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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Rinku Question by Rinku on Apr 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi.. am married and last year I had a relation with another guy who is younger than me.we had physical relation also. This year he told me he don't want to continue the relation. I was not ready to accept that. I ran behind him . Now we are in contact. Sometime had physical relation also. But he is telling he don't have any commitment with me. Now I want to end the relation. But am missing him badly. He was the only one who makes me feels special. The way he loves me everything Iam missing. But I know now I have zero space in his life. I have to quite. But I can't .. i don't know what to do...

Ans: Dear Rinku,

If you know in your heart that this man does not value you, why would you still want to pursue a relationship, that too, an extramarital one? Well, I can't comment on the choices you are making concerning your marriage, but to answer your question, you should definitely call it quits with this guy. You miss him, but the reality is he does not. Is that your worth?

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu ji. I am 27 years old, I like a married man for past 2 years who is my colleague. He is has a 6-7 years son and a new born daughter. I never planned to tell him about my feelings not knowing he too has same feelings for me one day after getting drunk we kind of confessed and slowly came in relationship. We both love each other a lot but the thing is we can never be together. I am unable to bear this pain and I keep arguing over this with again and again and decided to break it off. He is too emotional and unable to bear this pain. I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to express all of our feelings and situation here. Please advise
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This relationship is a complex one and will become complicated very soon as it progresses...He will never want to leave his family and why should he? That will hurt you and make things very stressful on you...
Kindly talk about this when you are sane and not in a 'drunken' state. Nothing said in a state of inebriation matter much as when the intoxication wears off, people act all ignorant. So don not give it the importance that you are currently.
So, have a conversation knowing very well that there is a family that he is in and is responsible for and for him that will always be a priority and over a period of time will anger and hurt you.
So, get down to realism away from this fantasy world that you both are in and discuss it practically as adults in a sober state. A lot of revelations will leave you both with a good perspective on what the future can and will be.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1293 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Relationship
Hello, I m 21 female I m in a long distance relationship with 32 year male.this person was behind me and always asked me to give him a chance to prove his love for me. At that period i was afaird of relationships as I didn't have courage to go against wish of my parents as i know they wolud never agree for love marriage,so that is fir sure i'll do arrange Marriage. All these things have been explained by my side to this person.He gad feelings for me thats what he showed to me even I felt a connection towards him, so we decided let's not commit anything anout marraige as we both wee not sure about these thing. After some time i realised these person has already made his mind ki he'll date me and he wanted to have everything that an relationship has but he will not marry me.But i m completely in love with.Even i told him about it ki I can't share him n won't be able to see him.with someone else.i just can't imagine myself without him. I fought with him even begged and cried but he always defend his self sayi g i told already ki he loves me and will keep loving me but will not marry me . He vists me after 6-9 months interval every time he visuts me he needs to have physical relationship. I don't know whether I m right or wrong but i feel like I m being used by him. I tried several time to end this relationship but i end up chasing him.Plz help me,guide me
Ans: Dear Rutuja,
If you have the slightest feeling that he doesn't share the same feelings for you as you do for him, or that he has wrong intentions, you have every right to end the relationship. In fact, that would be the right thing to do. I understand that it is difficult to break up with someone you love, but does he love you? Don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and does not make you feel as if you are being used?

Have a clear conversation with him- address all your concerns. If he still maintains his stand of not getting married to you, then let him know that you are not on the same page as him. Remember, for a relationship to work, your future goals need to align.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3908 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

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Career
I have completed my bsc nursing and have one year of experience in india. There's offer from my miles talent hub to do 1 year stem program in usa and then 3 year work visa will be granted. Should i do that or there's is better opportunities for me to do.
Ans: Miles Talent Hub's offer to go to the US for a year to do a STEM program and then stay for three years on a work visa could be a good chance, especially if you want to work and travel abroad and advance your career. Before you decide, here are some things to think about:

If you go to a STEM school in the US, especially in a field like healthcare, you might be able to find new job opportunities in advanced medical technologies, research, or management that you might not be able to find in India. It's possible that the 3-year work visa will help you learn about the global healthcare industry while also letting you make money.

