Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |86 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Shree Question by Shree on Apr 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship

I am male married since 2013 , I was working full time and had good career for 10 yrs, I absolutely did not had any physical or mental health issues before marriage and was working full time as IT professional. After marriage from begning I had conflicts and disputes with inlaws. They were keeping too many expectations from My Wife and were doing lot of interference and trying to control My Wife and our married life. They were not allowing us to live our married life independently. There is no issues or conflicts between Me and My Wife and she is living with Me by her own will , but My Wife is mentally and physically weak so she does not handle inlaws and is unable to set the boundries with them after marriage. My in laws are immoral, highly manipulative and controlling people, on face they show and act as if they are very matured people and gentleman but behind they do all sort of negative and immoral activties. They also practice black magic and do all sorts of immoral activities to control My Wife and harm Me. After 5 yrs of marriage , I am suffering from rare, severe and complex Neurological disease since 2019 , I am like bed bound, and having difficulty in talking, sitting upright for long time. I am not able to work due to My severe health condition since 5 yrs now. Taking advantage of My severe, rare and long term health condition , My in laws are defaming Me and spreading rumors about Me to the neighbours, relatives and wherever I go by tracking My activities. They are telling that I am mentally unstable and have had physcological / mental issues from begning of marriage and they are trying to earn fake soft corner of thier daugther in front of people saying that our daughter is caught in this toxic marriage and her life is getting spoilt due to this marriage. They are also tracking each and every activity of Mine by hacking my mobile and creating severe obstacles by defaming Me and spreading rumors about Me They are trying to block My medical treatment by misguiding the Doctors and also blocking anyone who is helping Me ? They are forcing Me indirectly to convience My Wife and take mutual divorce and also demanding Money one time Amount from Me. --------------------------------------- How can I deal with such situation ? Considering I am bedbound and My health condition is severe , I am not in position to take legal action against them What can I do to stop this defamation and turning people against Me ? What can I do about tracking of all My activities through hacking of My mobile ?

Ans: Hello sir.
I am sorry to hear the situation of yours. I would suggest you to keep your wife in confidence so that your in laws can't reach your doctor and you can take your proper treatment. Secondly dont take stress of defamation. People around you know you. Now just concentrate on your health so that you can recover from it and join your job again.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Please keep it anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I hope things are better for you now. I have answered your question on July 22 itself...You may copy paste the link below on your browser to view the answer:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/keep-anonymous-married-12-daughter-marriage-lost-father-70-mother/5142258

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Please keep this anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are sharing your story which is indeed sad tells me that you know what must be done but are hesitating to do it.
When there is no respect in a marriage and for the spouse and his needs and the issue has become money and to attain that money at all costs, that is not a marriage anymore. It only speaks of selfishness.
You are right in protecting your interests and that of your daughter. So, time to toughen up and say NO to your wife and her family. It may seem harsh to them at first, but be very assertive. You have the right to plan your finances especially when family around you have begun to act like predators.
So taking a loan is only going to bleed your finances more and if you are convinced you don't want to do that, then please don't.
Yes, there will be arguments and big fights, but do what is right by you and for you. It may seem selfish but it is only self-care and self-love. This should also help you become fitter physically and emotionally to lead a better quality life.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2023

Relationship
Please keep my question anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing with your wife and in-laws. It's clear that you have been through a lot, including battling cancer and overcoming financial challenges to support your family. It's important to remember that you deserve support and understanding from your spouse and in-laws during these trying times.

Here are some suggestions on how to handle this ongoing financial commitment and the issues you're facing:

