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Interfaith Relationship: How to Deal with Parents' Opposition?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Mam, My parents are not agreeing for the marriage with my boyfriend cause it's an interfaith relation. I tried convincing them but they keep on saying foul words to me, saying that they would kill themselves if I don't leave him. I had seen my family from childhood and I don't want to be in a similar situation as they are, my mother had a relationship with someone else after marriage, my sister is not the biological child of my father, I am aware of all those but I haven't blamed them for that cause I felt if that's what is making them happy let them be, I haven't even confronted them. Now they say all the good stuff that me and your father were very great to each other you should learn those things and all. I am struck in a situation now. I have a job and my boyfriend also has one, could you please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Judging your parents and their choices is not going to anyway help you in your context. So, why even go there?
Instead focus on your situation and how you can make things happen for yourself.
- Are you financially independent and will you be able to manage the discomfort that will emerge once you choose to be on your own?
- Will your boyfriend support your decision and will he stand by you when you go against your family?
- What does his side of the family have to say about all of this?
If you notice the questions above, none of them are set to 'convince' your family. It is almost impossible to convince someone who does not want to be convinced. These questions will give you an idea and enable to handle your situation by stepping up for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 19, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma’am, My parents are not agreeing for my marriage with an intercaste marriage and this is not the first intercaste marriage one of cousin tried convincing their parents for 5 yrs but eventually gave up and opted for court marriage today they are very happy even their parents has also accepted the marriage. In my case , my parents are mocking me for my feelings and emotionally abusing me and have crossed all their limits. They know my boyfriend from class 10th and their family too but the only issue is with then what others will say . My mother called my boyfriend and kept on saying leave me alone and in return my boyfriend said aunty I know this is the big thing we will not take any drastic step and without your approval we will not get married and I’m willing to wait for your daughter even if it is waiting for for 5-6 yrs . We both are doing pretty good in our career we both have been so focused with out life. But after this call she kept on saying he’s very manipulative as he did not disrespect my mother and as a result of this my mother and father kept on harassing me by saying ill and foul words to me. They are so lost in their ego that I am suffering from 104 degree fever and they are ignoring this fact kept on saying foul words to me. My mother day and night she’s entering my room is saying Every second I’m giving you baddua ( wishing something bad happen to me) . I put forth my point but they are not in state of listening and somewhere very unhappy that I’m not financially dependent on them so they are keep bashing my job. I have stopped talking to them regarding this topic and just having very minimal conversation with them and I’m not misbehaving with them for this also they are scolding me they want to act normally and come sit with them.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still unaccepted in many societies and the challenges that come with it are not just with family acceptance but adapting and adjusting to different cultures, tastes etc...
Yes, on the one hand, love does not have any boundaries BUT massive changes in society have still not taken place to accept inter-faith marriages and your parents also belong to that very same society that hinders more than supports.
It has come down to a choice for you now!
Family or your Love?
If you choose Family, all will be well except you and your boyfriend. It will be giving up what you dreamed of together.
If you choose Love, you can of course live life on your terms but your family may vow to never see you again (it seems evident from all the vibes at your home).
Since, you are financially independent, you are in a better position to decide BUT it is going to be a decision that will leave someone unhappy. Who that is going to be and whether you can harden yourself with it is the question!
Now, Family and Love can go hand in hand only when both integrate which means an uphill task for both sides to negotiate, navigate and live in harmony. If this can be achieved by some neutral person bringing both sides together, please attempt this first before making a final decision. But make the choice soon, so there is a resolution either way.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Mam i am in relationship for 9 years now..he became my boyfriend when i shifted in my new house he was my neighbour..i was in 10th when i got caught and since then my parents hate my boyfriend , i apologized to my parents then and said to have no contact with my boyfriend but 9 years down the lane ..we are totally connected and living a peaceful healthy relationship..my parents hate my boyfriend and his family to the core..my relationship with ny parents are.mixed someday they will be super nice to me , another day they will abuse me for evn small things..we have ups and down in our relationship but i love them a lott , i want to care of them in their old age..but at this point i want to talk to them about my boyfriend but seeinng that they hate him so much i am literally very very afraid that my parents will hate me to their core knowing about someone i want to marry whoom they hate soo much ..... i don't know how will they react .. i am been through physcial and verbal abuse earlier too but i don't know how much worse it can get this time..for them the girl who marry their parents choice is the best in the world..my boyfriend and i have no caste issue its just the ego issues with my parents they think karrying into that house they will never able to have good enough respect though my mother and his mother talk..but that too my mother bitch a lott about her mother for even nonsensical things..i am 24 now and preparing for government exam ...i am soo much stress knowing i have to choose between my love or my parents.....i think so even if i marry him with their superficail consent they will never be happy woth me..and can even cut contacts with me...i don't know what to do i have no elder in my house to make parents explain...mam plss show me some path
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8311 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2025
Money
Hi Sir, I have a property in Mumbai suburb (approx 40L) and its location is perfect near station, bus stop, heart of the city etc. It's very old around 36 years old. I have just inherited it and I am finishing the legal procedure of it. The monthly maintenance is increasing every year and we are still waiting for redevelopment to happen. I am housewife and require monthly income. We also have loans around 25 L. My husband is int IT field and I am German language expert. We have a son 3 years. Some are saying to give it on rent and some are saying to sell it off for repaying loans. Even if I sell it I would like to reinvest it somewhere for getting monthly income, preferably a property. I want a secure investment for meeting the requirements for my son's education as my husband's field is very volatile due to regular layoffs and stuff. Kindly guide
Ans: You have inherited a 36-year-old property worth around Rs 40 lakh.
You have Rs 25 lakh loans to repay.
You are a housewife but a German language expert, and your husband is in IT.
You want monthly income and secure future planning, especially for your son.

