My name is Gatima, I’m 36 years old and a housewife.

I’m married from past 10 years and it was a love marriage.

I was bought up in metro cities like Delhi and Mumbai. I married to a guy from Goa and a shipy (merchant navy).

I was working when I got married but I left immediately because I wanted to sail with my husband, initial years were good. I have one boy who is 5 now .

We used to fight all d time but initially we used to understand each other and patch up fast , but from last one year our fights increased so much and we stop talking for even months.

My husband has lots of complaints from me and always blames me for every fight.

I’m feeling so guilty. I always curse myself and ask God why he made me so bad person.

Whenever we fight, all other family members cut off communication with me.

Although I am surrounded by so many I’m alone.

I cry most of time but now my eyes have dried and there are no tears.

I hate myself and my life. I cannot face the mirror for days bcoz I hate myself.

I am living for my 5 year old son. But I’m very depressed and have PCOD .

I don’t get sleep plus I get migraine attacks.

Hi Anu, 10+yrs of marriage with 9yr child. I am working and all financial burden is on me. I shifted separately from in-laws' house due to financial constraints and expectations. Though elder-in-law, my in-laws didn't try to stop our decision to move separately despite knowing that my hubby doesn't earn a single penny. They expected and I had to share financial expenses with my marginal income 10 years ago. After 5 years, we moved nearby and purchased our own house very little help from in-laws. I took loan and managed the rest with help from my family and friends. In between a lot happened. My father-in-law expired and my mother-in-law is a cancer patient. My mother-in-law started expecting from my hubby and me, probably because her younger son shifted with her family. She didn't want to live with them due to differences with her wife. She complained to my husband that we are not good enough to take care of her. I already had a lot of burden from office so I told my husband to take care of our child as well for sometime. He was quite depressed and frustrated with his inability to earn. Already lot of my hard-earned money has been put in his work n wasted.Now, the real problem during these difficult times began when we started fighting. I had lot of office stress and after mother in law complained, she shifted with her other son. At times, I got frustrated with my child also due to the whole mess, financial burden. I felt like all my hard earned money was wasted due to office stress and my hubby's irresponsible behaviour. He did not even take care of my child’s studies. He started watching porn... I saw him twice and even warned him. My husband started cheating on me with our maid. He did it when he was stressed because I was not able to give him time. I confronted him and since then it has been an emotional trauma. I am yet to accept it. 9 months have been passed. We decided on certain things but I couldn’t accept it.. Due to our emotional bond, I gave him another chance... During that time he accepted and was ready to leave everything and wanted me to be happy. He said he committed a big mistake but recently I found he called that b**ch later. When I confronted him he said he’d advised not to come home in front of his family members. I decided it would be best for him to move out and work from another place. My MIL was living with me but then I felt it too much at times.. now somewhat even my child has emotionally detached from him. It’s the same with him as we've been staying separately from 7 months. He visited 3 times during puja and other needs. I feel emotionally detached and I can’t digest the family situation.Sometimes I feel it's difficult to find the courage to avoid all and live alone. What's the point in living in a marriage for sake of it without having any emotional, physical, financial dependency or security?I am 39 and earn a decent salary at this moment. But I am not sure of my future as I work in a private firm. I am worried about my child’s education, old age, financial insecurity and burden. I haven’t been able to save much because of our financial liabilities and husband’s investments in businesses that never materialised.Before this incident, my husband supported me in my career and also to bring up our child. But what happened is too much and unexpected. Any suggestions?

I have two problems right now which are making me depressed and very, very lonely. I have been married for seven years now. After a year, there have been misunderstandings between us. I have been trying to talk to him and make him feel our love but I fail every time. He is too judgemental, obsessive and bossy. I thought he is behaving like this because he lost his parents but it’s been four years now. My sisters-in-law often create a rift between us. Sometimes, I feel that he doesn’t love me at all. While dealing with this, I had my parents and sister by my side. My sister's husband took advantage of the situation and tried to assault me. I complained about it to my mom and sister. My mom got scared that it might affect my sister's life so she wants me to forget about what happened. I didn't tell my husband because he is too aggressive. My mom, sister and her husband all are behaving as though nothing happened. I am scared that my husband will judge me for the rest of my life if I tell him and I love him. I am too disturbed and lonely. I feel empty, like no one is there for me. I have lost my sleep. Please, please help me. TK

Hi Anu, I have been reading your articles for quite some time. I am 40 years old in a marriage for last 12 years. I have a 11.5 year old son.My marriage is going through a very rough phase. My husband doesn't leave any chance to abuse me, doesn't matter where and with whom we areMy husband proposed to me knowing I have Vitiligo (discoloration of skin). Plus I was not as rich as him. I did make him aware of this before going ahead. His family was against our marriage still he went ahead. From the day of marriage he suddenly changed, and started abusing me in and out. First I thought my mother-in-law is creating problems which she did every time we came together. Infront of every maid and in the absence of my husband she tried to humiliate me based on my skin condition and financial status. But she'd become caring in his presence.After five years of marriage, for a few years we were away from family. It was peaceful and we had a nice time. But during the lockdown and online school we were back with the same problem. Now the condition is that I cannot stay with my husband. My family is very supportive but suggest that before taking any step I should think of my child. And that we should both sit and talk.If I try talking to my husband I know it will end in a fight. Kindly suggest which way should I go?