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Fed Up with Demanding Mother-in-Law: How to Cope?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Problem with my mother in law and her demanding behaviour in everything i used to do.. Even if i go with my husband.. She demanding me to tell where are you going.. Everything backbithches about me n my family when i was not in home to my husband He used to tell me after that... And i completely fed up... Why is she doing like this? They always make me to do work... Even her daughters are sitting peacefully with their phones.. Recently i addressed all these through my family to them... Now its became a big problem... That i told to my parents... They are blaming me now.. On this reason.. My husband supports them What to do now

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Fight your own battles; involving your family has become a family to family issue now...
Let's imagine for a moment that it's a friend's daughter who is close to you is facing the exact same thing; what would you tell her? What can she do to reclaim her rightful place among people who act selfish?
I am sure you will ask her to find her confidence within herself, right? Then, do just that...

Be clear on what duties of the house you can take on and do just that. Also, if you are a homemaker, do find time for yourself to do things that have a lot of meaning and value to you. Classes and courses that involve you stepping out of home will give a clear signal to the members back at home that they will have to pitch in and nit expect to put everything on you. Less complaints and more action in the direction of what you ultimately want. Don't ask: Why is she doing like this? You will never get an answer to this! Instead, ask: What can I do to lessen my burden and feel better?

Changing people is almost impossible, but changing the way you think and do things is always in your hands...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years. Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.My in-laws are not very friendly people.After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house. My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well. I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work. My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing. In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.Please provide your valuable suggestions.
Ans:

Dear SN,

Hasn’t the lockdown ended for a while now?

Why are you still with them?

What was the initial reason of moving in with them?

Does that reason still exist?

Being part of a joint/extended family system isn’t a cake walk; each person is unique and so are their thoughts and experiences and they will want the other person to live by their experiences and rules. But of course, an emotionally mature person would believe in giving space for another person grow and evolve and swim around the family dynamics. Well, it isn't the case here.

Why don’t you drop down a pros and cons list for When I move out and for When I stay here.

Weigh it down to its granular detail. Also, try and figure out why your husband is so against talking to them.

Sometimes, it maybe a minor adjustment that everyone needs to go through, but our movies and sitcoms have done enough damage to our minds where the drama looks never ending and where one party is to blame. Usually, the adjustment has to happen from both ends.

Bring this to a place where everyone gains, and everyone is happy. Maybe moving out is an option that you seek but will this go well with your husband and remember, he might do this for you, and in the long run in might end up blaming you for it. It’s complicated.

So, take time and work on the pros and cons, why your husband is against talking to them about this and also ask yourself: Have I done everything that I can to live joyfully under one roof?
You will have a path to your solution soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Hi Anu...i hv been reading ur expertise to solve the issues of people and am really impressed. We have been married for 19years now and have a son and daughter .From the start of the marriage my wife have been inclined towards her mother and her family paying less or no heed to us. Circumstances were also favorable to her and she always got the opportunity to stay close and visit her parents often which i did not mind.We lived in Mumbai and she is from Chennai.After marriage my mom-in-law used to continuosly interfere into our lives by calling her and she used to act as per her suggestions only which led to problems as she was a puppet in the hands of my Mom-in-law. Moreover since my mom-in-law was not in good health my wife tried not to over rule as she did not want her mom to feel sick as she doesnt like to be over ruled or by pass failing which she goes on hunger strike and stop taking tablets spoiling her own health. Due to this reason everybody has been appeasing her.Initially i thought to ignore but slowly it started to affect my family as well as my wife started to see things thru my mom-in-laws perspective and find faults in everything. We shifted to overseas to stay away from all these and we really had a good life for 10 years there but since i lost job during covid i had to shift base to India for my son's education but she chose to stay back there with my daughter as she is working there.I too felt that let her spend some time so that i could settle things in India and call her but it is more than 2 years now and she refuses to come back and dont even care for us and neither call us as family. I tried to involve my in-laws to convince her but they are also playing a diplomatic game and doesnt want to go against their daughter's wish.Due to this attitude of my mom-in-law their own daughter-in-laws have been staying away and since my in-laws stay alone my wife feels that she is the only support system for her parents but it has come on my life's sacrifice. She has been ignoring us and even i kept moving for the sake of my family and children instead of respecting my feelings she has become more adamant now.Her brother is also seperated from her wife and he also looks forward for a support system from my daughter and my wife and they seem close ignoring myself and my son.We have been trying to convince her thru all means but she is caring. Even i feel that it is futile to force someone into relationship but she unknowingly spoiling my family and deprieve my son the mother;s love and also depreive my daughter from affection and love.Due to this my son has also stopped expecting from her and my daughter treats me as a stranger due to long distance. Pls suggest the way forward. Shud i wait for things to improve or leave as it is.I am 47 now and she is 45..told her that let us enjoy the best things in life rather than regretting later but she does not understand.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Logic does not appeal to your wife!
What can you do with someone who is adamant about ruining her own family life? It's purely clouded judgement on her part on what to do and not!
With more people dependent on your wife for support, she has found a way of moving even more away from you...what I do not understand is: how is she able to do that to your son?

Either the two of you talk this out and take firm decisions OR accept that this is how it's going to be...sooner or later, she will realize what is happening and will become more aware of her priorities. But, being where you are is painful and it will stress you even more...So, find a way to talk things out is a step that you can take NOW!