You have inherited a valuable property in Mumbai suburb.

You are completing the legal formalities rightly, which is very important.

You are thinking ahead for monthly income, child education, and loan repayment.

Very few people show this kind of foresight. You deserve appreciation.

Challenges You Are Facing Now

Property is old, around 36 years, and needs maintenance.

Maintenance charges are rising every year, increasing burden.

Redevelopment is uncertain and unpredictable.

You have Rs 25 lakh loans creating stress.

Husband's IT field is unstable due to layoffs.

You want a secure monthly income and financial stability.

Option 1: Giving Property on Rent

You can earn monthly rental income by renting it out.

Typical rent may be around Rs 8,000 to Rs 12,000 per month.

Rental yield will be hardly 2%-3% on Rs 40 lakh value.

This is very low compared to your needs and loan burden.

Maintenance charges, property tax, repairs will further reduce your income.

Vacancy risk is also there if tenants leave.

Overall, rental income may not fully support your financial goals.

Option 2: Selling the Property

Selling can give you around Rs 40 lakh.

You can immediately clear Rs 25 lakh loans.

After repaying loans, you will still have around Rs 15 lakh.

Loan closure will bring huge mental peace and cash flow freedom.

No more EMI burden means husband's salary can be saved better.

You can use balance Rs 15 lakh wisely to generate monthly income.

Important Insights on Redevelopment

Redevelopment can take 5-10 years easily.

Many projects get delayed due to disputes and permissions.

Till redevelopment happens, maintenance and repair costs rise.

You may have to stay invested without any income for long.

Your immediate needs for income and loan closure will not be solved.

Depending on redevelopment alone is very risky at this stage.

What You Should Ideally Do

Prefer selling the property now while market is still decent.

Clear all Rs 25 lakh loans fully and become completely debt-free.

Debt-free life is the biggest financial freedom you can gift your family.

With balance money, create a secure income plan.

Stay light without property burdens and maintenance worries.

Focus on building an education corpus for your son and retirement corpus.

Where to Invest After Selling

Do not buy another property immediately for investment.

Property rental yields are low, and liquidity is very poor.

Instead, create a mix of debt mutual funds and hybrid mutual funds.

These can give you monthly income using Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP).

This method protects your capital and gives you flexible monthly payouts.

Debt mutual funds can provide 6%-7% returns safely with low risk.

Balanced advantage funds can give 8%-10% returns over 3-5 years.

Always choose regular mutual fund plans through a MFD who is also a Certified Financial Planner.

Why Not Property for Reinvestment?

Property is illiquid; selling it again takes months or years.

Property has heavy costs like stamp duty, registration, brokerage, repairs.

Rentals are taxed fully as income, eating away returns.

If tenant defaults or property is vacant, you get zero income.

Maintaining property is a headache, especially in old buildings.

Mutual funds offer better flexibility, better tax-efficiency, and better liquidity.

Disadvantages of Direct Plans (Important for You to Know)

If you invest in direct mutual fund plans yourself, you miss expert guidance.

Wrong fund selection, wrong withdrawal rate can destroy your capital.

Regular plans through a CFP-backed MFD give proper fund selection and review.

