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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AP Question by AP on Sep 12, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam!
Let me get straight into my story... I have 3 best friends. We were very close.
One of them, say A, was in a relationship with a girl named B. We kind of set it up in 2019 but soon he lost interest. But she was into him. She begged him but he didn't respect her feelings. This went on for a year then she slowly began to move on.
Meanwhile, the girl and I got close. When he didn’t respond to her, she would cry to me and I pacified her. We became good friends but it escalated and we got into a relationship. I didn't discuss it with my friends. I informed them only after we became serious. It broke our friendship. I had asked my friend A many times about her and he’d said it’s all over so I never thought of discussing. I wasn’t aware that he was thinking about patching up with her. Now none of my close friends talk to me. Since most of my other friends are common to both of us, my entire school friends’ circle is lost. I feel very lonely. I know it’s my mistake. I shouldn't have done it. I never expected him to consider reuniting with her. Now I feel guilty for cheating my best friend. I feel like I abducted his girlfriend from him. What should I do now?
Should I break up my relationship? I know this won’t change anything now. But at least after a few years I can hope my friends will accept me. At the same time, I am into her so much and so is she but I feel terribly guilty and miss my friends. I am totally confused.
Would like to know your thoughts on my situation!!

Ans: Dear AP,

I don’t know how old you are, but it seems to me that you have broken some unwritten Bro Code.

But honestly, from your story all I can fathom is that you are choosing to feel guilty simply because your ‘close’ friends as you call them, ignore you.

Isn’t it immature of you to actually not be able to make a decision in life that involves you and your relationships, or do you need the blessings of your so-called friends for it?

As far as you are concerned, things were over between your friend and the girl.

So, did you need to take their permission to date her?

Also, what about your other friends? Did they not bother to even hear from you once and choose to see things your way and patch thing between you and your friend?

Instead, they decided to play the judge and pronounce you guilty for an act that doesn’t seem to need that verdict.

So, do you still want to swim in the sea of guilt and see your relationship with the girl wash away with time OR do you want to go surf that tide and take charge of your decision? Get the drift here?

Step Up; all the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hello mam! Let me get straight into my story... I have 3 best friends. We were very close.One of them, say A, was in a relationship with a girl named B. We kind of set it up in 2019 but soon he lost interest. But she was into him. She begged him but he didn't respect her feelings. This went on for a year then she slowly began to move on.Meanwhile, the girl and I got close. When he didn’t respond to her, she would cry to me and I pacified her. We became good friends but it escalated and we got into a relationship. I didn't discuss it with my friends. I informed them only after we became serious. It broke our friendship. I had asked my friend A many times about her and he’d said it’s all over so I never thought of discussing. I wasn’t aware that he was thinking about patching up with her. Now none of my close friends talk to me. Since most of my other friends are common to both of us, my entire school friends’ circle is lost. I feel very lonely. I know it’s my mistake. I shouldn't have done it. I never expected him to consider reuniting with her. Now I feel guilty for cheating my best friend. I feel like I abducted his girlfriend from him. What should I do now? Should I break up my relationship? I know this won’t change anything now. But at least after a few years I can hope my friends will accept me. At the same time, I am into her so much and so is she but I feel terribly guilty and miss my friends. I am totally confused.Would like to know your thoughts on my situation!!
Ans: Dear AP,

I don’t know how old you are, but it seems to me that you have broken some unwritten Bro Code.

But honestly, from your story all I can fathom is that you are choosing to feel guilty simply because your ‘close’ friends as you call them, ignore you.

Isn’t it immature of you to actually not be able to make a decision in life that involves you and your relationships, or do you need the blessings of your so-called friends for it?

As far as you are concerned, things were over between your friend and the girl.

So, did you need to take their permission to date her?

Also, what about your other friends? Did they not bother to even hear from you once and choose to see things your way and patch thing between you and your friend?

Instead, they decided to play the judge and pronounce you guilty for an act that doesn’t seem to need that verdict.

So, do you still want to swim in the sea of guilt and see your relationship with the girl wash away with time OR do you want to go surf that tide and take charge of your decision? Get the drift here?

