Home > Relationship > Question

Sign In | Create an account

Language:

Now in हिन्दी too

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Help! I'm Overthinking Every Date - How Can I Stop?

Anu Krishna |1437 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I’m a 28-year-old woman who has been single for almost three years now. I’ve recently started dating again. I met some great people, but I can’t seem to stop overthinking every little thing. Like, did I text too much? Was I too quiet during the date? Why did he take 5 hours to reply? Honestly, it’s exhausting, and it’s making me feel like I’m self-sabotaging potential connections. I know I’m a good person and have a lot to offer, but my mind just won’t stop analysing. How can I stop overthinking every interaction and just enjoy the dating process without this constant mental chatter?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can keep thinking and still won't get a satisfactory answer to your whats and whys.
The key to stop overthinking is to actually STOP it. The 3 year gap and a possible fact of seeing your age group women already having settled down may have put you on an alert mode that tells you: Make sure that you don't goof it up!

When you tell yourself not to goof it up, invariable you will focus on what can and might go wrong and that's enough to exhaust you. Instead enjoy the dating process and go with that flow; things may go fine or not; just be in that moment...be aware of what's important to you and where you will draw boundaries. This check point will make sure that you put yourself out there and yet will keep you reined in without ruining your peace of mind. Enjoy the process...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna |1437 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Question by harsh - May 21, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I'm 20 years old, and currently in college 1st year, and I always been hesitative in every situation whether it's asking questions to teachers or giving answers, or when my life gives me a chance, i ruin it again and again by saying "if my future is darkness so be it" . Especially when it come to case of girls. Many times I have got the chance where i had got that girl which i liked or maybe i can atleast talk to other girls, but I always hesitated and now I have come at the point where it's just feel ... "seeing that girl which i like, talking to another" just hits different and all my work and my studies going like down and down. But still ,I encourage myself by saying that, 'okay,..'tommorrow we will try..' but next day same. I'm just fuc*ing stucked.. help me..

Ans: Dear Harsh,
There are other people in this world other than just girls...You can surely start to interact with them?
Join a gym or join a hobby class where you will meet like-minded people. Focus less on girls till you actually master the skill of talking to men.
The unnecessary stress while talking to girls is making you even more stressed. So, instead of saying: I will try again tomorrow, why don't you instead say: I am happy with the friends I have made today and will make tomorrow...
See how much that will ease your mind without any conditions that you put on yourself as who you actually are talking to.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Archana Deshpande |95 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi

Career

I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?

Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

Latest Questions

Milind Vadjikar |865 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Question by Vipin - Jan 03, 2025Hindi

Money

I have a PF account pre-UAN and the transfer to the current account with UAN needs either the previous employer to approve or the current employer can approve. In my case the previous company closed its operations in India and have no one here, and I do not have a present employment too. So what's the remedy for me to claim my earlier PF?

Ans: Hello;

Your case is peculiar therefore I recommend you to personally visit the EPFO office where your old EPF account is held and talk to the officials about your situation.

They may offer you a solution for sure, else you may raise a grievance in EPFiGMS portal regarding your concern.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |865 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Question by Rakesh - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Money

What is the best plan for investing Rs 40 lakh for regular post retirement income.

Ans: Hello;

A mix of POMIS(15 L; jointly) and SCSS(25 L) would be good.

If quarterly interest payments of SCSS is an issue then an FD with a Govt bank or a very big private bank paying monthly interest is also okay.

Immediate annuity from a life insurance company could also be a decent option because it provides regular income for longer periods with option of joint(both husband and wife) annuity for life with return of purchase price to the nominee, after them.

Best wishes;

Milind Vadjikar |865 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Advait, hope you are doing well. Can we invest now in relaxo at 577 level.

Ans: Hello;

Outlook for Relaxo in the short to medium term looks muted due to intense competition from the unorganised sector hence pressure on sales as well as margins.

Therefore my view would be to explore better options.

Alternatively you may also seek a advice on this stock from a sebi registered research analyst.

Happy Investing;

Ravi Mittal |505 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Relationship

I am 31 years old and have been married for 6 years. My relatives keep pressuring me and scaring me, saying that I haven’t had a child yet and that I should have one now. However, we are not financially prepared at the moment. We have just bought a house, and the loans have recently started, which exhausted all our savings for the down payment. My husband’s family had a very weak financial background. They had nothing, and he struggled a lot, even living in someone else’s house to complete his education. Only he knows how hard it was. Now, his salary has improved, and I am also employed. Additionally, we are entirely responsible for my in-laws, as my husband’s elder brother neither got married nor provides any support for the parents. We are under a lot of pressure right now, but everyone just keeps asking us when we are going to have a child. I’ve seen how my husband struggled with limited finances when the family was financially weak, and I don’t want to show such hardships to our children. On top of that, I am overweight and focused on losing weight to ensure I can be healthy. I feel very stressed and confused, but my husband is fully supportive of me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I am really glad that you are being so responsible and practical, rather than making such life-changing decisions based on emotions alone. Second, don't worry about other's opinions; they might have your best interest at heart, but this should be solely your decision. You should have a child only when you are ready to have one- both mentally, physically, and financially. And no hard and fast rule says you should have a child within a certain year of your marriage. Two people in a marriage is a whole family too; a child can add to the joy if that is what you want. But if not, your family is still complete. Please remember that.