Open communication: Have an honest and open conversation with your wife about your financial situation, your concerns, and the importance of working together as a team. Explain the financial constraints you are facing due to your health issues and medical expenses. Ensure that she understands the importance of planning for your daughter's education and future.
Seek professional advice: If necessary, consult with a financial advisor or a family counselor to mediate the discussions and help find a resolution. A neutral third party might be able to provide insights and suggestions to manage the financial matters more effectively.
Legal consultation: Since there are disputes over property and ownership, it might be wise to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options related to your father's property. They can help you navigate the legal aspects and protect your interests.
Support from extended family: Reach out to your brother and sister for support and understanding during these challenging times. They may be able to provide emotional and even financial support to help you and your mother.
Set boundaries: Clearly communicate with your wife and in-laws about your expectations and boundaries. Make it clear that you won't tolerate harassment or demands that are unfair or unreasonable.
Financial planning: If possible, create a financial plan for your daughter's education and future needs. Discuss with your wife how you can contribute together to achieve these goals, considering your current financial constraints.
Seek support for yourself: Going through so much stress can be emotionally draining. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you cope with the situation and manage your emotions.
Stay strong and assertive: Remember that you have been through a lot and have worked hard to provide for your family. Stay assertive in protecting your interests while maintaining respect and empathy.
Ultimately, it's essential to prioritize your daughter's well-being and future. Ensure that the decisions made are fair and in the best interest of all involved parties. If the situation becomes too overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek legal advice to protect your rights and assets. Remember, it's okay to seek help and support when dealing with challenging circumstances like this.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2026
Career
I have taken a 12th-grade drop year, and this year I have to take admission. But my parents are not supporting me. Last year also, because of all these issues, my admission got delayed, and this year again, no one in my family is taking it seriously. They don't allow me to meet anyone or even go outside the house. They don't even let me go to the terrace. They keep saying, "Whatever you want to achieve, do it from home. People who really want to succeed can do it from anywhere." I don't have any problem studying from home. In fact, after my drop year, I started preparing for CA, and everything was going well initially. But after a few months, my mother started taking away my phone. She wouldn't let me talk to anyone, go outside, or even step onto the terrace. Along with that, there was a lot of mental and emotional abuse. My mother uses extremely abusive and degrading language toward me, and it has become very difficult for me to handle. Because of the constant verbal abuse and emotional stress, I often can't concentrate on my studies. Whenever I study peacefully for two days, the same traumatic cycle starts all over again the next day. This only happens to me in my family. I am the only daughter after my two elder brothers. I can't even share these things with anyone because none of my friends have to go through anything like this. Sometimes, if I simply go to the terrace, my mother starts shouting at me and uses extremely abusive language. Even if I use my phone only for studying, I am not allowed to keep it. I can't even talk to someone to refresh my mind or reduce stress, and I'm not allowed to meet my friends or go outside either. Sometimes, it becomes so overwhelming that I feel like I don't want to live in this house anymore. I feel trapped, emotionally exhausted, and completely isolated. All I want is a peaceful environment where I can study, focus on my future, and live with basic freedom and dignity.
Ans: Hi!!

I want you to understand that your desire to study, build a career and have some basic freedom is absolutely justified. You are not asking for too much. You are asking for an environment where you can concentrate on your studies, take decisions about your future and live with dignity.

From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not your ability to study or your willingness to work hard. You have already proved that you can prepare for CA and stay focused when things are going well. The real concern here is the environment in which you are expected to study.

You really need to understand that a peaceful mind is essential for effective learning. When you are constantly exposed to shouting, abusive language and emotional stress, it becomes difficult to concentrate, regardless of how determined you are to succeed. So please don't blame yourself for struggling with your studies. You are trying to focus on your future while simultaneously dealing with a very distressing situation at home.
Having said that, I would like you to think about something important. Your education and your future cannot remain on hold because of the circumstances you are facing today. You have already lost valuable time because of delays in admission, and I don't want you to lose another year waiting for things to improve on their own.
You need support, and you need to take practical steps towards securing your future.
First, identify a trusted adult who can understand your situation and help you. It could be a relative, a teacher, a former school counsellor or another responsible person you feel comfortable approaching. Please don't assume that nobody will understand you simply because your friends may not be experiencing the same difficulties. You don't have to deal with this alone.

Second, make your admission a priority. Find out the courses available to you, the eligibility requirements, the deadlines and the documents you need. If you cannot manage the process independently, seek help from a trusted adult who can guide you. You need a concrete plan rather than being caught in the same cycle of conflict and uncertainty.

Third, please understand that respecting your parents does not mean accepting abusive behaviour as something you deserve. You can love your family and still recognise that certain words and behaviours are hurting you. You don't have to fight or argue with your mother to prove your point. When things become heated, try to avoid escalating the situation and prioritise your emotional and physical safety.