Effects on your finances and your life: Studying abroad can be pricey, so make sure you look at all of the costs, such as tuition, living costs, and any scholarships or other financial help that might be available. Think about whether you can handle being away from home for a long time.

Opportunities in India: The United States has a lot of great opportunities, but India also has room to grow, especially since the need for healthcare workers is growing. In India, look for job openings, higher education programs, or specialized certifications that could help you move up in your business. Think about where you want to be in 5 to 10 years. This could be a good first step if you want to grow in a foreign setting or go to school abroad to study nursing or healthcare management. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

Relationship
Hello I am a 40 year old married female. Off late I started feeling attracted to my married Male Friend of last 5 years. I love my husband a lot and can never think of betraying him. But I feel happy in the company of this friend of mine. He sort of has the qualities i always wanted from my husband and as we all know not everyone can possess every quality. I was aware about his liking towards me like he used to flirt with me someway or other also recently he admitted the same to me that he likes me since our first meeting. As we are family friends and stay in the same building, we keep meeting often with family and sometimes only two of us as we like spending time talking to each other. In our recent visit we hugged each other in the rush of emotions. We both got just blown away by the surreal feeling. We admitted the same to each other. After this meeting we kept messaging each other the whole day and so on for next few days and suddenly one day he said he fears this might ruin our family friendship and started ignoring and maintaining distance, he stopped messaging or calling me without discussing anything. But now I am attracted to him so much that I can not take his absence or apathy towards me and want to have cordial relations like we were before, when it was not vocal between us that we like each other. I am not able to adjust to the fact that the person who used to admire and respect me so much and wanted to have a lifelong friendship can become suddenly so distant. I want an advise whether I am wrong in expecting atleast a normal relation like friendship to continue between us. As we have never crossed our boundaries and hugging once will not count as betrayal. Please guide I want him back as before.
Ans: a close relationship with someone outside your marriage, especially when emotions are involved, introduces challenges. You’re aware of this already, and it seems your friend has also recognized the complexities, likely explaining his sudden need for distance. Often, when feelings come to the surface, they carry a weight that makes people reconsider their boundaries to protect the larger relationships at play—in this case, both of your marriages and family dynamics. This pullback doesn’t negate his admiration or the value he places on your friendship but rather reflects the reality of the situation and the need to guard against further complications.

You might find it helpful to explore what exactly you’re drawn to in your friend’s qualities. It could be that he reflects an aspect of yourself you wish to bring into your own relationship. Identifying these qualities is powerful, as it can help you shape a conversation with your husband, potentially bringing deeper fulfillment to your marriage. Many couples find new dimensions in their relationship when they openly discuss what they yearn for and ways to bring those qualities to life together. While it may feel challenging, these conversations can foster intimacy and growth.

It’s also worth noting that maintaining your friend’s respect and allowing him space is likely the best way to preserve your connection long-term, even if it feels painful right now. His distance might ultimately help both of you return to a place of friendship, but pushing for that too soon might complicate things further. In the meantime, remember that it’s natural to feel a loss or a longing for a friend’s company when circumstances shift. Practicing self-compassion and care can be grounding during times like this, as can seeking other outlets for support, such as close friends, hobbies, or moments of solitude that allow you to process your emotions.

