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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SN Question by SN on May 05, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years.
Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.
My in-laws are not very friendly people.
After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house.
My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.

My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well.
I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work.
My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.

Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.
Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.
I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing.
In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.

I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.
Please provide your valuable suggestions.

Ans:

Dear SN,

Hasn’t the lockdown ended for a while now?

Why are you still with them?

What was the initial reason of moving in with them?

Does that reason still exist?

Being part of a joint/extended family system isn’t a cake walk; each person is unique and so are their thoughts and experiences and they will want the other person to live by their experiences and rules. But of course, an emotionally mature person would believe in giving space for another person grow and evolve and swim around the family dynamics. Well, it isn't the case here.

Why don’t you drop down a pros and cons list for When I move out and for When I stay here.

Weigh it down to its granular detail. Also, try and figure out why your husband is so against talking to them.

Sometimes, it maybe a minor adjustment that everyone needs to go through, but our movies and sitcoms have done enough damage to our minds where the drama looks never ending and where one party is to blame. Usually, the adjustment has to happen from both ends.

Bring this to a place where everyone gains, and everyone is happy. Maybe moving out is an option that you seek but will this go well with your husband and remember, he might do this for you, and in the long run in might end up blaming you for it. It’s complicated.

So, take time and work on the pros and cons, why your husband is against talking to them about this and also ask yourself: Have I done everything that I can to live joyfully under one roof?
You will have a path to your solution soon.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Relationship
My partner and I have temporarily been in a long-distance marriage due to our love for work. When, I am with him in a nuclear set up, he is generally caring and cooperating giving me space to grow. But my in-laws expect me to stay with them for months or wish to stay with us for two to three months at a stretch. They function very differently and hold traditional views. I am providing few examples although there are many other incompatibilities. 1. Want me to eat rice three times a day and cook the same for my husband2. Refrain from wearing a few colours. Give remarks regarding length of my trouser. 3. Ask me to wear bangles all the time. 4. Tell me never to make my husband do my tasks like drying my clothes in the sun as this is against Indian culture. 5. My mother-in-law has strange rules like all food has to be thrown away if utensils touch the body accidentally.6. I am not allowed to serve myself food in fear of above rule. 7. Excessive number of rituals and poojas. I do not want to disrespect their culture or change them in their own life. I co-operate but I function extremely differently and my priorities are very different. I am not okay with them coming for two to three months at a stretch and I am freedom-deprived in my own home when I live with my husband.I have a job that demands from me mentally even when I am at home. I can adjust to their rules for few days but not for so long. Also, I fear they will pressurize me into going there/coming here for a long time after a baby and try to tell me how to take care etc. My husband is shy and often stays silent in front of his mother. He goes to his parents’ house for three months in a year and I am happy that he can be with his parents. Please help in drawing boundaries/guide me in achieving balance.
Ans:

Dear MM,

Be very forthcoming and expressing to them that there are a few things that you might be unable to comply not because you don’t respect them or their customs, but because it causes you more effort to do that.

Another way to think is: it’s only a couple of months that they are around, can I simply work around it and sort this out amicably?

Truth be told: we focus on what we don’t like more than what you like and then what we don’t like starts to grow in the mind with situations and people associated with those become ‘villains’.

Now, I don’t say that you don’t have challenges, but to worry about a baby when there isn’t one as yet, seems like you have already decided how horrible things are and will be.

So, you will be fighting a battle with your partner and put him in a fix to fix things, Why don’t you do that yourself?

Draw boundaries by clearly stating what you can do and do that with a lot of love rather than as a favour.

Once they see and feel this, they are maybe willing to see things from your point of view as well and adapt to your way of thinking.

Give some, Take some.

I am sure this is something that you might surely be able to do considering that you are working hard to make things happen.

So, All the Best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Relationship
Dear mam, I am married for 14 yrs. Love marriage. I used to work earlier but quit because my husband was earning well and he said he will take care of me and my son. We used to be a happy couple but during the lockdown my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to move in with us. Slowly they started creating issues between my husband and me often badmouthing my behaviour or complaining about me. I was unaware about it until recently when we had a big fight. That’s when I realised that they have been planning to drive me out of the house and get him married to someone else whom they can manipulate. It’s been over a year now that my husband is not even talking to me properly. I went and stayed with my parents for some time but even they feel I am a burden and should adjust and accommodate instead of giving them reasons to fight. They don’t understand that all this is politics. Now my husband is talking to some girl whom I don’t like. That is causing more problems and fights between us. Anything I say is used against me now. Please help me mam. What to do?
Ans: Dear R, why did they start to create issues between you and your husband?

What led to this? It rarely happens that people go after people with no reason.

Did you have any reservations about them coming and staying over?

Did you express it in some form to them? (Ask these to yourself so that you know that any act on your part did not lead to this situation. Of course, nothing justifies their plotting to get their son married behind your back).

If the answer to this is NO, then it's time to confront your husband, get a mediator and put things on the table.

What does he want? What do you want?

Do you both want to continue in this marriage?

What are his responsibilities towards your son?

