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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Hi Anu...i hv been reading ur expertise to solve the issues of people and am really impressed. We have been married for 19years now and have a son and daughter .From the start of the marriage my wife have been inclined towards her mother and her family paying less or no heed to us. Circumstances were also favorable to her and she always got the opportunity to stay close and visit her parents often which i did not mind.We lived in Mumbai and she is from Chennai.After marriage my mom-in-law used to continuosly interfere into our lives by calling her and she used to act as per her suggestions only which led to problems as she was a puppet in the hands of my Mom-in-law. Moreover since my mom-in-law was not in good health my wife tried not to over rule as she did not want her mom to feel sick as she doesnt like to be over ruled or by pass failing which she goes on hunger strike and stop taking tablets spoiling her own health. Due to this reason everybody has been appeasing her.Initially i thought to ignore but slowly it started to affect my family as well as my wife started to see things thru my mom-in-laws perspective and find faults in everything. We shifted to overseas to stay away from all these and we really had a good life for 10 years there but since i lost job during covid i had to shift base to India for my son's education but she chose to stay back there with my daughter as she is working there.I too felt that let her spend some time so that i could settle things in India and call her but it is more than 2 years now and she refuses to come back and dont even care for us and neither call us as family. I tried to involve my in-laws to convince her but they are also playing a diplomatic game and doesnt want to go against their daughter's wish.Due to this attitude of my mom-in-law their own daughter-in-laws have been staying away and since my in-laws stay alone my wife feels that she is the only support system for her parents but it has come on my life's sacrifice. She has been ignoring us and even i kept moving for the sake of my family and children instead of respecting my feelings she has become more adamant now.Her brother is also seperated from her wife and he also looks forward for a support system from my daughter and my wife and they seem close ignoring myself and my son.We have been trying to convince her thru all means but she is caring. Even i feel that it is futile to force someone into relationship but she unknowingly spoiling my family and deprieve my son the mother;s love and also depreive my daughter from affection and love.Due to this my son has also stopped expecting from her and my daughter treats me as a stranger due to long distance. Pls suggest the way forward. Shud i wait for things to improve or leave as it is.I am 47 now and she is 45..told her that let us enjoy the best things in life rather than regretting later but she does not understand.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Logic does not appeal to your wife!
What can you do with someone who is adamant about ruining her own family life? It's purely clouded judgement on her part on what to do and not!
With more people dependent on your wife for support, she has found a way of moving even more away from you...what I do not understand is: how is she able to do that to your son?

Either the two of you talk this out and take firm decisions OR accept that this is how it's going to be...sooner or later, she will realize what is happening and will become more aware of her priorities. But, being where you are is painful and it will stress you even more...So, find a way to talk things out is a step that you can take NOW!

Impress upon her as to how important it is keep the family together as a unit for the children to grow in a healthy manner and also how much this time investment will help the two of you as a couple.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 31 years old.. married for one and a half year, it was an arranged marriage, when my father came he was well and clear that my daughter studies or works for long hours she don’t like household chores but she earns well so can pay for help.. that time my mother in law was all happy and said I will help her, she’ll be like my child and all that... my husband also used to assure me that you will be treated really well, if you are working no body gonna point out, we are very modern. My mother in law is very modern she used to wear jeans and shorts and her Devrani lived in ghunghat... My mother in law hates everyone in her family, devarani, jethani, nanad, her own late mother in law father in law, her own mother, father, brothers, sisters, their spouses, their children... everyone. Yet my husband doesn’t understand she is doing wrong, I come from a big family... people fight and next day come back together... here it’s very very hard to survive in this negativity. Once I went home, because here I wasn’t getting enough time to study due to household chores... then behind me she created scenes telling .. your wife has disrespected me, didn’t eat anything for 15-20 days then my husband got angry on me... we fought and he blocked me, no contact between us for months. My parents came once to talk but she was too loud and insulting that they got sure we are NOT sending back our daughter to such house. Then our relatives interfered, sat together and found out there was no major problem everybody laughed.. saying we are not able to find any issue, but my mother in law still kept on complaining for continuously 4 hours... she was all negative.. I can back home, I know all I have to do is ignore her rest everything is okay to live by.. But I have lost trust on my husband,I know if he left me once, he can leave me again....living here is very difficult with all the hate, nobody comes to house for dinners.. it’s alone and hateful. I don’t say anything because that will only elevate the problem. It’s hell living here.. they all sit together and talk and when I go everyone shuts.. although I don’t care what that are talking about, I don’t give a rat’s ass even if they’re bitching about me. It’s just all negative and I wanna run away from here.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is your question for me here?
I have got the point that there is a lot of hate and negativity at your in-laws place and that it is far different from how you were raised. Also, that your husband blindly sides with his mother bothers you. But I will try and put things in perspective and make suggestions here.