Charges in regular plan are justified because it protects your long-term wealth.

Getting professional hand-holding is very important for your peace of mind.

Additional Steps You Must Take

Keep a separate emergency fund of Rs 3 lakh in liquid mutual funds.

Buy a good term insurance cover for husband (at least Rs 1 crore).

Ensure you have a good health insurance for the whole family.

Start a small SIP for your son’s education goal systematically.

Slowly explore freelancing as a German language expert to earn extra income.

Future Planning for Your Son

Education costs are rising 10%-12% every year in India.

For good education after 15 years, you will need a large corpus.

Start small SIPs in good mutual funds focused on child education.

Stay committed for long-term without withdrawals.

Education planning must be top priority after loan closure.

Final Insights

Renting out the old property will not solve your loan and income issues properly.

Selling the property now and clearing the loans is the better, safer step.

Remaining money should be invested wisely for monthly income generation.

Avoid buying new properties now. Focus on mutual fund income plans.

Build emergency reserves, insurance covers, and an education fund for your son.

Stay light, stay debt-free, and keep life flexible financially.

Your thinking is already mature. With correct action, your future will be very secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8311 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Money
Could you tell me the ideal stock quantity for me as I am investing 10k in each stock and I get minimum 30 percent return so I am not happy with reward. FYI my portfolio is of 5 Lacks investing since 2017.
Ans: You have a Rs 5 lakh stock portfolio.
You are investing Rs 10,000 in each stock.
You are getting around 30% returns, but you are not fully happy.

Let me help you with detailed insights.

Appreciating Your Journey So Far

You started investing in 2017, which shows good discipline.

Growing the portfolio with regular Rs 10,000 investments is a smart habit.

Earning 30% returns is not bad, especially in Indian stock markets.

Many investors struggle even to beat inflation in long-term investing.

You deserve appreciation for steady progress and patience.

Understanding Your Concern

You want even better returns than 30%.

You feel Rs 10,000 in each stock is limiting your potential.

You are looking for an ideal number of stocks for higher growth.

Ideal Number of Stocks to Hold

If portfolio is Rs 5 lakh, then having 15 to 20 stocks is healthy.

Less than 10 stocks can make portfolio risky and unstable.

More than 25 stocks will dilute returns and weaken performance.

Around 18 stocks can give you good balance of safety and growth.

Each stock can ideally carry 4% to 7% weight in your portfolio.

Problems of Over-Diversification

Holding too many stocks reduces focus.

Monitoring all stocks becomes difficult.

Even if some stocks do well, overall portfolio may not reflect it.

Returns get pulled down when poor stocks dilute the strong ones.

Problems of Under-Diversification

Too few stocks increase risks sharply.

Bad performance of one stock hits portfolio badly.

Emotional decision making becomes harder.

Volatility can become scary during market falls.

Fine-Tuning Your Approach

Increase your per stock investment slightly to Rs 15,000 to Rs 20,000.

Focus on holding 15 to 20 strong companies across sectors.

Prioritise companies with strong balance sheet and consistent profits.

Look for companies with leadership in their industries.

Reduce churning of stocks; stay invested patiently.

Sector Allocation Guidance

Allocate across banking, FMCG, pharma, IT, auto, and energy sectors.

Avoid over-investing in one sector or theme.

Always maintain sector diversification for stability.

Reviewing Your Return Expectations

Expecting more than 30% return consistently can be risky.

Stock market returns move in cycles.

In good years, 40%-60% returns may happen.

In bad years, even negative returns can occur.

Long-term average return expectation should be around 12%-18%.

Identifying the Real Issue

30% growth is a strong outcome compared to bank FDs and debt funds.

If you feel unhappy, maybe it is because of high expectations.

Managing emotions is key to wealth creation.

Recommended Action Plan

Stick to around 18 focused high-quality stocks.

Increase amount slightly if you find very strong companies.

Focus on strong fundamentals, not just price movements.

Rebalance portfolio once in a year to maintain sector weight.

Invest fresh money slowly when good opportunities arise.

Additional Important Points

Don't take high risks to chase higher returns.

Wealth building is a marathon, not a sprint.

Stay disciplined and trust your process.

Consistency will reward you richly in next 5-10 years.

Final Insights

Holding around 15-20 carefully selected stocks is ideal for you.

Focus more on quality stocks than chasing return numbers.

Growing wealth steadily is more important than chasing quick profits.

Stay invested with a cool mind, and you will achieve great success.

Celebrate your discipline till now and keep improving step-by-step.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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