Impress upon her as to how important it is keep the family together as a unit for the children to grow in a healthy manner and also how much this time investment will help the two of you as a couple.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am a working independant women staying with in laws. My mother in law is a narcissist. She used to boast about herself, her son, relatives anytime. I was fed up hearing all these...she wants to keep everything and everyone under her control. I used to tell my husband regarding his mom's behaviour.. He knew about his mom's behaviour from before. He supported me and told me to confront mom and tell her directly that i dont like her behaviour.. But i was afraid.. Because she will never acknowledge her mistake.. My husband and his mom had frequent fight regarding other reasons( like way she talks, controlling behavior) but she never changed her behavior.. One day my husband told her everything what i told him about her.. The way she has been treating me... She got super angry...said many bad words to me..We left the house and rented a apartment.. Still now she is angry.. Blaming me for everything.. For taking her son away.. Now what to do??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Will you accept it gracefully if someone comes to you and on your face says that he/she does not like your behavior?
The way to settle differences in relationships is not confrontation but with a lot of strategic patience and grace; both of which were not displayed while dealing with your mother-in-law. Okay, maybe she is a difficult person to be with, but how has it helped now by your husband playing your spokesperson? It has only made matters worse for you.
What is done cannot be undone...
Wait for her anger to settle down and then approach the matter with butter fingers. Ultimately, she's your husband's mother and hence will always be a part of your life...
Remember to work around constraints and not with them...when you skirt around, you will find many alternate ways of solving a problem and when you confront, you hit egos and then will act irrationally. Wait and when the time is right, be assertive in how you want the relationship to be. Kindly do not use your husband to sort your troubles; it will go downhill yet again...It's your relationship with your mother-in-law, work on it yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 31 years old.. married for one and a half year, it was an arranged marriage, when my father came he was well and clear that my daughter studies or works for long hours she don’t like household chores but she earns well so can pay for help.. that time my mother in law was all happy and said I will help her, she’ll be like my child and all that... my husband also used to assure me that you will be treated really well, if you are working no body gonna point out, we are very modern. My mother in law is very modern she used to wear jeans and shorts and her Devrani lived in ghunghat... My mother in law hates everyone in her family, devarani, jethani, nanad, her own late mother in law father in law, her own mother, father, brothers, sisters, their spouses, their children... everyone. Yet my husband doesn’t understand she is doing wrong, I come from a big family... people fight and next day come back together... here it’s very very hard to survive in this negativity. Once I went home, because here I wasn’t getting enough time to study due to household chores... then behind me she created scenes telling .. your wife has disrespected me, didn’t eat anything for 15-20 days then my husband got angry on me... we fought and he blocked me, no contact between us for months. My parents came once to talk but she was too loud and insulting that they got sure we are NOT sending back our daughter to such house. Then our relatives interfered, sat together and found out there was no major problem everybody laughed.. saying we are not able to find any issue, but my mother in law still kept on complaining for continuously 4 hours... she was all negative.. I can back home, I know all I have to do is ignore her rest everything is okay to live by.. But I have lost trust on my husband,I know if he left me once, he can leave me again....living here is very difficult with all the hate, nobody comes to house for dinners.. it’s alone and hateful. I don’t say anything because that will only elevate the problem. It’s hell living here.. they all sit together and talk and when I go everyone shuts.. although I don’t care what that are talking about, I don’t give a rat’s ass even if they’re bitching about me. It’s just all negative and I wanna run away from here.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is your question for me here?
I have got the point that there is a lot of hate and negativity at your in-laws place and that it is far different from how you were raised. Also, that your husband blindly sides with his mother bothers you. But I will try and put things in perspective and make suggestions here.

Now, understand that certain families are the way that they are and unfortunately you have come into a place where people are isolated from one another and talk behind each other's backs.
Are you in a position to change all of this especially when you have realized that your husband isn't someone who is on your side?
So, when you can't change something, the only way to get through all of this peacefully is to accept it. But, that is the things that you are struggling with already and yes, it is understandable from your point of view.
Have an honest conversation with your husband; I am sure he is interested in making his marriage work too. That's the first step to actually make him aware that all this is affecting you.
Let's say, he is not bothered by it all and continues to go about all of this without realizing that he has a wife and he is also responsible towards the marriage, try and suggest getting to a professional (But do realize that the professional will not be able to change the way your husband's home functions). This is only getting the bond between you and your husband stronger so that you can be on the same side weathering the environment around you.
Now, if he refuses this intervention...then the onus is on you...what and how you see your life is totally a choice that you must make.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
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I need advice from anyone here. I am 34 years old woman and married. I have 10 year old daughter. I am also working in MNC.I got married 12 years back. I am seeing lot of challenges in my home. I am living with my in laws from the day one. They were lot of issues going on from the starting. I faced lot of issue during my pregnancy due to this. Here giving just an example, My MIL condition is I was not allowed to drink milk more than one small glass for a day and allowed to eat rice only one rice spatula for afternoon and night, no veggies and no fruits during pregnancy. Due to this My health got deteriorated and I had gone through surgery in my 6th month and was in bed rest till the delivery. My FIL used to bring some fruits to me, and she scolded him very badly. After that he stopped to bring anything. Like this lot of things keep on happening till date. She doesn't allow me to cook, and she only prepare lunch. Tells everyone in the family and neighbourhood that I won't cook. Lot of times I asked her I will cook. She says she doesn’t like if others cook. So, she allows me to chop the veggies or grating coconut like that. She gives very less amount of food for my daughter. sometimes even my daughter is hungry, she scolds her saying don't eat too much. For 10 years old kid, she weighs 24. To her school lunch bag and snacks, I fought with my MIL and prepare food for her box and give. She eats happily. Sometimes my husband and myself tried to tell her and she goes on like I changed her son and He doesn't love her anymore because of me etc., Now a days, I feel relationship between my husband and me is going down. He only listens to her. Sometimes my MIL scolds my daughter unnecessarily Infront of my husband and he we will scold my daughter for this again. Due to this, my husband and my daughter relationship is also getting worst. He keeps on scolding her, My daughter is average in her academics, she doesn't study properly after coming home due to lot distractions and mood swings at home. One more reason is TV. At home My MIL watches the TV from the morning. We are not allowed to watch but that’s ok I don’t have time for that anyway. While my daughter is studying in the evening, my MIL watches some serials. My daughter's whole concentration is on the voices coming from TV. She will keep on getting distracted and make excuses for something to watch TV like drinking water,etc. We tried to tell my MIL, but it didn’t go well. Most of the times, I feel like me and my daughter are outsiders and whatever we do they doesn't like it. I like to pray by singing one song at least once a day. She doesn't like it. Whatever food I prepare to my daughter my MIL complains it to my husband as junk. I normally prepare her rice with lot of veggies, parathas with veggies and sandwich. After I started preparing these, my daughter started eating veggies, otherwise there was big no from her. I don't know how to handle all those things . Also recently during Dusshera, due to one of the situation like this, my husband is not talking properly with me and my daughter. I am an introvert, and I don’t have any friends. I don’t know with whom to seek advice.
Ans: Twelve years of this? You’re a financially independent, capable woman. Why in God’s name are you tolerating this absurd woman and her absolute BS? Move out. NOW. If your husband has any sense, he’ll join you. If not, let him live under his mother’s skirt for the rest of his life, but don’t destroy your own any more than you already have. Take your daughter and LEAVE!

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10901 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi Vivek, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have built strong foundations early.
Many people reach forty without such assets.
You already reduced major future stress.
That itself gives you an advantage.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 43 years old.
– You work in a private organisation.
– You own your house fully.
– You have no loans.
– This gives financial stability.

