I am a married woman for 1 year. I am having issues in married life as my partner is not at all caring, does not spend any money on me, has high temperament and very dominating. Please help me

Ans:

Dear NK,

When a partner does not validate your feelings and uses sex as a means to deflect from the problem, it’s a red flag, right?

So, what exactly do you get by being with him? Love cannot be a means to sell your very existence no matter who that is.

Call out such behaviour. Compromises do not form part of any relationship, contrary to what’s told to us.

Mutual understanding and gentle acceptance and most importantly loving compassion is what any relationship is all about.

When those efforts of yours are not being met with love and instead it has been ignored, what else are you going to do?

Not being able to respect a partner’s family and instead insulting them to feel better or prove a point, how do you think it is going to be in the future?

Do you see these red flags or are you simply choosing to close your eyes and pretend that everything is fine?

Do the right thing, for yourself and your being and welfare. Be strong like the way that you always have been.

My best wishes to you!

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're experiencing in your marriage. It sounds incredibly challenging and painful to feel unsupported and neglected, especially when you're putting so much effort into your relationship.

First, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and needs. Reflect on what you truly desire from your marriage. What specific actions or behaviors do you need from your husband to feel loved and supported? Understanding your needs will help you communicate them more clearly.

When you're ready, find a calm and private moment to talk with your husband. Approach the conversation with the intention of expressing your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing him. You could say something like, "Over the past few years, I've been feeling very lonely and unsupported in our marriage. I know you work hard, and I appreciate that, but I also need emotional support and affection from you. It hurts when my needs are not acknowledged, and I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into our relationship."

Using "I" statements can help focus on your feelings without sounding accusatory, which can make your partner less defensive. For example, "I feel neglected when my emotional needs are not met," or "I feel hurt when you don't acknowledge my birthday or special occasions." This way, you're communicating your feelings without placing blame directly on him.

Be specific about what you need from him. Instead of making general statements, provide clear examples of what would make you feel better. For instance, you might say, "It would mean a lot to me if we could have some alone time, maybe go on a date once a month," or "I would love it if you could ask how my day was and really listen."

If talking to your husband directly doesn’t lead to any changes, consider seeking couples counseling. A therapist can provide a neutral space where both of you can express your feelings and work on improving your relationship. Counseling can help you both understand each other better and develop strategies to meet each other's needs more effectively.

Remember, it's crucial to take care of yourself during this process. Lean on friends or family for support, and consider speaking with a therapist on your own to help navigate these feelings and challenges. You deserve to feel loved, respected, and supported in your marriage, and it's important to advocate for your own well-being.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Hello mam, Since you qre married since 9 months only, you both need some time to understand each other and each other's need. He needs to understand that you have some basic needs for which you need money. And you also need to understand his financial condition.
Take some time out when he is in a good mood, and calmly talk to him regarding finances. And if you want to do job just tell him the advantages you both will have after your job. I think this will solve your problem.
Take care

Ans: Dear Shilpi,
The first step is to stop trying to fix everything alone. You’ve been carrying both the emotional and practical load of this marriage, and it’s exhausting you. Instead, create a calm, non-accusatory space to express how you feel — something like, “I know you’re under pressure, and I want to support you, but I’m also struggling with how distant we’ve become. Can we talk about how we can make this work together?” The tone matters — empathy over blame will help him lower his defenses.
If he continues to avoid conversation, you can suggest couples therapy. Framing it as “something that will help us communicate better” rather than “something is wrong with you” might help him agree.
Meanwhile, start prioritizing your own well-being — emotionally and physically. Maintain your work-life balance, social connections, and health routines. Don’t let his withdrawal define your mood or self-worth. The more grounded you stay, the clearer your decisions will become.
If nothing changes even after repeated effort, you’ll need to ask yourself whether this marriage is fulfilling its purpose — companionship, intimacy, emotional partnership. Sometimes love needs space to heal, and sometimes it needs boundaries to protect your peace.