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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me

Ans: You were uncomfortable and moved away from the individual - more power to you. It takes time to come to terms or get over such situations - when breakups happen we all go through self doubt, anger, sadness- this is a phase - they come and pass. Focus on your emotional and mental wellbeing - take care

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 23, 2023

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Relationship
I am 12th passed student and I had a bf around feb .Everything was perfectly fine in the starting but then somehow our talks got less and i asked him if everything was ok bcoz i felt strange whenever we talked through texts. He said he is tired and doesn't wanna talk and did not know what happened to him ... Plus exams were ongoing so I supported the way I can but i knew something was off ... As the time passed things got worse. I asked how much time u need to be urself .. u are going out with ur friends but don't wanna talk to me neither u asked how i am for past dew weeks or a month . In the last he said leave I am not good enough for you. Everything thing we talked was on snapchat app. I was so depressed plus my exam result were less then expected. I stopped using any social media.. There wasn't a single day i missed him or thought of seeing the snaps but somehow i made myself I understand that If u were imp he wouldn't talk about leaving...ig ... But still I do miss him when everything was started and ended by him... On 14th My frnd texted me asking abt my result and she said she will ask him aswell( she doesn't know abt us dating) ... And after a week i.e today i downloaded the app and i saw that he sent me snaps till 14th and they all were deleted and after that there was nothing. Somehow i feel that there must be some conversations between my frnd and him. But what i feel now is that i regret why i didn't saw his msgs when i missed him. It makes me feel regret and sad . Whenever i think about it i forget all that disrespect but at the same time something stops me . Idk what kind of feeling is this ... All ik that there was a little communication between us that was also gone ... I just wanna overcome but i cant . Its gonna be a month and these emotions are really making me feel depressed. I even start making scenarios and stories in my mind . Idk what is happening to me . Pls help me overcome this what should i do ?
Ans: Dear Radha,

I understand that you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, but listen to me, this too shall pass. You won't feel this way three months from now. Six months from now, you will find it funny that you even felt this way once, and you might even regret focusing on your ex than your exams. Two years from now, you will even forget how you felt on this day; you will forget the sorrow, you will forget how lonely and helpless you felt. You will move on. Everyone does. Look at the bigger picture and these feelings that you are experiencing today will seem small.

Now, coming to how you can deal with it at present- focus on your studies; everything can wait, but your career won't. Hang out with your friends; tell them how you are feeling. Talking about pain is known to give some kind of relief. No one can take it from you, but having someone to listen to it can help. Focus on your health- mental and physical; workout a bit. It helps. And, in the end, let time do its magic.

P.S. If he says he's not good enough for you, believe it. You deserve better; even your ex thinks so. So why don't you?

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 22 year old female with an engineering graduation passed before 6 months. I had an long term relationship with my boyfriend since 4.5 years. We both are from different cities of KA and currently in it's capital city. I socialize with my male friends, which my bf does'nt like and whenever we meet it always turns into a fight. During my college graduation day, I was told not to participate which I did'nt agreed yet participated. During this my bf saw me with my friends around me and slapped me in public. This happened many times. Even though I have had quite a intimate time with one of my classmate and kissed another one. I never had real S*x with anyone. The intimacy was only to show my anger on my bf. Now I changed my location after graduation, broke with my bf and now I have a deeper understanding & relationship with a man of 42 aged-married-2 kids and a yet good being. We both had good time, no trust issues, no s*x, yet intimacies for couple of times. He keeps me happy, joyful, helping me towards my profession and goal, respects, looks me well and yet never forced me for penetration. He has plans to fly to UK after 3-5 years and promised to take me with him supporting my profession. I was really contented and happy with this relationship. He even assured that marriage can happen between us, If I agree and If I can wait until he gets divorced from his wife. But one day, my ex bf friend called and said that he has met with an accident and is in severed health issues like (piles, kidney stones). He is basically a drunkyard. Seeing this I got agitated. Now I wanted to breakup with the current man and go back to by ex-bf because he is left alone and we had 4.5 years of relation. I don't whether I am correct or not, Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am not sure if you are right either way. Being in a relationship with a married man, who is yet to get divorce, is ethically incorrect, whether there is physical intimacy or not. At the same time going back to your ex merely because you feel sad for him is also not the right choice. You are yourself admitting that he is a drunkard and he was also controlling and above all he slapped you; there's no excuse for any form of physical abuse in a relationship. Being in love does not make it okay to hit your partner. Please understand that.