– Retirement focused savings already exist.
– Long term instruments form your base.
– Your money is spread across safety products.
– Liquidity is limited but acceptable.
– Growth exposure needs attention.

» Existing Investment Review
– Retirement related savings are meaningful.
– Mandatory savings have helped discipline.
– These instruments protect capital well.
– However growth potential is limited.
– Inflation risk exists over long periods.

– These assets suit long term security.
– They suit retirement stability well.
– They are not designed for high growth.
– Child goals need higher growth.
– Marriage expenses need liquidity planning.

» Child Education Time Horizon
– Your child is in 11th Science.
– Higher education expenses are near.
– Time available is limited.
– Risk capacity is lower here.
– Planning must be conservative.

– Education costs grow faster than inflation.
– Professional courses cost significantly more.
– Overseas options cost even higher.
– Partial funding support is important.
– Loans should be minimised.

» Child Marriage Planning Window
– Marriage expenses are medium term.
– You still have some time.
– Cultural expectations increase costs.
– Planning early reduces stress.
– This goal needs balance.

– Too much risk can hurt plans.
– Too little growth causes shortfall.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual shift towards safety helps.
– Liquidity must be ensured.

» Retirement Planning Horizon
– Retirement is long term.
– You have nearly two decades.
– This allows growth oriented approach.
– Inflation is biggest risk here.
– Passive savings alone will not suffice.

– Retirement expenses last many years.
– Healthcare costs rise sharply later.
– Regular income post retirement matters.
– Corpus must be inflation protected.
– Growth assets become essential.

» Understanding Rs 80 Lac Requirement
– Rs 80 Lac is a combined target.
– All goals have different timelines.
– One strategy will not suit all.
– Segmentation is essential.
– This avoids misallocation.

– Education needs immediate planning.
– Marriage needs medium planning.
– Retirement needs long term planning.
– Each goal must be ring-fenced.
– Mixing goals creates confusion.

» Asset Allocation Importance
– Asset allocation drives outcomes.
– Not product selection alone.
– Time horizon decides allocation.
– Risk appetite decides allocation.
– Discipline maintains allocation.

– Safety instruments protect capital.
– Growth instruments fight inflation.
– Balance avoids emotional mistakes.
– Rebalancing keeps strategy aligned.
– This is a continuous process.

» Role Of Equity Exposure
– Equity creates long term wealth.
– Equity is volatile short term.
– Time reduces equity risk.
– Retirement horizon suits equity.
– Education horizon needs limited equity.

– Selective equity exposure is essential.
– Quality matters more than quantity.
– Active management adds value.
– Market cycles require judgment.
– Discipline ensures success.

» Why Not Depend Only On Safe Instruments
– Safe instruments give predictable returns.
– They struggle to beat inflation.
– Purchasing power erodes slowly.
– Long term goals suffer silently.
– Growth becomes insufficient.

– Your current assets are safety heavy.
– Growth allocation needs improvement.
– This change should be gradual.
– Sudden shifts create stress.
– Planned transition works better.

» Education Goal Strategy
– Use conservative growth approach.
– Capital protection is priority.
– Avoid aggressive exposure now.
– Phased investing works best.
– Gradual de-risking is necessary.

– Education funding should be ready.
– Avoid dependency on future income.
– Avoid last minute borrowing.
– Keep funds accessible.
– Liquidity is key.

» Marriage Goal Strategy
– Marriage expenses are emotional.
– Costs are difficult to predict.
– Planning gives confidence.
– Balanced approach is ideal.
– Growth plus safety mix works.

– Start allocating gradually.
– Increase safety closer to event.
– Avoid locking money long term.
– Keep flexibility.
– Avoid speculation.

» Retirement Goal Strategy
– Retirement planning needs growth focus.
– Inflation is the silent enemy.
– Long horizon allows equity.
– Volatility should be accepted.
– Discipline ensures compounding.

– Retirement corpus must grow faster.
– Contributions should increase with income.
– Lifestyle expectations must be realistic.
– Healthcare buffer is essential.
– Regular review is necessary.

» Role Of Active Funds
– Markets do not move uniformly.
– Sectors rotate frequently.
– Index funds stay static.
– They reflect index weaknesses.
– Active funds adapt better.

– Active managers adjust allocations.
– They reduce exposure in weak sectors.
– They increase exposure in growth areas.
– This helps during volatility.
– Especially for long term goals.

» Why Avoid Index Based Approach
– Index funds mirror market direction.
– They cannot protect downside.
– They remain exposed during corrections.
– Investors feel helpless.
– Returns stay average.

– Active strategies aim to outperform.
– They manage risk dynamically.
– They suit Indian market inefficiencies.
– Skilled management adds value.
– This matters over decades.

» Regular Investing Route Benefits
– Regular route offers guidance.
– Behaviour management is critical.
– Panic decisions destroy returns.
– Professional handholding matters.
– Especially during volatile phases.

– Certified Financial Planner helps discipline.
– Goal tracking becomes structured.
– Portfolio review becomes systematic.
– Emotional bias reduces.
– Long term success improves.

» Liquidity Planning
– Emergency funds are essential.
– You currently have limited liquidity.
– One year expenses should be accessible.
– This avoids distress selling.
– It protects long term investments.

– Emergency planning gives peace.
– Unexpected events do not derail plans.
– This should be built gradually.
– Avoid using retirement savings.
– Keep it separate.

» Insurance As Risk Management
– Insurance protects your plan.
– It is not an investment.
– Adequate life cover is essential.
– Health cover avoids financial shock.
– Premiums are necessary expenses.

– Delaying insurance increases risk.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Employer cover is insufficient.
– Family protection is priority.
– This secures your goals.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Tax planning should support goals.
– Avoid tax driven decisions alone.
– Post tax returns matter.
– Simplicity reduces mistakes.
– Compliance avoids future stress.

– Long term equity taxation is favourable.
– Short term churn increases tax.
– Stability helps efficiency.
– Avoid frequent switching.
– Stay disciplined.

» Monitoring And Review Process
– Plans are not static.
– Life changes require adjustment.
– Income growth allows higher contribution.
– Goals may change.
– Reviews keep relevance.

– Annual review is sufficient.
– Avoid daily market tracking.
– Focus on progress.
– Ignore noise.
– Stick to strategy.

» Behavioural Discipline
– Emotions affect investment outcomes.
– Fear causes premature exit.
– Greed causes overexposure.
– Discipline balances both.
– Guidance helps immensely.

