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Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
MS Question by MS on Aug 05, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Anu. I hope you are doing well. I follow your column and read your posts.
I have a different issue. I am single and 30+ years. I have no complaints as I did not find any suitable guy to marry. I had a happy and busy life before Covid. However after Covid, lockdown and this work from home life has become monotonous. I not only lost my uncle due to depression but lost my friends due to fights and misunderstanding. I believe in giving importance so I tried to patch up with my friends but they prefer to break all the connections and move on. I have always had a thing for respect and to be valued. I moved away too coz I felt it was the right thing to do but somewhere it hurts me a lot that I am not able to hold on to my friends who knew me for so many years. How can someone get abandoned and not want to talk and sort things out?
I feel I am overthinking it when the others are not even bothered or thinking about me or it. I really want to move away and focus on my life and career. I try doing it but many times there are so many things that reminds me of them and I get stuck and emotional again.
I am trying some meditation and journaling but it does not seem to clear my mind.
Hence I thought of checking with you.
Let me know if you have any advice for me.

Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

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Relationship
Hello Anu. I hope you are doing well. I follow your column and read your posts. I have a different issue. I am single and 30+ years. I have no complaints as I did not find any suitable guy to marry. I had a happy and busy life before Covid. However after Covid, lockdown and this work from home life has become monotonous. I not only lost my uncle due to depression but lost my friends due to fights and misunderstanding. I believe in giving importance so I tried to patch up with my friends but they prefer to break all the connections and move on. I have always had a thing for respect and to be valued. I moved away too coz I felt it was the right thing to do but somewhere it hurts me a lot that I am not able to hold on to my friends who knew me for so many years. How can someone get abandoned and not want to talk and sort things out? I feel I am overthinking it when the others are not even bothered or thinking about me or it. I really want to move away and focus on my life and career. I try doing it but many times there are so many things that reminds me of them and I get stuck and emotional again. I am trying some meditation and journaling but it does not seem to clear my mind.Hence I thought of checking with you. Let me know if you have any advice for me.
Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hello Anu. I hope you are doing well. I follow your column and read your posts. I have a different issue. I am single and 30+ years. I have no complaints as I did not find any suitable guy to marry. I had a happy and busy life before Covid. However after Covid, lockdown and this work from home life has become monotonous. I not only lost my uncle due to depression but lost my friends due to fights and misunderstanding. I believe in giving importance so I tried to patch up with my friends but they prefer to break all the connections and move on. I have always had a thing for respect and to be valued. I moved away too coz I felt it was the right thing to do but somewhere it hurts me a lot that I am not able to hold on to my friends who knew me for so many years. How can someone get abandoned and not want to talk and sort things out? I feel I am overthinking it when the others are not even bothered or thinking about me or it. I really want to move away and focus on my life and career. I try doing it but many times there are so many things that reminds me of them and I get stuck and emotional again. I am trying some meditation and journaling but it does not seem to clear my mind.Hence I thought of checking with you. Let me know if you have any advice for me.
Ans:

Dear MS,

Time to make amends?

You clearly seem like someone who likes being around friends and has allowed a bit of ego take over, which has perhaps pushed them away.

So go back to them! Make amends, apologise for what’s happened and tell them how much you value their presence in your life.

Focus on what is good in them and what they bring into your life. No one is perfect; expecting them to behave in a certain manner and letting your pride come in the way will push them away.

Even if you move away from them and make new friends, the same thing will happen again as there is a part of you that expects something they can’t do or be.

It's time to look within and make some subtle and useful changes so that people are attracted to that person in you who is fun and compassionate.

Also, you can continue with journalling and spend time listing down the best qualities in each of your friends.

This will help in celebrating them for who they are and it really makes you feel good from within. It works!

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 year old married woman. I was attached to my father very much. I lost him suddenly in 2021 by covid. He was fit and fine. I never thought he could left us like this. I feel very lonely , empty & completely of no desire for anything in life. I feel guilty and bad that the way my father struggled alone in ICU ward in his final days & we could not do anything for him. No one could met him & even saw him. I could not hugged him & even touched his body to say to goodbye in crematorium. Life got completely changed for me now. I am doing a job in which I working for very long time but not getting noticed or promoted so I feel sidelined by my seniors. I feel no use to work there or even anywhere now. I feel mentally I am tired to handle any pressure now. I am thinking to quit it to get some mental peace but not sure what I will do in free time. I have few marriage issues also & don't have any kids. I want to spend time alone & not even with my husband. Now I just want to live my life peacefully & happily without expecting anything from anyone. Tell me if I am correct or need to improve my way of thinking.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly very sorry for your loss. It might have been very difficult at not having that closure right at the end to process your loss your way. I can only imagine what you must be going through even now.

