Help! I'm Overthinking Every Date - How Can I Stop?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I will address this question in 3 parts
Part I
What causes overthinking?
- Any unpleasant event from the past or any expectation of an unpleasant event in the future happening causes anxiety/panic.
- To recover from the past experience or prevent a future occurrence goes into a mode of self-preservation whereby your thoughts LOOP one into another: If this happens, then that can happen and if that happened, what more can happen!
This is OVERTHINKING....predicating without adequate proof and projecting one situation into another.
This is our of your control OR locus of control...
Still why do you do it?
Because you want to move away from the pain a past event caused or a future event might cause. Who wants pain, right?

Part II
How much do I believe Overthinking?
NEVER!
Of course, the past event might recur, but you also know how to deal with it because you have already experienced it.
Of course, a future event might happen, but isn't it better to live in peace for NOW and actually think: I will cross the bridge when it comes
So doubt your thoughts that cause you to overthink

Part III
What can I do to change this habit?
Since you are aware as to the harm it causes you like headaches and restlessness, you know that this has to stop.
So, try this:
1. When you start to LOOP, doubt your thoughts and ask: Is this really true?
2. Journal about certain unpleasant experiences from the past
3. Remind yourself that you know what to do in any situation
4. Break into a dance or go for a run as this helps displace the feelings from your body
5. Surround yourself with people that are happy and positive
6. Leave the past behind and Let the future happen when it must
7. Practise breathing exercise that help you calm

Lastly and most importantly, tell yourself: I am more powerful than my fears and I have the means to work on them.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Harsh,
There are other people in this world other than just girls...You can surely start to interact with them?
Join a gym or join a hobby class where you will meet like-minded people. Focus less on girls till you actually master the skill of talking to men.
The unnecessary stress while talking to girls is making you even more stressed. So, instead of saying: I will try again tomorrow, why don't you instead say: I am happy with the friends I have made today and will make tomorrow...
See how much that will ease your mind without any conditions that you put on yourself as who you actually are talking to.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!