Now, understand that certain families are the way that they are and unfortunately you have come into a place where people are isolated from one another and talk behind each other's backs.
Are you in a position to change all of this especially when you have realized that your husband isn't someone who is on your side?
So, when you can't change something, the only way to get through all of this peacefully is to accept it. But, that is the things that you are struggling with already and yes, it is understandable from your point of view.
Have an honest conversation with your husband; I am sure he is interested in making his marriage work too. That's the first step to actually make him aware that all this is affecting you.
Let's say, he is not bothered by it all and continues to go about all of this without realizing that he has a wife and he is also responsible towards the marriage, try and suggest getting to a professional (But do realize that the professional will not be able to change the way your husband's home functions). This is only getting the bond between you and your husband stronger so that you can be on the same side weathering the environment around you.
Now, if he refuses this intervention...then the onus is on you...what and how you see your life is totally a choice that you must make.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

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Hi Anu, After reading a lot of your responses I started to believe that you probably have a solution to my complex problem I am 42 yr old and wife 40 and we live in AUS. We have 2 beautiful, smart kids 11 and 7. She is a nice person but not very smart to think what should we care and what not care and live a happy life. A few years ago my mom from India used to visit how used to complain about my in-laws about how rude they are how they not keep in touch at all and all that. This is absolutely true because I saw that myself. But my wife being a loving daughter thinks none of that is true and my mom is lying. 10 years ago my dad passed away after 2 months of lot of suffering from cancer, my wife was pregnant here at the same time in AUS. I had to go to India to spend with time with my dad during his last days.One unbelievable truth is when I was performing funeral rituals on on side my father in law was telling all my close visitors that I am not talking/calling much to my wife during these days to AUS. All those guests told me about it. But my father-in-law says that he never said those things to visitors and they are all lying. My wife firmly believes that they are all lying. When I talked to him in person he agreed that he said those things. He is never nice to our family. He never even offered help to my family when my dad was suffering. All that a side, realizing that me and my family is disturbed a lot, none of my family members are saying anything to her just so that we are happy and nothing bothers us. It's been 2 1/2 years like that. But she is not ready for forget what happened in the past and live a happy family life. Despite suffering I myself tell her to forget all that happened and I never talk about past things. But she still clings on to those thoughts. My kids are suffering now. To keep my family happy, I try to make fun , talk to her, go places and all that. But with those past thoughts she turned into a heartless person. Please help. Tell me where, what and how can I/we fix this.
Ans: Dear Harsha,
Thank you for the acknowledgement.
My suggestion to you: Start afresh!
Digging what happened only puts your wife in the spotlight...maybe she wasn't at her best and things went downhill, but it will not give her the chance to rework things and integrate back into the family.
So, press the RESET button and along with the kids, focus on your family...what her father said or not, what someone should have done or not; let it be done and dusted.
For relationships to work and move, both parties involved, must make that choice to leave the past behind, else the shadows keep growing and casting a cloud over something that is healthy and has a chance to grow beautifully.
Does this make sense here? If I tell you to go down the path and confront her about her father, she will get defensive and this thing will get ugly and perhaps backfire.
Are you willing to start afresh is the question here? If YES, what will this do for you? Now, you know what to do...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Hi Anu, Im 27yrs old. I have been married for 1.5 yrs. Me and my husband live abroad. I grew up abroad for a great deal of my life and all members of my family are post graduate degree holders from renowned universities. Recently my mother-in-law came to visit us, she is staying for 6 months. My husband prior to marriage said that his mother is educated when I asked him. Post marriage I found out she studied only till 10th and married my father-in-law who is deceased. Since her arrival, my mother-in-law’s behaviour has been very weird. 1. She once told me that in their caste Kshatriyas ( we had an inter-caste marriage) its very common for the men to have 2 wives and mistresses. This was said totally out if context. Couple of days later she mentioned that her husband had a mistress. 2. She asks me questions about why things are the way they are and why are they like that. I find it very difficult to answer to her questions at the same time I don’t want to sound condescending. 3. She complained to my mother that my husband and I are using up too much ghee and oil. She blames that I made her son fat. My husband likes to have everything deep fried when I don’t do as he asks he throws a fit like a child and refuses to eat. Now I realised why, she deep fries almost everything, bhindi, potato, gobi, arvi, and even brinjal. 