Step Up; all the best!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me
Ans: You were uncomfortable and moved away from the individual - more power to you. It takes time to come to terms or get over such situations - when breakups happen we all go through self doubt, anger, sadness- this is a phase - they come and pass. Focus on your emotional and mental wellbeing - take care

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me. Was I cheating on him. When we broke up he said I'm like other girls always playing the victim card, he called me names and said he lost respect and felt petty about me when I said I had nothing else to talk on this matter.
Ans: this has been responded to

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was in a relationship with my bestfriend for 1 and half years. Eventually I got to know that he liked physical intimacy more than emotional connection which is opposite to my concept. My feelings started to fade but I couldn't muster up courage to break up with him. While all this was going on I started to develop a crush on someone else but I never knew his name or never approached him in any ways and always kept my distance. Now it's been months since I broke up with my bf and about the crush I had I still hadn't approached it and I'm never planning to. I'm feeling that as I had a crush while being in a relation I cheated on my bf even though I hadn't approached or talked to the other person. Please clear it out. Have I cheated. I have never intended to hurt anyone but now I think I'm a cheater and I'm not able to sleep. I had to undergo therapy sessions right after break up due to the guilty and I've been diagnosed with depression too. Please tell me was I a cheater. I need a clear cut answer otherwise I won't able to live peacefully. Please help me
Ans: let me assure you that you're not a cheater. Having a crush or being attracted to someone else, especially when you're in a relationship where your emotional needs aren't fully met, is a natural human experience. What defines cheating is action—whether you pursued or acted on those feelings in a way that would break the trust and commitment of the relationship.

From what you described, you never approached or engaged with this person, and your feelings of guilt stem from the internal conflict of having a crush while still with your partner. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t cross any boundaries of betrayal. Emotional distance from your boyfriend due to differing needs is something that naturally can cause feelings to shift. Your realization that the relationship wasn’t aligned with your values speaks more to your integrity and self-awareness than to any notion of cheating.

The fact that you're struggling with these feelings shows how much you value honesty and loyalty. Sometimes, our minds create unnecessary guilt because we hold ourselves to very high standards. What you’re going through emotionally is tough, but it's important to differentiate between unintentional thoughts and intentional actions. You haven't betrayed anyone, and I hope this understanding helps you find some peace as you continue working on healing and your well-being.

It's clear you care deeply about not wanting to hurt others, but you also deserve self-compassion

..Read more

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Hello Sir, I have 40 Lakhs that I want to invest in lumpsum and then around 1 lakh SIP/month.I choose the below MF's to invest considering my risk appetite. [Moderate to high] HDFC Flexicap Direct plan Growth Nippon Multicap Fund Direct Growth Bandhan Small Cap Fund Direct Growth Edelweiss Midcap Direct Plan Growth SBI Contra Direct Plan Growth My Plan for Lumpsum: Invest 20 lakhs distributing it in above 5 funds (4 lakh each) Use another 20 Lakhs, put it in liquid fund and do STP to the above MF Hold for 10 years Plan for SIP of 1 Lakh: Hdfc Flexicap Direct plan Growth- 15K Nippon Multicap Fund Direct Growth- 15K Sbi Contra Direct Plan Growth -15K Quant Active Fund direct growth- 15K Bandhan Small Cap Fund Direct Growth- 20K Edelweiss Midcap Direct Plan Growth- 20K Question: Please help review the above plan for lumpsum and SIP and guide if there is any major flaw in it or need changes.
Ans: Your plan shows thoughtful diversification and allocation across categories. Let’s review the lumpsum, SIP, and fund selection strategies in detail.

Lumpsum Investment Plan
Diversification Across Categories: Your allocation of Rs 20 lakhs among large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and contra funds ensures good diversification.

Strategic Use of STP: Allocating Rs 20 lakhs into a liquid fund and initiating a systematic transfer plan (STP) is a prudent move. It reduces the risk of market volatility and ensures disciplined deployment of funds over time.

Room for Refinement: Ensure you align the STP duration with your risk appetite. A 6-12 month STP works for moderate-to-high risk investors. For a conservative approach, consider extending this to 18 months.

SIP Investment Plan
Balanced SIP Allocations: The monthly SIP of Rs 1 lakh is well-distributed across different fund categories. Allocating more to mid-cap and small-cap funds (20% each) aligns with your moderate-to-high risk profile.

Long-Term Focus: SIPs over 10 years will help you average market fluctuations. This approach aligns well with wealth-building goals.

Scope for Fine-Tuning: Consider reducing overlap in fund strategies. Some of your funds may invest in similar sectors or companies, leading to portfolio redundancy.

