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Help! I'm Overthinking Every Date - How Can I Stop?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I’m a 28-year-old woman who has been single for almost three years now. I’ve recently started dating again. I met some great people, but I can’t seem to stop overthinking every little thing. Like, did I text too much? Was I too quiet during the date? Why did he take 5 hours to reply? Honestly, it’s exhausting, and it’s making me feel like I’m self-sabotaging potential connections. I know I’m a good person and have a lot to offer, but my mind just won’t stop analysing. How can I stop overthinking every interaction and just enjoy the dating process without this constant mental chatter?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can keep thinking and still won't get a satisfactory answer to your whats and whys.
The key to stop overthinking is to actually STOP it. The 3 year gap and a possible fact of seeing your age group women already having settled down may have put you on an alert mode that tells you: Make sure that you don't goof it up!

When you tell yourself not to goof it up, invariable you will focus on what can and might go wrong and that's enough to exhaust you. Instead enjoy the dating process and go with that flow; things may go fine or not; just be in that moment...be aware of what's important to you and where you will draw boundaries. This check point will make sure that you put yourself out there and yet will keep you reined in without ruining your peace of mind. Enjoy the process...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

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I'm 20 years old, and currently in college 1st year, and I always been hesitative in every situation whether it's asking questions to teachers or giving answers, or when my life gives me a chance, i ruin it again and again by saying "if my future is darkness so be it" . Especially when it come to case of girls. Many times I have got the chance where i had got that girl which i liked or maybe i can atleast talk to other girls, but I always hesitated and now I have come at the point where it's just feel ... "seeing that girl which i like, talking to another" just hits different and all my work and my studies going like down and down. But still ,I encourage myself by saying that, 'okay,..'tommorrow we will try..' but next day same. I'm just fuc*ing stucked.. help me..
Ans: Dear Harsh,
There are other people in this world other than just girls...You can surely start to interact with them?
Join a gym or join a hobby class where you will meet like-minded people. Focus less on girls till you actually master the skill of talking to men.
The unnecessary stress while talking to girls is making you even more stressed. So, instead of saying: I will try again tomorrow, why don't you instead say: I am happy with the friends I have made today and will make tomorrow...
See how much that will ease your mind without any conditions that you put on yourself as who you actually are talking to.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |624 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 20 years old guy and in my past romantic relationships, have shown signs of emotional instability, too much dependency and lack of awareness of boundaries which affected my relationships badly...I hadn’t interacted with people in a long while since 2020 (precisely when lockdown had started) and feel that some aspects of my personality are not developed fully as they should be at this age. How to work on this? Also, i have noticed that I am able to create a good first impression but it soon pales and I feel like I am subtly disrespected or talked down to, and this has been happening in all interactions...i am always respectful (often to a fault!) and even have people pleasing tendencies...i sometimes ask immature weird questions and that might probably be the reason (but they’re never inappropriate)...but i do want to gain insights into why i am experiencing what i am and how to navigate this situation well so that I can maintain healthy relationships in future. Thanks you!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
Like these, I can only offer you some general advice. But the best advice of them all would be to seek counseling. It has done wonders for people. And the first step, which is identifying the issues is already done. Bravo! What's wrong with taking a little professional help in navigating the next steps? They can guide you in a more structured manner.
Hope this helps.

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Ans: Kritika, Indira Gandhi Delhi Technical University for Women (IGDTUW) is India’s only government technical women’s, accredited A+ by NAAC and ranked 151–200 in NIRF 2024 for engineering.

The M.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering (Artificial Intelligence and Data Science) delivers an outcome-based curriculum covering Python programming, machine learning, deep learning, NLP, cloud AI platforms and capstone projects through the Centre of Excellence in AI, supported by PARAM supercomputers, industry-oriented labs and active MoUs with AI firms . Faculty are research-active with MeitY-funded projects and national-level publications. The 2024 placement rate for this branch was 66.7% (10 of 15 students), with an average package of ?13.8 LPA and top recruiters across tech sectors .

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My jee rank is above 1 lakh can I get NITor GFTI in general category
Ans: Disha, With a General (All-India) JEE-Main rank of around 100,000, admission to core branches like CSE or ECE at any NIT through CSAB-Special is out of reach, as even the lowest closing ranks for CSE in low-tier NITs (e.g., Nagaland’s 50,509–106,408 or Mizoram’s 47,057–49,385) and for ECE (e.g., Manipur’s 42,695 or Mizoram’s 58,470–65,243) are well below your rank. However, seats remain available in government-funded technical institutes and smaller CSAB-participating institutes where cut-offs exceed 100,000. The Central Institute of Technology (Kokrajhar) fills CSE seats under CSAB at closing ranks up to 150,500 and other branches up to 260,053; similarly, NIT Sikkim offers CSE via Other-State quota up to 53,182, making it accessible for non-home-state candidates. Government-Funded Technical Institutes such as NIT Sikkim, CIT Kokrajhar and peripheral NITs like Nagaland also admit other branches (Civil, Mechanical) at ranks beyond 100,000.

Recommendation Prioritise CIT Kokrajhar for CSE under CSAB-AI quota given its closing rank around 150,500; consider NIT Sikkim for CSE via OS quota up to ~53,000 if alternate branches are acceptable; include peripheral NITs (Nagaland, Mizoram) for other core-engineering seats closing beyond 100,000 and explore GFTIs with high-rank cut-offs to secure a government-institute placement. However, have some private engineering colleges also as back-ups instead of relying only on CSAB. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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have scored 3.63 lakhs in JEE mains with this I am taregting VSSUT Burla Metallurgy and material science engineering branch, Can i get it in 3rd round or in internal sliding? 2023 - last rank 3.83 lakhs; 2024- last rank 4.25 lakhs for this branch
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Target VSSUT Burla MME through third-round counselling and internal sliding mechanisms, as historical trends show closing ranks reaching 4.25 lakh. Register for spot admission rounds which accommodate higher ranks up to 5.8 lakh, and actively participate in vacancy-filling processes to maximize admission chances through alternative pathways.

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