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Feeling lost and lonely: Why are people distancing themselves from me?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 11, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
kp Question by kp on Dec 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

From past 3 months, I have been noticing that the people with whom my previous couple of years were dependent, have now going away from me for one or another reasons. why is this happening ? I'm feeling lost and lonely.

Ans: Dear kp,
I would not know why these people that you speak of, are going away from you. There could be many reasons and you will surely be aware of it. List down who are ones that moved away and what happened between you and them just before it happened. A conversation, an incident, a fight? There's surely something that has set them off...
Or, they simply are busy with their lives; then simply call them up and talk to them...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Dec 13, 2024 | Answered on Dec 25, 2024
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I meant one of my friend is leaving to some other place...the other one has betrayed me and the one with whom I used to hang out on weekends is in dilemma to continue this or not. My concern is that m feeling lonely and disheartened that why everyone around me is leaving me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You must have heard of: "Change is the only thing that is permanent."
Apply this into every aspect of you life and you will find that it's true. Are you the same as you are yesterday? No, some thought or learning will make you do something different today.
Similarly, each individual have their own experiences that they must apply into their lives; this may appear as a big change if you are part of their life as well. It may seem like they are ignoring you, rejecting you, judging you etc etc...
None of this is true but YES, they are changing and accepting it is what will keep your mind sane. This is a generic way of looking at it.

Now, if you feel that some incident must have triggered them, then that is something you will know; when in doubt, ASK! Ask them if anything you said or did caused them to feel hurt and if YES, apologize. So no one is leaving you, they are just responding to their dynamic situations in life OR are simply hurt by something.
One will require acceptance from you and the other will require you to work with them to set things right...So, you can steer things to actually make things better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

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Hello Anu. I hope you are doing well. I follow your column and read your posts. I have a different issue. I am single and 30+ years. I have no complaints as I did not find any suitable guy to marry. I had a happy and busy life before Covid. However after Covid, lockdown and this work from home life has become monotonous. I not only lost my uncle due to depression but lost my friends due to fights and misunderstanding. I believe in giving importance so I tried to patch up with my friends but they prefer to break all the connections and move on. I have always had a thing for respect and to be valued. I moved away too coz I felt it was the right thing to do but somewhere it hurts me a lot that I am not able to hold on to my friends who knew me for so many years. How can someone get abandoned and not want to talk and sort things out? I feel I am overthinking it when the others are not even bothered or thinking about me or it. I really want to move away and focus on my life and career. I try doing it but many times there are so many things that reminds me of them and I get stuck and emotional again. I am trying some meditation and journaling but it does not seem to clear my mind.Hence I thought of checking with you. Let me know if you have any advice for me.
Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hello Anu. I hope you are doing well. I follow your column and read your posts. I have a different issue. I am single and 30+ years. I have no complaints as I did not find any suitable guy to marry. I had a happy and busy life before Covid. However after Covid, lockdown and this work from home life has become monotonous. I not only lost my uncle due to depression but lost my friends due to fights and misunderstanding. I believe in giving importance so I tried to patch up with my friends but they prefer to break all the connections and move on. I have always had a thing for respect and to be valued. I moved away too coz I felt it was the right thing to do but somewhere it hurts me a lot that I am not able to hold on to my friends who knew me for so many years. How can someone get abandoned and not want to talk and sort things out? I feel I am overthinking it when the others are not even bothered or thinking about me or it. I really want to move away and focus on my life and career. I try doing it but many times there are so many things that reminds me of them and I get stuck and emotional again. I am trying some meditation and journaling but it does not seem to clear my mind.Hence I thought of checking with you. Let me know if you have any advice for me.
Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I meant one of my friend is leaving to some other place...the other one has betrayed me and the one with whom I used to hang out on weekends is in dilemma to continue this or not. My concern is that m feeling lonely and disheartened that why everyone around me is leaving me?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You must have heard of: "Change is the only thing that is permanent."
Apply this into every aspect of you life and you will find that it's true. Are you the same as you are yesterday? No, some thought or learning will make you do something different today.
Similarly, each individual have their own experiences that they must apply into their lives; this may appear as a big change if you are part of their life as well. It may seem like they are ignoring you, rejecting you, judging you etc etc...
None of this is true but YES, they are changing and accepting it is what will keep your mind sane. This is a generic way of looking at it.

Now, if you feel that some incident must have triggered them, then that is something you will know; when in doubt, ASK! Ask them if anything you said or did caused them to feel hurt and if YES, apologize. So no one is leaving you, they are just responding to their dynamic situations in life OR are simply hurt by something.
One will require acceptance from you and the other will require you to work with them to set things right...So, you can steer things to actually make things better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1144 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
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Career
I'm a bsc botany graduate and now got admission and doing msc. I'm in first year and just gave my 1st semester exam but somehow now i feel i can't do botany at all its not just in my interest. I can't continue further with it as i dont think there's much scope too. I have interest in fields like geography or law related subjects. I'll be attempting for upsc too this year and also had a second thought to go for Law. Should i drop the msc? ....I've cried a lot thinking about that and its affecting my mental health too.
Ans: Hello dear.
First I would like to suggest that, in any way, you first complete your M.Sc. (Botnay) either with interest or without interest. Who told you that there is less scope in Botany? There are a lot of career options after M.Sc. (Botany).It is good that you are interested in geography and are attempting UPSC this year. Dear, along with your M.Sc. you can easily appear for UPSC and do the study of Geography, after completing your M.Sc. you can take the admission to Law course. Many people do the law even after their retirement or in due course of their service. There is no need to cry about the things which happened to you.
Suggestions: (1) Completer M.Sc. (Botany) by any means (2) Space-time to read Geography and UPSC Syllabus (3) Develop your overall personality and try to engage in some extracurricular activities of your interest.
Best of luck for your upcoming bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

...Read more

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