– Long term wealth needs patience.
– Short term market moves mislead.
– Consistency beats timing.
– Process beats prediction.
– Stay calm.

» Aligning Goals With Reality
– Rs 80 Lac goal is achievable.
– Planning must be realistic.
– Income growth will support it.
– Lifestyle control helps savings.
– Early planning reduces pressure.

– You already started well.
– Course correction is timely.
– Delay would increase burden.
– Action now simplifies future.
– Confidence improves.

» Family Communication
– Discuss goals with family.
– Shared understanding reduces conflict.
– Expectations become realistic.
– Decisions gain support.
– Stress reduces significantly.

– Financial planning is family planning.
– Transparency builds trust.
– It improves discipline.
– Everyone works towards goals.
– Harmony improves.

» Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
– Risk capacity is strong for retirement.
– Risk appetite may vary emotionally.
– Planning must respect both.
– Overexposure creates anxiety.
– Underexposure creates regret.

– Balance is the answer.
– Gradual allocation changes work best.
– Avoid extreme decisions.
– Stay flexible.
– Stay focused.

» Final Insights
– You have built a strong base.
– Assets are safe but growth limited.
– Goals need segmented planning.
– Education needs conservative strategy.
– Marriage needs balanced approach.
– Retirement needs growth focus.
– Active management adds value.
– Regular guidance supports discipline.
– Insurance protects the plan.
– Liquidity avoids stress.
– Review keeps alignment.
– Patience creates results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |429 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Purshotam

Purshotam Lal  |68 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hellow Purshotam Sir, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Good Morning dear. Your portfolio is invested in high growth stocks but with a much higher risk. But since it is invested for around 8 years now and still 10 years more you look forward to continue investments, it is fairly a long and desirable period to keep monies in Equity mutual funds. Funds selection is good and you are likely to build a corpus of Rs 2.5 Crore at your Age 58. Only suggestion to you is that you may switch your entire portfolio in 3 parts using bucket strategies before 2 years of your Age 58. One part you should switch to conservative hybrid MF for drawing annuities or SWP (Systematic Withdrawals @ 5 or 6% pa for first 5 years), Second and 3rd part of your corpus you should allocate to Aggressive hybrid mutual funds and Growth Mutual Funds for 8 Years and more respectively. Also at your age 61, 66, 71 likewise switch part of your corpus from Equity MF schemes to conservative hybrid MF schemes for further annuities. Good luck and all the best. If you need guidance please contact a good and certified financial planner or certified financial advisor.

Purshotam, CFP®, MBA, CAIIB, FIII
Certified Financial Planner
Insurance advisor
www.finphoenixinvest.com

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10901 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Your honesty and clarity deserve appreciation.
You have explained everything openly.
That itself shows responsibility and courage.
Your concern for family security is clear.
This situation is stressful but not hopeless.

» Current Financial Snapshot
– You are 32 years old.
– Married with a young daughter.
– Family income is Rs 86,000 monthly.
– Total EMIs exceed total income.
– Monthly deficit exists every month.

» Debt Position Reality
– Total loans exceed Rs 52 lakhs.
– Multiple banks and lenders involved.
– Average interest is very high.
– Private lender interest is dangerous.
– Gold loan exposure is large.

» Cash Flow Mismatch
– Monthly EMIs are around Rs 1 lakh.
– Monthly income is only Rs 86,000.
– Father supports household expenses.
– Still a monthly shortage exists.
– This gap is unsustainable long term.

» Interest Drain Assessment
– Around Rs 50,000 goes as interest monthly.
– Interest gives zero future benefit.
– Half your income is lost to interest.
– This is the core problem.
– Capital is not reducing meaningfully.

» Gold Purchase Thought Analysis
– Fear of rising gold prices is natural.
– Emotional thinking is influencing decisions.
– Buying gold using loans is risky.
– Pledging gold increases debt cycle.
– This strategy already created stress earlier.

» Gold Loan Trap Explanation
– Buying gold using borrowed money is leverage.
– Leverage increases risk in personal finance.
– Gold does not generate income.
– Loan interest keeps accumulating.
– Emotional comfort hides financial damage.

» Clear Answer on Gold Buying
– Do not buy more gold now.
– Do not take fresh loans for gold.
– This will worsen debt burden.
– Price rise fear should be ignored.
– Survival is more important than assets.

» Priority Reset Required
– Debt freedom comes before investments.
– Cash flow stability comes before wealth.
– Insurance comes before gold.
– Family safety comes before emotions.
– Discipline is needed now.

» Private Lender Loan Danger
– 18 percent interest is destructive.
– This loan must be closed first.
– It gives no flexibility.
– It increases stress constantly.
– It affects mental health also.

» Strategy for Private Loan
– Use any possible support to close it.
– Ask family help if possible.
– Sell unused items if required.
– Temporary embarrassment is better than long stress.
– Closing this gives immediate relief.

» Gold Loan Strategy
– Do not increase gold loan amount.
– Avoid rollover behaviour.
– Use bonuses or gifts to reduce principal.
– Do not top up gold loans.
– Reduce dependency gradually.

» Bank Loan Lock Period Reality
– You cannot restructure for one year.
– This period must be survived carefully.
– No new liabilities should be added.
– Expenses must stay minimal.
– Emotional spending must stop.

» Expense Control Measures
– Track every rupee monthly.
– Avoid eating outside.
– Avoid subscriptions and upgrades.
– Delay lifestyle expenses fully.
– Treat this as recovery phase.

» Role of Father’s Support
– Parental support is a blessing.
– Use this support wisely.
– Do not misuse the relief.
– Focus on debt reduction.
– This support is temporary.

» SIP Investment Assessment
– SIP of Rs 2,000 is symbolic.
– It gives psychological comfort only.
– It does not change financial position.
– Debt interest is much higher.
– Pause SIP temporarily if needed.

» Investment Versus Debt Reality
– Paying debt gives guaranteed returns.
– Interest saved equals investment gain.
– No mutual fund can beat 18 percent interest.
– Debt repayment is priority investment now.
– Wealth creation starts after stability.

» Insurance Hesitation Reality
– Term insurance is not optional.
– Health insurance is essential.
– One medical emergency will destroy finances.
– Insurance prevents future debt.
– Low premium options exist.

» Insurance Action Plan
– Take basic term insurance immediately.
– Take basic family health insurance.
– Choose lowest premium coverage.
– Avoid investment linked policies.
– Protection matters more than returns.