This heavy heartedness has most likely caused you to lose interest in many things in life including your work life. Even things that were simple to handle might have become too much to deal with. You need to heal by grieving and slowly going into acceptance. Is this hard? Oh yes, but with the help of someone who specializes in grief counselling and therapy, you can heal through this. This doesn't mean that you have to forget your father; it only means you process what has happened to transition into a better mind space. This will help you get a grip over your life for what it is now and like all of us, you deserve to be happy and at peace. Do consider this option and see an expert; it will really help you...

All the best and do know that this too shall Pass!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 13, 2023

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Relationship
Hi, Trust you're doing well. I'll begin with a complaint. I'm mentioning it here since there's no other platform to grumble on. My previous mail, not written to you, wasn't replied to. On top of that, my inbox is bombarded with mails with details of crises faced by others. As it is, I'm besieged with problems of my own. I don't really have the stomach to analyse crises faced by others. Coming to my issue, as was somewhat expected, the girl I would go around with has broken all contact with me after I was rude to her. Now the question is, how do I cope with it? I've managed to shrug off the feeling of guilt since she was herself very rude when I tried reaching out to her. However, I'm still missing her. How do I cope with the emptiness? Reading books isn't helping. After all, books don't talk, do they? Books can't really be a substitute to a woman's company. I'm trying to raise my earnings since at 49, I'm at the fag end of my career. Is there any way I can keep myself busy? NGOs don't take in people of my age. What do I do? Please advise. Thank you.
Ans: Dear Kanishka,
What is the point with all the distress? The more you stay in the problem, the bigger it is going to get!
If your relationship is over, then move on...yes, the emptiness takes quite sometime to get over with BUT it is possible to get a grab of your emotions ONLY if you choose to...
Focus on the time being on:
Work
Health
Family
Friends
This will give you an idea as to how much more energy you can drive into each of these to see the results that you want. Obviously, you can put in strategic thought into planning the next 10 years of your professional life. Your career ends only when you want it to end. In this digital age, the world is one big village where there are myriad opportunities. Research a bit on where your skills and experience can add value...
So, the point that I am making here is: Shift focus to the things that can change the course of your life for the better!

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
I have started 16000 sip and I am 31 years now. MF portfolio: 1)Tata small cap direct growt:5000 2)Nippon India Large cal direct growth:4800 3)Motilal oswal midcap :3600 4) Parag parik elss fund:2500 Can you please review and suggest changes and improvement required.
Ans: It's fantastic to see your proactive approach towards investing in mutual funds at such a young age. Let's review your MF portfolio and discuss potential adjustments to optimize your investments for long-term growth.

Your current portfolio comprises funds across different market segments, which is a good start. However, there are a few considerations to enhance diversification and risk management:

Tata Small Cap Direct Growth: Small-cap funds can offer high growth potential but come with higher volatility. Given their risk profile, it's essential to allocate an appropriate portion of your portfolio to small caps. Consider reviewing the performance and risk metrics of this fund regularly.
Nippon India Large Cap Direct Growth: Large-cap funds provide stability and steady returns over the long term. It's a wise choice to have exposure to large-cap stocks for capital preservation and lower volatility. Continue monitoring the fund's performance and ensure it aligns with your investment objectives.
Motilal Oswal Midcap: Mid-cap funds offer the potential for high returns but carry higher risk compared to large-cap funds. Given your age and risk tolerance, a moderate allocation to mid-cap stocks can enhance portfolio diversification and growth potential. Monitor the fund's performance closely and consider rebalancing if necessary.
Parag Parikh ELSS Fund: ELSS funds offer tax-saving benefits along with the potential for wealth creation. It's a prudent choice to invest in ELSS funds for long-term goals while enjoying tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act. Review the fund's performance and tax implications regularly.
When considering direct funds versus regular funds, it's essential to understand the disadvantages of direct funds. Direct funds require investors to conduct their research and make investment decisions independently, which can be time-consuming and may lead to suboptimal choices. On the other hand, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) with expertise in mutual fund selection can provide access to professional advice, personalized portfolio management, and ongoing guidance to navigate market volatility effectively.

To further diversify your portfolio, consider adding exposure to other asset classes like international funds, debt funds, or balanced funds. A well-diversified portfolio can help mitigate risk and optimize returns over the long term.

Regularly review your MF portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. Your CFP can provide personalized guidance and recommendations based on your unique circumstances.