These need to be addressed without anymore delay. Being in a limbo state is not fun as it keeps you guessing and the uncertainty can cause a lot of stress.

Also, kindly sensitise your parents towards what you are going through, so that support you in this time of need.

Act NOW and whatever you decide, put yourself first and take care of you emotional state of mind.

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2022

Relationship
I got married in 2018 and it was an arranged marriage. Everything seemed very perfect for me. But soon after things got weird as I realised my husband does not share good rapport with his own family. From day second, I felt I need to correct my husband' attitude towards his own parents. He loves me a lot and protects me from any type of problem while we were staying at my in-laws' house. But before completing 2 months we moved out and somewhere I knew there is no going back to his parents from that point. During the short 2 months stay I was told that my parents did not give me good stuff -- I mean bed, almirah and (that they) had not arranged our marriage function in the best way possible. I have seen them fighting among themselves for purchasing Maggi packets stating who will pay the price. I was told my husband who is eventually their real son contributed nothing to his sister's marriage, to their house construction and to his own marriage. I was asked to pay for the marriage album as my husband contributed nothing to his own marriage. Even after leaving their place bank payment related messages have been sent to me to pay the amount. One day after feeling helpless I asked them: If your son is having so much problem why did you marry him. They simply stated that they did it for the sake of society. The moments before leaving the house were tense. They threw a lot of tantrums -- they took the jewellery they'd purchased for me and also retained the jewellery given by my parents. I said nothing about it as those materialistic things never mattered to me. I had to take back a part of jewellery made by my parents from them as my parents wanted it back. But after leaving home they did not call to ask anything about our health or our problems with the new set up but instead called for money. They are threatening to come back if we don't talk to them on regular basis and bend their son on his knees to come back to his parents. Till some time, I was under the impression that my husband is having issues; that he is the monster who is abandoning his parents. When I learned his side of story, I realised he is not at fault completely. They never made him feel loved or accepted; and always compared him with others. They considered him as their investment plan as they are all the time cursing him for not providing any financial support without knowing at what salary he is working for, what are his monthly expenses and whether he is in a position to assist them financially.He doesn't have any good memories with his family. Still I tried to make him feel their pain to be left alone behind their only son. After leaving their house they started to abuse me on phone whenever they wanted. They cursed me and my parents for taking their son away from them. My husband is the typical Indian male who on the first night took control of my debit card as he thinks it is his birth right. He strictly told me what not to wear. Although these were major flaws in the attitude, he showed love towards me so I did also do the same. I am happy with him. But with this constant verbal abuse from his parents, I feel like I’m the one who is the culprit here. I was not ready to even extend my family with my husband but somehow I did take the decision after four years of my marriage. I am expecting now but my husband warned me to not inform about this to his parents otherwise, he will send me permanently to my parents’ house. My subconscious is shaking me in every 2 to 3 weeks that I’m the culprit here. I feel like my child will also leave me behind the way we left his parents behind. They insulted me in every possible way but I still don't want them to be left alone in their senior years like this. But I have no control over my husband he is way more detached towards them and maximum time insensitive to their problems. Also his parents always call to either abuse me or their son they did never ask us how we are if we are fine even in corona time I was positive and when they knew about they call my husband to make fun of this. Please suggest.
Ans:

Dear MB,

Too much going on in your mind all at once. Sometimes, it helps to compartmentalize.

It seems like you are being a nice human, have tried patching things between the son and his family.

Let it alone, it is unique and it’s their battle to fight. By you getting into this, it might eventually be pointed out that you are a bad wife and a bad influence on their son.

People when in distress lose sense of logic and blame everything on the external. So, you have done your bit, in vain…now stay away from their relationship.

What is meant to be, will be. Any more interference might only harm the relationship further.

As for you, when they call and abuse, kindly assert that you will not be talked to in that manner OR simply avoid their calls till the time they ask, then say: I do want our conversations to be had with respect both ways.

As for your husband taking away your debit card; it does seem his way of exercising control which he lacks with himself in relation to his parents.

He feels helpless and him taking charge of what you wear etc is his way of establishing ground rules by being a patriarch.

Please rework this soon else this will be observed by your children especially if you have a girl child.

Your meek submission is what she will learn from you.

Just like you took your streedhan back, what you feel you have a personal association and right over, kindly take it back.

His love for you does not mean that he owns you and it does not mean you need to submit.

Of course, if it is to maintain peace for the time being, alright…but over a period of time this has to change.

Enjoy the pregnancy without bringing unwanted worries that your child will also leave you etc.

Too much of commercial movies can instil these fears. Your husband and his family made this choice to harbor animosity towards each other.

Why will your child do the same with you? There is no transference. Simply, enjoy being pregnant, focus on yourself and your child.

Think good, eat good, feel good, laugh a lot and choose what who you want around you. It affects the child directly.

Please become responsible now towards your unborn child. He/she needs you.

Be with Nature a lot, listen to calming music…your baby will thank you someday for this. So smile and get on to enjoying your pregnancy.