4. She also mentions that some relative of their was going to give then 2kg gold dowry to marry her son. I asked her why didn’t she accept it then. They she covered up saying that our engagement was already done by then. Again recently, she was talking to her sister on the phone and was saying that a girl is really beautiful and she was considering her for my husband but he liked me. All while I was literally in front of her. 5. She tries to take over the kitchen, she wants to wash dishes by hand and there is food residue all over. She doesn't want me to use the dishwasher. When I pointedly out that there is residue all dried up on the mixer blade, she covered it up saying that its powder. 6. I asked her not to put oil or ghee on the roti pan when making rotis as its ruining the pan and to ghee after the roti is cooked. She still went ahead and melted butter and poured it on the pan and made rotis. She said that they are not puffing up without the oil. I tried it out myself and I discovered that she lied. Dishonesty is my biggest peeve. I have no respect for her now. I don’t understand why she behaves the way she does. She also expects me to listen to all her stories and express interest in her superstitions. She on the other hand shows total disregard to what I say. My parents want me to be nice to her as she is a widow and has only her son and daughter. She is not nice to her daughter. My sister in law does not want to live with her in laws and my mother-in-laws laughs when she calls her crying. I have witnessed her gas lighting her daughter on many occasions. Once my husband asked her is the sister can come stay at home with her back in India and my mother-in-law said that she does not want her daughter in the house because she is a burden. My mother in law also keeps telling me that I should press her son’s legs as it will give Lakshmi. Once he took food from my plate I told him to put it back and get his own, she said its a Maha paap to snatch from husband’s mouth. She uses this Mahapaap whenever I ask my husband to help around the house. I don’t know how to communicate this with my husband and how to deal with her. He believes he needs to provide everything his mom wants and give her the world because she went thru difficulties after their dad’s passing. However my mother in law believes her life got better after her husband’s passing. She says that her husband was abusive to her physically, emotionally and financially. What do I do?
Ans: Dear DD,
Some space is necessary to be away from people who display less empathy. It keeps the relationship healthier.
You will usually find me guiding people towards one another first BUT at times maintaining a healthy distance can save relationships. Your mother-in-law can become the cause for stress within your marriage as you will have no one to take your complaints to other than your husband. He is obviously not going to take it that easily...
Also the fact that your mother-in-law herself hasn't held a steady marriage is going to be a constant source of more stresses as she is very likely to expect special treatment from her son and you.
She needs to work on her mind and that's too much to expect of her. It's wise to keep some distance and over time, she may wish to re-build relationships with everyone and live in harmony.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2025
Relationship
Hi Mam, I am a south indian married to marathi. It's been over 14 years of marriage with a 3 year old son. After marriage, we stayed away from in law's for 8 to 9 years. During Covid, we shifted back to my in laws place. Things were okay for few months but then my MIL started creating issues ....small issues wherein there was no mistake of mine. Then Covid 2nd wave happened. I lost my younger sister and father to Covid. At that time my husband supported me a lot but my MIL was constantly taunting me that I am only crying and not doing any household work. To carry on my routine, I found a job WFH. But due to WFH, she always used to disturb me and ask to do house hold chores which led to me getting stressed and couldn't focus on work. I became pregnant and she started behaving weirdly Things fell apart, me and my husband rented an apartment nearby and stayed and we managed my pregnancy and childbirth and child caring all on by our own. 2 years back, my FIL suddenly passed away, which means we had to shift back again to stay with MIL. In the beginning I thought things will change, but she is started behaving more weirdly. I ignored it. She expects me to do everything for her and doesn't even allow me to keep a maid whereas I was living comfortable life when we were living separately. I am taking classes from home and its difficult to manage everything as I work about 8 hours a day, plus take care of my child plus do household chores. Mu husband will not stay separately because she is alone now. She expects me to do everything but if i talk in my language with my son, she doesn't like it. Last week she told me don't teach him your language, I hate your language and we didn't want you, you only came in our life. Hearing this I felt really bad. I lost my mother at an early age to cancer, I lost my father and sister to Covid This is how she behaves with me. I cannot call or talk to anyone about this and I am getting frustrated. I feel teaching my language and culture is the only connect i have with my mother and my family and she is not allowing me to do that My husband is supportive but currently he is having some stress at Work so I don't want to talk to him about this. Please help
Ans: This situation is not sustainable. You are burning out, emotionally and physically. You may need to have a clear, calm, but firm conversation with your husband soon. Let him know that you are not trying to hurt anyone or run away from responsibility. You’re asking for basic respect and the emotional space to breathe, to live as an equal in your own home.