By staying disciplined in your investments and making informed decisions, you're on the right path to achieving your financial objectives.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi i am investing 48000 in sip monthly starting last 3 months ..sukanya samridi for kid monthly 12500 ..do not have any corpus... Plan to step sip by another 40 k in couple of months..aged 43 years...have term 1 c and otak smart life plan for kid for which I pay 1lac per year for 12 years payment term ...3 years completed.... Pf 22 lac and doing pf plus vpf close to 25000 per month...plan to sell an apt and can get 50 lac in couple of months... Have another apartment for later staying after retirement... Need to generate 4 crore for daughter education marriage and retirement in 8 years time... Please advice
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards securing your daughter's future and planning for your retirement. Let's break down your financial situation and outline a strategy to achieve your goals.

Currently, you're investing ?48,000 monthly in SIPs and ?12,500 in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana for your kid's future. Additionally, you have term insurance and a life plan for your child, along with a significant PF balance and regular contributions.

Considering your age and financial goals, it's commendable that you're taking steps to enhance your savings and investments. The upcoming sale of an apartment, along with your existing assets, provides a solid foundation to work with.

To generate a corpus of ?4 crore for your daughter's education, marriage, and your retirement in 8 years, we need to focus on optimizing your investments and maximizing returns.

With the additional funds from the apartment sale, consider increasing your SIP investments gradually to accelerate wealth accumulation. Diversify your portfolio across equity, debt, and other asset classes to mitigate risk and enhance returns.

Since you have a relatively short time frame of 8 years, it's essential to maintain a balanced approach to investing, prioritizing growth while safeguarding capital. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can help ensure your investment strategy remains aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

Furthermore, continue contributing to your PF and explore other tax-efficient investment avenues to optimize your savings. Ensure adequate insurance coverage to protect your family's financial well-being in case of unforeseen events.

By staying disciplined in your savings and investments and making informed decisions, you're well-positioned to achieve your financial aspirations for your daughter's future and your retirement.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

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Money
Which is the best SIP ? Can you please name some of them?
Ans: As a Certified Financial Planner, I understand the importance of selecting the right SIPs to achieve your financial goals. I can guide you on what to look for in a good SIP.

When choosing a SIP, it's essential to consider factors like the fund's track record, fund manager's expertise, expense ratio, and risk profile. Look for funds with consistent performance across market cycles and a proven track record of delivering returns.

Additionally, consider the fund house's reputation, financial stability, and adherence to regulatory guidelines. Opt for fund houses with a strong track record of investor-friendly practices and transparent operations.

While actively managed funds have the potential to outperform index funds over the long term, they also come with higher expense ratios and the risk of underperformance. However, skilled fund managers can capitalize on market opportunities and generate alpha, potentially enhancing returns.

Regular funds, accessed through a Certified Financial Planner, offer the benefit of professional advice and personalized portfolio management. Your CFP can help you navigate market volatility, rebalance your portfolio, and stay on track towards your financial goals.

Remember, the best SIP for you depends on your financial objectives, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. A diversified portfolio of SIPs across asset classes can help mitigate risk and optimize returns over time.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to tailor a SIP strategy that aligns with your goals and financial situation. With informed decision-making and disciplined investing, you can build wealth and achieve financial success.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
I'm 34 years old with 40L/yr, have 15L as savings, and 5L in NPS, 5L in PF. Bought a home in 2021 for 75L getting 26k/month Currently I stay in rented home with 26k rent. Have car loan of 4.5L, home loan 25k/month. Can you suggest what should I do to retire at 44? Considering I have current expenditure of 30k.
Ans: Retiring at 44 is an ambitious goal, but with careful planning, it's achievable. Let's outline a strategy tailored to your situation.

Firstly, your current savings of 15L, along with 5L in NPS and 5L in PF, provide a good foundation. We'll leverage these assets to maximize returns and build wealth for retirement.

Since you have a home loan and a car loan, prioritizing debt repayment is essential. Aim to clear high-interest debts like the car loan first while maintaining minimum payments on the home loan.

Next, let's explore investment options to grow your wealth. With a monthly income of 40L, you have a substantial amount to invest. Since your goal is early retirement, focus on high-yield investments with moderate risk.

Considering your risk tolerance and investment horizon, a diversified portfolio comprising equity mutual funds, debt instruments, and possibly some real estate investments can offer growth potential while minimizing risk.

Since you're already investing in NPS and PF, continue contributing to these accounts for retirement savings. Additionally, explore other tax-efficient investment avenues like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) mutual funds for tax savings and wealth accumulation.

Given your monthly expenditure of 30k, ensure you have an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6-12 months of expenses to cover unforeseen circumstances.

Regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards your retirement goal. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to fine-tune your strategy and optimize your investment portfolio.

With disciplined saving, prudent investing, and careful debt management, you're well-positioned to retire comfortably at 44.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am interested to invest in SIP, need guidance. Can you share me yoirccontact details ?
Ans: SIP, or Systematic Investment Plan, is a method of investing in mutual funds where you regularly invest a fixed amount at predetermined intervals, typically monthly. It's a disciplined approach to investing that helps in wealth creation over the long term.