Take care of your health and your mind. If you are worried about your age, you can always go see a doctor and see how many years you can delay this. Rushing is never a good idea.

Best Wishes.

Milind Vadjikar |865 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Question by Baldev - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Money

Sir I have Jeeva saral policy which is about to nearing its maturity in July 2025. I paid it's premium regularly by quarterly mode of payment from last 16 years. How much benefit l will get.

Ans: Hello;

You may expect a XIRR of 5.5-6% or even lower on premiums invested in this policy.

If you get better then this it would be great.

Best wishes;

Samraat Jadhav |2170 Answers |Ask -Follow

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Question by Rajesh - Dec 19, 2024Hindi

Money

hi can i invest 5 lakhs in IRFC @ current price and leave it to grow for next 5 to 6 years. Will this fetch me atleast 5X retruns. is the stock fundamentally stable and potential?

Ans: 5x expectation is too much, please be reasonable. Its trading at high PE now and future growth could be impacted on lot of parameters. If you are expecting anything between 8-12% yearly, then its reasonable.

Radheshyam Zanwar |1144 Answers |Ask -Follow

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Career

I'm a bsc botany graduate and now got admission and doing msc. I'm in first year and just gave my 1st semester exam but somehow now i feel i can't do botany at all its not just in my interest. I can't continue further with it as i dont think there's much scope too. I have interest in fields like geography or law related subjects. I'll be attempting for upsc too this year and also had a second thought to go for Law. Should i drop the msc? ....I've cried a lot thinking about that and its affecting my mental health too.

Ans: Hello dear.
First I would like to suggest that, in any way, you first complete your M.Sc. (Botnay) either with interest or without interest. Who told you that there is less scope in Botany? There are a lot of career options after M.Sc. (Botany).It is good that you are interested in geography and are attempting UPSC this year. Dear, along with your M.Sc. you can easily appear for UPSC and do the study of Geography, after completing your M.Sc. you can take the admission to Law course. Many people do the law even after their retirement or in due course of their service. There is no need to cry about the things which happened to you.
Suggestions: (1) Completer M.Sc. (Botany) by any means (2) Space-time to read Geography and UPSC Syllabus (3) Develop your overall personality and try to engage in some extracurricular activities of your interest.
Best of luck for your upcoming bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

Milind Vadjikar |865 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Question by arpit - Jan 14, 2025Hindi

Money

Hi, I am a new investor 41 yrs old, so far10L invested in various MF categories. Here are list of investments through SIP’sand lumpsum: 20K in Nippon Large Cap, 15K in Quant Mid cap 15K in ICICI Pru multi asset 15K in Parag Parekh flexi cap 15K in Edleweiss small cap 1L lumpsum in Motilal Oswal mid small Healthcare index fund 2L lumpsum in ICICI Pru all season bond fund 12.5K/month in PPF Can I achieve my retirement goals, both child education (9 yrs old & 5 months old), marriage etc. and is there a need to balance my portfolio. Also is there any need me to consider in other investments options.

Ans: Hello;

Your current lumpsum and monthly investment into mutual funds may be adequate to meet the education and marriage requirement of your kids. (~2 Cr)

Apart from that it may provide a retirement corpus (~5 Cr).

If you have a female kid invest in SSY(12.5 K per month) since the interest is more then PPF and other benefits are similar only with different withdrawal stage.

Also you may supplement your retirement planning through NPS (~20 K per month).

Review performance of your funds annually with reference to the category average and benchmark.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

Milind Vadjikar |865 Answers |Ask -Follow

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 48 , Income: Take home 2.5 L / pm , PPF amount 47 L , NPS - 20 L , FD- 37 L , Life Insurance - 80 L, Expenses 75 k /pm . Please advice me a plan for 2 L income / pm from 2036.

Ans: Hello;

You may need a corpus of 6 Cr to generate a post-tax monthly income of 2 L+. (Assuming 6% annuity rate and 30% tax)

Assuming your existing investment stay and continue till 2035(PPF, NPS, FD) it may grow into a cumulative corpus of 2.93 Cr.(12.5 K pm into PPF+47 L @ 6.9%, 20 K pm into NPS+20 L @ 8%, FD of 37 L @ 7.4%)

So you need to fill the gap of (6-2.93=3.07 Cr) through monthly sip.

You may begin with a monthly sip of 1 L into a combination of pure equity mutual funds and step it up each year by a minimum of 3% to reach your target in 11 years.

Here the assumption is that you have term life insurance of 80 L with no maturity value.

If it's an endowment policy then assuming maturity value of 80 L you may attain your target with a flat monthly sip of 83 K into a combination of pure equity mutual funds.

Make sure to move your gains from equity funds into liquid funds as you approach closer to your retirement to avoid it getting affected by market volatility.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay |298 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 16, 2025

Question by vikas - Jan 15, 2025Hindi

Career

Hello sir I am working in psb as an officer and want to switch but too confuse...

Ans: First tell me why you want to switch over to other organization? Then I can guide you. Best of luck. Just follow me. May God Bless You. Professor.....................................:)

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Video Reply
Audio Reply

WhatsApp
Facebook
Twitter
Copy link

Delete

Close

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus

Sign up

email

uname

mobile no

Country Code

Mobile number

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

LOGIN

x