Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years.
Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.
My in-laws are not very friendly people.
After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house.
My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.
My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well.
I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work.
My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.
Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.
Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.
I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing.
In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.
I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.
Please provide your valuable suggestions.