If moving out again isn't possible immediately, then set some boundaries inside the home. Claim time and space that are yours, especially when you're working. Re-establish your right to speak your language, to teach your child your culture. It’s not just your right—it’s his heritage.

You are not wrong to want peace, and you're not selfish for needing help. You’re a daughter, a mother, a wife—and you're also a woman who deserves compassion, support, and room to live without apology. Please don’t carry this silently any longer. If not with friends or family, consider talking to a counselor online. You’ve carried too much on your own already. It’s time to ask for space, for support—and for healing.

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Pankaj

Pankaj Vyavahare  |18 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor, Life Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2026Hindi
Career
My Daughter is in 12th currently and has completed her 1st Jee attempt and has scored 78.82 she will be attending the 2nd attempt in April. I want her to do well in her CBSE boards and join a good college in Bangalore where we reside taking the subject of her choice. However she is bent upon taking a drop this year which we feel is not a good idea considering her 1st attempt scores. She says she is willing to join any college even after taking a drop and if she is not able to score well which I feel is wasting 1 years of her academics. Kindly advise or suggest what is right for her please.
Ans: Namaste
First of all I must appreciate your thought of not wasting 1 years through Gap/Drop. Its absolutely meaningless and even creates future bad consequences for abroad education or opportunity. We are not in a position to justify our gap. Anyhow you have mentioned her JEE 1st attempt result. It shows that either her study is moderate in PCM subjects or she can make her career in remaining 16 career clusters. If it was 95 and above in her 1st attempt, she could make more good in her 2nd JEE attempt.
It will be better if she thinks twice about her passion and abilities. It’s high time to think and take decision. She can take admission in other than IIT/NIT institutes. There are many good colleges in Banglore too.
Not every one become engineer. But everyone can see his/her inner strength, passion for something better required by world. We can work for betterment of the world, throgh what we have good amount with us. Please find that"Good One"

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |186 Answers  |Ask -

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Samraat Jadhav  |2554 Answers  |Ask -

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11054 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Money
I hv a lic jeevan suraksha policy which started in 2001 and ended in 2006. I am 78 years. Should I surrender or keep it till I am alive.
Ans: You have maintained a policy from 2001. That shows discipline. At age 78, the focus should now be income stability, simplicity, and peace of mind.

Let us understand this clearly.

» Understanding Your Policy Status

– Policy started in 2001
– Premium payment ended in 2006
– Now you are 78 years

So this is a fully paid-up policy. You are not paying anything now.

Main question is:
Does it give regular income?
Or does it give only maturity or death benefit?