Evaluation of Fund Categories
1. Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide exposure to large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
They adjust dynamically based on market opportunities, balancing risk and returns.
2. Multicap Funds
Multicap funds must maintain a minimum of 25% allocation in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks.
This ensures exposure to various market segments while limiting extreme risks.
3. Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds
These funds offer higher growth potential but come with greater volatility.
Ideal for long-term goals, but monitor performance every 1-2 years.
4. Contra Funds
Contra funds follow a contrarian investment strategy, focusing on undervalued stocks.
While offering unique opportunities, they require patience for results.
Key Areas for Improvement
Review Overlap in Portfolio:

Check the overlap between the flexi cap, multi-cap, and contra funds.
Too much overlap might dilute diversification benefits.
Add a Debt Component:

A small debt fund allocation, beyond the liquid fund, can help balance your portfolio.
This acts as a cushion during equity market corrections.
Active Fund Management:

Since you’ve chosen direct funds, ensure regular monitoring.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures ongoing guidance and portfolio review.
Tax Implications
Lumpsum and STP Gains:

Any gains from the liquid fund during STP are subject to your income tax slab.
Ensure you plan for tax liabilities while making withdrawals.
Equity Mutual Funds:

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.
Tax Efficiency with SIPs:

Each SIP instalment has its own holding period. This means gains are taxed individually.
Risk Management
Volatility in Small- and Mid-Cap Funds:

While these categories offer higher returns, they also have greater volatility.
Avoid reallocating funds during market corrections to maximise compounding benefits.
Regular Reviews:

Perform yearly reviews of fund performance and category suitability.
Replace funds that consistently underperform benchmarks over 3-4 years.
Final Insights
Your investment plan is robust, aligning well with your risk appetite and long-term goals. The use of lumpsum and STP is commendable, and the SIP allocations show a focus on disciplined investing.

However, focus on reducing portfolio overlap and adding a debt component for better risk management. Monitor fund performance regularly, and consider engaging a CFP for periodic reviews to ensure your portfolio stays aligned with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7032 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

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Money
Me at Age 40 with my monthly income about 3 lacs and my wife about 80K with Sip of her about 30 k with liability of 10K every month and myself with personal loan of 55 lacs have liability of 83k with Sip of 10500 and ppf of 7 lacs till date and postal RD of 13k. How to plan early repayment of loan along with building retriement corpus of 5 Cr along with 2 childrens ,one in 7th grade and other in 2 nd grade.
Ans: Your combined household income is Rs. 3.8 lakh monthly, a commendable financial position. You also have consistent investments and moderate liabilities. The key objectives are:

Early repayment of loans (Personal loan of Rs. 55 lakh).
Building a retirement corpus of Rs. 5 crore.
Securing educational and financial needs for two children.
To achieve these goals, a disciplined and strategic financial plan is essential.

Assessing Current Cash Flow
Your income is Rs. 3.8 lakh monthly, and liabilities total Rs. 93,000 (including your SIPs and PPF).
Fixed commitments take approximately 24% of your income.
The remaining 76% (approx. Rs. 2.87 lakh) is your disposable income.
Key Action:

Allocate 50% of the disposable income for systematic repayment of loans.
Use the remaining for building a robust investment portfolio.
Loan Repayment Strategy
Reduce Personal Loan Burden
Prepay 10–20% of the loan principal annually if no penalty applies.
Channel surplus funds (Rs. 1.43 lakh monthly) into prepayments.
Renegotiate Loan Terms
Approach your lender for lower interest rates.
Consolidate high-interest loans, if feasible, to a lower-cost option.
Minimise EMI Load
Avoid taking on new debt.
Redirect bonuses, incentives, or windfall gains towards your loan principal.
By focusing on early repayment, you can save significant interest and free cash flow sooner.

Strengthening Investments
Balanced Asset Allocation
Your current investments in SIPs, PPF, and postal RD are well-diversified. To enhance growth:

Continue SIPs of Rs. 10,500 but aim to increase SIP amounts yearly.
Invest surplus funds in actively managed mutual funds (growth-oriented).
Maintain PPF as a low-risk debt investment option.
Align with Long-term Goals
For a Rs. 5 crore retirement corpus:

Increase monthly investments as loan liabilities reduce.
Focus on equity mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Planning for Children’s Education
Education expenses for two children will rise as they approach higher studies.

Key Recommendations:

Start earmarking separate investments for their education.
Use balanced or hybrid funds to align with education timelines.
Set aside 25–30% of your annual bonus for this purpose.
Emergency Fund Maintenance
Your emergency fund in RD and PPF is adequate for now.