Be happy and all the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I got married to the person who was behind me for years. I always considered him as my friend and supporter even after knowing his intention. My mom kept advising me we should go behind that person who cares and loves us. I obeyed her. Soon after things went into proposal mode his family started demanding for dowry and other stuffs. My friend was not from a well fed family which I was not aware. They lied to is they are very rich, hence they need what the demanded since the marriage news was widw spread wit no options we arranged and gave. My friend and his mother brain washed and convinced us to agree for this marriage. Even since I got married my husband and his mother is ruling on me and family. It was late when we got to know that they have been lying to is on their assets. Now when we ask them they deny and keep harassing me. My family got fed up of these fights started maitaining distance and since I Don want to trouble my divorced mother I stop complaining about the issues I am facing. My in-laws demand increases day by day. My mother-in-law is a mother of two kids a son and a daughter but everytime she tortures me and her son is quiet most of the time. When responsibility comes she supports her daughter and makes us to take responsibility which is not fair. Responsibiloty is parallel and must be shared. I am not well, my husband doesn't even give me money or take me to doctor. I am been told marriage means providing food and shelter. Please advise me what shud I do I am fed up
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Basically you have been cheated; period!
What do you with even a basic thing like being cheated at a shop? Do you actually keep the product OR return it?
Yes, relationships are not like that BUT do understand that your marriage has been nothing but a transaction with mean minded people out to destroy you and your peace of mind.
There are no children in the equation so far...so do know you are free to take a decision. Today, it's harassment and giving you no money, tomorrow who knows what else!
Do you not see that they have begun to make you depend on them for the basic things? This is how it all begins before it gets into other shades of harassment which I do not want to speculate.
Put yourself first; be selfish and think about what to do next to actually live a peaceful and carefree life like the way it was before marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I've been married for 20 years and my in laws staying with us for over 14 years now. I'm ok with my mother in law but have a very stressful relationship with my father in law. 13 years back he tried to overstep his boundaries in FIL-DIL relationship and i created lots of noise about it and told everyone in no unclear terms that such overture are not acceptable. However due to their complete financial dependency on my husband, they have still continued to stay with us. My FIL tried a couple of time to apologize personally but after sometime he has started telling that he is the aggrieved party and misunderstood. I strictly avoid speaking with him unless totally necessary wrt some house issue or child related issue. He interferes in my decision related to my child, like taking him off the activity classes where i enrolled, allowing him to eat junk food when i have strictly told no because of IBS related problem etc. I've also told my husband in no unclear terms that i want a separate household, but unfortunately because of their old age and for fear of society norms he isn't doing it. The environment in my house is quite stressful because of this to me, everyone else is just continuing without bother. How to deal with this? I tried living in other city with my child as well but then felt my house is breaking without any fault in our relationship (husband- wife), and my child was feeling emotional so i returned. This situation and stress has given me health conditions and made me irritable as well. I just don't want to live like this but have no option but to continue it seems. I need suggestion how to handle this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What society says is more important that actually safeguarding his wife from a predator father? Seriously?
Your husband needs a lesson or two in responsibilities in marriage and that also includes 'protecting' his wife...
Now, if he is worried that they are old and what will the society say, ask him what the same society will say when they know what his father is up to?

Your father-in-law is just trying to punish you for your refusal by interfering in how you should be raising your child...
Please do not put up with this kind of nonsense! Someone needs to drive sense into your husband and yes, you need to live separately from your in-laws. Your father-in-law is not a great influence at this point in time and your husband needs to move beyond his 'blind' love and sense of duty towards them.

You and your child are also his priority and when a wife feels unsafe, the husband has no option but to address it and make her feel safe again. Your husband is conveniently avoiding the confusion that will emerge from living separately and hence is taking the easy way out.
Talk to him and put your foot down. If he is still unwilling, please ask your family members to drive some sense in him. He can take care of them living a few blocks away, right?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P P  |359 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2024Hindi
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My daughter who is currently in 11th Standard and opted for commerce with physical education with fine arts as an extra subject, wants to pursue bachelor of designing. Please guide regarding career options after completion of this degree.
Ans: Steps now for your Daughter's Career in DESIGN after 12th. (1) From September onwards (when she will be in 12th Standard), she should start applying for minimum 5-Entrance Exams, meant for Design Courses such as, NID-DAT, UCEED, CEED, MIT-DAT, SEED & NIFT. (2) Now itself, should go through the Syllabus of All Entrance Exams and start preparing to be COMPETENT among other aspirants to get admission into one of the Top-Ranked Design Institutes in India with the desired Specializations. (3) There are multiple career options with specializations in Design field. It is advisable NOT to think over specailization now. She can decide by her 12th standard end. (4) She should shortlist minimum 5-Top Design Institutes & Top 5-Design Courses / Specializations she wishes to pursue for. (5) Immediately after the Results of Entrance Exams, please ask for best career options here in RediffGURU. We will be happy to help your daughter. All The BEST for your Daughter’s Bright Future.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3726 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I am 24 year unmarried earning monthly 50k. I have my depts till December with monthly 50k consists of loan 14000 and home 22000 and my rent and monthly expenses 15k for bachelor. Still I can mangebke with this salary till December.. everything will be completed. So from next January onwards I want to invest some of the money for future scope . Could you please give me a detailed planing about it. Regards Ganesh
Ans: Dear Ganesh,