This clarity is very important before deciding.

» If It Is Giving Lifetime Pension

If the policy is giving you regular pension income:

– Continue it
– Do not surrender
– At 78, guaranteed income is valuable
– Market-linked reinvestment may not be suitable

Because at this age, capital safety is more important than return.

» If It Is Only Giving Lump Sum on Death

If it is only a small death benefit and no income:

– Check surrender value
– Compare surrender value with death benefit

At 78, insurance need is almost zero. Your dependents may not need life cover now.

In such case:

– If surrender value is reasonable, you may consider surrender
– Amount can be moved to safe income generating instrument
– Keep liquidity for medical and personal expenses

» Important Questions to Ask LIC

Before taking decision, confirm:

– What is current surrender value?
– What is paid-up sum assured?
– Any bonuses accumulated?
– What is death benefit amount?

Take a written statement.

» Health and Liquidity Consideration

At 78:

– Medical expenses can increase suddenly
– Emergency liquidity is very important
– Keep money easily accessible

Do not lock money unnecessarily.

» Emotional Aspect

Many people keep old policies because of emotional attachment. That is natural.

But decision should be practical:

– Is it serving purpose?
– Is it giving meaningful income?
– Or is it just lying idle?

» Final Insights

If policy is giving steady lifetime pension, continue peacefully.

If it is only small death cover with low benefit, surrender and move funds into:

– Bank fixed deposits
– Short-term debt mutual funds
– Senior citizen savings schemes

At this stage of life, simplicity and liquidity matter more than return.

You have already built assets over many years. Now the goal is protection and comfort.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11054 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Money
Dear Sir, I (aged 60 yrs) have a Plan for my daughter marriage during June 2027. I have various mutual funds under the category of Small, Mid, Large and Agg Hybrids, Thematics which have a decent as well as moderate returns. How & When to Plan to withdraw Rs 25 lacs safely from them and kept for marriage time and Where to park it to get further helathy returns upto that period? Help me for the roadmap to withdraw and kept safely. Thqs in adv for the reply.
Ans: You have planned in advance for your daughter’s marriage. That shows responsibility and clarity. At age 60, protecting capital is more important than chasing return. Now your focus must be safety first, growth next.

June 2027 is not very far. So we must reduce risk step by step.

» Understanding the Time Frame

– Today to June 2027 is roughly around 1.5 to 2 years
– This is short-term period
– Equity markets can be volatile in this time

Since the goal date is fixed, we cannot take risk of market fall just before marriage.

» Risk in Your Current Portfolio

You mentioned:

– Small cap funds
– Mid cap funds
– Large cap funds
– Aggressive hybrid funds
– Thematic funds

Small cap and thematic funds are highly volatile. Even mid cap can fall sharply in short period.

If market corrects 20% to 30%, your marriage corpus may get disturbed. That risk is not acceptable now.

» When to Start Withdrawal

Do not wait till 2027.

Start systematic withdrawal planning from now itself.

Roadmap:

– Immediately identify the funds which have highest volatility (small cap, thematic)
– Start redeeming them first
– Gradually shift large cap and hybrid funds also

Complete full shifting at least 9 to 12 months before marriage.

By mid 2026, the full Rs 25 lakhs should be in safe instruments.

» How to Withdraw Smartly

– Redeem in phased manner over next 6 to 9 months
– Avoid withdrawing entire amount in one day
– Use market rallies to redeem

Also keep taxation in mind:

– Equity LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Equity STCG taxed at 20%

Plan redemption in such a way that tax impact is controlled. Spread across financial years if needed.

» Where to Park the Money Safely

Since goal is short term, safety is priority.

Suitable parking options:

– Short duration debt mutual funds
– Money market funds
– Bank fixed deposits (laddered maturity)
– Senior citizen savings schemes (if liquidity allows)

Debt mutual funds are more flexible than FD. But remember:

– Debt fund gains taxed as per your income slab

So if your tax slab is high, compare with FD post-tax return before deciding.

» Should You Continue in Equity Till 2027?

No.