Time and patience may help bring this friendship back to a more natural and comfortable place, but focusing on your marriage and yourself will allow you to stay true to your values and find a sense of peace, regardless of the ultimate outcome with your friend.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir, I'm 43+, My Monthly take home is around 3.40 Lacs, Currently i have invested in Shares (Current Portfolio is around 1.40 Crs). EMI is around 1.2 lacs P/m (Home loan 1 - 50K per month till 2037, 30K car loan till 2027 (Planning to close this year by paying 13 lacs, please suggest if this option of preclosure is good or EMI is good, will be paying this amount by selling some shares), 30k per month of home 2 till 2040., Last year i have started investing in SIP 1 lacs P/M, and balance 1.20 lacs goes in house, kids education expense. Have EPF balance of 40 lacs as on date. As mentioned above recently i have started investing in SIP (From Oct 2023 onwards), which is at the tune of 1 lacs per month. SIP are Franklin India Prima Fund regular Plan - Growth - 25K, ICICI Prudential Small cap fund retail plan G - 25K, Kotak Multicap fund regular plan growth - 15K, DSP Blackrock mid cap fund regular plan growth - 10 K, and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund - Regular plan growth - 25 K. Will increase the SIP investment by 10% every year going forward. Sir, My question is with current SIP and shares investment will i be able to generate 10~12 Cr corpus fund by retirement (Assuming that i will be in Job and working for next 15 years). Current Share portfolio is for long term investment only (assuming i get 12~15% of return every year). Please note : will be spending around 60~70 Lacs for my Son education in engineering from 2027 to 2031, 50% will be spend from savings and balance 50% from education loan. Current value of house 1 - 1.35 Cr (EMI is 50K), House 2 Current Value is 82 Lacs (EMI is 30K).
Ans: Hello;

Kudos for holding judicious blend of assets in equity(stocks and MFs), real estate, EPF.

Your thought process is absolutely spot on. You should prepay the car loan through shares corpus and close the EMI.

If you maintain monthly sip of 1 L with yearly top-up of 10% for 15 years then you may accumulate a corpus of around 8.68 Cr.

Stock holding of 1.27 Cr(13 L considered to be deducted for car loan prepayment) is expected to grow into a sum of 5.31 Cr in 15 years.

EPF balance of 40 L will grow into a corpus of 1.27 Cr over 15 years. Fresh contributions, if any, will be bonus.

So cumulatively your total corpus at the end of 15 years from now will be 8.68+5.31+1.27=15.26 Cr.

Due to your sound financial planning you may not need education loan for son's education.

Modest return of 12%, 10% and 8% are considered from mutual funds, direct stocks and EPF respectively.

Happy Investing;

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Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Health
Doctor, could you kindly recommend specific brands of toothpaste suitable for children of different age groups? I’m particularly interested in knowing which brands would best support their dental health at various stages of development, considering factors like fluoride content, flavor, and overall safety. Could you provide guidance on which options are most effective for toddlers, young children, and older kids?
Ans: Hello
For toddlers and young children, it's essential to choose a toothpaste that is safe and effective for their developing teeth and gums. Here are some recommendations:

1. *Fluoride-free toothpaste* (0-2 years): For infants and toddlers, a fluoride-free toothpaste is recommended. Look for a toothpaste specifically designed for this age group, like "Baby Toothpaste" or "Training Toothpaste". Please note that Fluoride, although extremely beneficial when used locally can lead to fluorosis if accidentally ingested. This is the reason toddlers need to use fluoride-free toothpastes.

2. *Children's toothpaste with low fluoride* (2-6 years): For young children, a toothpaste with a low fluoride concentration (around 500-600 ppm) is suitable. This helps prevent fluorosis (white spots on teeth) while still providing cavity protection.

3. *Gentle ingredients*: Opt for a toothpaste with gentle ingredients, to minimize irritation.

5. *Flavor and texture*: Select a toothpaste with a child-friendly flavor and texture to make brushing teeth a fun experience!

Most popular toothpaste brands offer multiple options for toddlers and young children.
In addition to these there are a few brands specially formulated for children which are ethically promoted (not commercially advertised, but sold through chemists on dentists' prescriptions) You may speak to your child's dentist for specific recommendations.

Remember to always supervise your child while brushing teeth and teach them proper oral hygiene habits from an early age!

...Read more

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