Congratulations on nearing the end of your debt obligations. It’s commendable that you are planning ahead and thinking about investing for your future. At 24, you have a great opportunity to build a strong financial foundation. Here’s a detailed plan to help you start investing from January onwards.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You earn Rs 50,000 per month. Currently, your expenses are as follows:

Loan Repayment: Rs 14,000
Home Loan: Rs 22,000
Rent and Monthly Expenses: Rs 15,000
Your total monthly expenses amount to Rs 51,000. You are managing these expenses well and will clear your debts by December. From January onwards, you will have more disposable income to invest.

Building an Emergency Fund
The first step in your financial journey should be to build an emergency fund. An emergency fund provides a safety net for unexpected expenses. Aim to save at least six months’ worth of living expenses.

Target Amount: Rs 90,000 (6 x Rs 15,000)
Monthly Contribution: Set aside a portion of your income each month until you reach this target.
Keep this fund in a liquid asset, such as a savings account or a liquid mutual fund, for easy access.

Budgeting and Saving
Effective budgeting is crucial for financial stability. Here’s how you can allocate your monthly income of Rs 50,000 from January:

Savings and Investments: 30% (Rs 15,000)
Emergency Fund: 10% (Rs 5,000)
Rent and Living Expenses: 30% (Rs 15,000)
Discretionary Spending: 20% (Rs 10,000)
Insurance and Miscellaneous: 10% (Rs 5,000)
This allocation ensures you save and invest a significant portion while covering your expenses.

Investing for the Future
Investing is key to building wealth over time. Here are some investment strategies to consider:

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
A SIP allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly in mutual funds. It’s a disciplined way to build wealth and averages the cost of investment over time.

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds invest in stocks and offer high returns. They are suitable for long-term goals.
Debt Mutual Funds: These funds invest in fixed-income securities, providing stable returns. They balance the risk in your portfolio.
Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt, offering growth with reduced risk.
Investing through SIPs can help you achieve your financial goals while mitigating market volatility.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds
While index funds provide diversification at low cost, actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns. Professional fund managers actively select and manage stocks, aiming to outperform the market.

Expert Management: Fund managers have the expertise to select high-potential stocks.
Flexibility: Actively managed funds can adjust their portfolios based on market conditions.
By investing in actively managed funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential, you can benefit from professional guidance and tailored investment strategies.

Insurance and Risk Management
Insurance is essential to protect your financial well-being. Here are key insurance strategies:

Health Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical expenses can be significant, and health insurance provides financial protection.

Coverage Amount: At least Rs 5 lakhs
Family Coverage: Consider a family floater plan if you have dependents.
Life Insurance
Life insurance is crucial if you have dependents. A term insurance plan offers high coverage at a low premium.

Coverage Amount: At least 10 times your annual income.
Term Insurance: Provides financial security to your family in case of an unforeseen event.
Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can help you save money and increase your net worth. Here are some tax-saving strategies:

Section 80C
Invest in tax-saving instruments to avail deductions under Section 80C.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Offers attractive interest rates and tax benefits.
Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): Mutual funds with a lock-in period of three years, offering high returns and tax benefits.
Section 80D
Claim deductions on health insurance premiums paid for yourself and your family under Section 80D.

Long-Term Financial Goals
Setting clear long-term financial goals is essential. Here are some common goals to consider:

Retirement Planning
Start investing for your retirement early to build a substantial corpus.

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): Contribute to EPF if you are employed.
National Pension System (NPS): Offers a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities with tax benefits.
Purchasing a House
If you plan to buy a house, start saving for the down payment early. Consider saving in a dedicated account for this purpose.

Children’s Education
If you plan to have children, start an education fund early. Investing in child-specific plans or mutual funds can help you build a corpus for their education.

Regular Financial Review
Regularly reviewing your financial plan is crucial to stay on track to achieve your goals. Here are some tips:

Annual Review: Conduct an annual review of your financial plan. Assess your progress and make necessary adjustments.
Life Changes: Update your financial plan in response to significant life changes like marriage, birth of a child, or a change in employment.
Market Conditions: Stay informed about market conditions and adjust your investments accordingly. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to get professional advice.
Avoiding Common Financial Pitfalls
To achieve financial success, it's essential to avoid common financial pitfalls:

High-Interest Debt: Avoid taking on high-interest debt. It can strain your finances and reduce your ability to save and invest.
Impulse Purchases: Stick to your financial plan and avoid impulsive spending. Discipline is crucial for long-term financial success.
Ignoring Inflation: Factor in inflation when planning your savings and investments. Inflation can erode the purchasing power of your money over time.
The Benefits of Regular Funds Through MFD with CFP Credential
Investing in regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential offers several advantages:

Professional Guidance: Access to expert advice and personalized investment strategies.
Active Management: Benefit from the expertise of fund managers who actively select and manage stocks.
Convenience: MFDs handle the administrative aspects of your investments, making the process hassle-free.
Final Insights
Planning your finances is a continuous process that requires regular review and adjustment. By managing your expenses, saving diligently, investing wisely, and ensuring adequate insurance coverage, you can achieve your financial goals and secure your future.

Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. Continue to educate yourself on financial matters and seek professional advice when needed. Remember, a well-planned financial strategy can provide you with peace of mind and a secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3726 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Money
I am planning to buy a luxury car by age of 35. I am a 24 year old guy with 10 LPA package. How much should i save and invest
Ans: Purchasing a luxury car is a dream for many, and it's great that you have set a clear goal for yourself. As a 24-year-old with a package of Rs 10 LPA, you have a solid foundation to build upon. However, buying a luxury car involves significant financial planning and consideration. Let's explore how you can achieve this goal while also ensuring long-term financial stability.

Current Financial Situation and Analysis
Understanding your current financial position is the first step. You earn Rs 10 lakhs per annum, which translates to approximately Rs 83,333 per month before taxes. It's essential to evaluate your monthly expenses, savings, and investments to create a comprehensive plan.

Monthly Income: Rs 83,333 before taxes.
Monthly Expenses: Assess your fixed and variable expenses. This could include rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, entertainment, and other personal expenses.
Setting Clear Financial Goals
Having a clear financial goal is crucial. You want to buy a luxury car by the age of 35. This gives you 11 years to plan and save. However, it's important to balance this goal with other financial objectives such as retirement planning, emergency funds, and potential future expenses like a house or family.

The Concept of Delayed Gratification
A luxury car is an example of instant gratification. While it offers immediate pleasure and status, it is a depreciating asset. Its value decreases over time, and it does not contribute to your long-term wealth. Instead, focusing on delayed gratification can yield better financial results.

Understanding Depreciating Assets
Luxury cars are depreciating assets. They lose value over time, which means the money spent on them does not appreciate. Instead of spending a significant amount on a luxury car now, consider investing that money. Investments can grow over time and potentially fund your luxury car purchase without compromising your financial stability.

Benefits of Investing Early
Investing early allows your money to grow through the power of compounding. By starting now, you can build a substantial corpus over the next 11 years. This approach ensures that you have enough funds for your luxury car while also securing your financial future.

Investment Strategies for Wealth Creation
To achieve your financial goals, consider the following investment strategies:

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Investing in mutual funds through SIPs is a disciplined way to build wealth over time. It allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly, which helps in averaging the cost and mitigating market volatility.

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds invest in stocks and have the potential for high returns. Actively managed equity funds can outperform index funds by selecting high-potential stocks.

Debt Mutual Funds: These funds invest in fixed-income securities and provide stable returns with lower risk. They can balance your investment portfolio.

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt, offering growth potential with reduced risk.

Budgeting and Saving for Your Goal
Creating a detailed budget is essential to track your income and expenses. This helps you identify areas where you can save more. Consider the following steps:

Monthly Savings: Set aside a specific amount each month for your luxury car fund. Automatic transfers to a dedicated savings account can help you stay disciplined.

Reduce Unnecessary Expenses: Analyze your spending habits and cut down on non-essential expenses. This can free up more money for savings and investments.

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund that covers at least six months of your expenses. This ensures financial stability in case of unexpected events.

Long-Term Financial Planning
While saving for a luxury car, it's crucial not to neglect other long-term financial goals. These include retirement planning, buying a house, and other significant expenses. Here's how you can balance multiple financial goals:

Retirement Planning: Start investing in retirement-specific instruments like EPF, PPF, and NPS. These provide long-term benefits and tax advantages.

Diversified Investments: Diversify your investment portfolio to include a mix of equities, debt, and other instruments. This helps in spreading risk and maximizing returns.

Regular Financial Review: Conduct regular reviews of your financial plan. Adjust your savings and investment strategies based on your progress and changing financial situation.

The Importance of Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide professional guidance tailored to your financial goals. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan, select suitable investment options, and ensure you stay on track to achieve your objectives.

Avoiding Common Financial Pitfalls
When planning for a significant purchase like a luxury car, it's essential to avoid common financial pitfalls:

Over-Leverage: Avoid taking on too much debt. High-interest loans can strain your finances and reduce your ability to save and invest.

Impulse Purchases: Stick to your financial plan and avoid impulsive spending. This discipline is crucial for long-term financial success.

Ignoring Inflation: Factor in inflation when planning your savings and investments. Inflation can erode the purchasing power of your money over time.

Understanding the Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds offer low costs and diversification, they may not always outperform the market. Actively managed funds, guided by professional fund managers, can potentially provide higher returns by selecting high-performing stocks.

Benefits of Regular Funds Through MFD with CFP Credential
Investing in regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential offers several advantages:

Professional Guidance: Access to expert advice and personalized investment strategies.

Active Management: Benefit from the expertise of fund managers who actively select and manage stocks.