Equity is good for long-term wealth. But for fixed event like marriage, equity is risky.

Marriage date will not change based on market condition. So capital protection is key.

» Liquidity Planning

– Keep at least 3 to 6 months of marriage expenses in savings account by early 2027
– Keep rest in short-term instrument maturing near wedding date

This avoids last minute stress.

» 360 Degree Check

Apart from marriage fund, ensure:

– Emergency fund separate and untouched
– Health insurance adequate at age 60
– Retirement corpus not disturbed for marriage

Very important point:
Do not compromise your retirement comfort for one-time event.

Children’s marriage is important. But your lifetime income security is more important.

» Finally

Your action plan should be:

– Start gradual redemption now
– Exit high-risk funds first
– Move full Rs 25 lakhs to safe instruments by mid 2026
– Focus on capital protection, not high return
– Keep liquidity ready before event

If executed properly, you will attend your daughter’s marriage peacefully, without worrying about market conditions.

That peace of mind is more valuable than extra return.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11054 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Money
Hi Sir, i am Accountant, i am married , i have one kid with age of 3, now i am planing to add some funds in my portfolio, can you advice is this correct. 1 .icici produncial blue chip fund 2 . zerodha nifty 250 elss fund 3 . parag parik flexicap fund 4. axix gold and silver fund can i go long term this funds or need to rebalance my protfolio, if rebalance what fund you suggest.
Ans: You are thinking about adding quality funds at a young age. That itself is a very good step. As an Accountant, you already understand numbers. Now we must make sure your portfolio structure supports your family goals — especially with a 3-year-old child.

Let us review your selection carefully.

» Understanding the Current Fund Choices

You have selected:

– Large cap fund
– Nifty 250 ELSS fund
– Flexi cap fund
– Gold and silver fund

This shows you want diversification. That is good. But we must see whether the combination is efficient or overlapping.

» Large Cap Fund

A large cap fund gives stability. It invests in top companies.

– Suitable for long-term wealth creation
– Lower volatility compared to mid and small cap
– Good core portfolio fund

You can continue this for long term.

» ELSS Fund (Nifty 250 based)

This is an index-based ELSS fund.

Here I want to explain clearly:

Disadvantages of index-based funds:
– They simply copy the index. No active decision making.
– No downside protection during market fall.
– You will always get average returns, never better than index.
– In falling markets, no fund manager strategy to protect capital.

Benefits of actively managed funds over index funds:
– Fund manager selects quality stocks.
– Can reduce exposure to risky sectors.
– Can hold cash in extreme conditions.
– Aim to generate alpha (extra return over index).

Since you are investing for long-term goals like child education and retirement, active management is better suited.

So instead of index-based ELSS, you may consider an actively managed diversified equity fund (if tax saving is required, choose active ELSS only).

» Flexi Cap Fund

This is a strong category for long-term investors.

– Freedom to move between large, mid, small caps
– Dynamic allocation based on market conditions
– Good for 10+ year goals

You can continue this as core growth engine.

» Gold and Silver Fund

Gold and silver are not growth assets. They are hedging assets.

– Good for risk control
– Protects during equity crash
– But long-term return is lower than equity

Keep allocation limited. Around 5% to 10% of portfolio is enough. Do not over allocate.

» Portfolio Overlap & Balance

Current structure is heavy in large cap and diversified equity. That is fine.

But you are missing:

– Dedicated mid cap exposure
– Dedicated small cap exposure (if risk appetite allows)
– Debt allocation for stability

Since you have a small child, safety bucket is important.

You should structure portfolio like this:

– 50% to 60% core diversified equity (large + flexi cap)
– 20% to 25% mid cap fund (active)
– 5% to 10% small cap fund (only if you can tolerate volatility)
– 10% to 20% debt fund or safe instrument for stability
– 5% to 10% gold

This creates proper balance.

» Rebalancing Strategy

– Review once in a year
– If any category grows too much, bring it back to original allocation
– Rebalance slowly, not frequently

Also remember taxation:

– Equity LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Equity STCG taxed at 20%

So avoid unnecessary churn.

