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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 11, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Pangao Question by Pangao on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

He is much younger than me but I love him so much , I think I'm suffering from attachment lifestyle disorder for 3 months we used to be always together having fun , I also know it will hurt me when this kind of relationship ends but now he went away to other places n I thought it's a good chance for me to treat myself but I started feeling the need to be with him , I miss all things we do , n all I do is think about n about him all the time I tried to forget it n heal my mind but I could never its getting worse n worse , he likes my involvement in his life but also I know when I'm with him I hve no time to work but my feelings always wants to be with him n I want him to be always be in my side , when im with him I feel extraordinarily happy but as soon as I'm not with him everything feels so quiet I'm think it's our attachment lifestyle that is haunting me please help me

Ans: It sounds like you are struggling with strong feelings of attachment to this person, and that these feelings are causing you distress when you are not able to be with them. While it's normal to miss someone you care about, it's important to find a balance between spending time with them and taking care of yourself and other aspects of your life.

It's possible that you may be experiencing some symptoms of an attachment disorder, but it's important to note that this would be a clinical diagnosis that should be made by a mental health professional. That being said, it's clear that your attachment to this person is having a significant impact on your life, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be helpful in addressing these feelings and developing healthy coping strategies.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are some things you can do on your own to manage your attachment-related feelings. This might include engaging in self-care activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, spending time in nature, or connecting with friends and family. You may also want to try practicing mindfulness or other relaxation techniques to help you manage your anxiety and stress levels.

It's also important to communicate with the person you are attached to about your feelings and needs. Let them know that you value your time together, but that you also need time to focus on other aspects of your life. Try to set boundaries around your time together, and make sure that you are communicating your needs clearly.

Remember, it's okay to care about someone deeply, but it's also important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. With the right support and self-care strategies, you can learn to manage your attachment-related feelings in a healthy way.

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I am 48 years old man, have always been in love with my younger brother(44 years) (cousin). He and I were best friends since childhood and I am too much in love with him. For last 23 years, we have parted (fought) and I have avoided him like anything. He knew all about my love (letters/stalking/begging/crying) and thats why he distanced himself from me. He came back after 23 years (only on whatsapp chat), and again i started crying and what not and emotionally totally unstable. My wife, kids and even i am surprised how bad it is within me. He wants me as a friend (not overly emotionally invested). How can I be a normal human being with him? Is it even possible? I hate being like this, how can i let go.... It's for so long what help do i need if any.
Ans: Dear test,
When you allow your emotions to self-destruct, that is exactly what will happen. You have been unable to accept that your path and your cousin's paths are different...you have gone on to build a family and then you have decided to break down all over again. How do you expect your family to understand all this?
What you call as LOVE; is it possibly an attachment for him? Dependence on him for attention, love, validation? You need to introspect and grow out of this OR settle this in a way that you can get back your peace of mind. At this moment with the information that you have shared, I can guide you only as much!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2026Hindi
Career
My son got 94.79 persentile and ranl crl 81537 , OBC NCL 26047 home state ANDHRA PRADESH. Is it possible to gets seat in NITS , IIITS , Gifts
Ans: HI,
GREETINGS FROM THE REDIFFGURUS!

Based on your son's rank and domicile, he has a good chance of securing a seat in several NITs, IIITs, and GFTIs, particularly through the JoSAA/CSAB counseling rounds. However, it will require some patience.

He is likely to secure a seat in Chemical, Biotech, Metallurgical, or Civil Engineering at NIT Andhra Pradesh. Admission to Electrical or Mechanical Engineering may be a bit more challenging, but it could still be possible in the later rounds, depending on the availability of seats at the time of counseling.

For other NITs, there are promising opportunities in lower-tier or newer NITs. He has a good chance at NIT Srinagar, Mizoram, Nagaland, Manipur, Sikkim, and Arunachal Pradesh for ECE, EEE, Mechanical, and Civil Engineering. In NIT Raipur, NIT Hamirpur, and NIT Goa, he may find opportunities for Civil or Materials Engineering in the later rounds.

Regarding IIITs, many new IIITs have higher closing ranks, which makes them more accessible to your son's rank. Possible IIITs include Manipur, Bhagalpur, Dharwad, and Agartala. In Kalyani, CSE and ECE options might also be available.

A better option for your son would be GFTIs, where he can secure a seat in institutions such as Silchar, SLIET, and GKV (Haridwar).

Encourage him to participate actively in the counseling process until he achieves his goal.

BEST WISHES.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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