Convenience: MFDs handle the administrative aspects of your investments, making the process hassle-free.

Final Insights
Purchasing a luxury car is a significant financial decision that requires careful planning and consideration. While it represents a dream and a status symbol, it is also a depreciating asset. By focusing on delayed gratification, disciplined savings, and smart investments, you can achieve your goal without compromising your financial stability.

Start by creating a detailed budget, setting aside savings, and investing in diversified instruments. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to help you navigate your financial journey and make informed decisions. Remember, the key to financial success lies in balancing your short-term desires with long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3726 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I’m a(Female)27-year-old practicing doctor planning to pursue my master’s in the coming year. I have two siblings, aged 23 and 25, who are still studying, and my mother is 55 years old. We have a deposit of 2.6 crore with an average return of 8%. No house loan, Our average monthly expenses are 1.2 lakhs. My mother and one sibling have medical insurance of 15 lakhs. Within three years, I am planning for my marriage. Please help me with saving a corpus for my marriage and increasing our net worth.
Ans: Planning your finances effectively is crucial to ensuring a secure future. As a 27-year-old practicing doctor, you are at a pivotal stage in your life where strategic financial planning can set you on the path to achieving your goals. Here is a comprehensive guide to help you save for your marriage, increase your net worth, and ensure your family's financial security.

Current Financial Situation and Analysis
First, let's assess your current financial situation. You have a deposit of Rs 2.6 crore, which generates an average return of 8% per annum. Your monthly expenses are Rs 1.2 lakhs. Your mother and one sibling have medical insurance of Rs 15 lakhs each.

Your immediate financial goals include saving for your marriage in three years, supporting your siblings' education, and ensuring your family's financial stability.

Monthly Expense Management
Managing your monthly expenses is crucial. Your current monthly expenses of Rs 1.2 lakhs seem reasonable. However, it is essential to review and categorize these expenses to identify areas where you can save.

Fixed Expenses: Rent, utilities, groceries, and transportation. These are non-negotiable and need to be budgeted accordingly.

Variable Expenses: Dining out, entertainment, and shopping. These can be managed and reduced if necessary.

Discretionary Expenses: Luxury items and vacations. These should be minimized to focus on your savings goals.

Creating a detailed monthly budget and tracking your spending can help you manage your expenses better and increase your savings.

Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is essential for financial security. This fund should cover at least six months of your monthly expenses, which amounts to Rs 7.2 lakhs. An emergency fund can protect you and your family from unexpected financial setbacks.

Saving for Your Marriage
Planning for your marriage in three years requires a dedicated savings strategy. Here are steps to ensure you have sufficient funds:

Estimate the Cost: Determine the estimated cost of your marriage. Consider all expenses, including venue, catering, attire, and other miscellaneous costs.

Create a Dedicated Fund: Open a separate savings account for your marriage expenses. This will help you track your progress and ensure the funds are not used for other purposes.

Regular Contributions: Set up automatic transfers to this account from your monthly income. This disciplined approach will ensure you steadily build your marriage fund.

Investment Strategies for Growth
To increase your net worth, it's crucial to invest your savings wisely. Here are some strategies to consider:

Diversified Mutual Funds: Investing in diversified mutual funds can provide good returns. Actively managed funds, guided by professional fund managers, can outperform index funds by selecting high-potential stocks.

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds invest in stocks and have the potential for high returns. They are suitable for long-term goals like wealth creation.

Debt Mutual Funds: These funds invest in fixed-income securities. They are less volatile and can provide stable returns, balancing the risk in your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Investing through SIPs allows you to invest a fixed amount regularly. This helps in averaging the cost of investment and mitigates market volatility.

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt. They offer the potential for growth with reduced risk.

Insurance and Risk Management
Adequate insurance coverage is vital to protect your family's financial future. Here are some insurance strategies:

Health Insurance: Ensure that you and all your family members have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical expenses can be a significant financial burden without proper insurance.

Life Insurance: If you have any life insurance policies, review them to ensure they provide sufficient coverage. Term insurance is recommended as it offers high coverage at low premiums.

Disability Insurance: Consider purchasing disability insurance to protect your income in case of an unexpected disability that prevents you from working.

Financial Goals and Retirement Planning
Setting clear financial goals is essential for your long-term financial security. Here are some steps to achieve your financial goals:

Short-Term Goals: These include saving for your marriage and your siblings' education. Prioritize these goals and allocate funds accordingly.

Medium-Term Goals: Consider your plans for purchasing a house or other significant expenses. Start saving for these goals early.

Long-Term Goals: Retirement planning is crucial. Even though you are young, starting early can help you build a substantial retirement corpus.

Retirement Planning
To ensure a comfortable retirement, consider these strategies:

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): If you are employed, contribute to the EPF. This government-backed scheme provides a safe and steady return.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): This is another government-backed scheme with attractive interest rates and tax benefits. It has a lock-in period of 15 years, making it suitable for long-term savings.

National Pension System (NPS): This scheme offers a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. It provides tax benefits and a regular income post-retirement.

