Hello, I am a working independant women staying with in laws. My mother in law is a narcissist. She used to boast about herself, her son, relatives anytime. I was fed up hearing all these...she wants to keep everything and everyone under her control. I used to tell my husband regarding his mom's behaviour.. He knew about his mom's behaviour from before. He supported me and told me to confront mom and tell her directly that i dont like her behaviour.. But i was afraid.. Because she will never acknowledge her mistake.. My husband and his mom had frequent fight regarding other reasons( like way she talks, controlling behavior) but she never changed her behavior.. One day my husband told her everything what i told him about her.. The way she has been treating me... She got super angry...said many bad words to me..We left the house and rented a apartment.. Still now she is angry.. Blaming me for everything.. For taking her son away.. Now what to do??

 Ma'am I got married in 2017.After one month problems started. My mother in law started creating problems by emotionally blackmailing my husband. Now even after 4 years, nothing has changed. I have 1 year old son and a government job. But my husband always kept on insulting me. He behaves as per his mood. I don't know what to do. Pls help me.

Hope you are doing well.I am kinda mentally disturbed and badly need your suggestion. I have been in love and married for 13 yrs. I have a son and a daughter. I'm a working woman.I'm being constantly ill-treated by my mother-in-law. I know such issues exist in every household. But here, it has been a never-ending issue for 13 years now. She is very insecure, when it comes to household chores, my kids and my husband and feels all these areas should be in her control.She feels she is to be given utmost attention and only her thoughts and feelings to be respected and are always right. She insults me, mocks me, and doesn't treat me like a part of the family, though I’m selfless and continue to care for my in-laws and other family members. She keeps hurting me with her words, gestures and behaviour.To her, I'm like a constant pester and she doesn't feel satisfied with any chores or work at home or family. I'm a big mess. She often states 'I’m her` target` and will continue to hurt me verbally and with gestures.My husband doesn't raise questions on his mom's insane behaviour, as she threatens to harm herself.This is a routine she carries out, whenever she wants to. I have zero support from my husband to change his mom and or understand my feelings. Neither should I voice out my views or feelings. I have to look out for her moods and actions and act accordingly, any time.I have no self-respect, no dignity here. It doesn't feel like this is my house or my family, except for my kids. My kids are growing up and I feel I will lose respect amongst them, when she constantly taunts me and insults me for no reason.I have no parents or siblings to share my feelings. I open up with my close friends for a temporary vent out, otherwise, it really doesn't serve any purpose.I feel like I have to live eternally with this mental abuse, as I'm unable to put up with her behaviour and harassment. Acting as if I'm fine every day is killing me.This type of behaviour makes me feel very low and my self-esteem is affected. I feel worthless and my whole life feels like a sheer curse.Please help me get out of this situation and make my mother-in-law mend her behaviour towards me.Awaiting your response.

Hi Anu...i hv been reading ur expertise to solve the issues of people and am really impressed. We have been married for 19years now and have a son and daughter .From the start of the marriage my wife have been inclined towards her mother and her family paying less or no heed to us. Circumstances were also favorable to her and she always got the opportunity to stay close and visit her parents often which i did not mind.We lived in Mumbai and she is from Chennai.After marriage my mom-in-law used to continuosly interfere into our lives by calling her and she used to act as per her suggestions only which led to problems as she was a puppet in the hands of my Mom-in-law. Moreover since my mom-in-law was not in good health my wife tried not to over rule as she did not want her mom to feel sick as she doesnt like to be over ruled or by pass failing which she goes on hunger strike and stop taking tablets spoiling her own health. Due to this reason everybody has been appeasing her.Initially i thought to ignore but slowly it started to affect my family as well as my wife started to see things thru my mom-in-laws perspective and find faults in everything. We shifted to overseas to stay away from all these and we really had a good life for 10 years there but since i lost job during covid i had to shift base to India for my son's education but she chose to stay back there with my daughter as she is working there.I too felt that let her spend some time so that i could settle things in India and call her but it is more than 2 years now and she refuses to come back and dont even care for us and neither call us as family. I tried to involve my in-laws to convince her but they are also playing a diplomatic game and doesnt want to go against their daughter's wish.Due to this attitude of my mom-in-law their own daughter-in-laws have been staying away and since my in-laws stay alone my wife feels that she is the only support system for her parents but it has come on my life's sacrifice. She has been ignoring us and even i kept moving for the sake of my family and children instead of respecting my feelings she has become more adamant now.Her brother is also seperated from her wife and he also looks forward for a support system from my daughter and my wife and they seem close ignoring myself and my son.We have been trying to convince her thru all means but she is caring. Even i feel that it is futile to force someone into relationship but she unknowingly spoiling my family and deprieve my son the mother;s love and also depreive my daughter from affection and love.Due to this my son has also stopped expecting from her and my daughter treats me as a stranger due to long distance. Pls suggest the way forward. Shud i wait for things to improve or leave as it is.I am 47 now and she is 45..told her that let us enjoy the best things in life rather than regretting later but she does not understand.

My mother in law has been exploiting us by making us do all her chores work n behaves badly rudely n always sends hidden messages making herself a victim n making us feel guilt since few months my sister in law has asked her not to talk to us as she does not like us and my mom in law has stopped talking to us since more than a month whereas my sis in law does not live together n is bitter n jealous if us how do we initiate conversations with my mother in law we are worried about her but we are afraid if her temper n she constantly fights with us ?