Hi Ravi, do you think that all men/boys seek is only physical relationship when they befriend women/girls? And even when a relationship begins at an emotional level it ultimately ends up with men seeking to satisfy their lust and once their lust is satisfied the relationship too ends?

Ans:

Dear S,

The very fact that you have asked me this question as to whether he loved you at all simply suggests that you have the answer to that.

Certain actions of people can make us quite unsettled and I would like to point you to the fact of him proposing to you almost immediately after he was rejected by the other girl (teacher).

What does that tell you?

Doesn’t it seem that he is possibly incapable of taking rejections and also wants to feel the aura of woman around him all the time?

Aren’t these messages enough for you to be able to find someone more mature and someone who respects your presence in his life and wants to marry you for love and a life together rather than to make him feel secure, whole and complete?

Never try and fill an emotional void in a person which must be filled by them on their own accord. Once you fill it, another void will be waiting to be filled by someone else and before you know, you will be caught in a loop that can’t be untied.

Your presence offers him warmth, attention and care of woman that you have possibly been splurging on him.

When he finds another woman offering this, he might be ready to try that as well. Be your own person, guard your boundaries and let people in who nourish you and accept you for who you are.

Be well and happy!

Ans: Dear Rajani,
Firstly let me put all your thoughts (assumptions) in one place. Assumptions are statements based on perceptions and not facts which sour connections and breaks relationships.
These have been picked from your question to me.
1. It is obvious that he doesn't want to be in touch
2. I wish he would stop playing games
3. I feel he is a drama king and thrives on it

This is your reading of the situations based on the way you have understood it. How much of this is true? Could it be your version of the truth?
Also, you have stated that you don't want to keep in touch; then why are you?
And if you really didn't want to, why is his playing games bothering you?
My suggestions:
1. Be clear if you want an association with him. If Yes, please clear out the air, so that there is no room for assumptions anymore.
2. Do understand that sometimes people are on eggshells after an altercation; he possibly is also carrying a lot of assumptions about you in his mind and that's why he's hot and cold alternatively.
3. Give the benefit of doubt to people; they might be going through something that you makes them behave in an odd way.
3. Drama King or not, there's a lot of unsaid discomfort between the two of you; do get into a non-judgemental space so even if the two of you don't patch up, it can be an amicable goodbye.

Steer away from assumptions and it makes room for either rebuilding a relationship or part ways on a good note.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Samrat,
Attraction can turn into an extra marital affair but an affair does not need a precursor to it. It may or may not be dependent on anything.
Yes, most often a lack in a relationship can cause people to look outside of marriage but this may not be the only reason. It's also the time and place and how the opportunity presents itself and how much one is willing to explore the realms outside of a marriage/relationship.
A person who practices monogamy will have very strong opinions about why one needs to be true to his/her partner whereas where people believe in multiple relationships will justify things according to what they believe. So there is no black and white answer just the way life is...they grey area comes around to confuse, question, debate and set us on a path that aligns well with our beliefs.

All the best!

Ans: Hello Samrat,
It's important to recognize that every individual and relationship is unique, and there can be a variety of reasons why someone may seek emotional or intimate connections outside of their primary relationship, even when it seems satisfying. and there is no one-size-fits-all explanation for why some women may become involved in intimate relationships outside of their exclusive partnerships. People's motivations and actions are influenced by a complex interplay of psychological, emotional, social, and situational factors and this is not exclusive to women; individuals of any gender may experience this behavior.