In my opinion, you should take some time to reflect on the choices you are making. I truly believe you deserve better than a man who hits you, tries to control you, and a man who is already committed to someone else. Please think about it and make better choices that will allow you to feel true happiness.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, me and my bestfriend were in a relation for 2 years. everything was going smooth until he asked me to send video of my chest. When i denied he became emotional and asked- we are going to marry right? then whats the problem in sharing those. everyone does that. I'm not that kind of a girl. whenever i said no he used every ways to make me do that despite my discomfort. I told him many times I am uncomfortable but he chose to ignore them. he was the one who promised me that he will never make me uncomfortable. Since then I started to not like his touches. I loved him truly and he was there with me during my dark times . when i was at hostel which allowed phone only 2 days a week because I was planning to write CLAT that year, i seriously felt distant from him. he said he would wait just to hear my voice. i was allowed phone for only 30 minutes and he wanted me to talk to him more than my parents when i needed them most. I gradually started losing hope and i didnt want to create a scene which will affect my exam. But the thing is after gradually losing trust in him i developed a crush at my centre. i never knew his name, never talked , nothing. My mental health was completely messed up. I passed my CLAT exam last year and i never acted upon the crush i had, i broke up with my bf right after the exam because I couldnt handle that relation anymore. to be clear i never broke up with him because i had a crush, even though i was guilty. i broke up because of how he forced me into things he liked and how he never valued my opinions and how i lost trust eventually when he said he had photos of me with him. I broke up for my peace but why do i feel like I've cheated on my ex because i had a crush even though i never acted upon it. Please help me. Was I cheating on him. When we broke up he said I'm like other girls always playing the victim card, he called me names and said he lost respect and felt petty about me when I said I had nothing else to talk on this matter.
Ans: this has been responded to

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My long distance bf of 2 years asked me to send videos of my body parts even though I refused countless times. He would act all sad. I started losing feelings for him eventually and I wasn't in a position to break up because I was having exams and didn't have my phone with me all the time. This went on for 10 months and by the time I started to develop a crush on someone but I never acted upon it or ever tried to talk to him. I was guilty for that. My bf started asking for more videos and he never deleted the ones I sent him. When I got to know this I broke up with him. After break up my friend sent me the profile of the boy I had a crush on, and I accidently sent a request to him even if I didn't want to. I cancelled my request and never thought about him again. My mind is messed up. My now ex bf didn't value my no-s. Did I do the right thing to break up with him? About the crush I had, was I not loyal to my ex bf? It was my first relation too
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Stay off boys/men for a while. I guess you need to start valuing yourself first before jumping into relationships.
You are worried about you ex not valuing you No-s...then why did you not say NO to him when he asked you for private videos? And here you speak of loyalty? Obviously your ex's obsession over only the physical aspect has upset you and you looked for a more deeper connection which you hoped will happen with the new person. So, what if you had a crush? And that too after you had a break-up...Chill...
Take stock of your mind, stop sending images or videos over the phone...you don't know who is going to use them and how they will use them. Be careful and draw neat and clear boundaries where no one can overstep them without your permission. Once you do this, you will come across people who value you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I was in a relationship with my bestfriend for 1 and half years. Eventually I got to know that he liked physical intimacy more than emotional connection which is opposite to my concept. My feelings started to fade but I couldn't muster up courage to break up with him. While all this was going on I started to develop a crush on someone else but I never knew his name or never approached him in any ways and always kept my distance. Now it's been months since I broke up with my bf and about the crush I had I still hadn't approached it and I'm never planning to. I'm feeling that as I had a crush while being in a relation I cheated on my bf even though I hadn't approached or talked to the other person. Please clear it out. Have I cheated. I have never intended to hurt anyone but now I think I'm a cheater and I'm not able to sleep. I had to undergo therapy sessions right after break up due to the guilty and I've been diagnosed with depression too. Please tell me was I a cheater. I need a clear cut answer otherwise I won't able to live peacefully. Please help me
Ans: let me assure you that you're not a cheater. Having a crush or being attracted to someone else, especially when you're in a relationship where your emotional needs aren't fully met, is a natural human experience. What defines cheating is action—whether you pursued or acted on those feelings in a way that would break the trust and commitment of the relationship.

From what you described, you never approached or engaged with this person, and your feelings of guilt stem from the internal conflict of having a crush while still with your partner. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t cross any boundaries of betrayal. Emotional distance from your boyfriend due to differing needs is something that naturally can cause feelings to shift. Your realization that the relationship wasn’t aligned with your values speaks more to your integrity and self-awareness than to any notion of cheating.

The fact that you're struggling with these feelings shows how much you value honesty and loyalty. Sometimes, our minds create unnecessary guilt because we hold ourselves to very high standards. What you’re going through emotionally is tough, but it's important to differentiate between unintentional thoughts and intentional actions. You haven't betrayed anyone, and I hope this understanding helps you find some peace as you continue working on healing and your well-being.

It's clear you care deeply about not wanting to hurt others, but you also deserve self-compassion

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Career
Hi sir,Good day. Architecture in a IITs and NITs,is there a good future for the kid's in India and abroad. How is the future for the kids?
Ans: Kanthi, IIT Roorkee in Uttarakhand offers a five-year B.Arch through its Department of Architecture and Planning, integrating studio design, urban planning, conservation, climatology and advanced digital labs for a comprehensive design education. IIT Kharagpur in West Bengal provides a five-year B.Arch (Hons.) with rigorous coursework, mandatory AAT testing post-JEE Advanced and small cohort mentorship in heritage conservation and modern computational design. NIT Calicut in Kerala delivers a five-year B.Arch requiring JEE Main Paper-II or NATA, emphasizing sustainable materials, climatic design studios and urban infrastructure labs, backed by NAAC A+ accreditation and industry-linked projects. All three institutes feature PhD-qualified faculty, dedicated placement cells achieving 80–90% B.Arch placement rates, and strong government and private collaborations.