And finally, please don't isolate yourself emotionally. You need someone with whom you can talk openly, someone who can listen without judging you. If the situation at home continues to feel unbearable, a counsellor or a trusted adult outside the family can help you work through it and explore safe options.

Remember, this difficult phase of your life does not define your future. You have ambitions, you want to study, and you want to become independent. Hold on to those goals, but don't feel that you have to achieve everything through sheer willpower while dealing with this distress alone.

Your future matters. Your mental well-being matters. And you deserve to live with dignity.

I would like to ask you two important questions -
* First, are you physically safe at home, or has the abuse ever become physical?
*Second, is there any trusted relative, teacher or other adult who could help you with your admission process?
I am asking because I want you to have advice that is practical for your situation, not just words of encouragement

Tc ! Best wishes always..

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I studied in an English-medium school, but during school and college most of my friends and even teachers were more comfortable speaking Hindi, so that became my natural communication language. Now after many years, I work in an office where English is used much more regularly. I can understand English and I can write basic things, but when I have to speak suddenly, I sometimes struggle to find the right words. Even for a simple question to a colleague, I first rehearse the sentence in my mind two or three times before saying it. If someone suddenly asks me something in English, I sometimes fumble even though I know what I want to say. I also depend quite a lot on ChatGPT to help me frame emails, messages and sometimes even replies because I worry about making grammar mistakes or sounding less professional. Recently, a new girl joined our office who speaks very confidently in English and seems more comfortable talking to people who are also very fluent or part of what feels like an ‘elite’ group. She does speak with us, but not as much, and sometimes I become more conscious about my own English when I see how naturally she communicates. I know everyone has a different communication style, but this has made me wonder whether my lack of fluency is affecting how people perceive me at work. How can I improve my spoken English and workplace communication so that I can speak spontaneously and confidently without mentally preparing every sentence first?
Ans: Hi!!!
First of all, you need to understand that being fluent in English does not necessarily mean being a good communicator. Communication is about how effectively you express your thoughts, ideas and feelings, and not merely about the language you speak.
From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not that you don't know English, but that you have become conscious of your English. The more you worry about making grammatical mistakes or using the wrong words, the more you hold yourself back. And the more you hold yourself back, the less opportunity you give yourself to become fluent.
You really need to ask yourself this question: Am I more concerned about communicating my thoughts, or about how people will judge my English? The moment you start worrying about the latter, you shift your focus from what you want to say to how you should say it. That is where the hesitation begins.
Remember, you don't have to speak perfect English to communicate confidently. You need to be clear, comfortable and willing to express yourself. Even people who speak English very fluently make grammatical mistakes, fumble for words and struggle to articulate their thoughts at times. It is perfectly normal!
So, what do you need to do?
Start speaking in English more often, even when you know your sentences may not be perfect. Don't rehearse every sentence in your mind before speaking. Allow yourself to think and speak at the same time. Initially, you may fumble, pause or use simpler words, but that is absolutely fine. Fluency comes with practice, not with the constant fear of making mistakes.
Make English a part of your everyday life. Speak to your colleagues in English, participate in conversations, share your opinions in meetings and practise expressing your thoughts aloud. Read aloud, listen to good English speakers and try summarising what you have read or heard in your own words. These small, consistent efforts will help you develop greater spontaneity and confidence.
And about using ChatGPT to frame your emails and messages — there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a tool to improve your communication. However, don't let the tool become a substitute for your own ability to think and express yourself. Try drafting your message first, and then use ChatGPT to refine it. Observe the changes, understand why they were made and gradually incorporate those learnings into your own communication.
As far as the new girl in your office is concerned, please don't allow her fluency to become a yardstick against which you Hi!!!
First of all, you need to understand that being fluent in English does not necessarily mean being a good communicator. Communication is about how effectively you express your thoughts, ideas and feelings, and not merely about the language you speak.
From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not that you don't know English, but that you have become conscious of your English. The more you worry about making grammatical mistakes or using the wrong words, the more you hold yourself back. And the more you hold yourself back, the less opportunity you give yourself to become fluent.
You really need to ask yourself this question: Am I more concerned about communicating my thoughts, or about how people will judge my English? The moment you start worrying about the latter, you shift your focus from what you want to say to how you should say it. That is where the hesitation begins.
Remember, you don't have to speak perfect English to communicate confidently. You need to be clear, comfortable and willing to express yourself. Even people who speak English very fluently make grammatical mistakes, fumble for words and struggle to articulate their thoughts at times. It is perfectly normal!
So, what do you need to do?
Start speaking in English more often, even when you know your sentences may not be perfect. Don't rehearse every sentence in your mind before speaking. Allow yourself to think and speak at the same time. Initially, you may fumble, pause or use simpler words, but that is absolutely fine. Fluency comes with practice, not with the constant fear of making mistakes.
Make English a part of your everyday life. Speak to your colleagues in English, participate in conversations, share your opinions in meetings and practise expressing your thoughts aloud. Read aloud, listen to good English speakers and try summarising what you have read or heard in your own words. These small, consistent efforts will help you develop greater spontaneity and confidence.
And about using ChatGPT to frame your emails and messages — there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a tool to improve your communication. However, don't let the tool become a substitute for your own ability to think and express yourself. Try drafting your message first, and then use ChatGPT to refine it. Observe the changes, understand why they were made and gradually incorporate those learnings into your own communication.
As far as the new girl in your office is concerned, please don't allow her fluency to become a yardstick against which you measure yourself. She may be more comfortable speaking English, but that does not make her more intelligent, more capable or a better professional than you. Everyone has a different background, different experiences and a different starting point.
Stop comparing, start practising and, most importantly, stop underestimating yourself.
You have already identified what you need to improve, and that is the first step towards change. Now, give yourself the opportunity to work on it without being overly critical of yourself.
Remember, the objective is not to impress people with your English. It is to express yourself with confidence, clarity and conviction.
When you stop trying to speak perfect English and start focusing on communicating effectively, you will gradually find your voice!