» Important 360-Degree Checks

Before adding new funds, ensure:

– Emergency fund of at least 6 months expenses
– Adequate term insurance
– Health insurance for full family
– Child education goal planning
– Retirement planning

Investment is only one part of financial planning.

» Finally

Your fund selection shows maturity. Only small corrections are needed:

– Replace index-based ELSS with active diversified fund
– Add mid cap exposure
– Keep gold limited
– Add some debt stability

With disciplined SIP and annual review, you can comfortably build wealth for your child’s future and your retirement.

Stay consistent. Long-term wealth is created by discipline, not excitement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11054 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Money
my age is 38 i have a 5 year old boy and planning for 2nd baby next year. Having monthly family income of 50k. how should i allocate for expenses and investment for retirement as well as for kids education , marriage and a house of 1 crore in next 5 years. Having aged parents also living with me.
Ans: It is great that you are thinking about your family's future at 38. Taking care of aged parents while planning for a second child shows a lot of heart and responsibility. Your desire to provide a Rs. 1 crore house and secure your children's life is a big goal, and having this clarity now is the first step toward making it happen.

» Understanding your current situation

Your monthly income is Rs. 50k. You have a 5-year-old son, a baby on the way, and elderly parents. This means your money has to do many things at once. A 360-degree plan is needed to balance daily bills with your big dreams. Since your income is fixed for now, we must be very careful about how every rupee is spent.

» Managing monthly expenses and emergency funds

With a growing family, your monthly costs for food, medicine for parents, and school fees will go up. It is important to keep aside some money for emergencies first. This should be at least six months of your expenses in a safe place. This protects your family if something unexpected happens, so you do not have to stop your investments.

» Protecting your family with insurance

Before investing, you must have pure term life insurance and a good health insurance policy. Since you have aged parents and a young child, a medical emergency could hurt your savings. Having a separate health cover for your parents and a family floater for your wife and kids is very important. This ensures your investment plan for the house and education stays on track.

» Planning for the Rs. 1 crore house

Buying a Rs. 1 crore house in 5 years is a very large goal for an income of Rs. 50k per month. To reach this, you would need to save a very high amount every month, which might be hard with your current expenses. You may need to look at increasing your income or extending the time to buy the house. Investing in growth-oriented assets through a Certified Financial Planner can help your money grow faster than a bank account.

» Saving for kids education and marriage

Your 5-year-old will need money for higher studies in about 12 to 13 years. The second baby will need it much later. Using actively managed mutual funds is a good way to build this wealth. These funds have experts who pick the best stocks to beat the market. By starting now, even with small amounts, the power of compounding will help you build a big fund for their college and weddings.

» Building a retirement nest egg

Retirement is a goal you cannot take a loan for. Since you are 38, you have about 20 years to save. You should not ignore this while planning for your kids. Investing in diversified equity funds through a regular plan with a Certified Financial Planner ensures you stay disciplined. They help you review your portfolio and make changes when the market shifts, which is hard to do on your own.

» Why actively managed funds over other options

Some people think about low-cost index options, but they just follow the market and don't try to do better. In a growing country like India, active fund managers can find great companies that grow much faster than the average. This extra growth is very important when you have big goals like a Rs. 1 crore house. Also, using a regular plan through a MFD with a Certified Financial Planner gives you the right guidance to avoid emotional mistakes during market ups and downs.

» Tax rules to remember

When you eventually sell your equity fund units to pay for the house or education, remember the tax rules. If you keep them for more than a year, profit above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. If you sell before a year, the tax is 20%. For any debt-based funds, the tax is based on your total income slab. A Certified Financial Planner can help you plan your withdrawals to pay the least amount of tax.

» Finally

Your goals are big and show your love for your family. While Rs. 50k income makes a Rs. 1 crore house in 5 years very tough, starting the right investment habits today will move you closer to it. Focus on protecting your family first, then invest every possible rupee in actively managed funds. Over time, as your salary grows, you can increase your savings to match your dreams.

Would you like me to help you figure out how much you should save each month for each specific goal?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |2638 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2026

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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