Suggestions:

Maintain 6–12 months’ expenses as a liquid contingency fund.
Use FD or liquid funds to ensure accessibility and stability.
Tax-efficient Investment Planning
With new tax rules, focus on minimising tax liabilities on investments:

Equity mutual funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Diversify into hybrid and debt funds to balance risk and tax efficiency.
Leverage Section 80C for PPF and SIP investments.
Key Financial Habits to Adopt
Review your financial goals and plans annually.
Avoid over-diversification. Too many funds dilute returns.
Automate savings and investments to ensure discipline.
Final Insights
Balancing loan repayment, investments, and education savings is achievable with a structured plan. Focus on systematic investments while steadily reducing your debt. This will free cash flow for long-term goals like retirement and children's education.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7032 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am in Australia,I am a nominee for a Fixed deposit in state bank of India branch in Chennai. In my deceased grandmother account. The state bank authorities want me to come personally to claim the amount. are there any alternative
Ans: Claiming a fixed deposit as a nominee without visiting India is possible, but it requires specific documentation and procedures. Below are some alternatives you can consider to avoid traveling to Chennai:

1. Approach the Indian Consulate in Australia
Visit the nearest Indian consulate or embassy in Australia.
They can assist with notarizing the required documents, including your identity and nomination proof.
Some consulates offer services like affidavit attestation, which is often required by Indian banks.
2. Authorise a Representative in India
Execute a Power of Attorney (POA) in favour of a trusted person in India.
The POA should be notarized by the Indian consulate in Australia and sent to India.
Your representative can then handle the claim process with the bank on your behalf.
Ensure the POA explicitly states the authority to claim the fixed deposit.
3. Submit Documents by Post or Courier
Confirm with the bank if they allow document submission by post.

Required documents may include:

Claim application form provided by the bank.
Your identity proof (passport and visa copy).
Proof of nomination (usually the fixed deposit receipt mentioning your name as the nominee).
Death certificate of your grandmother (original or attested copy).
Address proof in Australia.
Documents must be notarized by the Indian consulate or an equivalent authority.

4. Online Request or Email Communication
Contact the SBI branch via email or phone to check if they can initiate an online claim process.
Some branches might permit submission of scanned documents initially, followed by couriering notarized copies.
5. Legal Heir Certificate or Succession Certificate (if required)
Although you are a nominee, some banks may require additional documentation, such as a legal heir certificate or succession certificate, especially for large amounts.
If needed, engage a lawyer in India to assist with obtaining these documents and submitting them to the bank.
6. Reach Out to SBI’s NRI Services
SBI offers NRI-specific services. Contact their NRI helpline or NRI customer service team to escalate your request.
Email: contactcentre at sbi.co.in
Toll-Free Numbers (NRI): Available on the SBI website (https://sbi.co.in).
Key Points to Note
Ensure all documents are attested by authorized entities like the Indian consulate.
Keep scanned copies of all communications and receipts for your records.
Stay in contact with the bank manager for regular updates and ensure compliance with their procedures.
If none of these alternatives work, you may need to visit India personally to complete the process.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |651 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello finance guru, I am 45 years old , with 2 kids. I live in a Tier-1 city with ~49 Crores of networth. This includes ~12 crores of investment in real estate (land and a flat at a prime location), ~34 crores in equity, ~1 Cr in Crypto and ~2 Cr in cash. I work in a pharmaceutical firm in an executive role and planning to retire in the next 1 year. My knowledge on finances is average and would like to seek your advise. I would like to generate ~2.5 lakhs per month for expenses from my savings and would like to double my networth in the next 7 years. Could you provide me help on the directions I can take to make this working?
Ans: Hello;

Deducting the real estate and crypto investments from your networth, we have 36 Cr.

You may invest 4 Cr each in 2 equity savings type mutual funds and 2 conservative hybrid debt oriented mutual funds.

If you do a 3% SWP from each of these funds you may expect a monthly payout of around 2.8 L (post-tax).

These funds generally yield 8-9% returns so they will continue to provide inflation adjusted income to you.(6% inflation rate considered)

Balance remains around 20 Cr, while 2 Cr may be retained as liquid fund for contingency requirement, the balance 18 Cr you may invest in combination of mutual funds, PMSs and AIFs.

As you enter retirement phase your focus should shift from "maximising returns" to "decent returns with moderate risk" since return of capital is more important than return on capital.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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