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I recently received feedback at work that I should be more assertive. The strange part is that I don’t consider myself shy - I speak when I have something to say and I’m quite comfortable with my colleagues. But the problem comes when I have a different opinion from someone senior. For example, last week during a team meeting, my manager suggested doing something in a particular way. I could clearly see one issue with the approach and had a different suggestion in mind, but when it was my turn to speak, I said something like, ‘Yes, that should be okay, maybe we can try it,’ instead of clearly explaining what I actually felt. Later, I discussed the same point with a colleague and realised I had actually been right about the concern, but by then the decision was already made. This happens with me quite often - I don’t want to sound argumentative or disrespectful, so I automatically soften my words and sometimes end up agreeing even when I genuinely have another opinion. How can I become more assertive in these situations, speak confidently to senior people and put forward a different viewpoint without coming across as rude, aggressive or overconfident?
Ans: Hi!!

*Being assertive does not mean being aggressive or disrespectful* It means expressing your thoughts and feelings confidently and respectfully!

If you hesitate to disagree, consider whether you fear judgment, offending the person, or challenging their authority! Identifying the cause can help you address it. Respecting someone’s position does not require agreeing with every opinion; your perspective may reveal something they have overlooked.

When you have a concern, pause, organise your thoughts, and state them clearly. For example: *“I understand your approach\. However, I have a concern we may want to consider before proceeding.”” You can be polite without being apologetic and respectful without being submissive.

Practise expressing your views in smaller situations. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but confidence will grow with experience.Trust your judgement and speak up when your input matters. You can disagree with someone without disrespecting them—that is true assertiveness!

Remember assertiveness is about respecting yourself and the other person equally! Understanding that you have as much right to express your opinion as the other person .

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |86 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2026
Relationship
I’m facing a small but recurring issue with my wife when it comes to money. I’m naturally more of a saving person—I like keeping some money aside for future expenses, emergencies, children’s needs and other things that may come up unexpectedly. My wife, on the other hand, feels that if we can comfortably afford something now, there is no point in always postponing it just to save more. It’s not that either of us is irresponsible with money, and thankfully we don’t have any major financial problems, but this difference in our thinking keeps coming up every few weeks. Sometimes it starts with something as simple as buying something for the house or planning a holiday and then turns into a discussion about our overall spending habits. I don’t want her to feel that I’m controlling how she spends her money, and at the same time, I don’t want to feel guilty for wanting to save. How can couples with very different financial habits find a middle ground and decide together how much to spend, save and keep aside for the future without making money become a regular source of tension in the marriage?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health. Coming to your question, financial management remains a little sensitive topic specially when both members are earning.
You both have different habits and different thinking in terms of financial management and I think both are correct. The only thing with which the things can be sorted out is that you both sit and discuss and mutually come to a specific percentage of income which should be saved and which should be kept aside for holidays or for home fund. This way you both will clearly know and then you will not have problem in spending or saving.
I hope this solves your problem.
All the best..take care !!

