my partner of 6 years marriage has a few issues, she cannot have a financial planning session amicably, she will shout when it comes to her contribution to be increased for household expenses or savings. she also watches big boss, does such serial impact negatively the behavior. please suggest way out, as i feel i am not getting the right support.

I am a working women, i have to take care of my parents expenses and also take care of my expenses , i have a child 8 years old, my husband is not supporting me financially, he just spend most of his money for his wants, and no savings so far even after 15 years of marriage, how to make him understand about savings i have quarreled many times on this but no use, i feel like to go away from him, kindly suggest

Dear Anu, I am married for 28 yrs. Throughout my marriage, I have felt very insecure about money. I have always tried to be independent but my husband had discouraged it. So though I earned, it wasn't much. It was enough as my pocket money, or maybe a bit more. Then when I was 46yrs old, and my husband 60, he started saying that he could no longer earn and I had to support myself. At first I was shocked and devastated, but gradually i accepted and started working hard. He also started living separately and comes home for 2-3 days, every week. I have stopped needing him emotionally and financially. But he is very inconsistent with his finances, which brings back my earlier insecurity. Also he doesn't practice what he says. Suppose we plan something and I expect that to happen, but then I find he doesn't do it. I feel very cheated. For example, we decided to rent out our garage, and he said that I could pay the electricity bill of our house with that. But then , when we get a tenant, he takes away the money. This is just a small example. Many other , big things have happened . Because of this, I feel frustrated and very dissatisfied with the relationship. But outwardly, we are a happy family. I have a son of 27yrs also. I have tried talking to him about it, but he avoids it. Inspite of telling him time and again to find something to do he refuses it. His career was also very inconsistent, and a very long story. How do I deal with him? Should I leave? I don't want to. But I really don't know what to do.

Hi Anu, I'm married since 5 years now and having loving In-Laws who are financially very well to do. My husband and I earn very less as compared to my in-laws, with whom we stay. My husband is 37 years old and earns 47000 INR a month, out of which he saves 35000 INR (in-laws have told him not to spend on house expense, but instead save). The rest 12000 INR he has for himself. I am also working and all my earning is with me. The problem is that he usually ends up spending almost all of the 12K. This angers me as I feel he should focus on saving as much as possible from that. We have an understanding among us that the expense for enjoyment will be borne by me as his major chunk is being saved for "Our" future. Am I wrong to be upset with his spending?

Hi dear Anu Krishna Madam, I am a regular reader of your suggestions and answers on the questions of relationships since long. You are doing a great work to solve the complications of people's life. I have a long story actually, thanks to you in advance for your patience in reading this. I am male 36 YO, married and having a 4 YO daughter. Mandatory to mention here that I have mother who is dependent on me financially as my father passed away years ago. My relationship with my not been since starting as we got married in 2015. She is having serious anger issues and starts fighting on even little things. She is not very inclined to my mother and my younger sister who got married in 2018 and staying in UK with her husband. My wife is always complaining for one thing or the other. I am working for Central Government and earning well but she is never satisfied and keeps on complaining that my brother in law (sister's husband) is better husband or sometimes compare with other men. I always to fulfil all the requirements financially as well as taking care of baby, helping in household chores but she is never a happy woman. I send my mother and amount of Rs 10000 per month as no one is there to take care of her, mother stays at our hometown and I along with my wife and daughter stays at my work place city. I had to finance the marriage of my younger sister also as my father passed away when the both of us siblings were of age 7 and 3, this was told before my marriage to the family of wife as well as her that this will be required to be managed by me financially. But she complains of this also that I have spent this much money on my sister and mother. I am earning from a young age of 18 years but I don't find any peace at home. I am working like a machine, earning and then she is saying bad things to me all the time. She shouts loudly when fighting so that neighbours also listen and I find it very shameful. Her behaviour towards our daughter also changes frequently and she treats her according to her mood. My mother is not staying with us as when she stayed here for 6-8 months due to her health related issues, she started fighting with my mother also and created huge scenes every now and then. My wife's only attachment is with her own family, her mother, father, unmarried elder sister and unmarried elder brother. Her both the siblings couldn't find suitable matches for themselves, this is also creating a stress for my wife and she in the end throws her frustration on me. She and my self have both tried to commit suicide 2-3 times in the fight on different occasions. Last year she met a younger boy of age 26-27 and they both got attracted to each other. I was along with her and I noticed them smiling at each other at a function. I asked my wife and said to her that if you want to you can ask and talk to that boy. Means I told her to have an open marriage, in the hope that this will atleast make her realise that my husband is happy in my happiness. They both started talking and even met on 3-4 occasions and 2-3 of them secret meetings at our home (only i knew that I didn't pointed out) with physical intimacy. Now due to some unknown reason both my wife and that boy are not talking to each other. Her behaviour had been very rude since that boy came to her life and she never realised that my husband is not pointing out this infidelity also. Now, when that boy is also not there, her disrespect towards me is increasing day by day. She starts fighting even at streets and shouting loudly. I have also given a thought for legal separation but due to my daughter I am not going ahead. I am in a very complex situation and don't understand what to do. How i can make her understand that relationship runs on two people. Please guide me further. One more thing to mention here she is not interested to go for councelling or anything like that. Thanks in advance. Regards.