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Feeling lost and lonely: Why are people distancing themselves from me?

Anu Krishna |1437 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 11, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by kp on Dec 09, 2024Hindi

From past 3 months, I have been noticing that the people with whom my previous couple of years were dependent, have now going away from me for one or another reasons. why is this happening ? I'm feeling lost and lonely.

Ans: Dear kp,
I would not know why these people that you speak of, are going away from you. There could be many reasons and you will surely be aware of it. List down who are ones that moved away and what happened between you and them just before it happened. A conversation, an incident, a fight? There's surely something that has set them off...
Or, they simply are busy with their lives; then simply call them up and talk to them...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Asked on - Dec 13, 2024 | Answered on Dec 25, 2024

I meant one of my friend is leaving to some other place...the other one has betrayed me and the one with whom I used to hang out on weekends is in dilemma to continue this or not. My concern is that m feeling lonely and disheartened that why everyone around me is leaving me?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You must have heard of: "Change is the only thing that is permanent."
Apply this into every aspect of you life and you will find that it's true. Are you the same as you are yesterday? No, some thought or learning will make you do something different today.
Similarly, each individual have their own experiences that they must apply into their lives; this may appear as a big change if you are part of their life as well. It may seem like they are ignoring you, rejecting you, judging you etc etc...
None of this is true but YES, they are changing and accepting it is what will keep your mind sane. This is a generic way of looking at it.

Now, if you feel that some incident must have triggered them, then that is something you will know; when in doubt, ASK! Ask them if anything you said or did caused them to feel hurt and if YES, apologize. So no one is leaving you, they are just responding to their dynamic situations in life OR are simply hurt by something.
One will require acceptance from you and the other will require you to work with them to set things right...So, you can steer things to actually make things better.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Question by MS - Aug 05, 2022Hindi

Hello Anu. I hope you are doing well. I follow your column and read your posts. I have a different issue. I am single and 30+ years. I have no complaints as I did not find any suitable guy to marry. I had a happy and busy life before Covid. However after Covid, lockdown and this work from home life has become monotonous. I not only lost my uncle due to depression but lost my friends due to fights and misunderstanding. I believe in giving importance so I tried to patch up with my friends but they prefer to break all the connections and move on. I have always had a thing for respect and to be valued. I moved away too coz I felt it was the right thing to do but somewhere it hurts me a lot that I am not able to hold on to my friends who knew me for so many years. How can someone get abandoned and not want to talk and sort things out? I feel I am overthinking it when the others are not even bothered or thinking about me or it. I really want to move away and focus on my life and career. I try doing it but many times there are so many things that reminds me of them and I get stuck and emotional again. I am trying some meditation and journaling but it does not seem to clear my mind.Hence I thought of checking with you. Let me know if you have any advice for me.

Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

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Anu Krishna |1437 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Question by MS - Aug 05, 2022Hindi

Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2024

Question by kp - Dec 13, 2024Hindi