» Child Responsibility Perspective
– Your daughter depends fully on you.
– Her education needs future planning.
– But first ensure family survival.
– Debt stress affects parenting quality.
– Stability helps emotional health.

» Psychological Pressure Management
– Fear is driving wrong decisions.
– Gold fear is emotional.
– Loan fear is real.
– Focus on controllable actions.
– Ignore market noise completely.

» What Not To Do Now
– Do not take new loans.
– Do not buy gold or silver.
– Do not lend money to anyone.
– Do not chase investments.
– Do not hide problems.

» What To Do Immediately
– List all loans clearly.
– Mark highest interest loans.
– Target private lender loan first.
– Reduce any discretionary spending.
– Communicate with family honestly.

» One Year Survival Plan
– Focus on EMI discipline.
– Avoid defaults at all costs.
– Build small emergency buffer slowly.
– Accept temporary discomfort.
– One year will change options.

» After One Year Options
– Approach banks for restructuring.
– Request tenure extension.
– Reduce EMI burden.
– Consolidate loans if possible.
– Negotiate interest rates.

» Long Term Recovery Vision
– Debt free life is possible.
– Income will increase with experience.
– Expenses will stabilise.
– This phase will pass.
– Discipline will shape your future.

» Emotional Bond With Gold
– Gold feels like safety.
– But debt is unsafe.
– True security is cash flow.
– True wealth is peace.
– True protection is insurance.

» Family Communication Importance
– Discuss openly with your wife.
– Take joint decisions.
– Avoid blame or guilt.
– Team effort reduces stress.
– You are partners.

» Self Worth Reminder
– Debt does not define character.
– Mistakes happen in life.
– Learning matters more.
– You are responsible and aware.
– That is strength.

» Final Insights
– Do not buy gold now.
– Do not take new loans.
– Focus fully on debt reduction.
– Close private lender loan first.
– Take basic term and health insurance.
– Pause investments if required.
– Control expenses strictly.
– Survive one year patiently.
– Stability will return gradually.
– Your situation is difficult but solvable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10901 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
FINANANCE MINISTER SAYS INDIAN ECONMY IS WELL DEVELOPMENT, EVEN GDP ASLO GROW, THEN WHY SENSEX AND NIFTY NOT INCREASE LAST 15 MONTH?
Ans: Your question shows awareness and maturity.
Many investors think the same way.
Your doubt is valid and practical.
Markets confuse even experienced people.
Let us understand this calmly.

» Economy Growth And Market Movement
– Economy and stock markets are different.
– GDP measures production and services.
– Stock markets measure company profits.
– Both move on different timelines.
– Both react to different triggers.

» What GDP Growth Really Means
– GDP shows overall economic activity.
– It includes government spending.
– It includes consumption and exports.
– It includes informal sectors also.
– Stock markets do not track all these.

» Stock Markets Track Corporate Earnings
– Markets look at listed company profits.
– Only limited companies are listed.
– Many growing sectors are unlisted.
– GDP growth may not reach listed firms.
– Hence market movement differs.

» Timing Difference Between GDP And Markets
– GDP is backward looking data.
– It shows past quarter performance.
– Markets are forward looking.
– Markets price future expectations.
– Expectations may already be priced.

» Valuations Were Already High
– Markets rallied strongly earlier.
– Many stocks became expensive.
– High valuation limits future returns.
– Good news was already discounted.
– Hence sideways movement happened.

» Interest Rates Impact Markets
– Global interest rates increased sharply.
– Higher rates reduce company profits.
– Borrowing becomes costly for businesses.
– Investors prefer safer instruments.
– Equity demand reduces temporarily.

» Global Factors Affect Indian Markets
– Indian markets are not isolated.
– Global fund flows matter.
– Foreign investors moved money out.
– Global uncertainty affects sentiments.
– Markets respond instantly to this.

» Inflation Pressure On Companies
– Inflation increased input costs.
– Raw material prices rose.
– Profit margins got squeezed.
– Revenue growth did not convert to profits.
– Markets react to profit margins.

» Consumption Growth Is Uneven
– Rural demand stayed weak.
– Urban demand was selective.
– Not all sectors benefited equally.
– Some companies struggled to grow.
– Index reflects this mixed picture.

» Government Spending Versus Private Profits
– GDP growth had government support.
– Infrastructure spending boosted numbers.
– Private companies may not benefit immediately.
– Profits lag behind spending.
– Markets wait for confirmation.

» Index Structure Matters
– Sensex and Nifty have limited stocks.
– Heavy weight stocks dominate movement.
– If few large stocks stagnate, index stagnates.
– Many small companies may still grow.
– Index hides internal action.

» Banking And Financial Sector Impact
– Banks carry heavy index weight.
– Credit growth faced challenges.
– Asset quality concerns existed.
– Margin pressure impacted profitability.
– Index movement slowed due to banks.

» IT Sector Headwinds
– IT stocks faced global slowdown.
– Clients reduced technology spending.
– Currency movement affected margins.
– IT has large index weight.
– This dragged overall indices.

» Manufacturing Growth Reality
– Manufacturing growth was uneven.
– Some sectors grew well.
– Others faced cost pressure.
– Capacity utilisation stayed moderate.
– Markets waited for consistency.

» Earnings Growth Matters Most
– Markets follow earnings growth closely.
– GDP growth without earnings disappoints markets.
– Revenue growth alone is insufficient.
– Profit growth must be visible.
– That takes time.

» Political And Policy Expectations
– Markets price policy expectations early.
– When policies are stable, surprise reduces.
– Stability is good for economy.
– But markets need surprises.
– Lack of surprises causes sideways movement.

» Liquidity Cycle Impact
– Liquidity drives market momentum.
– Central banks tightened liquidity.
– Easy money phase ended.
– Markets adjusted to new reality.
– This caused consolidation.

» Retail Investor Behaviour
– Retail participation increased strongly.
– Many investors entered at high levels.
– Markets need digestion time.
– Excess optimism cools down.
– Sideways movement cleans excesses.

» Sensex And Nifty Are Not Economy
– Indices represent limited sectors.
– Economy is much broader.
– MSMEs are not represented.
– Agriculture is not represented.
– Services are partly represented.

» Media Headlines Versus Market Reality
– Media simplifies economic news.
– Positive GDP creates optimism.
– Markets analyse deeper data.
– Profit margins matter more.
– Balance sheets matter more.

» Why Markets Pause During Growth
– Growth phases are not linear.
– Markets move in cycles.
– Pause is healthy.
– It avoids bubbles.
– It creates future opportunity.