Mutual Funds for Retirement: Invest in retirement-specific mutual funds that offer a mix of equity and debt. These funds aim to provide growth and stability over the long term.

Supporting Your Siblings' Education
Your siblings' education is a significant financial responsibility. Here are steps to ensure they have the funds they need:

Education Loans: Explore education loans for your siblings. These loans can provide the necessary funds without straining your finances.

Scholarships and Grants: Research scholarships and grants available for their courses. This can significantly reduce the cost of education.

Savings Plans: Set up dedicated savings plans for their education expenses. Regular contributions can help you build a substantial education fund.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can help you save money and increase your net worth. Here are some tax-saving strategies:

Section 80C: Invest in tax-saving instruments like PPF, EPF, National Savings Certificate (NSC), and tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) to avail deductions under Section 80C.

Section 80D: Claim deductions on health insurance premiums paid for yourself and your family under Section 80D.

Home Loan Interest: If you plan to take a home loan, claim deductions on the interest paid under Section 24(b) and the principal repayment under Section 80C.

Other Deductions: Utilize other available deductions like education loan interest (Section 80E) and donations (Section 80G).

Increasing Your Net Worth
Increasing your net worth involves a combination of saving, investing, and managing your liabilities. Here are some tips:

Regular Savings: Ensure you save a portion of your income regularly. This disciplined approach can significantly boost your savings over time.

Smart Investments: Invest your savings in high-potential instruments like mutual funds, stocks, and bonds. Diversify your portfolio to balance risk and return.

Avoid Debt: Minimize your debt and avoid unnecessary loans. High-interest debt can erode your savings and reduce your net worth.

Increase Income: Explore opportunities to increase your income. This could include taking on additional work, starting a side business, or investing in income-generating assets.

Regular Financial Review
Regularly reviewing your financial plan is crucial to ensure you stay on track to achieve your goals. Here are some tips:

Annual Review: Conduct an annual review of your financial plan. Assess your progress towards your goals and make necessary adjustments.

Life Changes: Update your financial plan in response to significant life changes like marriage, birth of a child, or a change in employment.

Market Conditions: Stay informed about market conditions and adjust your investments accordingly. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to get professional advice.

Final Insights
Planning your finances is a continuous process that requires regular review and adjustment. By managing your expenses, saving diligently, investing wisely, and ensuring adequate insurance coverage, you can achieve your financial goals and secure your family's future.

Your proactive approach to financial planning is commendable. Continue to educate yourself on financial matters and seek professional advice when needed. Remember, a well-planned financial strategy can provide you with peace of mind and a secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3726 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, I am Avinash 40 year old IT professional and wishes to retire in next 5-10 years. I do have 38 lakh MF investments, I stay in own house on bangalore. I do not have any liabilities. I have 45 lakh worth EPS and 20 lakh worth PPF. Invested in NPS both tier 1 and 2 for 5 lakh each. I do have SGB worth 6 lakh. But I do have 50 lakh amount invested in FD. I want to invest some amount to invest to other asset class may be equity. I want to retire with corpus of 4 cr and my monthly expenditure in 50k. Pls guide.
Ans: Dear Avinash,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your financial details and retirement goals. It’s impressive that you have planned your finances well and have a clear vision for your future. Let’s analyze your current situation and chart a strategic path towards achieving your retirement corpus of Rs 4 crore, while also ensuring a smooth retirement with monthly expenses of Rs 50,000.

Understanding Your Current Financial Landscape
You have diversified your investments across various asset classes, which is commendable. Let's break down your current financial standing:

Mutual Funds: Rs 38 lakh
EPS: Rs 45 lakh
PPF: Rs 20 lakh
NPS: Rs 10 lakh (5 lakh each in Tier 1 and 2)
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB): Rs 6 lakh
Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs 50 lakh
Your total current investments amount to Rs 169 lakh (1.69 crore). You have no liabilities, which is a strong position to be in.

Evaluating Your Investment Portfolio
Mutual Funds
Your Rs 38 lakh investment in mutual funds is a solid foundation. Given your retirement timeline of 5-10 years, it’s crucial to ensure your mutual funds are aligned with your risk tolerance and retirement goals. Active management of these funds can offer potential benefits over index funds. Actively managed funds, run by experienced fund managers, can adapt to market conditions and potentially outperform benchmarks. This flexibility can be advantageous in achieving higher returns, essential for meeting your retirement target.

EPS and PPF
Your EPS of Rs 45 lakh and PPF of Rs 20 lakh are stable, low-risk investments providing security and tax benefits. However, they may not offer the high returns needed to reach your Rs 4 crore goal. The PPF, with its assured returns and tax benefits, should continue to be part of your portfolio, but relying solely on these for growth could be limiting.

NPS
The NPS is another excellent retirement tool, offering a mix of equity and debt exposure. Given your contributions, it’s vital to ensure that the asset allocation within your NPS is optimal. Typically, the equity portion of NPS can offer higher returns compared to its debt counterpart, but it's essential to balance it according to your risk tolerance.

