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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 11, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Pangao Question by Pangao on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

He is much younger than me but I love him so much , I think I'm suffering from attachment lifestyle disorder for 3 months we used to be always together having fun , I also know it will hurt me when this kind of relationship ends but now he went away to other places n I thought it's a good chance for me to treat myself but I started feeling the need to be with him , I miss all things we do , n all I do is think about n about him all the time I tried to forget it n heal my mind but I could never its getting worse n worse , he likes my involvement in his life but also I know when I'm with him I hve no time to work but my feelings always wants to be with him n I want him to be always be in my side , when im with him I feel extraordinarily happy but as soon as I'm not with him everything feels so quiet I'm think it's our attachment lifestyle that is haunting me please help me

Ans: It sounds like you are struggling with strong feelings of attachment to this person, and that these feelings are causing you distress when you are not able to be with them. While it's normal to miss someone you care about, it's important to find a balance between spending time with them and taking care of yourself and other aspects of your life.

It's possible that you may be experiencing some symptoms of an attachment disorder, but it's important to note that this would be a clinical diagnosis that should be made by a mental health professional. That being said, it's clear that your attachment to this person is having a significant impact on your life, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be helpful in addressing these feelings and developing healthy coping strategies.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are some things you can do on your own to manage your attachment-related feelings. This might include engaging in self-care activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, spending time in nature, or connecting with friends and family. You may also want to try practicing mindfulness or other relaxation techniques to help you manage your anxiety and stress levels.

It's also important to communicate with the person you are attached to about your feelings and needs. Let them know that you value your time together, but that you also need time to focus on other aspects of your life. Try to set boundaries around your time together, and make sure that you are communicating your needs clearly.

Remember, it's okay to care about someone deeply, but it's also important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. With the right support and self-care strategies, you can learn to manage your attachment-related feelings in a healthy way.

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I am 48 years old man, have always been in love with my younger brother(44 years) (cousin). He and I were best friends since childhood and I am too much in love with him. For last 23 years, we have parted (fought) and I have avoided him like anything. He knew all about my love (letters/stalking/begging/crying) and thats why he distanced himself from me. He came back after 23 years (only on whatsapp chat), and again i started crying and what not and emotionally totally unstable. My wife, kids and even i am surprised how bad it is within me. He wants me as a friend (not overly emotionally invested). How can I be a normal human being with him? Is it even possible? I hate being like this, how can i let go.... It's for so long what help do i need if any.
Ans: Dear test,
When you allow your emotions to self-destruct, that is exactly what will happen. You have been unable to accept that your path and your cousin's paths are different...you have gone on to build a family and then you have decided to break down all over again. How do you expect your family to understand all this?
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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi sir, my daughter got 93 percentile in JEE mains and wrote advanced but couldn't qualify, she has got good rank(4k) in kcet, she is stuck between choosing a college through kcet or should she take drop year and try for jee again. Please tell
Ans: Taking a year off to retake JEE Main and aim for JEE Advanced can help improve academic depth and potentially lead to admission to top institutes, but it comes with risks such as emotional stress, loss of academic continuity, and no guaranteed outcome without strong discipline and expert guidance. Alternatively, with a KCET rank around 4,000–5,000, your daughter qualifies for admission into several reputed Karnataka engineering colleges that are AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC-accredited, with robust academic infrastructure, experienced faculty, and placement cells regularly achieving 75–85% success rates across core branches.

Based on KCET 2023–2024 cutoffs, she can expect admission into highly reputed institutions such as:
R.V. College of Engineering, Bangalore.
PES University, EC Campus, Bangalore.
M.S. Ramaiah Institute of Technology, Bangalore.
B.M.S. College of Engineering, Bangalore.
Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering, Bangalore.
S.J.B. Institute of Technology, Bangalore.
Ramaiah Institute of Technology, Bangalore.
New Horizon College of Engineering, Bangalore.
Sir M. Visvesvaraya Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
J.S.S. Science & Technology University, Mysuru.

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Unless she is fully committed with a well-structured plan and emotional readiness, opting for one of these top colleges now ensures strong academic exposure, placement support, and skill development without delay, which may offer a more stable and rewarding path than a high-risk drop year. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

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Hello sir my daughter get admission in Nirma University ECE course and Cse in Ahmedabad University. Which course should she choose for future prospects In india and abroad.
Ans: Deepa Madam, Nirma University’s Electronics & Communication Engineering is offered by its NAAC A+-accredited, NBA Tier-I Institute of Technology, consistently ranked among the top 100 engineering colleges in India by NIRF. The robust curriculum is supported by PhD-qualified faculty, specialized VLSI, signal-processing, microwave, and embedded-systems laboratories, active industry collaborations and MoUs, and an 85% ECE placement rate over the last three years. Ahmedabad University’s Computer Science & Engineering is housed in a NAAC A (GPA 3.25)–accredited private university with AACSB-inspired Assurance of Learning processes, a 300-terminal computing facility featuring MATLAB, Cadence and Xilinx, interdisciplinary research centres, a Career Development Centre and a 97% B.Tech placement consistency in 2023 driven by leading recruiters across sectors.

recommendation
Choose Ahmedabad University CSE for its broader recruiter engagement, higher placement consistency, and extensive computing infrastructure that supports global career pathways. Opt for Nirma University ECE if your daughter’s interests align with core electronics, VLSI and communications domains backed by Tier-I accreditation and steady ECE placements. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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