» Long Term Market Behaviour
– Markets reward patience.
– Short term stagnation is normal.
– Long term trend follows earnings.
– India’s growth story remains strong.
– Markets will reflect eventually.

» What Investors Should Understand
– Do not link GDP headlines to returns.
– Markets may remain flat despite growth.
– Volatility is part of equity.
– Discipline matters more than timing.
– Asset allocation matters more.

» Index Funds Limitation In Such Phases
– Index funds mirror index movement.
– When index stagnates, returns stagnate.
– No flexibility to avoid weak sectors.
– No active stock selection.
– Investors feel disappointed.

» Why Active Funds Help Here
– Active funds can shift allocations.
– Fund managers avoid weak sectors.
– They identify emerging opportunities.
– They manage downside risk better.
– They add value in sideways markets.

» Role Of Fund Manager Judgment
– Markets need analysis during uncertainty.
– Fund managers study earnings deeply.
– They track sector rotation.
– Index funds lack this intelligence.
– Active approach helps investors.

» Regular Funds Advantage
– Regular funds offer guidance support.
– Certified Financial Planner helps discipline.
– Behaviour management is crucial.
– Panic decisions reduce returns.
– Guidance adds real value.

» Emotional Gap Between Economy And Markets
– Economy gives comfort.
– Markets give anxiety.
– Both are normal reactions.
– Investors must separate emotions.
– Rational thinking is essential.

» What This Phase Actually Signals
– Markets are consolidating gains.
– Valuations are becoming reasonable.
– Earnings visibility is improving slowly.
– This phase builds foundation.
– Next growth phase emerges later.

» Lessons From Past Market Cycles
– Markets never move in straight lines.
– Long flat periods are common.
– Strong rallies follow consolidation.
– Patience rewarded historically.
– Panic punished historically.

» How Investors Should Respond
– Continue disciplined investing.
– Avoid reacting to headlines.
– Focus on long term goals.
– Review asset allocation.
– Stay invested wisely.

» Economy And Market Relationship Summary
– Economy supports long term markets.
– Markets price future profits.
– Timing mismatch creates confusion.
– Both align over longer periods.
– Understanding reduces fear.

» Final Insights
– GDP growth does not guarantee market rise.
– Sensex and Nifty reflect profits, not emotions.
– High valuations limited recent returns.
– Global factors slowed momentum.
– Sideways markets are healthy phases.
– Long term investors should stay disciplined.
– Active management helps during consolidation.
– Patience and clarity create wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10901 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Money
I have taken 1Cr personal loan and started a teading business. My personal loan EMI is Rs 2.6laks. 25 laks top line business in trading with 4 % margin. After this successful completion of 3 years Took a business loan of 2cr and invested in a stone manufacturing took this plant on lease ,this unit run for a six months and because of land dispute it is stopped producing. Through this new investment nothing coming as return moreover now I am paying EMI OF 7.61 lakhs from my 1cr trading business. Right now my creditors is Rs 1.5 cr and debtors is 1.3 cr. New manufacturing debtors recovery only is Rs1cr but takes 6months time. Pls give your valuable suggestions to handle the loans ,EMI and business and cash flow.
Ans: Your courage in sharing full details deserves appreciation.
You took bold risks to grow business scale.
Your intent was growth, not speculation.
Now control and survival matter more than expansion.

» Current Situation Snapshot
– Multiple loans with heavy EMIs exist.
– Cash flow stress is severe.
– One business is active.
– One business is stalled.
– Recovery timing mismatch is hurting liquidity.

» Understanding the Core Problem
– EMI outflow is very high.
– Cash inflow is delayed.
– Capital is blocked in receivables.
– One unit produces zero income.
– Debt servicing depends on one business.

» Emotional Stability First
– Stress clouds financial judgement.
– Panic decisions worsen outcomes.
– Calm thinking improves options.
– Problems are solvable step by step.
– You still have working businesses.

» Trading Business Reality Check
– Trading business generates steady turnover.
– Margin is predictable.
– Cash cycle is shorter.
– This is your lifeline currently.
– Protect this business at any cost.

» Manufacturing Unit Reality Check
– Unit is currently non operational.
– Legal issue stopped production.
– Fixed costs may still continue.
– Loan obligation remains active.
– This unit is draining cash.

» Immediate Priority Definition
– Survival over growth.
– Liquidity over profitability.
– Debt control over expansion.
– Stability over optimism.
– Time is your biggest ally now.

» EMI Burden Assessment
– Personal loan EMI is heavy.
– Business loan EMI is heavier.
– Combined EMI exceeds comfortable cash flow.
– This imbalance cannot continue long.
– Intervention is required urgently.

» Creditor and Debtor Position
– Creditors amount is Rs 1.5 Cr.
– Debtors amount is Rs 1.3 Cr.
– Recovery is delayed.
– Timing mismatch causes pressure.
– Working capital is blocked.

» Recovery From Manufacturing Debtors
– Rs 1 Cr expected in six months.
– This is critical cash inflow.
– Recovery certainty matters.
– Legal enforceability must be checked.
– Follow up must be aggressive.

» Cash Flow Timing Mismatch
– EMIs are monthly fixed.
– Receivables are uncertain and delayed.
– This gap creates default risk.
– Managing timing is crucial.
– Income alone is not enough.

» First Action: Stop All New Investments
– No new business expansion now.
– No additional borrowing.
– No fresh capital deployment.
– Preserve every rupee.
– Focus only on stability.

» Second Action: Ring Fence Trading Business
– Separate trading cash flows clearly.
– Do not divert trading funds.
– Trading business pays EMIs currently.
– Protect working capital strictly.
– This business keeps you alive.

» Third Action: Manufacturing Unit Decision
– Assess legal resolution timeline.
– If delay exceeds viability, exit planning starts.
– Emotional attachment must be avoided.
– Sunk cost should not guide decisions.
– Cash bleeding must stop.

» Manufacturing Unit Exit Strategy
– Explore lease termination options.
– Negotiate with lender for restructuring.
– Offer temporary moratorium if possible.
– Present genuine hardship facts.
– Banks prefer resolution over default.

» Loan Restructuring Importance
– Restructuring is not failure.
– It is a survival tool.
– Approach lenders proactively.
– Show recovery plan clearly.
– Silence worsens lender trust.

» Personal Loan Restructuring
– Personal loans carry highest interest.
– EMI is choking cash flow.
– Request tenure extension.
– Request EMI reduction temporarily.
– Partial prepayment later can be planned.

