Anu Krishna |1269 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022
I have two problems right now which are making me depressed and very, very lonely.
I have been married for seven years now. After a year, there have been misunderstandings between us.
I have been trying to talk to him and make him feel our love but I fail every time.
He is too judgemental, obsessive and bossy.
I thought he is behaving like this because he lost his parents but it’s been four years now.
My sisters-in-law often create a rift between us. Sometimes, I feel that he doesn’t love me at all.
While dealing with this, I had my parents and sister by my side. My sister's husband took advantage of the situation and tried to assault me.
I complained about it to my mom and sister. My mom got scared that it might affect my sister's life so she wants me to forget about what happened.
I didn't tell my husband because he is too aggressive.
My mom, sister and her husband all are behaving as though nothing happened.
I am scared that my husband will judge me for the rest of my life if I tell him and I love him.
I am too disturbed and lonely. I feel empty, like no one is there for me. I have lost my sleep. Please, please help me.
TK
Dear TK,
Please stop making excuses for your husband’s behaviour or your sister’s husband’s behaviour.
If what you say is true then, by being bossy and judgmental, your husband has emotionally distanced himself from you and your sister’s husband has physically abused you.
You have lost your power by not calling this out.
Isn’t it the job of a husband to support his wife when she has been in any danger? And you are actually worried about your sister, her husband, your mother and your husband, which is affecting your state of mind.
The more you choose to ignore the wrong that has happened with you, the more it is going to impact you.
Also remember, if you allow your sister’s husband to roam around freely like this, he can do the same to another woman.
Yes, your husband might judge you, but you will judge yourself for life if you don’t take this step.
The biggest mistake a woman can make in the name of culture, society and family pride is to be silent. This silence causes a cascading effect on her and her family, especially her children, as she stops being happy.
Reclaim your power and speak up now.
Confide in a friend. Do what is right for you and make a statement for all the women who might be facing similar challenges.
As for your husband, don’t you think it’s possible to keep all these people out of your marriage and focus on your relationship? And that it’s time to appeal to him about making your marriage work and rebuild it from scratch?
Is that possible?
Only the two of you can answer once you have decided to take charge of your life.
All the best and a Happy 2022!
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