year-long gap requires a focused, strategic approach combining practical steps and mindset shifts. Prioritize updating your resume and LinkedIn profile to highlight both your experience and recent efforts toward skill development, aligning with job descriptions and using relevant keywords to navigate applicant tracking systems. Harness multiple job portals such as Naukri.com, LinkedIn Jobs, Indeed, and TalentoIndia for diversified exposure. Leverage your network by reconnecting with former colleagues and supervisors and communicate your job search openly to access hidden opportunities. Develop a daily routine balancing job search, skill enhancement, and self-care to rebuild motivation and resilience. Consider upskilling or certification courses in demand areas like digital HR tools, payroll, or skilled administration, which also revitalize confidence. Volunteer work or freelance administrative roles can help ease back into employment and expand contacts. Prepare well for interviews by confidently addressing any employment gap and emphasizing your readiness and adaptability. Mental health support and career coaching can further support your journey. Overall, resilient persistence, proactive networking, targeted applications, continuous skill upgrades, and focused mindset adjustments form the roadmap to regain employment rapidly despite challenges linked to age and break.

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Nayagam P

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My grandson is studying 12th mpc subjects please advise which competitive entrance exams. Should be given for engineering stud
Ans: For your grandson studying the 12th MPC (Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry) stream, multiple competitive engineering entrance exams in India provide access to a wide range of prestigious institutions. The prominent national-level exam is the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) Main, conducted twice a year by the National Testing Agency (NTA), which tests knowledge in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics with a focus on NCERT-based syllabus. JEE Main serves as a gateway for admission to National Institutes of Technology (NITs), Indian Institutes of Information Technology (IIITs), and other centrally funded technical institutes, and is also a prerequisite for JEE Advanced for entrance to Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs). Another key national-level exam is BITSAT, the online test for Birla Institute of Technology and Science campuses, which includes additional sections like English Proficiency and Logical Reasoning alongside PCM. VITEEE is a well-known university-level entrance exam conducted by Vellore Institute of Technology, offering admission to its engineering programs. State-level exams such as Maharashtra’s MHT CET, West Bengal’s WBJEE, and Kerala’s KEAM target local candidates and provide pathways into state engineering colleges. Selection of exams should align with the student's preferred colleges, location, and career objectives. Ensuring eligibility, strong preparation for the PCM subjects, and timely application is crucial for success. The institutes to consider emphasize rigorous accreditation, qualified faculty, modern infrastructure, strong industry connections, and transparent governance for comprehensive student development.

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Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

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Hi Sir, My Son was looking for ECE but however he has secured E.E VLSI Design & Technology but he wants to pursue Bsc in Business AI or Bsc in CS at Dr. Homi Bhabha State University in mumbai, please advice which would be the best option .
Ans: Umesh Sir, Dr. Homi Bhabha State University (HBSU) offers pioneering three-year BSc programs in Business AI and Computer Science, backed by NAAC accreditation and industry collaboration with TeamLease EdTech, equipping students with hands-on AI tool training, project-based learning, and mentorship in domains spanning finance, marketing, and software development. The university’s modern labs, digital resources, and strategic Churchgate location grant access to Mumbai’s tech and financial hubs, while emerging placement ties with TCS, Infosys, and ICICI Bank reflect growing demand for graduates with AI and programming expertise. In contrast, the BTech in Electrical Engineering with VLSI Design & Technology provides a four-year engineering degree emphasizing chip design, semiconductor fabrication, and hardware-software integration, delivered through advanced clean-room facilities, specialized labs, and faculty research in microelectronics. Strong industry partnerships in the semiconductor sector foster core hardware roles, though the specialized nature may limit versatility compared to broader tech disciplines. Both pathways maintain transparent governance, experienced faculty, robust infrastructure, and career services.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