» Business Loan Restructuring
– Business loan is large.
– Manufacturing stoppage justifies relief.
– Seek moratorium or reduced EMI.
– Submit legal dispute documents.
– Banks understand external disruptions.

» Using Expected Rs 1 Cr Recovery
– Do not spend emotionally.
– Allocate wisely before receipt.
– Priority is EMI reduction.
– Second priority is creditor settlement.
– Third priority is liquidity buffer.

» Allocation Discipline for Recovery Amount
– Clear highest interest dues first.
– Reduce monthly EMI burden permanently.
– Avoid reinvestment temptation.
– Keep cash buffer intact.
– Stability comes before growth.

» Creditor Negotiation Strategy
– Creditors prefer payment certainty.
– Open communication builds trust.
– Offer structured settlement timelines.
– Avoid hiding information.
– Transparency reduces legal escalation.

» Debtor Recovery Acceleration
– Follow up weekly.
– Use legal notices if required.
– Offer small discounts for early payment.
– Faster cash is better than delayed full amount.
– Liquidity beats accounting profits.

» Expense Control Measures
– Reduce personal expenses temporarily.
– Avoid lifestyle inflation.
– Delay non essential purchases.
– Family support is important now.
– This phase is temporary.

» Psychological Trap to Avoid
– Do not chase losses.
– Do not over trade.
– Do not take fresh high interest loans.
– Do not rely on hope alone.
– Discipline beats optimism.

» Risk Management Going Forward
– Avoid concentration in one income source.
– Avoid leverage driven expansion.
– Build cash buffers always.
– Scale only after stabilisation.
– Lessons here are valuable.

» Role of Insurance Policies
– If any investment linked policies exist.
– Review surrender values carefully.
– Liquidity may matter more now.
– Policy loans increase stress.
– Protection and investment must be separated.

» Long Term Financial Health Vision
– First goal is debt reduction.
– Second goal is cash stability.
– Third goal is controlled growth.
– Wealth creation comes later.
– Survival creates future opportunities.

» Family Communication
– Share situation honestly with family.
– Emotional support improves resilience.
– Joint decisions reduce stress.
– Isolation worsens burden.
– You are not alone.

» Time Based Plan Approach
– Next three months focus on liquidity.
– Next six months focus on restructuring.
– Next year focus on debt reduction.
– Growth planning comes later.
– Structured thinking reduces anxiety.

» What Success Looks Like Now
– EMIs aligned with cash flow.
– No overdue payments.
– Trading business protected.
– Manufacturing exposure limited.
– Stress levels reduced.

» Final Insights
– You are facing a cash flow crisis.
– This is not a failure.
– Your assets and skills still exist.
– Immediate control actions can stabilise.
– Restructuring is essential, not optional.
– Protect your profitable business first.
– Use recoveries wisely, not emotionally.
– Patience with discipline will restore balance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10901 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear sir, i have choose sbi retire smart plus 10 years policy. Premium 6lak per annum for 4 years i paid. What happened if i complete the Premium should i wait till maturity. Or surrender after 5 years lock in period. Is it good to be patience till maturity or i will loss money due to inflation.
Ans: Your honesty in asking this question deserves appreciation.
You already paid large premiums with discipline.
That shows commitment to retirement planning.
Now clarity is more important than patience alone.

» Understanding What You Have Chosen
– This is an investment linked insurance policy.
– Insurance and investment are combined here.
– Charges are high in early years.
– Transparency is limited.
– Returns depend on internal fund performance.

» Premium Commitment Review
– You committed Rs.6 lakhs yearly.
– You already paid for four years.
– Total paid amount is significant.
– Cash flow pressure matters here.
– Every rupee must work efficiently.

» Lock-in and Surrender Reality
– Lock-in period is five years.
– Surrender before lock-in causes heavy loss.
– After lock-in, surrender value improves.
– However charges still continue.
– Patience alone does not remove inefficiency.

» Cost Structure Impact
– Mortality charges reduce returns yearly.
– Policy administration charges continue.
– Fund management charges apply separately.
– These reduce compounding power.
– Inflation impact becomes severe.

» Inflation Risk Explanation
– Inflation reduces real value yearly.
– Long holding needs strong growth.
– Such policies give moderate growth.
– Real returns may become negative.
– Retirement needs inflation beating growth.

» Return Expectation Reality
– Projected returns often look attractive.
– Actual returns depend on net allocation.
– Charges reduce effective returns.
– Volatility affects maturity value.
– Expectations must be realistic.

» Insurance and Investment Mixing Issue
– Insurance needs certainty.
– Investments need flexibility.
– Mixing both creates compromise.
– Neither objective is fully met.
– This is a structural weakness.

» Maturity Waiting Option Assessment
– Waiting till maturity avoids surrender loss.
– But opportunity cost remains high.
– Funds remain locked inefficiently.
– Growth may not beat inflation.
– Time lost cannot be recovered.

» Surrender After Lock-in Assessment
– Surrender after five years reduces penalty.
– You regain flexibility of funds.
– Capital can be reallocated better.
– Long term efficiency improves.
– This option deserves serious thought.

» Emotional Attachment Trap
– Past payments create attachment.
– This is a sunk cost.
– Future decisions should be rational.
– Focus on remaining years.
– Do not protect wrong choices.

» Comparison With Pure Investment Options
– Pure investments have lower costs.
– Flexibility is higher.
– Transparency is better.
– Goal alignment is clearer.
– Long term outcomes improve.

» Role of Actively Managed Mutual Funds
– Professional fund managers manage risk.
– Portfolio is reviewed continuously.
– Expenses are lower comparatively.
– Liquidity is superior.
– Compounding works better.

» Why Regular Mutual Fund Route Helps
– Guidance avoids emotional mistakes.
– Asset allocation stays aligned.
– Reviews happen systematically.
– Behavioural discipline improves.
– Long term results stabilise.

» Tax Efficiency Perspective
– Insurance tax benefit looks attractive.
– But returns matter more.
– Low returns waste tax advantage.
– Efficient growth offsets tax cost.
– Net outcome matters finally.

» Retirement Time Horizon Consideration
– Retirement corpus needs growth now.
– Capital protection comes later.
– Inefficient products delay growth.
– Time is precious.
– Every year counts.

» Cash Flow Stress Check
– High premium affects liquidity.
– Emergencies need ready funds.
– Lock-in restricts access.
– Stress impacts peace of mind.
– Simpler structure reduces stress.