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |86 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2026
Relationship
I’m a little confused about how I should handle situations involving my husband and his parents. Whenever they have an argument or disagreement, I usually prefer to stay quiet because I feel that if I get involved, the situation could become even more complicated. I don’t want his parents to feel that I’m trying to create a distance between them, and I also don’t want to say something in the heat of the moment that I may regret later. But after the argument is over, my husband sometimes tells me that he expected me to support him because I’m his wife. From my point of view, supporting him doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with him or taking his side every time, especially when I don’t know the complete context of their disagreement. At the same time, I can understand why he may feel hurt if he thinks I’m simply standing by and watching when he needs me. How should to handle these situations when disagreements with in-laws keep creating tension in the marriage? Is there a healthy way for a spouse to show support without automatically taking sides or disrespecting the other family members?
Ans: Hello mam. I hope you are in good health.
Well, coming to your question, you can definitely take your partner's side by understanding the things on which the disagreements happen. For example you disagree with your partner at a specific point of time, in public you should try to calm the situation and take his side if possible but after that in private you can share your opinion and correct him if he is wrong somewhere. This way he ll feel that yes you support him but on the other hand he ll also realize that where he went wrong. Probably the situations will get better with this.
I really appreciate your nature that you don't want to disrespect other family members. Its very good and shows your upbringing and your intent of maintaining relationships.
Keep it up...take care !!

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11482 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2026

Money
Hi ..I have registered a app called finsolalgo They told I got allocation for ipo which I kept 1 lac prev but they asked I need to pay 6lac ...which I couldn't pay...now they blocked my one lac saying as I didn't pay full allocation my amount blocked for 3 months but am not getting fater 3 months who will release my funds and all am feeling bad to believe them...now wat should I do ...finsolalgo is this company registered with sebi when I asked they told s we registered we have ruled and regulations ...that's y blocked like that ..wat should I do now
Ans: It is good that you have stopped and are checking this before paying another Rs.6 lakh.

Based on what you have described, I would be very cautious. The process you were told about does not look like the normal IPO application process.

» How a genuine IPO application normally works

In a normal IPO, the application money is blocked in your own bank account through ASBA or an approved UPI mandate.

If shares are allotted, the required amount is debited.

The remaining blocked amount is released after the allotment process. SEBI describes this process clearly.

A company or app normally cannot simply say:

– You paid Rs.1 lakh.

– You received an allocation of Rs.7 lakh.

– You must arrange another Rs.6 lakh.

– Otherwise your original Rs.1 lakh will remain blocked for 3 months.

That is a major point requiring verification.

» About the Rs.1 lakh being blocked

First check where exactly the Rs.1 lakh is blocked.

If it is genuinely blocked in your own bank account under an IPO ASBA/UPI mandate, contact your bank immediately and ask:

– Who has placed the mandate?

– What is the IPO name?

– Who is the sponsor bank?

– What is the application number?

– What is the registrar's name?

– What is the UPI mandate reference?

Do not depend only on what the FinsolAlgo app or its representatives are telling you.

If the money was actually transferred to a bank account controlled by the app/company/person, the situation is more serious. Do not send the additional Rs.6 lakh merely to release the earlier Rs.1 lakh.

» Is FinsolAlgo SEBI registered?

I checked the SEBI recognised-intermediary information available currently.

I could not verify a SEBI registration under the name "FinsolAlgo" from the information available to me.

This does not by itself prove that the entity is fraudulent. The legal entity name may be different from the app or trade name.

So ask them for:

– Exact legal company name.

– SEBI registration number.

– Category of SEBI registration.

– Registered office address.

– Name of the stock broker/intermediary handling the IPO application.