When you express interest in investing through SIPs, the first step is to understand your financial goals. Are you saving for retirement, a child's education, buying a house, or something else? Knowing your objectives helps in tailoring the investment strategy to meet your specific needs.

Next, we'll discuss your risk tolerance, which refers to your comfort level with the ups and downs of the market. Based on your risk profile, we'll recommend mutual funds that align with your preferences, whether you prefer conservative, moderate, or aggressive investments.

Your investment horizon is also crucial. SIPs work best for long-term goals, typically five years or more, as they allow you to benefit from the power of compounding and ride out market fluctuations.

Once we have a clear understanding of your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon, we'll recommend a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different asset classes, such as equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Diversification helps spread risk and optimize returns.

Regular reviews of your SIP investments are essential to ensure they remain aligned with your goals and market conditions. We'll monitor your portfolio's performance and make adjustments as needed to keep you on track to achieving your financial objectives.

If you have any questions or need further clarification, feel free to contact me through my website. I'm here to provide personalized guidance and support you on your investment journey.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |1735 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 32 , currently investing 5k in mutual fund, 2k in Mirae asset and SBI Small cap, 3k in PPFF , Canara Robeco and Axis Mid cap, Need to clear Loan around 65 , How much SIP amount should i increase or any portfolio need to decrease from above and in next 10 -15 years i want to clear the loan.
Ans: Increasing your SIP amount is a smart move towards clearing your loan in the next 10-15 years. Considering your current investments in Mirae Asset, SBI Small Cap, PPF, Canara Robeco, and Axis Mid Cap, it's commendable how you're diversifying your portfolio.

Given your goal, let's focus on optimizing your investments to accelerate debt clearance. Since you're investing ?5,000 monthly, let's review each fund's performance and risk profile.

irae Asset and SBI Small Cap have shown promising growth potential, which aligns with your long-term goals. However, PPF, Canara Robeco, and Axis Mid Cap might need reassessment.

These funds may carry higher risk due to their focus on mid-cap stocks. Considering your loan repayment goal, it's wise to redistribute funds to more stable options.

Increasing SIPs in Mirae Asset and SBI Small Cap could be beneficial. It's essential to maintain a balance between risk and return, especially when aiming for debt clearance.

A gradual shift towards large-cap or balanced funds could provide stability while maintaining growth potential. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure your portfolio stays aligned with your objectives.

Remember, consistency and patience are key in achieving financial goals. With strategic adjustments and disciplined investing, you're on the right path to clearing your loan sooner than expected.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on May 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am kiran graduated in 2019 in Mechanical Engineering after graduation I got job in public sector steel plant based on my diploma so since 2019 I have been doing job in Steel psu as non-executive, now my age is 26 i realised there is no future scope in my current company so I want to resign and study , I'm thinking to join mtech in reputed university, is it worthy decision??
Ans: Deciding to pursue further education, such as an M.Tech. from a reputed university, can be a significant step towards advancing your career, especially if you feel that there are limited growth opportunities in your current role. Reflect on your long-term career goals and aspirations. Consider whether obtaining an M.Tech aligns with your career objectives and whether it will help you progress towards achieving them. Research the job market for mechanical engineers with an M.Tech. degree to assess the potential career opportunities available to you after completing the program. Evaluate the relevance of an M.Tech. degree in mechanical engineering to your desired industry or field of specialization. Determine whether the knowledge and skills gained through the M.Tech. program will enhance your professional competencies and make you more competitive in the job market. Consider how pursuing an M.Tech. degree can contribute to your personal and professional development. Reflect on the opportunity to deepen your understanding of mechanical engineering concepts, engage in research or practical projects, and collaborate with peers and faculty members in a university setting. Assess the financial implications of pursuing an M.Tech. degree, including tuition fees, living expenses, and potential loss of income during the duration of the program. Explore the scholarship, fellowship, or financial aid options available to support your education and minimize financial strain. Research and evaluate the reputation and accreditation of the universities or institutions offering M.Tech. programs in mechanical engineering. Consider the networking opportunities available through an M.Tech program, including interactions with faculty members, industry professionals, and fellow students. Consider how you will manage the logistics of resigning from your current job, applying for M.Tech. programs, and preparing for your future career. Ultimately, the decision to pursue an M.Tech. degree should be based on a careful evaluation of your career goals, personal interests, financial considerations, and the potential benefits of further education in advancing your career. If you believe that obtaining an M.Tech. degree will provide you with valuable skills, knowledge, and opportunities for career advancement, then it may indeed be a worthy decision for you.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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