Sovereign Gold Bonds
Your Rs 6 lakh investment in SGBs is a good hedge against inflation and market volatility. However, gold typically offers moderate returns compared to equities and should be a part of a diversified portfolio rather than a core growth driver.

Fixed Deposits
You have Rs 50 lakh in fixed deposits, which are safe but offer lower returns compared to other investment avenues like equities or actively managed mutual funds. To achieve your retirement goal, it might be beneficial to redirect a portion of these funds into higher-yielding investments.

Strategic Recommendations for Achieving Rs 4 Crore
Diversify into Equity Mutual Funds
Given your Rs 50 lakh in FDs, consider reallocating a significant portion to equity mutual funds. Equity mutual funds, especially actively managed ones, have the potential to provide higher returns over the long term. While FDs offer safety, the low returns may not suffice to reach your Rs 4 crore target. Actively managed equity mutual funds, with professional fund managers, can navigate market complexities better and aim for higher growth.

Optimize Your NPS Allocation
Review and possibly adjust your NPS Tier 1 and Tier 2 allocations to ensure a higher equity component. This can enhance the growth potential of your NPS contributions. Given the tax benefits and long-term growth prospects of NPS, a higher equity allocation can significantly impact your retirement corpus positively.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Periodic review and rebalancing of your portfolio are essential. Market conditions change, and so should your investment strategy. By regularly assessing your portfolio, you can ensure it remains aligned with your goals and risk tolerance. This proactive approach can help in mitigating risks and capitalizing on growth opportunities.

Consider Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in equity mutual funds can be an excellent way to enter the market gradually, reducing the impact of market volatility. With Rs 50 lakh in FDs, you can systematically transfer a portion into SIPs. This disciplined approach can harness the power of compounding and rupee cost averaging, enhancing your portfolio’s growth potential.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Ensure that a part of your FDs or a separate liquid fund acts as an emergency fund. This fund should cover at least 6-12 months of your monthly expenses. Having a robust emergency fund ensures that you do not have to dip into your retirement corpus for unexpected expenses, maintaining the integrity of your long-term financial plans.

Addressing Potential Concerns and Misconceptions
Disadvantages of Index Funds
While index funds are often lauded for their low costs and simplicity, they lack the flexibility of actively managed funds. Index funds are designed to match market returns, not exceed them. In a volatile market, actively managed funds have the advantage of making strategic moves to potentially outperform the index. Therefore, in your case, actively managed equity funds might be a better choice to achieve your ambitious retirement goal.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct mutual funds, while having lower expense ratios, require a good understanding of the market and regular monitoring. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide professional expertise and guidance. A CFP can help in selecting the right funds, regular monitoring, and making necessary adjustments based on market conditions and your changing financial goals. The added value of professional advice often outweighs the cost difference between direct and regular funds.

Ensuring a Comfortable Retirement
Monthly Withdrawal Strategy
Post-retirement, it’s crucial to have a systematic withdrawal strategy to manage your Rs 50,000 monthly expenses without depleting your corpus prematurely. An SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) in mutual funds can provide a regular income stream while keeping your corpus invested and growing. This strategy can ensure a steady cash flow while your investments continue to appreciate.

Inflation and Tax Considerations
Your retirement plan should factor in inflation and taxes. The Rs 50,000 monthly expense today will increase over time due to inflation. Therefore, your investments should grow at a rate higher than inflation. Additionally, tax-efficient investment strategies can help in maximizing your returns. For instance, long-term capital gains on equity mutual funds are taxed favorably compared to interest income from FDs.

Healthcare and Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical expenses can significantly impact your retirement corpus. A comprehensive health insurance policy can safeguard your investments. Additionally, if you hold any investment-cum-insurance policies like LIC or ULIPs, consider surrendering them and reinvesting the proceeds into mutual funds. These policies often offer lower returns and higher costs compared to pure investment options.

Final Insights
Achieving your goal of a Rs 4 crore retirement corpus is ambitious yet achievable with strategic planning and disciplined investing. By diversifying your portfolio into actively managed equity mutual funds, optimizing your NPS allocation, and systematically transferring funds from low-yield FDs, you can enhance your portfolio's growth potential. Regular reviews and professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner can further align your investments with your retirement goals.

Remember, retirement planning is not just about accumulating a corpus but also ensuring a steady, inflation-adjusted income post-retirement. By following a strategic approach and making informed decisions, you can look forward to a comfortable and financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |359 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Listen
Career
Hi, Indian Statistical Institute has launched a new course this year called “Bachelor of Statistical Data Sciences”. My son wants to keep it as backup plan if not successful in IIT JEE. Can you please suggest if it is worth to take admission for BSDS once get selected? What are the future prospects of this course.
Ans: Indian Statistical Institute is one of the best Institutes in India, recognized as one of the Institutes of National Importance in 1959 itself. As such, your Son can go for it. However, please go through its Admission Process / Eligibility Criteria / Entrance Exam / Interview / GD etc. to prepare himself well-in-advance. Being a very old and reputed Institute, COMPETITION (All Over India) will definitely be there a limited number of Seats. All The BEST for your Son’s Bright Future.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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