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My daughter got 75.47 percentile in jee main PCM group. She scored 77.67% in 12TH board from maharashtra state board under Savitri Bai Phule Pune University. Her 10th was from ICSE board with 95.33%. On the basis of these she got BTech in CSE at Amrita vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar campus which they launched this year with fees 1.25L per year or same course at Nagarcoil with 2L per year. In Maharashtra CET, her percentile is 88.05 and she got BTech in CE at Zeal college of engineering, pune with 30K fee per year as there is free education for girls in Maharashtra for OBC Non Creamy layer students. I am from Nashik, Maharashtra. Please guide me sir, Which one is better option as she want to do MS after graduation.
Ans: Bharat Sir, Your daughter’s options for pursuing B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar or Nagarcoil campuses, versus Civil Engineering (CE) at Zeal College of Engineering Pune, should be evaluated with a focus on her desire to pursue an MS abroad after graduation. Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham is a highly reputed university with A++ NAAC accreditation, known for strong research culture, excellent faculty, and extensive international collaborations including study abroad programs and research exchanges. The Haridwar campus offers a competitive, specialized CSE program with strong industry linkages and international recognition, making it well-suited for students aiming for higher studies abroad. The Nagarkoil campus also has similar credentials but involves higher tuition fees. In contrast, Zeal College in Pune, though affiliated with Savitribai Phule Pune University and holding NAAC A+ accreditation, offers a Civil Engineering program with significantly lower fees aided by Maharashtra’s free education scheme for OBC non-creamy layer girls. However, CE as a branch offers a different career trajectory compared to CSE; the latter generally provides broader scope, especially in the context of MS abroad admissions where CSE graduates tend to have stronger opportunities in global tech research hubs. Zeal’s local reputation and affordability are definite advantages, but for a future MS abroad, especially in tech domains, Amrita’s CSE program offers a more recognized platform with a research-oriented and tech-focused curriculum.

Recommendation: Prioritize Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar CSE for its robust academic quality, international exposure, and stronger alignment with MS pursuits abroad. Consider the Nagarkoil campus if budget permits and the branch preference remains CSE. Choose Zeal Pune CE only if budget constraints dominate and the focus is on local professional pathways or civil engineering specialization. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
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Sir is CIC du good or iter
Ans: The Cluster Innovation Centre (CIC) at Delhi University is a government-funded institute promoting innovation through interdisciplinary programs, industry collaborations, and practical project work. CIC offers a focused B.Tech in IT & Mathematical Innovations with advanced labs and a location in Delhi University's North Campus. Its recent placement data shows approximately 40-50% placement with median packages around ?8.5 LPA, though it lacks a dedicated placement cell. CIC emphasizes research-driven learning and innovation culture. On the other hand, the Institute of Technical Education and Research (ITER), affiliated with Siksha ‘O’ Anusandhan Deemed University, is a top-ranked private engineering institute, nationally placed 2nd among private colleges and 3rd overall in Times Engineering Survey 2025. ITER is accredited by ABET, offers various engineering branches with strong research facilities, robust industry ties, and consistent high placement rankings in eastern India and nationally. It has modern infrastructure, experienced faculty, and a broad-based engineering curriculum. While CIC stands out for innovation and niche curriculum under Delhi University’s umbrella, ITER excels in broader technical education, high national rankings, and placement outcomes.

Recommendation: Choose ITER for a comprehensive engineering education with superior infrastructure, accreditation, and higher placement potential. Opt for CIC if you value Delhi University affiliation and a focus on innovation and interdisciplinary research with emerging tech specialization. Your choice should align with your career goals and preferred learning environment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
My daughter got B.tech in Rubber and plastic technology, MIT Chennai. Now she received an email from SSN college for counseling to join Biomedical engineering which is under management quota.. what to decide whether to continue with MIT or SSN? Please suggest...
Ans: Malathi Madam, Your daughter’s current B.Tech in Rubber and Plastic Technology at Madras Institute of Technology (MIT) Chennai offers a specialized and unique curriculum that combines polymer science, rubber processing, and plastics technology, supported by experienced faculty, advanced labs, and strong industry connections with companies like Bridgestone and CEAT. MIT is esteemed as a government-affiliated institute under Anna University with solid accreditation and a robust placement record in this niche sector, with about 80% placement and internships, and average packages in relevant industries. Conversely, SSN College of Engineering’s Biomedical Engineering program, offered under management quota, is part of a reputed private institution with NAAC A++ accreditation, strong industry ties, vibrant research culture, and higher mainstream tech placement visibility. SSN’s Biomedical department reports decent placement support with recruiters from healthcare and technology domains, though admissions via management quota may have higher fees and different governance compared to MIT. Both institutions maintain transparent governance, modern infrastructure, and active student support systems. Your daughter’s choice hinges on whether she prefers continuing in the specialized Rubber and Plastics sector at a premier government-backed institute or pivoting to a broader, rapidly growing biomedical field with SSN’s private institute benefits. Just my suggestion: Prefer SSN-Biomedical Engineering, which is more suitable for a girl student (provided you are able to afford its Management Quota Fee) compared to Rubber-Plastic Technology. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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