Then independently verify these details on SEBI's recognised intermediary records. SEBI maintains a searchable list of registered intermediaries.

Do not accept a statement such as "we are SEBI registered and we have our own rules" as proof.

» What you should do now

I would suggest these steps in this order:

– Do NOT pay the additional Rs.6 lakh.

– Do NOT pay any "release fee", "penalty", "tax", "processing charge" or similar amount.

– Do NOT share your OTP, UPI PIN, bank password or other banking credentials.

– Take screenshots of the entire conversation with FinsolAlgo.

– Save the payment receipt for the Rs.1 lakh.

– Save the IPO allocation message and all documents they provided.

– Contact your bank directly through its official customer-care channel.

– Ask the bank whether there is actually an IPO-related ASBA/UPI block on your Rs.1 lakh.

– If the bank confirms that no genuine IPO mandate exists, immediately inform the bank that you suspect an unauthorised or potentially fraudulent transaction.

– If money has already gone to another bank account, inform your bank immediately and ask about the appropriate fraud-reporting process.

» Do not wait for three months

I would not simply wait for three months based on their verbal assurance.

If this is a genuine IPO, there should be proper documentation and an identifiable IPO process.

There should also be a recognised intermediary, sponsor bank, registrar and application details.

The normal IPO process does not depend merely on an app telling you that your money will be released after three months. SEBI's own explanation says that funds are blocked for the IPO process and are subsequently debited or unblocked based on allotment.

» My assessment

The requirement to arrange another Rs.6 lakh after supposedly getting a Rs.7 lakh allocation is the biggest concern here.

Please do not try to recover the Rs.1 lakh by paying another Rs.6 lakh.

That can increase your exposure substantially.

Your immediate priority should be to establish where the Rs.1 lakh actually sits and whether there is a genuine IPO mandate.

If you share the exact message received from FinsolAlgo about the Rs.7 lakh allocation and the Rs.6 lakh payment, I can examine the wording and tell you which parts look normal and which parts are red flags.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |3317 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Oct 08, 2026

Career
I am a student and NEET aspirant. I appeared for Class 10 in 2024 and passed Class 10 in 2024. I completed and passed Class 12 in 2026. I also appeared for NEET (UG) 2026, including the re-examination, but unfortunately I could not qualify for admission. My Class 12 marks are relatively low, although I have successfully passed Class 12 in 2026. Therefore, I am considering appearing for the Class 12 Improvement Examination in 2027 to improve my marks. I would like to kindly ask for clarification regarding the following: Since I have already passed Class 12 in 2026, am I eligible to appear for the Class 12 Improvement Examination in 2027? If I improve my Class 12 marks in 2027, will I remain eligible to appear for NEET (UG) 2027? Will appearing for the Class 12 Improvement Examination in 2027 create any issue during NEET counselling or MBBS admission if I qualify NEET 2027? Will my one-year gap after Class 12 (2026–2027), due to preparing for NEET, cause any problem in NEET eligibility or during MBBS admission? If improvement is permitted, which Class 12 marks/marksheet would be considered for NEET 2027 eligibility and admission?
Ans: HI ALAM,
GREETINGS FROM THE REDIFFGURUS!
The Advantages of NEET:

* NO UPPER AGE LIMIT
* UNLIMITED ATTEMPTS for HSC
* UNLIMITED ATTEMPTS FOR NEET
* A MINIMUM AGGREGATE PERCENTAGE OF 50% (varying by category) IS SUFFICIENT TO QUALIFY FOR NEET (except for AIIMS)
* ASPIRANTS CAN PRESENT DIFFERENT BOARD EXAM MARK SHEETS.

Due to these factors, the number of NEET aspirants is higher compared to other exams.

If you have the required marks to appear for NEET, you can proceed with your preparation. As you mentioned that your HSC marks are low (specifics not disclosed), focus on strengthening your weak subjects to help you achieve your goal. Simply aiming for improvement is not enough; you need to make significant progress.

You are planning to take the improvement exam for your marks. While preparing for this, it is essential to enhance your understanding of the subjects that are also relevant for NEET. There is a possibility that you might achieve the same level of marks you previously obtained in HSC if you do not make substantial improvements. Therefore, concentrate on honing the subjects necessary for NEET as well.

BEST WISHES.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x