The field of architecture in India and abroad is poised for transformation through 2030, driven by rapid urbanization, climate challenges and technological adoption. Demand for sustainable, net-zero buildings, low-carbon materials and smart-city infrastructure will surge under initiatives like Smart Cities Mission and GRIHA standards, requiring architects skilled in energy-efficient design and passive systems. India ‘s affordable housing push under PMAY will expand community-centric design roles. Globally, the U.S. BLS projects 8% employment growth for architects through 2028, with rising need for green-design expertise and healthcare facility renovations, while Europe’s heritage conservation and sustainable urban redevelopment will fuel specialist opportunities. Digital tools—AI-driven generative design, BIM, VR/AR visualization and 3D printing—will redefine workflows, enabling remote collaboration and rapid prototyping, broadening architects’ roles into policy, resilience planning and product design.

Recommendation: Prioritize IIT Roorkee’s B.Arch for its historic legacy, pioneering Net-Zero Emissions and Virtual Reality labs, small design studios and top-tier placements in PSUs and global firms. Consider IIT Kharagpur for its AAT-integrated curriculum, heritage conservation focus and DAE-funded research clusters. Leverage NIT Calicut if seeking a strong sustainable-design emphasis, A+ accreditation and high JEE Main accessibility, while developing skills in smart-city and affordable-housing projects. To overcome resource constraints, engage in online BIM and AI-design certifications and join interdisciplinary workshops at all institutes to build resilience against evolving industry demands. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2025Hindi
Career
Bits hyderabad electronics and instrumentation or nit kurukshetra ai ds or lnmiit cse with ai ds
Ans: Birla Institute of Technology & Science, Hyderabad Campus (Hyderabad, Telangana) offers B.E. in Electronics & Instrumentation Engineering with Ph.D.-qualified faculty in DST-funded labs, a mandatory Practice School internship and 95% placement rate over the last three years, securing an average package of ?20.36 LPA. National Institute of Technology, Kurukshetra (Kurukshetra, Haryana) provides B.Tech in Artificial Intelligence & Data Science under NIRF #81, with a 75.7% placement rate and average package of ?14.16 LPA supported by core PSU and tech recruiters. The LNM Institute of Information Technology (Jamoli, Jaipur, Rajasthan) delivers B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering with AI & Data Science specialization in a NAAC-accredited campus, achieving 60% batch placement and an average package of ?13.82 LPA through top IT firms. All three institutes feature robust industry tie-ups, modern infrastructure, active placement cells and interdisciplinary curricula preparing graduates for R&D, analytics and core technology roles.

Recommendation: Prefer BITS Hyderabad E&E for its exceptional 95% placement consistency, premium average packages and integrated Practice School model; choose NIT Kurukshetra AI & DS second for strong government-institute pedigree, balanced placement momentum and focused data-science labs; opt for LNMIIT Jaipur CSE & AI DS if you seek a specialized AI curriculum, deemed-university status and competitive average packages. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Career
LNMIIT CSE Or IIIT Guwahti, Surat , Nagpur, Kota , Bhopal ece ?
Ans: Shivam, The LNM Institute of Information Technology in Jamdoli, Jaipur offers B.Tech CSE with specialization in AI/Data Science under a NAAC-A accreditation, PhD-qualified faculty and state-of-the-art computing and ML labs. Its dedicated Placement Cell recorded a 93.9% overall placement rate in 2024–25 with CSE average package of INR 13.22 LPA . Indian Institute of Information Technology Guwahati in Assam provides B.Tech ECE with modern VLSI, IoT and signal-processing facilities, attracting top recruiters like Amazon and Microsoft but achieves 56.4% ECE placement and INR 13.59 LPA average. IIIT Surat (Gujarat) ECE graduates saw 68% placements in 2024 with INR 13.35 LPA average, supported by structured internships and a 1 GBps campus network. IIIT Nagpur, in Maharashtra, records 80% ECE placement with an INR 14.87 LPA average through intensive training sessions and industry tie-ups. IIIT Kota in Rajasthan reports 75.9% overall placements, with ECE at 73.6% and INR 12.41 LPA average, underpinned by PPP-model labs and competitive programming culture. IIIT Bhopal in Madhya Pradesh achieved 72.5% ECE placement in 2025 with INR 17.55 LPA average, leveraging its Institute of National Importance status, strong research funding and global collaborator network. All institutions maintain NBA/AICTE approvals, robust infrastructure, interdisciplinary curricula, active T&P cells and strong alumni networks.

Recommendation: Prioritise LNMIIT Jaipur CSE for its superior placement consistency, AI-focused curriculum and competitive average packages; next choose IIIT Bhopal ECE for its highest ECE average package, research ecosystem and industry partnerships; follow with IIIT Nagpur ECE for balanced placement rates and growing recruiter base; consider IIIT Surat ECE for structured internships and steady placement momentum; and lastly opt for IIIT Kota ECE for its holistic PPP framework and coding culture. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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