» What Patience Really Means
– Patience is good with right products.
– Patience cannot fix poor structure.
– Long holding does not guarantee success.
– Quality matters more than duration.
– Review is wisdom, not impatience.

» When Continuing May Make Sense
– If surrender value is very low.
– If nearing maturity period.
– If cash flow is comfortable.
– If goals are already funded.
– Otherwise review is essential.

» When Exit Is Better
– If inflation erosion is clear.
– If returns lag alternatives.
– If flexibility is needed.
– If retirement gap exists.
– If charges dominate growth.

» 360 Degree Recommendation Thought Process
– Protect what is already paid.
– Avoid further inefficiency.
– Improve future return potential.
– Maintain adequate insurance separately.
– Align investments with retirement goal.

» Insurance Planning Clarity
– Insurance should cover risk only.
– Sum assured must be adequate.
– Premium should be minimal.
– Investment should remain separate.
– This gives clarity and control.

» Behavioural Discipline Going Forward
– Avoid pressure selling products.
– Ask cost related questions.
– Demand transparency.
– Review annually.
– Stay goal focused.

» Final Insights
– You acted responsibly by asking now.
– Product structure is not ideal.
– Inflation risk is real.
– Waiting till maturity may disappoint.
– Surrender after lock-in deserves evaluation.
– Reallocation can improve outcomes.
– Retirement planning needs efficiency.
– Timely correction shows maturity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10901 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 17, 2025

Money
Dear rediffGuru, I am 48 year having private job, I have started MF investment from 2017 and currently monthly SIP 50K as below. I want to have corpus of 2.5 Cr at the age of 58. Please advice me if any changes/increase need in below SIP. 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3.ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Your discipline since 2017 deserves real appreciation.
You stayed invested for many years.
You already think long term.
This habit creates wealth over time.

» Your Goal Clarity
– You want Rs.2.5 Crores by age fifty-eight.
– You have ten years left.
– Time is still supportive.
– Regular investing helps greatly.
– Clarity itself improves outcomes.

» Present Investment Effort
– Monthly SIP is Rs.50,000.
– Investments are fully market linked.
– Exposure is mainly equity oriented.
– Risk appetite looks high.
– Commitment level is good.

» Portfolio Structure Observation
– Too many funds exist.
– Categories are repeating often.
– Small companies exposure is heavy.
– Sector exposure is present.
– Portfolio looks cluttered.

» Small Company Funds Concentration
– Many funds invest in smaller businesses.
– These funds give high returns sometimes.
– They also fall sharply during stress.
– Volatility increases with age.
– This needs careful control.

» Mid and Large Company Exposure
– Mid company exposure is moderate.
– Large company exposure looks limited.
– Large companies provide stability.
– Stability matters nearing retirement.
– Balance is essential now.

» Sector Focus Risks
– Sector funds depend on one theme.
– Performance cycles are unpredictable.
– Long underperformance periods happen.
– SIP discipline becomes difficult.
– Allocation should be limited.

» Dynamic Allocation Exposure
– Asset allocation funds manage equity levels.
– They help reduce downside risk.
– They suit late career investors.
– Allocation size matters.
– One such fund is enough.

» Over Diversification Concern
– Many funds dilute impact.
– Monitoring becomes difficult.
– Overlap increases silently.
– Returns may disappoint.
– Simplicity improves control.

» Suitability for Ten Year Horizon
– Ten years is medium term.
– Aggressive risk needs moderation.
– Capital protection gains importance.
– Drawdowns hurt goals.
– Adjustments are timely now.

» Expected Corpus Reality Check
– Rs.50,000 SIP alone may fall short.
– Market returns are uncertain.
– Inflation eats purchasing power.
– Increasing SIP helps.
– Step-up becomes very important.

» Importance of SIP Increase
– Income generally rises with age.
– SIP should rise yearly.
– Even small increases help.
– This supports target achievement.
– Discipline matters more than returns.

» Asset Allocation Improvement
– Equity should remain primary.
– Debt exposure should slowly increase.
– Stability increases closer to goal.
– This reduces panic risk.
– Allocation needs yearly review.

» Why Active Management Matters
– Actively managed funds adjust portfolios.
– Fund managers handle valuation risks.
– They exit overheated stocks.
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– Passive funds offer no protection.

» Disadvantages of Index Investing
– No downside control exists.
– Full market falls are painful.
– Retirement timing risk increases.
– Investor emotions suffer.
– Active funds suit your stage better.

» Why Regular Plans Help
– Guidance improves behaviour.
– Rebalancing happens on time.
– Panic decisions reduce.
– Long term discipline strengthens.
– Cost difference is justified.

» Monitoring and Review Discipline
– Annual review is essential.
– Performance alone is insufficient.
– Risk alignment must be checked.
– Goal progress should be tracked.
– Reviews avoid surprises later.

» Tax Awareness During Accumulation
– Equity gains face capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains have exemptions.
– Short-term gains cost more.
– Holding period matters.
– Churning should be avoided.

» Emergency and Protection Planning
– Emergency fund is important.
– Job risk always exists.
– Insurance coverage should be adequate.
– Medical costs rise fast.
– Protection safeguards investments.

» Retirement Age Shift Possibility
– Retirement may shift slightly.
– Working longer reduces pressure.
– Even two extra years help.
– Flexibility increases success.
– Keep this option open.

» Behavioural Discipline Importance
– Market falls test patience.
– SIP continuity builds wealth.
– Stopping SIP hurts goals.
– Emotions damage returns.
– Discipline protects outcomes.

» Key Portfolio Refinement Direction
– Reduce fund count gradually.
– Avoid repeated category exposure.
– Increase large company allocation.
– Limit sector exposure.
– Maintain one dynamic allocation option.

» SIP Amount Enhancement Guidance
– Increase SIP annually.
– Use bonuses wisely.
– Direct increments into SIPs.
– This bridges corpus gap.
– Consistency beats timing.

» Goal Tracking Approach
– Review goal progress yearly.
– Adjust SIP if needed.
– Markets change yearly.
– Plans must adapt.
– Static plans fail often.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps align risk with age.
– Simplifies portfolio structure.
– Ensures tax efficiency.
– Supports emotional discipline.
– Improves goal probability.

» Final Insights
– Your investing habit is strong.
– Goal clarity is impressive.
– Portfolio needs simplification.
– Risk needs gradual control.
– SIP increase is necessary.
– Active funds suit your stage.
– Discipline will decide success.
– Time is still on your side.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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